Best comeback line ever

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  • stickyfingerz
    Doin fine
    • Oct 2005
    • 24984

    #1

    Best comeback line ever

    Found this on one of my old forums. I posted it in october 2005 Forgot all about it, so I actually got a laugh re reading it.


    his was in the Washington Post...(supposedly)
    The title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

    In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male,
    resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m.on Friday. Lawrence
    will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
    public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
    stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
    around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a
    phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of
    the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,
    cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. "I guess I was
    just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
    police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
    Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said
    officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at
    this pumpkin."

    Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I
    just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
    screwing a pumpkin?'

    He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
    straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?
  • The Walrus
    So Fucking Banned
    • Mar 2007
    • 898

    #2
    Is anyone really going to read this shit?

    Comment

    • stickyfingerz
      Doin fine
      • Oct 2005
      • 24984

      #3
      Originally posted by The Walrus
      Is anyone really going to read this shit?
      Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...

      Comment

      • Snake Doctor
        I'm Lenny2 Bitch
        • Mar 2001
        • 13449

        #4
        haha, priceless
        sig too big

        Comment

        • The Walrus
          So Fucking Banned
          • Mar 2007
          • 898

          #5
          Originally posted by stickyfingerz
          Didnt expect you to. That 5 paragraphs is rough...
          Yes. No. Yes. No.

          Comment

          • XPays
            Team Player
            • May 2004
            • 13002

            #6
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            Comment

            • PinPine
              Confirmed User
              • Mar 2007
              • 385

              #7
              Good one :P didn't see it coming
              ICQ: 490974172
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              Comment

              • Jarmusch
                 
                • May 2003
                • 12479

                #8
                I see more than 1 line there.

                Cliff's notes?

                Comment

                • BucksMania
                  Confirmed User
                  • Oct 2005
                  • 3758

                  #9
                  haha, pretty funny

                  Comment

                  • BucksMania
                    Confirmed User
                    • Oct 2005
                    • 3758

                    #10
                    this reminds me for a story from a few years ago
                    i was in another city and looking for a club called "THE MATRIX"
                    i just asked a random man on the street
                    - Excuse me, do you know where is the matrix?
                    and he said:
                    - The matrix? Its everywhere!!!!

                    Comment

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