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Old 08-27-2006, 08:08 PM   #1
Grapesoda
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red neck joke

A small zoo in Tennessee obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a beautiful female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available any where in the area.

Thinking about their problem, the zoo keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500?

Bobby Lee showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day he announced that he would accept their offer but only under four conditions.

"First," Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second," he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist" Once again, it was agreed.

"And lastly", Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500."
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Old 08-28-2006, 03:45 AM   #2
coinzblow
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:]....llll
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:03 AM   #3
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ummmmmmmmmm
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:08 AM   #4
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:14 AM   #5
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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?

A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

Q: What's the Rednecks most popular pick up line?

A: Nice tooth!

***

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

***

A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane. The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?" The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

***

Q: How do you know when your staying in a Redneck hotel?

A: When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."

Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?

A: There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: What is a Redneck's defense in court?

A: "Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?

A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

ADG Webmaster
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:54 AM   #6
Grapesoda
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?

A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

Q: What's the Rednecks most popular pick up line?

A: Nice tooth!

***

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

***

A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane. The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?" The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

***

Q: How do you know when your staying in a Redneck hotel?

A: When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."

Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?

A: There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: What is a Redneck's defense in court?

A: "Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?

A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

ADG Webmaster
yikes!!!
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:46 PM   #7
shake
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Few good ones in there
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:48 PM   #8
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thats too funny
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:53 PM   #9
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Some of those made me miss home
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:01 PM   #10
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Ha! Funny. Thanx.
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:02 PM   #11
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