SapphicCash Announces LifeTime Cookies - We've Killed the CookieMonster! - GoFuckYourself.com

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 09:19 AM

SapphicCash now offers Lifetime Cookies on all ref links. This means you get credit for all sales with no time limitations.

But this wasn't easy. It took cunning, manipulation, 6 bags of Oreos, 12 shots, one bottle of Everclear and 2 bottles of Jägermeister. We can now say without a shadow of a doubt that the Cookie Monster is dead.

We did some research and found out that our "friend" has some drinking problems.

I got a hold of this mugshot from a DUI charge back on '03

So, armed with this knowledge and knowing our enemie's weakness, we set out to do away once and for all this industry menace which ate everyone's cookies after a week, month and sometimes even days.

We didn't know what we were getting into, though. I invited him out to a local bar here in Ft. Lauderdale - I won't name the place as I don't want to incriminate myself or anyone else involved. We bought him a few shots to get the party started, and the first thing I noticed was that mr. Monster was quite an asshole. He slammed the bar counter several times, whistling at the wait staff, pinching bottoms and spilling drinks. After about his 4th shot of whiskey, he began telling stories about all the sordid details that went on behind the scenes of Sesame Street. The drugs, sex and mayhem would one day make for a great VH1 special.

I knew I had to get him out of there when he began to stomp around on the bar thumping his chest and declaring:
"I ain't no damn smurf".

I promised him we were heading to a wicked afterparty complete with strippers and Mrs. Field's cookies. He was quite excited, but really could only mumble since he had drunk so much. Last count was 12 shots of assorted spirits.

When we arrived he was presented with a soft cookie of the Keebler kind and a bottle of everclear. Everyone was amazed when he began dipping his cookies in his booze. This cat was H A R D C O R E.

I tried my best to keep up, but knew I needed to stay sober, when he put the bottle of deathjuice away, his eyes actually stood still for once and he looked directly at me. He now seemed to have a clear understanding of my intention. He began to scream "You motherfu..." and then swayed dramatically before falling over. He stopped breathing. It was over and we were almost free.

After our escape, I had a friend from CSI Miami (a little redhaired fag you may know as Heratio) send me a copy of the crime scene photo. Here it is:

So there you have it, thanks to SapphicCash Cookies are now no longer a problem. I can see many other programs following suit, since, well, this blue menace is no longer a problem.

Oh yeah, and thank god the intraweb is anonymous, because this is actually like, evidence if you guys knew who I was, right?

** and just to clarify; this means all cookies are set to expire in 30 years, but are over-writeable. Thanks, Cookie Monster.

Just_Dave · 05-18-2006, 09:19 AM

good stuff guys , what a great program

Juilan · 05-18-2006, 09:22 AM

Kudos for a laugh my ass off post and clear representation of cookie settings by a sponsor.

mOrrI · 05-18-2006, 09:44 AM

Great Inovation :D Congrats :D

Odie · 05-18-2006, 10:06 AM

omg that is so cute!!! but great!!!

good job guys!! btw, was great meeting you finally last week!

Well Dunn · 05-18-2006, 10:18 AM

thats how, lifetime cookies rock

RobbieRye · 05-18-2006, 10:36 AM

LMAO - great promo post.

For a program that already converts very well, it's crazy to hear that you're offering lifetime cookies. Wow - great stuff.

RuthB · 05-18-2006, 10:43 AM

RIP Cookie Monster! You lived a good long life and died hard and fast, best way to go!

great post luv$!

Halcyon · 05-18-2006, 10:57 AM

ha ha ha. awesome

CaptainWolfy · 05-18-2006, 11:11 AM

Congrats

CynthiaB · 05-18-2006, 11:14 AM

Between that and no min. payouts - Sapphic Cash is leading the way. Nice, guys and gals.

Cyn

lesbodojo · 05-18-2006, 11:15 AM

This is kick ass!

