Joke Time! - GoFuckYourself.com

XTuber · 07-05-2007, 11:30 AM

A man walks in his front door and yells
"Honey, we won the lottery, pack your bags"

she replies "That's great where to?"

"I don't care just pack em and get out."

who · 07-05-2007, 11:42 AM

It's a true story.

sniperwolf · 07-05-2007, 12:55 PM

you're a gypsy!

XTube_Kurtis · 07-05-2007, 01:20 PM

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
on his divorce case.
"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
proclaimed the judge.
"But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
she was fucking Goofy!"

Jimmy Rock · 07-05-2007, 01:22 PM

Haha I love that one!

cooluks · 07-05-2007, 01:24 PM

Nice and simple joke...

It means the guy is mad with his wife...

Subtle · 07-05-2007, 01:40 PM

Nice and funny jokes!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by who

It's a true story.

I can not believe it. Give more details.

carol.prime · 07-05-2007, 01:53 PM

so funny...

simple and cool stuffs there!!

Slick · 07-05-2007, 01:55 PM

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ???

"glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"

SexualDragon · 07-05-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XTube_Kurtis

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
on his divorce case.
"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
proclaimed the judge.
"But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
she was fucking Goofy!"

SykkBoy · 07-05-2007, 02:25 PM

What do you do if an elephant eats you?
Run around and around in his stomach until you get all pooped out

J. Falcon · 07-05-2007, 02:36 PM

A drunk walks out of a bar and walks into a tree.

"Ugh, excuse me, sir, didn't see ya there," he says.

He turns around the other way and walks into a another tree.

"Oh! Sorry madame, didn see you."

Again he turns around and walks into a different tree.

"Sorry, young man, didn't meen to bump into ya."

Finally, exhausted and frustrated, he leans against the wall of the bar and says: "Think I'll just wait for the parade to passes through."

Violetta · 07-05-2007, 02:44 PM

I love joke threads... bring em on!

lazylurker · 07-05-2007, 02:45 PM

axelcat · 07-05-2007, 02:46 PM

J. Falcon · 07-05-2007, 02:49 PM

There was an old timer who lived in a small Western City all alone with his dog, Bobby. The man loved and was very proud of his dog. The dog loved him, followed him everywhere and was very loyal. The dog, Bobby, could also do quite a few tricks. The Old timer loved his Bobby and Bobby loved his master.

One day a big city commercial director was driving through the small, dusty town and stopped to get gas. He got into a conversation with one of the employees there, told him that he did commercials and that he was currently looking for a cute, smart dog for his next commercial. So, obviously, the employee told him about the old timer and his dog.

When the big shot director got to the old timers house and told him about the commercial, the old man was thrilled!

"Yes," he said, "Bobby is a very smart dog. Bobby! Come here!"

The dog bounced over. The director looked at Bobby. The dog didn't look too smart, but if he could a few cool tricks, it could still work out.

"What can he do?" The director asked.

"What can he do?," laughed the old man. "What can't he do you mean!."

The director was stunned. "Show me," he said.

The old man man thought for a bit. He saw dollar bills in his mind. He would get rich. He just had to impress this big city dude. Hmm, what could he do?

"You know what?" The old man said. "This dog is so smart that, if I tell him to, he'll suck you cock!"

The director was literally speechless. He was about to get up and leave, but decided to stay, just to see if this crazy old man was telling the truth.

"Bobby" said the old timer, "show that special trick of yours to this nice man."

Bobby sat still. He didn't move.

"Come on, Bobby! Do that trick"

The dog looked dumbly at his master, then at the director.

"Bobby, do that trick"

The director grew impatient. "I'm outta here!" He said.

"Wait, wait!" cried the man. "Bobby! Do the trick."

No reaction from the dog.

Finally, angry and imaptient, the old man got on his knees in front of the director's chair, looked at the dog and said: "Okay, Bobby, but this is the last time I show you how it's done."

SykkBoy · 07-05-2007, 02:55 PM

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass

u-Bob · 07-05-2007, 03:02 PM

old but funny

Shotoku · 07-05-2007, 03:36 PM

SykkBoy · 07-05-2007, 03:38 PM

Why do cannibals hate clowns?

They taste funny

BaldBishop · 07-05-2007, 03:57 PM

SilentBean · 07-05-2007, 04:06 PM

Freaky_Akula · 07-05-2007, 04:10 PM

MrCain · 07-05-2007, 04:37 PM

LMAO

respect · 07-05-2007, 04:55 PM

thanks

Brother Bilo · 07-05-2007, 04:59 PM

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

amandaspost · 07-05-2007, 05:15 PM

haha

woj · 07-05-2007, 05:15 PM

some good ones here

shekinah · 07-05-2007, 05:39 PM

Jokes make my day a happy day!

