For those who have ever asked "Am I gay if I...." This is for you: - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 12:04 PM

Take the Brokeback Mountain self-test:

Brokeback Mountain Self Test

1) If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-up, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2) If you have a cat, you are a FlaaaAAming Homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... Killer, come here! I said get your a$$ over here, Killer. Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-Bun, come to daddy, sookums!" Jeezus, you're fit to be framed you're so gay.

3) If you suck on lollipops, ring pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or TITS. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko, and undeniably a fag.

4) If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom, or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A mans world is his bathroom, he defacates and urinates where he pleases.

5) If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full of aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "decaf Cafe Latte with Skim", and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you have had Nutra Sweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too.

6) If you know more than six names of colors, or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have the memory space to remember all that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major Leagues, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out Chartreuse or know what a "fressier" is you are gay, and if you can name any type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7) If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow assed driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8) If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous c'est le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward a man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous Homosexual Combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too.

Shit, the last part of #5, the part about artificial sweeteners, killed me. I've used them.

DAmn, I was so hoping to not be gay.

RuthB · 04-18-2006, 12:12 PM

Hahahaha.. where did you find this? That's funny!

Jakke PNG · 04-18-2006, 12:21 PM

Shit. I'm gay.
I know a lot of names for colors and hundreds of dessert names.

majorbitch · 04-18-2006, 12:24 PM

HAHAHA. According to that , all of my friends are gay. Awesome.

Phoenix · 04-18-2006, 12:25 PM

dude..i had a diet root beer the other day..i th ink it has aspartame in it

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix

dude..i had a diet root beer the other day..i th ink it has aspartame in it

Welcome to flaming homo city.

Damian_Maxcash · 04-18-2006, 12:35 PM

According to this Im the only str8 guy that sleeps with guys.

I am often asked to prove Im gay when people meet me.

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 12:39 PM

I'm going to post this on www.jokesbee.com

:D

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeenGodFather

Shit. I'm gay.

Manowar · 04-18-2006, 02:41 PM

Hahaha. those are awesome

BoyAlley · 04-18-2006, 02:46 PM

reynold · 04-18-2006, 08:02 PM

so, what does the gay-meter reads?

mardigras · 04-18-2006, 09:19 PM

"faggadocious"

LOL, I'll have to work that one into general conversation

Spunky · 04-18-2006, 09:39 PM

My cat is named Mr Whiskers..I'm no homo

Romeo GaySearch4Sex · 04-18-2006, 09:42 PM

hooray for homos!

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

My cat is named Mr Whiskers..I'm no homo

You're right.

According to the test you are a FlaaaAAming Homo.

sniperwolf · 04-18-2006, 10:20 PM

bahahaha.. I am thinking about my brother as I read that stuff... man those are good

madawgz · 04-18-2006, 10:23 PM

so you are gay?

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madawgz

so you are gay?

Why do you ask?

uno · 04-18-2006, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeenGodFather

Shit. I'm gay.
I know a lot of names for colors and hundreds of dessert names.

I think this is for Americans, but even so, they should have had a "fat exemption" for it.

StatsJunky · 04-18-2006, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madawgz

so you are gay?

9. If you ask another man if he's gay you mine as well be soliciting him for some heavy pooper probing!

Bdiddy · 04-19-2006, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

xclusive · 04-19-2006, 12:34 AM

great i'm gay as well...how am i going to tell my wife and kids

reynold · 04-19-2006, 04:41 AM

lot's of gayness happening in here. lol

u-Bob · 04-19-2006, 04:58 AM

hehe

minusonebit · 04-19-2006, 06:31 AM

According to that test I am gay. I have a cat.

MichaelP · 04-19-2006, 07:59 AM

Well I suppose I'm gay too

#5 & #6

elitetec · 04-19-2006, 08:06 AM

Long text again. It must be really interesting to write all those long posts

G-Rotica · 04-19-2006, 08:12 AM

i have a cat and drink only diet sodas, that makes me the only gay guy that has no idea what cock taste like. However I have read that it taste like pumpkin pie...

CDSmith · 04-19-2006, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elitetec

Long text again. It must be really interesting to write all those long posts

Aren't you late for class?

CDSmith · 05-19-2008, 02:22 PM

Bump. Some newbs to the board since this was first posted need to check if they're gay.

polle54 · 05-19-2008, 02:27 PM

LOL that cracked me up :D

MichaelP · 05-19-2008, 02:29 PM

I Love Chartreuse

sicone · 05-19-2008, 02:30 PM

halfpint · 05-19-2008, 02:33 PM

Brokeback mountain was on TV last night....I did not watch it.... but I still crave a deep homosexual relationship because I refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom

stev0 · 05-19-2008, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

If you can pick out Chartreuse or know what a "fressier" is you are gay, and if you can name any type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

I hope this is referring to the color not the liquor ;) that stuff will put hair on your chest... tastes like gasoline and pinesol.