The Ghost · 05-18-2006, 11:26 AM

.... great post

Marshal · 05-18-2006, 11:35 AM

this is awesome!

Vitasoy · 05-18-2006, 11:40 AM

hehe sweet tunes to my ears, nice job.

Konda · 05-18-2006, 11:53 AM

1. programs shouldnt rely soley on cookies, it should be backed up at least by IP tracking with a database
2. the length of a cookie doesn't mean jack shit. A program can easally add something to the source of the join form like "if cookie = over 1 week old, ignore the cookie".

Not saying that you do, just saying that the lenght of the cookie doesn't mean anything.

iWeb_Kristin · 05-18-2006, 12:17 PM

Congratulations!!! Keep it up!!!

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 12:47 PM

Thanks sooooo much to everyone for the props; I'm glad you found it fun and a good bonus to our program!

Odie, great meeting you too finally!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konda

1. programs shouldnt rely soley on cookies, it should be backed up at least by IP tracking with a database
2. the length of a cookie doesn't mean jack shit. A program can easally add something to the source of the join form like "if cookie = over 1 week old, ignore the cookie".

Not saying that you do, just saying that the lenght of the cookie doesn't mean anything.

Good points there Konda, thing is though that we take great measures to keep things fair for our affiliates. Of course we also use a number of tracking methods to ensure all affiliates are credited.

We take our time and resources to worry about keeping these things fair so our affiliates can just worry & focus on making money

Of course, you could always doublecheck our work by setting a cookie and coming back in 2038 to do a test join :p

madawgz · 05-18-2006, 12:51 PM

thats great!

PR_Dave · 05-18-2006, 01:25 PM

So if webmaster A who owns a 500K a day TGP blindly sends a surfer to a Sapphic site BUT doesn't close the sale and webmaster B one month later with highly tuned ads does close that same surfer.

Webmaster A gets the credit?

If so that blows.

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Dave

So if webmaster A who owns a 500K a day TGP blindly sends a surfer to a Sapphic site BUT doesn't close the sale and webmaster B one month later with highly tuned ads does close that same surfer.

Webmaster A gets the credit?

If so that blows.

Nope, that is not correct.

Webmaster B's cookie would overwrite if he closed the deal.

So, no blowing going on here.

PR_Dave · 05-18-2006, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv$

Nope, that is not correct.

Webmaster B's cookie would overwrite if he closed the deal.

So, no blowing going on here.

That is good then.

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PR_Dave

That is good then.

I'm glad you like it.

Konda · 05-18-2006, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv$

Of course, you could always doublecheck our work by setting a cookie and coming back in 2038 to do a test join :p

I trust you ;-)

I don't hope that I still am working on this PC in 2038 though

Rui · 05-18-2006, 04:03 PM

LOL creative annoucement ;)

nice going folks!

Choppa · 05-18-2006, 04:05 PM

This is great stuff Luv$

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 05-18-2006, 04:07 PM

that is very cool. I am sure all affiliates will be very happy with that.

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konda

I trust you ;-)

I don't hope that I still am working on this PC in 2038 though

Yeah, it won't matter - by then we'll be in the matrix and keanu will be serving biscuits.

CaptainHowdy · 05-18-2006, 09:32 PM

It wasn't really necessary to call Horatio a fag ;(!

Agent 488 · 05-18-2006, 09:42 PM

bump for a non-idiot company.

luv$ · 05-18-2006, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

It wasn't really necessary to call Horatio a fag ;(!

oh come ON!

And thanks budsbabes

reynold · 05-19-2006, 12:57 AM

congrats on your great promo.

