Joke Time!
 

A man walks in his front door and yells
"Honey, we won the lottery, pack your bags"

she replies "That's great where to?"

"I don't care just pack em and get out."

It's a true story.

:winkwink: you're a gypsy! :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict
on his divorce case.
"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she
is crazy, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent,"
proclaimed the judge.
"But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said
she was fucking Goofy!"

Haha I love that one!

Nice and simple joke...

It means the guy is mad with his wife...:1orglaugh

Nice and funny jokes!!!

I can not believe it. Give more details.

so funny...

simple and cool stuffs there!!

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball ???

"glugguuuuggaaaahhahaggaahhhhh......"

:thumbsup:1orglaugh:thumbsup

What do you do if an elephant eats you?
Run around and around in his stomach until you get all pooped out

A drunk walks out of a bar and walks into a tree.

"Ugh, excuse me, sir, didn't see ya there," he says.

He turns around the other way and walks into a another tree.

"Oh! Sorry madame, didn see you."

Again he turns around and walks into a different tree.

"Sorry, young man, didn't meen to bump into ya."

Finally, exhausted and frustrated, he leans against the wall of the bar and says: "Think I'll just wait for the parade to passes through."

I love joke threads... bring em on! :)

:thumbsup

:1orglaugh

There was an old timer who lived in a small Western City all alone with his dog, Bobby. The man loved and was very proud of his dog. The dog loved him, followed him everywhere and was very loyal. The dog, Bobby, could also do quite a few tricks. The Old timer loved his Bobby and Bobby loved his master.


One day a big city commercial director was driving through the small, dusty town and stopped to get gas. He got into a conversation with one of the employees there, told him that he did commercials and that he was currently looking for a cute, smart dog for his next commercial. So, obviously, the employee told him about the old timer and his dog.

When the big shot director got to the old timers house and told him about the commercial, the old man was thrilled!

"Yes," he said, "Bobby is a very smart dog. Bobby! Come here!"

The dog bounced over. The director looked at Bobby. The dog didn't look too smart, but if he could a few cool tricks, it could still work out.

"What can he do?" The director asked.

"What can he do?," laughed the old man. "What can't he do you mean!."

The director was stunned. "Show me," he said.

The old man man thought for a bit. He saw dollar bills in his mind. He would get rich. He just had to impress this big city dude. Hmm, what could he do?

"You know what?" The old man said. "This dog is so smart that, if I tell him to, he'll suck you cock!"

The director was literally speechless. He was about to get up and leave, but decided to stay, just to see if this crazy old man was telling the truth.

"Bobby" said the old timer, "show that special trick of yours to this nice man."

Bobby sat still. He didn't move.

"Come on, Bobby! Do that trick"

The dog looked dumbly at his master, then at the director.

"Bobby, do that trick"

The director grew impatient. "I'm outta here!" He said.

"Wait, wait!" cried the man. "Bobby! Do the trick."

No reaction from the dog.

Finally, angry and imaptient, the old man got on his knees in front of the director's chair, looked at the dog and said: "Okay, Bobby, but this is the last time I show you how it's done."

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass

old but funny :)

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Why do cannibals hate clowns?

They taste funny

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

LMAO :1orglaugh

thanks :1orglaugh

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?























Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

haha :1orglaugh

some good ones here :thumbsup :1orglaugh

Jokes make my day a happy day!:thumbsup

LMAO :1orglaugh

hehe :1orglaugh

Superman is on his way to a large reunion of superheroes being
held in Miami Beach. He arrives two hours late; his
clothes are a mess and he has definitely been in a fight. As he
approaches his table, his good friend Batman yells, "Hey, Man of Steel,
what happened to you?"
"Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I was zipping along the
coastline, making great time, when suddenly I look down and there, lying
naked on the Jacksonville beach, was Wonder Woman!"
"Wow!" says Robin. "What did you do?"
"What do you think I did, kid? Her legs were spread, so I figured I
was in like Flynn. I dove down like an eagle and jumped her bones!"
"Boy, I bet she was surprised," said Batman.
Superman smiles weakly and says, "Yeah, she was; but not as
surprised as the Invisible Man was."

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question.



WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"



HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."



WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" ( hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure. It's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably. It is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No. I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?"



HUSBAND: "Yes. Those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No. She's left-handed."

WIFE: - Silence -

HUSBAND: ...."Shit."

More jokes please... more jokes

that's a good one, thanks :1orglaugh

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

Are you for real????

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

A man says to his wife: tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife says: your dick is bigger than your brothers!

Lololololololololololololol!!!!

:thumbsup:thumbsup

the drunk guy joke was good

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Mr. Fly and Ms. Elephant were married. As Fly flies around his wife he decides he wants some anal so he flies behind the elephant, enters it's orifice and starts banging its organ on the walls. Naturally the elephant doesn't feel a thing and after a while it farts and walks on. And Fly goes: "Damn hurricane, it even took the woman from my dick!"

Of the top of my head, I'll think of something better.

Thanks :thumbsup

The police officer: "How could you murder your entire household with such brutality?!"
The man in the interrogation chair: "I entered the house, I killed them all, I exited, entered the house, killed all, and went like that from house to house until I reached MY house"

funny thread