If Christianity was a program, how would it convert? - GoFuckYourself.com

Machete_ · 10-11-2006, 06:11 AM

I would charge-back as soon as I had seen the member section for sure, but how well do you think it converts? How many charge-backs? how well does it do with the different traffic sources?

What converts best? TV ads or knocking on doors?
Is it the Personal relations, the product, the design or the long-term benefits that makes it convert?

Tell you what I think would have worked better for the church. If they had promised people who followed their rules they would help making the world a better place, instead of telling them that they would go to a place in the sky filled with small angels floating on clouds AFTER they died - they MIGHT had been able to sell more memberships.

Fuck it, I'm gonna invent a diet program people can follow now, and in return I promise them a slim and fit bony in the NEXT life.

Manowar · 10-11-2006, 06:11 AM

Jesus Shaves

escorpio · 10-11-2006, 06:16 AM

Brand awareness is excellent but most people have been put off by the hardsell tactics of many Jesus salesman. The best way to convert Jesus is with a soft-sell approach. You have to let the buyer think it was their idea to buy into Jesus.

fallenmuffin · 10-11-2006, 06:16 AM

It would convert really good even after years and years of being saturated. Though rebills are very unlikey and should only be pushed on a PPS bases.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ICP

Would you like to healed, little Jonathan? (yes, reverand).
You see brothers and sisters, this...(beep-beep beep-beep)
Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes?
Uh-huh. Hallalujah. Outty. People, that was the lord, today only,
he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!

directfiesta · 10-11-2006, 07:23 AM

answer:

by the sword.

jayeff · 10-11-2006, 07:29 AM

It would sell very well, so long as you played down that pussy christianity stuff and sold it on the promise of good old-fashioned hell and damnation to all the faggots, loose wimmen, anyone outside the US (and a fair few inside)...

10-11-2006, 06:11 AM	#1
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	If Christianity was a program, how would it convert? I would charge-back as soon as I had seen the member section for sure, but how well do you think it converts? How many charge-backs? how well does it do with the different traffic sources? What converts best? TV ads or knocking on doors? Is it the Personal relations, the product, the design or the long-term benefits that makes it convert? Tell you what I think would have worked better for the church. If they had promised people who followed their rules they would help making the world a better place, instead of telling them that they would go to a place in the sky filled with small angels floating on clouds AFTER they died - they MIGHT had been able to sell more memberships. Fuck it, I'm gonna invent a diet program people can follow now, and in return I promise them a slim and fit bony in the NEXT life.

10-11-2006, 06:16 AM	#3
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,358	Brand awareness is excellent but most people have been put off by the hardsell tactics of many Jesus salesman. The best way to convert Jesus is with a soft-sell approach. You have to let the buyer think it was their idea to buy into Jesus. __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

10-11-2006, 07:23 AM	#5
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Punta Cana, DR Posts: 29,926	answer: by the sword. __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

10-11-2006, 06:11 AM	#2
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	Jesus Shaves

10-11-2006, 07:29 AM	#6
jayeff Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 2,944	It would sell very well, so long as you played down that pussy christianity stuff and sold it on the promise of good old-fashioned hell and damnation to all the faggots, loose wimmen, anyone outside the US (and a fair few inside)...