05-18-2006, 09:19 AM	#1
luv$ !$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Paper Street Posts: 6,158	SapphicCash Announces LifeTime Cookies - We've Killed the CookieMonster! SapphicCash now offers Lifetime Cookies on all ref links. This means you get credit for all sales with no time limitations. But this wasn't easy. It took cunning, manipulation, 6 bags of Oreos, 12 shots, one bottle of Everclear and 2 bottles of Jägermeister. We can now say without a shadow of a doubt that the Cookie Monster is dead. We did some research and found out that our "friend" has some drinking problems. I got a hold of this mugshot from a DUI charge back on '03 So, armed with this knowledge and knowing our enemie's weakness, we set out to do away once and for all this industry menace which ate everyone's cookies after a week, month and sometimes even days. We didn't know what we were getting into, though. I invited him out to a local bar here in Ft. Lauderdale - I won't name the place as I don't want to incriminate myself or anyone else involved. We bought him a few shots to get the party started, and the first thing I noticed was that mr. Monster was quite an asshole. He slammed the bar counter several times, whistling at the wait staff, pinching bottoms and spilling drinks. After about his 4th shot of whiskey, he began telling stories about all the sordid details that went on behind the scenes of Sesame Street. The drugs, sex and mayhem would one day make for a great VH1 special. I knew I had to get him out of there when he began to stomp around on the bar thumping his chest and declaring: *"I ain't no damn smurf". I promised him we were heading to a wicked afterparty complete with strippers and Mrs. Field's cookies. He was quite excited, but really could only mumble since he had drunk so much. Last count was 12 shots of assorted spirits. When we arrived he was presented with a soft cookie of the Keebler kind and a bottle of everclear. Everyone was amazed when he began dipping his cookies in his booze.* This cat was H A R D C O R E. I tried my best to keep up, but knew I needed to stay sober, when he put the bottle of deathjuice away, his eyes actually stood still for once and he looked directly at me. He now seemed to have a clear understanding of my intention. He began to scream "You motherfu..." and then swayed dramatically before falling over. He stopped breathing. It was over and we were almost free. After our escape, I had a friend from CSI Miami (a little redhaired fag you may know as Heratio) send me a copy of the crime scene photo. Here it is: So there you have it, thanks to SapphicCash Cookies are now no longer a problem. I can see many other programs following suit, since, well, this blue menace is no longer a problem. Oh yeah, and thank god the intraweb is anonymous, because this is actually like, evidence if you guys knew who I was, right? and just to clarify; this means all cookies are set to expire in 30 years, but are over-writeable. Thanks, Cookie Monster. __________________ Domain Auction - now till 12:01AM on the 2nd... Paper Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet Cash The Real Workout - Innocent High - Oye Loca - Her Freshman Year - Solo Interviews - This Girl Sucks. HQ Fresh ORIGINAL sites.

05-18-2006, 09:22 AM	#3
Juilan Sultan of Swing Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: XXXodus Posts: 15,141	Kudos for a laugh my ass off post and clear representation of cookie settings by a sponsor. __________________ My Best Converting VOD Sponsor \| Last edited by Juilan; 05-18-2006 at 09:23 AM..

05-18-2006, 09:44 AM	#4
mOrrI It's over there... Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Portugal Posts: 4,212	Great Inovation :D Congrats :D __________________ Get Your Binance Account

05-18-2006, 10:06 AM	#5
Odie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The WATER BABY! Posts: 7,040	omg that is so cute!!! but great!!! good job guys!! btw, was great meeting you finally last week! __________________ Odie [email protected] Are you Mobile???? MMACanada ICQ # 166208354 See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com!

05-18-2006, 10:18 AM	#6
Well Dunn Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 1,026	thats how, lifetime cookies rock __________________ ICQ: 471859252 Mailers! ICQ me I want your traffic!!!! We will pay daily, weekly, monthly, WHATEVER! Just contact me and we will get you paid!

05-18-2006, 09:19 AM	#2
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009	good stuff guys , what a great program

05-18-2006, 10:36 AM	#7
RobbieRye Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The Middle of Nowhere Posts: 616	LMAO - great promo post. For a program that already converts very well, it's crazy to hear that you're offering lifetime cookies. Wow - great stuff.

