Best comeback line ever - GoFuckYourself.com

stickyfingerz · 06-09-2007, 02:24 PM

Found this on one of my old forums. I posted it in october 2005 Forgot all about it, so I actually got a laugh re reading it.

his was in the Washington Post...(supposedly)
The title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male,
resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m.on Friday. Lawrence
will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a
phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of
the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. "I guess I was
just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said
officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at
this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I
just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?

The Walrus · 06-09-2007, 02:29 PM

Is anyone really going to read this shit?

stickyfingerz · 06-09-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Walrus

Is anyone really going to read this shit?

Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...

Snake Doctor · 06-09-2007, 02:31 PM

haha, priceless

The Walrus · 06-09-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stickyfingerz

Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...

Yes. No. Yes. No.

XPays · 06-09-2007, 02:32 PM

"yeah, well the jerkstore called and they're running out of you" costanza

PinPine · 06-09-2007, 02:40 PM

Good one :P didn't see it coming

Jarmusch · 06-09-2007, 02:41 PM

I see more than 1 line there.

Cliff's notes?

BucksMania · 06-09-2007, 02:43 PM

haha, pretty funny

BucksMania · 06-09-2007, 02:45 PM

this reminds me for a story from a few years ago
i was in another city and looking for a club called "THE MATRIX"
i just asked a random man on the street
- Excuse me, do you know where is the matrix?
and he said:
- The matrix? Its everywhere!!!!

06-09-2007, 02:24 PM	#1
stickyfingerz Doin fine Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 24,984	Best comeback line ever Found this on one of my old forums. I posted it in october 2005 Forgot all about it, so I actually got a laugh re reading it. his was in the Washington Post...(supposedly) The title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m.on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?

06-09-2007, 02:32 PM	#6
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06-09-2007, 02:40 PM	#7
PinPine Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 385	Good one :P didn't see it coming __________________ ICQ: 490974172 Looking for hardlink trades: www.solidteens.com/linkex/

06-09-2007, 02:29 PM	#2
The Walrus So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 898	Is anyone really going to read this shit?

06-09-2007, 02:31 PM	#4
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	haha, priceless

06-09-2007, 02:41 PM	#8
Jarmusch Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 12,464	I see more than 1 line there. Cliff's notes?

06-09-2007, 02:43 PM	#9
BucksMania Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 3,758	haha, pretty funny

06-09-2007, 02:45 PM	#10
BucksMania Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 3,758	this reminds me for a story from a few years ago i was in another city and looking for a club called "THE MATRIX" i just asked a random man on the street - Excuse me, do you know where is the matrix? and he said: - The matrix? Its everywhere!!!!