Joke Time!

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  • XTuber
    Confirmed User
    • Mar 2006
    • 149
    #1

    Joke Time!

    A man walks in his front door and yells
    "Honey, we won the lottery, pack your bags"

    she replies "That's great where to?"

    "I don't care just pack em and get out."


    Lance Cassidy, Director, XTube.com. NOW KNOWN AS XTube_Lance.
    Advertise on XTube.com: Over 5 million uniques/day, 15 million PV/day and 3.2 million members.
    www.XTube.com. P: 416.321.0588, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 301214977, Email: lance[at]xtube[dot]com
    Tags: None
    • who
      So Fucking Banned
      • Aug 2003
      • 19593
      #2
      It's a true story.

        Comment

        • sniperwolf
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Mar 2005
          • 17743
          #3
          you're a gypsy!
          ~Accepting design works~

            Comment

            • XTube_Kurtis
              Confirmed User
              • May 2007
              • 231
              #4
              Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
              on his divorce case.
              "Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
              is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
              proclaimed the judge.
              "But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
              she was fucking Goofy!"
              Give Your Monkey Some Luvin'

              Kurtis Potec, Director Of Operations, XTube.com
              Advertise on XTube.com P: 416.915.2133, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 376-447-088
              Wanna Be An Amateur Model? Email Me: [email protected] and I'll Hook You Up!

                Comment

                • Jimmy Rock
                  Confirmed User
                  • Feb 2005
                  • 3055
                  #5
                  Haha I love that one!
                  Jimmy Rock | ICQ: 285 748 329
                  [email protected]

                    Comment

                    • cooluks
                      Registered User
                      • Jun 2007
                      • 125
                      #6
                      Nice and simple joke...

                      It means the guy is mad with his wife...
                      Gay Sex Encounters at Gay Arab Stories site

                        Comment

                        • Subtle
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jun 2007
                          • 2005
                          #7
                          Nice and funny jokes!!!

                          Originally posted by who
                          It's a true story.
                          I can not believe it. Give more details.

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                            Comment

                            • carol.prime
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jul 2006
                              • 6960
                              #8
                              so funny...

                              simple and cool stuffs there!!
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                                Comment

                                • Slick
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2001
                                  • 7338
                                  #9
                                  What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ???

                                  "glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"

                                    Comment

                                    • SexualDragon
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Aug 2006
                                      • 3038
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by XTube_Kurtis
                                      Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
                                      on his divorce case.
                                      "Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
                                      is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
                                      proclaimed the judge.
                                      "But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
                                      she was fucking Goofy!"
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                                        Comment

                                        • SykkBoy2
                                          Jesus loves bacon
                                          • Feb 2001
                                          • 19969
                                          #11
                                          What do you do if an elephant eats you?
                                          Run around and around in his stomach until you get all pooped out
                                          Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                                            Comment

                                            • J. Falcon
                                              www.AdultCopywriters.com
                                              • May 2006
                                              • 31587
                                              #12
                                              A drunk walks out of a bar and walks into a tree.

                                              "Ugh, excuse me, sir, didn't see ya there," he says.

                                              He turns around the other way and walks into a another tree.

                                              "Oh! Sorry madame, didn see you."

                                              Again he turns around and walks into a different tree.

                                              "Sorry, young man, didn't meen to bump into ya."

                                              Finally, exhausted and frustrated, he leans against the wall of the bar and says: "Think I'll just wait for the parade to passes through."
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                                                Comment

                                                • Violetta
                                                  Affiliate
                                                  • Jul 2004
                                                  • 28735
                                                  #13
                                                  I love joke threads... bring em on!
                                                  M&A Queen

                                                    Comment

                                                    • lazylurker
                                                      Registered User
                                                      • Jul 2007
                                                      • 3
                                                      #14
                                                      http://sedoparking.com/hotart.com

                                                        Comment

                                                        • axelcat
                                                          Adult Locals
                                                          • Jun 2002
                                                          • 25450
                                                          #15

                                                            Comment

                                                            • J. Falcon
                                                              www.AdultCopywriters.com
                                                              • May 2006
                                                              • 31587
                                                              #16
                                                              There was an old timer who lived in a small Western City all alone with his dog, Bobby. The man loved and was very proud of his dog. The dog loved him, followed him everywhere and was very loyal. The dog, Bobby, could also do quite a few tricks. The Old timer loved his Bobby and Bobby loved his master.


