A man's guide to asking for a raise - GoFuckYourself.com

hdcrltr1 · 08-21-2002, 01:40 PM

Of course, this does not apply to me given my new employment in Guam. What a gig! Unfortunately, about 5 of you will get that joke

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp
environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

>****************************************

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the
following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the work place carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management

Cheshire · 08-21-2002, 04:05 PM

You're One Sick Puppy

Dildozer · 08-21-2002, 04:16 PM

hahaha funny

08-21-2002, 01:40 PM	#1
hdcrltr1 Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: The 9th Circle of Hell Posts: 24	A man's guide to asking for a raise Of course, this does not apply to me given my new employment in Guam. What a gig! Unfortunately, about 5 of you will get that joke I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. >**************************************** Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, The Management

08-21-2002, 04:05 PM	#2
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	You're One Sick Puppy __________________ just a little bit naughty

08-21-2002, 04:16 PM	#3
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	hahaha funny __________________ Spam link here