05-18-2006, 10:43 AM	#8
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	RIP Cookie Monster! You lived a good long life and died hard and fast, best way to go! great post luv$! __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

05-18-2006, 10:57 AM	#9
Halcyon Spread The Pink! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: TrampStampStudios.com Posts: 8,609	ha ha ha. awesome __________________ HAL on TEDx:

05-18-2006, 11:11 AM	#10
CaptainWolfy Playa Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere on the Earth Posts: 8,439	Congrats

05-18-2006, 11:14 AM	#11
CynthiaB Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The OC Posts: 1,274	Between that and no min. payouts - Sapphic Cash is leading the way. Nice, guys and gals. Cyn

05-18-2006, 11:15 AM	#12
lesbodojo Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: San Francisco Posts: 2,839	This is kick ass! __________________ Adult DVDs + Amateur Video Mobile Porn (iPad, Android, iPhone, + Palm Pre) Promote SkinVideo! Payoneer Payouts Available! Let's talk! icq 328.047.782 aim/yim/skype: lesbodojo or lesbodojo at skinvideo dot com

05-18-2006, 11:26 AM	#13
The Ghost IslandDollars.com Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Icq: 176176 Posts: 12,188	.... great post __________________ ISLAND DOLLARS 1000's of Exclusive TS scenes / Constant Updates Best TS Network your surfers will ever join

05-18-2006, 11:35 AM	#14
Marshal Biz Dev and SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 15,180	this is awesome! __________________ --- Busy ranking websites on Google...

05-18-2006, 11:40 AM	#15
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	hehe sweet tunes to my ears, nice job. __________________ [email protected]

05-18-2006, 11:53 AM	#16
Konda ... Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 2,280	1. programs shouldnt rely soley on cookies, it should be backed up at least by IP tracking with a database 2. the length of a cookie doesn't mean jack shit. A program can easally add something to the source of the join form like "if cookie = over 1 week old, ignore the cookie". Not saying that you do, just saying that the lenght of the cookie doesn't mean anything. Last edited by Konda; 05-18-2006 at 11:55 AM..

05-18-2006, 12:17 PM	#17
iWeb_Kristin Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: manila, philippines Posts: 116	Congratulations!!! Keep it up!!! __________________ Kristin Sarmiento [email protected] ICQ: 222702135 404-474-2357 or 1-866-437-7795 Offshore Staff Leasing Services

05-18-2006, 12:51 PM	#19
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	thats great! __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

05-18-2006, 01:25 PM	#20
PR_Dave Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Italy Posts: 2,792	So if webmaster A who owns a 500K a day TGP blindly sends a surfer to a Sapphic site BUT doesn't close the sale and webmaster B one month later with highly tuned ads does close that same surfer. Webmaster A gets the credit? If so that blows. __________________ www.PIMPROLL.com

05-18-2006, 04:03 PM	#25
Rui web Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: On icq: 85-483-060 Posts: 9,533	LOL creative annoucement ;) nice going folks!

05-18-2006, 04:05 PM	#26
Choppa Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Webmasters send sexyads.com your dating traffic and live the webmaster dream!! sexyads.com = $$$$$$$$$$ Sexyads adult personals at their greatest since 1997 Earn $$$$$$ today and become one of the thousands of Sexyads Affiliates Posts: 4,079	This is great stuff Luv$ __________________ SexyAds: 10 years in business and still going strong. Become an affiliate today! Choppas ICQ: 283 090 747 Want to know more? [email protected]

05-18-2006, 04:07 PM	#27
Mr.Right - Banned For Life I guarantee it Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 18,314	that is very cool. I am sure all affiliates will be very happy with that.

05-18-2006, 09:32 PM	#29
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,575	It wasn't really necessary to call Horatio a fag ;(!

05-18-2006, 09:42 PM	#30
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	bump for a non-idiot company.

05-19-2006, 12:57 AM	#32
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	congrats on your great promo.