                                                              One day a big city commercial director was driving through the small, dusty town and stopped to get gas. He got into a conversation with one of the employees there, told him that he did commercials and that he was currently looking for a cute, smart dog for his next commercial. So, obviously, the employee told him about the old timer and his dog.

                                                              When the big shot director got to the old timers house and told him about the commercial, the old man was thrilled!

                                                              "Yes," he said, "Bobby is a very smart dog. Bobby! Come here!"

                                                              The dog bounced over. The director looked at Bobby. The dog didn't look too smart, but if he could a few cool tricks, it could still work out.

                                                              "What can he do?" The director asked.

                                                              "What can he do?," laughed the old man. "What can't he do you mean!."

                                                              The director was stunned. "Show me," he said.

                                                              The old man man thought for a bit. He saw dollar bills in his mind. He would get rich. He just had to impress this big city dude. Hmm, what could he do?

                                                              "You know what?" The old man said. "This dog is so smart that, if I tell him to, he'll suck you cock!"

                                                              The director was literally speechless. He was about to get up and leave, but decided to stay, just to see if this crazy old man was telling the truth.

                                                              "Bobby" said the old timer, "show that special trick of yours to this nice man."

                                                              Bobby sat still. He didn't move.

                                                              "Come on, Bobby! Do that trick"

                                                              The dog looked dumbly at his master, then at the director.

                                                              "Bobby, do that trick"

                                                              The director grew impatient. "I'm outta here!" He said.

                                                              "Wait, wait!" cried the man. "Bobby! Do the trick."

                                                              No reaction from the dog.

                                                              Finally, angry and imaptient, the old man got on his knees in front of the director's chair, looked at the dog and said: "Okay, Bobby, but this is the last time I show you how it's done."
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                                                                Comment

                                                                • SykkBoy2
                                                                  Jesus loves bacon
                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                  • 19969
                                                                  #17
                                                                  What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

                                                                  Wiped his ass
                                                                  Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • u-Bob
                                                                      there's no $$$ in porn
                                                                      • Jul 2005
                                                                      • 33063
                                                                      #18
                                                                      old but funny

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • Shotoku
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Sep 2006
                                                                          • 904
                                                                          #19


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                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • SykkBoy2
                                                                              Jesus loves bacon
                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                              • 19969
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Why do cannibals hate clowns?

                                                                              They taste funny
                                                                              Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • BaldBishop
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                  • 2115
                                                                                  #21

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • SilentBean
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                                                      • 1146
                                                                                      #22

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                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Freaky_Akula
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Oct 2005
                                                                                          • 3670
                                                                                          #23

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • MrCain
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Jun 2006
                                                                                              • 3332
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              LMAO
                                                                                              Sigmund

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • respect
                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                  • Nov 2005
                                                                                                  • 18399
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  thanks

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Brother Bilo
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jun 2007
                                                                                                      • 4193
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?























                                                                                                      Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • amandaspost
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Aug 2004
                                                                                                          • 1935
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          haha
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                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • woj
                                                                                                              <&(©¿©)&>
                                                                                                              • Jul 2002
                                                                                                              • 47880
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              some good ones here
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                                                                                                                • shekinah
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • May 2006
                                                                                                                  • 8452
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Jokes make my day a happy day!

                                                                                                                  [Web Design | Development | Programming | Content Writing ]
                                                                                                                  ICQ: 238-890-469

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • WalkerTR
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Jun 2006
                                                                                                                      • 1646
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      LMAO

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                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • Nicolas
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                          • 1497
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          hehe


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                                                                                                                            • XTube_Kurtis
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • May 2007
                                                                                                                              • 231
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Superman is on his way to a large reunion of superheroes being
                                                                                                                              held in Miami Beach. He arrives two hours late; his
                                                                                                                              clothes are a mess and he has definitely been in a fight. As he
                                                                                                                              approaches his table, his good friend Batman yells, "Hey, Man of Steel,
                                                                                                                              what happened to you?"
                                                                                                                              "Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I was zipping along the
                                                                                                                              coastline, making great time, when suddenly I look down and there, lying
                                                                                                                              naked on the Jacksonville beach, was Wonder Woman!"
                                                                                                                              "Wow!" says Robin. "What did you do?"
                                                                                                                              "What do you think I did, kid? Her legs were spread, so I figured I
                                                                                                                              was in like Flynn. I dove down like an eagle and jumped her bones!"
                                                                                                                              "Boy, I bet she was surprised," said Batman.
                                                                                                                              Superman smiles weakly and says, "Yeah, she was; but not as
                                                                                                                              surprised as the Invisible Man was."
                                                                                                                              Give Your Monkey Some Luvin'