WalkerTR · 07-05-2007, 05:41 PM

LMAO

Nicolas · 07-05-2007, 06:36 PM

hehe

XTube_Kurtis · 07-06-2007, 07:14 AM

Superman is on his way to a large reunion of superheroes being
held in Miami Beach. He arrives two hours late; his
clothes are a mess and he has definitely been in a fight. As he
approaches his table, his good friend Batman yells, "Hey, Man of Steel,
what happened to you?"
"Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I was zipping along the
coastline, making great time, when suddenly I look down and there, lying
naked on the Jacksonville beach, was Wonder Woman!"
"Wow!" says Robin. "What did you do?"
"What do you think I did, kid? Her legs were spread, so I figured I
was in like Flynn. I dove down like an eagle and jumped her bones!"
"Boy, I bet she was surprised," said Batman.
Superman smiles weakly and says, "Yeah, she was; but not as
surprised as the Invisible Man was."

SpacemanSpiff · 07-06-2007, 01:44 PM

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" ( hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure. It's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably. It is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No. I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?"

HUSBAND: "Yes. Those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No. She's left-handed."

WIFE: - Silence -

HUSBAND: ...."Shit."

Shocking · 07-06-2007, 02:42 PM

More jokes please... more jokes

Farang · 07-06-2007, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XTube_Kurtis

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
on his divorce case.
"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
proclaimed the judge.
"But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
she was fucking Goofy!"

that's a good one, thanks

tranza · 07-06-2007, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cooluks

Nice and simple joke...

It means the guy is mad with his wife...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

Are you for real????

KILL_FRENZY · 07-06-2007, 03:28 PM

Triple10Terry · 07-06-2007, 03:34 PM

A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers!

tranza · 07-06-2007, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TD_Triple10

A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers!

Lololololololololololololol!!!!

swoop · 07-06-2007, 03:49 PM

the drunk guy joke was good

Fresh · 07-06-2007, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slick

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ???

"glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"

Axarsys · 07-06-2007, 05:16 PM

Mr. Fly and Ms. Elephant were married. As Fly flies around his wife he decides he wants some anal so he flies behind the elephant, enters it's orifice and starts banging its organ on the walls. Naturally the elephant doesn't feel a thing and after a while it farts and walks on. And Fly goes: "Damn hurricane, it even took the woman from my dick!"

Of the top of my head, I'll think of something better.

J. Falcon · 07-06-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swoop

the drunk guy joke was good

Thanks

Axarsys · 07-06-2007, 05:56 PM

The police officer: "How could you murder your entire household with such brutality?!"
The man in the interrogation chair: "I entered the house, I killed them all, I exited, entered the house, killed all, and went like that from house to house until I reached MY house"

ProducerCashDave · 07-06-2007, 06:00 PM

funny thread

07-05-2007, 11:30 AM	#1
XTuber Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 149	Joke Time! A man walks in his front door and yells "Honey, we won the lottery, pack your bags" she replies "That's great where to?" "I don't care just pack em and get out." __________________ Lance Cassidy, Director, XTube.com. NOW KNOWN AS XTube_Lance. Advertise on XTube.com: Over 5 million uniques/day, 15 million PV/day and 3.2 million members. www.XTube.com. P: 416.321.0588, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 301214977, Email: lance[at]xtube[dot]com

07-05-2007, 12:55 PM	#3
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	you're a gypsy! __________________ ~Accepting design works~

07-05-2007, 01:20 PM	#4
XTube_Kurtis Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Location: Toronto, Ontario Canada Posts: 231	Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict on his divorce case. "Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent," proclaimed the judge. "But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!" __________________ Give Your Monkey Some Luvin' Kurtis Potec, Director Of Operations, XTube.com Advertise on XTube.com P: 416.915.2133, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 376-447-088 Wanna Be An Amateur Model? Email Me: [email protected] and I'll Hook You Up!

07-05-2007, 01:22 PM	#5
Jimmy Rock Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: West Hollywood Posts: 3,055	Haha I love that one! __________________ Jimmy Rock \| ICQ: 285 748 329 [email protected]

07-05-2007, 01:53 PM	#8
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	so funny... simple and cool stuffs there!! __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

07-05-2007, 11:42 AM	#2
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	It's a true story.

07-05-2007, 01:24 PM	#6
cooluks Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 125	Nice and simple joke... It means the guy is mad with his wife...

07-05-2007, 01:55 PM	#9
Slick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Houghton, MI Posts: 7,338	What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ??? "glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"

07-05-2007, 02:25 PM	#11
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	What do you do if an elephant eats you? Run around and around in his stomach until you get all pooped out __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

07-05-2007, 02:36 PM	#12
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,619	A drunk walks out of a bar and walks into a tree. "Ugh, excuse me, sir, didn't see ya there," he says. He turns around the other way and walks into a another tree. "Oh! Sorry madame, didn see you." Again he turns around and walks into a different tree. "Sorry, young man, didn't meen to bump into ya." Finally, exhausted and frustrated, he leans against the wall of the bar and says: "Think I'll just wait for the parade to passes through." __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

07-05-2007, 02:44 PM	#13
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	I love joke threads... bring em on! __________________ M&A Queen

07-05-2007, 02:45 PM	#14
lazylurker Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3

