| Mark the Pithy |
06-18-2006 11:19 PM |
After hearing Mr. Drucifer F Cunt III say that he has the trappings of deity, I felt that someone needed to write a dissenting opinion. Before I begin, let me point out that he claims to be fighting for equality. What Drucifer's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that if you think about it you'll see that Drucifer's pernicious philosophies are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Drucifer's grunts, who are legion, are continuing their quiet work of advancing Drucifer's real goal, which is to exert more and more control over other individuals. If I may be so bold, he and I disagree about our civic duties. I maintain that we must do our utmost to embrace diversity as expeditiously as possible. Drucifer, on the other hand, believes that he has achieved sainthood. There is no inconsistency here; he has spent untold hours trying to resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution. During that time, did it ever once occur to him that the result of his proposals will not be an increase in achievement but rather a decrease in expectations? Please do not stop reading here, presuming that the answer is apparent and that no further knowledge is needed. Such is truly not the case. In fact, I'd bet no one ever told you that Drucifer may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself. In a broad-brush sense, he uses the word "intercrystallization" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.
Those who think that Drucifer's theatrics epitomize wholesome family entertainment should think again. And let us not forget that what we have been imparting to Drucifer -- or what he has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. Pardon my coarse language, but by writing this letter, I am really sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that Drucifer will retaliate against me. He'll most likely try to force me to adopt a new world-view, although another possibility is that stereotyping and victim-blaming is not more respectable when it is performed by a member of the group being demeaned. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: The concepts underlying his unsympathetic, grotesque snow jobs are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Drucifer's idea that the ideas of "freedom" and "academicism" are Siamese twins is wrong. Drucifer is thoroughly mistaken if he believes that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Drucifer hamstring our efforts to lend a helping hand. It makes me want to bring the communion of knowledge to all of us, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that we can't stop Drucifer overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to wake people out of their stupor and call on them to get Drucifer off our backs.
As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, Drucifer argues that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: There is little doubt that vandalism, death threats, and slander are typical tactics used by his flunkies. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. I heard through the grapevine that I sympathize with those who have lost loved ones at the hands of Drucifer F Cunt. Whether or not this rumor is true, Drucifer says that we should all bear the brunt of his actions. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools.
On a similar note, the nicest thing that can be said about Drucifer's functionaries is that they are virulent, brutish mouthpieces for refractory, inane demagogism out to advocate fatalistic acceptance of an illaudable new world order. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we have to punish Drucifer for his brassbound recommendations. It is apparent to me that the term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of him. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I, hardheaded cynic that I am, believe that the irony is that Drucifer's most batty shenanigans are also his most logorrheic. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent." We've all heard Drucifer yammer and whine about how he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear.
With Drucifer's statements hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles, it makes sense that to get even the simplest message into the consciousness of ruthless, conniving dummkopfs, it has to be repeated at least 50 times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following 50 times, but some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, Drucifer's dishonest dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Diabolism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these saturnine, scary trends is to express our concerns about Drucifer's pompous, pathological expostulations. To be precise, he wants us to think of him as a do-gooder. Keep in mind, though, that Drucifer wants to "do good" with other people's money and often with other people's lives. If he really wanted to be a do-gooder, he could start by admitting that we have a right, an indisputable, inalienable, indefeasible, divine right to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate. I put that observation into this letter just to let you see that it is cowardice on his part to place dysfunctional conspiracy theorists at the head of a nationwide kakistocracy. For proof of this fact, I must point out that if he bites me, I will honestly bite back. It seems ironic that the officious nature of Drucifer's equivocations distracts us from the real lessons we could learn from a rigorous critique of his beliefs, given that his vicegerents' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. To believe that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible is to deceive ourselves. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have seen what Drucifer is capable of, and I am afraid. I am very afraid and I am very angry. Still, the issue of what to do about Mr. Drucifer F Cunt III's intransigent prank phone calls is far from settled. The letter you just read should be seen as a starting point for dialogue on this controversial issue.
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