                                                                                                                              Kurtis Potec, Director Of Operations, XTube.com
                                                                                                                              Advertise on XTube.com P: 416.915.2133, F: 416.913.4212, ICQ: 376-447-088
                                                                                                                              Wanna Be An Amateur Model? Email Me: [email protected] and I'll Hook You Up!

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • SpacemanSpiff
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                                                                                                  • 230
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
                                                                                                                                  over at him and asks the question.



                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"



                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Of course I do."



                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "You would?" ( hurt look)

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Sure. It's a great house."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Probably. It is almost new."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "No. I'm sure she'd want her own."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?"



                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "Yes. Those are always good times."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?"

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: "No. She's left-handed."

                                                                                                                                  WIFE: - Silence -

                                                                                                                                  HUSBAND: ...."Shit."
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                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Shocking
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2006
                                                                                                                                      • 523
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      More jokes please... more jokes
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                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • Farang
                                                                                                                                          one sick puppy
                                                                                                                                          • Oct 2004
                                                                                                                                          • 11713
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by XTube_Kurtis
                                                                                                                                          Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
                                                                                                                                          on his divorce case.
                                                                                                                                          "Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
                                                                                                                                          is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
                                                                                                                                          proclaimed the judge.
                                                                                                                                          "But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
                                                                                                                                          she was fucking Goofy!"
                                                                                                                                          that's a good one, thanks
                                                                                                                                          fbm

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • tranza
                                                                                                                                              ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                                                                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                              • 57559
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by cooluks
                                                                                                                                              Nice and simple joke...

                                                                                                                                              It means the guy is mad with his wife...
                                                                                                                                              LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

                                                                                                                                              Are you for real????
                                                                                                                                              I'm just a newbie.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • KILL_FRENZY
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                                  • 6184
                                                                                                                                                  #37

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                                                                                                                                                    • Triple10Terry
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                      • 1024
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers!


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                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • tranza
                                                                                                                                                          ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 57559
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by TD_Triple10
                                                                                                                                                          A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers!
                                                                                                                                                          Lololololololololololololol!!!!

                                                                                                                                                          I'm just a newbie.

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • swoop
                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                              • Oct 2003
                                                                                                                                                              • 3903
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              the drunk guy joke was good
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                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • Fresh
                                                                                                                                                                  TubeClicks.com - First Tube Affiliate Program
                                                                                                                                                                  • Mar 2005
                                                                                                                                                                  • 4920
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Slick
                                                                                                                                                                  What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ???

                                                                                                                                                                  "glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"


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                                                                                                                                                                    • Axarsys
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                      • 323
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Mr. Fly and Ms. Elephant were married. As Fly flies around his wife he decides he wants some anal so he flies behind the elephant, enters it's orifice and starts banging its organ on the walls. Naturally the elephant doesn't feel a thing and after a while it farts and walks on. And Fly goes: "Damn hurricane, it even took the woman from my dick!"

                                                                                                                                                                      Of the top of my head, I'll think of something better.

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                        • J. Falcon
                                                                                                                                                                          www.AdultCopywriters.com
                                                                                                                                                                          • May 2006
                                                                                                                                                                          • 31587
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by swoop
                                                                                                                                                                          the drunk guy joke was good
                                                                                                                                                                          Thanks
                                                                                                                                                                          Adult Copywriters



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                                                                                                                                                                            • Axarsys
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                              • 323
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              The police officer: "How could you murder your entire household with such brutality?!"
                                                                                                                                                                              The man in the interrogation chair: "I entered the house, I killed them all, I exited, entered the house, killed all, and went like that from house to house until I reached MY house"

                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                • ProducerCashDave
                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2006
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 3983
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  funny thread
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