07-05-2007, 02:46 PM	#15
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

07-05-2007, 02:49 PM	#16
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,619	There was an old timer who lived in a small Western City all alone with his dog, Bobby. The man loved and was very proud of his dog. The dog loved him, followed him everywhere and was very loyal. The dog, Bobby, could also do quite a few tricks. The Old timer loved his Bobby and Bobby loved his master. One day a big city commercial director was driving through the small, dusty town and stopped to get gas. He got into a conversation with one of the employees there, told him that he did commercials and that he was currently looking for a cute, smart dog for his next commercial. So, obviously, the employee told him about the old timer and his dog. When the big shot director got to the old timers house and told him about the commercial, the old man was thrilled! "Yes," he said, "Bobby is a very smart dog. Bobby! Come here!" The dog bounced over. The director looked at Bobby. The dog didn't look too smart, but if he could a few cool tricks, it could still work out. "What can he do?" The director asked. "What can he do?," laughed the old man. "What can't he do you mean!." The director was stunned. "Show me," he said. The old man man thought for a bit. He saw dollar bills in his mind. He would get rich. He just had to impress this big city dude. Hmm, what could he do? "You know what?" The old man said. "This dog is so smart that, if I tell him to, he'll suck you cock!" The director was literally speechless. He was about to get up and leave, but decided to stay, just to see if this crazy old man was telling the truth. "Bobby" said the old timer, "show that special trick of yours to this nice man." Bobby sat still. He didn't move. "Come on, Bobby! Do that trick" The dog looked dumbly at his master, then at the director. "Bobby, do that trick" The director grew impatient. "I'm outta here!" He said. "Wait, wait!" cried the man. "Bobby! Do the trick." No reaction from the dog. Finally, angry and imaptient, the old man got on his knees in front of the director's chair, looked at the dog and said: "Okay, Bobby, but this is the last time I show you how it's done." __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

07-05-2007, 02:55 PM	#17
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

07-05-2007, 03:02 PM	#18
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	old but funny

07-05-2007, 03:36 PM	#19
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07-05-2007, 03:38 PM	#20
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	Why do cannibals hate clowns? They taste funny __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

07-05-2007, 03:57 PM	#21
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07-05-2007, 04:06 PM	#22
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07-05-2007, 04:10 PM	#23
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07-05-2007, 04:37 PM	#24
MrCain Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,332	LMAO __________________ Sigmund

07-05-2007, 04:55 PM	#25
respect Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 18,399	thanks

07-05-2007, 04:59 PM	#26
Brother Bilo Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: I live in cage Posts: 4,193	What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. __________________

07-05-2007, 05:15 PM	#27
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07-05-2007, 05:15 PM	#28
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	some good ones here __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

07-05-2007, 05:39 PM	#29
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07-05-2007, 05:41 PM	#30
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07-05-2007, 06:36 PM	#31
Nicolas Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,497	hehe __________________ Buy Clicked Traffic Cheap Hosting - Adult Script Depot - TGP CMS

07-06-2007, 07:14 AM	#32
XTube_Kurtis Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Location: Toronto, Ontario Canada Posts: 231	Superman is on his way to a large reunion of superheroes being held in Miami Beach. He arrives two hours late; his clothes are a mess and he has definitely been in a fight. As he approaches his table, his good friend Batman yells, "Hey, Man of Steel, what happened to you?" "Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I was zipping along the coastline, making great time, when suddenly I look down and there, lying naked on the Jacksonville beach, was Wonder Woman!" "Wow!" says Robin. "What did you do?" "What do you think I did, kid? Her legs were spread, so I figured I was in like Flynn. I dove down like an eagle and jumped her bones!" "Boy, I bet she was surprised," said Batman. Superman smiles weakly and says, "Yeah, she was; but not as surprised as the Invisible Man was." __________________ Give Your Monkey Some Luvin' Kurtis Potec, Director Of Operations, XTube.com Advertise on XTube.com P: 416.915.2133, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 376-447-088 Wanna Be An Amateur Model? Email Me: [email protected] and I'll Hook You Up!

07-06-2007, 01:44 PM	#33
SpacemanSpiff Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: 5th and main Posts: 230	Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question. WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would?" ( hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure. It's a great house." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably. It is almost new." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?" HUSBAND: "No. I'm sure she'd want her own." WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?" HUSBAND: "Yes. Those are always good times." WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?" HUSBAND: "No. She's left-handed." WIFE: - Silence - HUSBAND: ...."Shit." __________________ Freepicssex.com - Submit Your Free Sites

07-06-2007, 02:42 PM	#34
Shocking Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Panama Posts: 523	More jokes please... more jokes __________________ Web Design, Programming and much more! Complete Mobile Solutions 199-428-702

07-06-2007, 03:28 PM	#37
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07-06-2007, 03:34 PM	#38
Triple10Terry Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The MIeAsy Posts: 1,024	A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers! __________________ ICQ 477945942

07-06-2007, 03:49 PM	#40
swoop Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 3,903	the drunk guy joke was good __________________ Earn 50 % Per Sale - Weekly Payments by check, wire, PayPal, or ePassporte