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-   -   Best comeback line ever (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=741142)

stickyfingerz 06-09-2007 02:24 PM

Best comeback line ever
 
Found this on one of my old forums. I posted it in october 2005 Forgot all about it, so I actually got a laugh re reading it.


his was in the Washington Post...(supposedly)
The title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male,
resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m.on Friday. Lawrence
will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a
phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of
the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. "I guess I was
just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said
officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at
this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I
just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?

The Walrus 06-09-2007 02:29 PM

Is anyone really going to read this shit? :1orglaugh

stickyfingerz 06-09-2007 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Walrus (Post 12573512)
Is anyone really going to read this shit? :1orglaugh

Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...

Snake Doctor 06-09-2007 02:31 PM

haha, priceless

The Walrus 06-09-2007 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stickyfingerz (Post 12573519)
Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...

Yes. No. Yes. No.

XPays 06-09-2007 02:32 PM

"yeah, well the jerkstore called and they're running out of you" costanza

PinPine 06-09-2007 02:40 PM

Good one :P didn't see it coming

Jarmusch 06-09-2007 02:41 PM

I see more than 1 line there.

Cliff's notes?

BucksMania 06-09-2007 02:43 PM

haha, pretty funny

BucksMania 06-09-2007 02:45 PM

this reminds me for a story from a few years ago
i was in another city and looking for a club called "THE MATRIX"
i just asked a random man on the street
- Excuse me, do you know where is the matrix?
and he said:
- The matrix? Its everywhere!!!!


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