M0nk · 05-19-2008, 10:05 PM

hahahha this is fantastic!!!

Vicious_B · 05-21-2008, 12:23 PM

Apparently I have dated quite a few gay men

xentech · 05-21-2008, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

6) If you know more than six names of colors

ROFL, dunno why but that made me lol

C-Bass · 05-21-2008, 01:02 PM

where's BoyAlley in all of this? LOL

CDSmith · 05-21-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C-Bass

where's BoyAlley in all of this? LOL

See post 11. He provided us a look at a lovely (and I'm assuming very gay) red x.

uno · 05-21-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelP

I Love Chartreuse

I went to school with a kid who's grandfather worked for Crayola. His grandfather invented that color.

CDSmith · 05-21-2008, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uno

I went to school with a kid who's grandfather worked for Crayola. His grandfather invented that color.

I thought the color chartruese was some shade of pink or

shit there I go exposing my gayness again.

CurrentlySober · 05-21-2008, 02:45 PM

Need a second opinion?

JUST CLICK HERE lol

04-18-2006, 12:04 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	For those who have ever asked "Am I gay if I...." This is for you: Take the Brokeback Mountain self-test: Brokeback Mountain Self Test 1) If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-up, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2) If you have a cat, you are a FlaaaAAming Homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... Killer, come here! I said get your a$$ over here, Killer. Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-Bun, come to daddy, sookums!" Jeezus, you're fit to be framed you're so gay. 3) If you suck on lollipops, ring pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or TITS. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko, and undeniably a fag. 4) If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom, or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A mans world is his bathroom, he defacates and urinates where he pleases. 5) If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full of aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "decaf Cafe Latte with Skim", and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you have had Nutra Sweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too. 6) If you know more than six names of colors, or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have the memory space to remember all that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major Leagues, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out Chartreuse or know what a "fressier" is you are gay, and if you can name any type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious. 7) If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow assed driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat. 8) If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous c'est le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward a man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous Homosexual Combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too. Shit, the last part of #5, the part about artificial sweeteners, killed me. I've used them. DAmn, I was so hoping to not be gay. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-18-2006, 12:12 PM	#2
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	Hahahaha.. where did you find this? That's funny! __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

04-18-2006, 12:21 PM	#3
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Shit. I'm gay. I know a lot of names for colors and hundreds of dessert names. __________________ ..and I'm off.

04-18-2006, 12:24 PM	#4
majorbitch Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 708	HAHAHA. According to that , all of my friends are gay. Awesome. __________________

04-18-2006, 12:39 PM	#8
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	I'm going to post this on www.jokesbee.com :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-18-2006, 12:25 PM	#5
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,469	dude..i had a diet root beer the other day..i th ink it has aspartame in it __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

04-18-2006, 12:35 PM	#7
Damian_Maxcash So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: MaxCash.com Posts: 12,745	According to this Im the only str8 guy that sleeps with guys. I am often asked to prove Im gay when people meet me.

04-18-2006, 02:41 PM	#10
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	Hahaha. those are awesome

04-18-2006, 02:46 PM	#11
BoyAlley So Fucking Gay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 19,714

04-18-2006, 08:02 PM	#12
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	so, what does the gay-meter reads?

04-18-2006, 09:19 PM	#13
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	"faggadocious" LOL, I'll have to work that one into general conversation

04-18-2006, 09:39 PM	#14
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	My cat is named Mr Whiskers..I'm no homo __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-18-2006, 09:42 PM	#15
Romeo GaySearch4Sex Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 472	hooray for homos! __________________ If you want to add gay sites to your program, or need help navigating the gay market please contact me at: [email protected] ICQ# 160001441

04-18-2006, 10:20 PM	#17
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	bahahaha.. I am thinking about my brother as I read that stuff... man those are good __________________ ~Accepting design works~

04-18-2006, 10:23 PM	#18
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	so you are gay? __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

04-19-2006, 12:34 AM	#23
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	great i'm gay as well...how am i going to tell my wife and kids __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

04-19-2006, 04:41 AM	#24
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	lot's of gayness happening in here. lol

04-19-2006, 04:58 AM	#25
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	hehe

04-19-2006, 06:31 AM	#26
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	According to that test I am gay. I have a cat.

04-19-2006, 07:59 AM	#27
MichaelP Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: QWEBEC Corporate Office Posts: 7,124	Well I suppose I'm gay too #5 & #6

04-19-2006, 08:06 AM	#28
elitetec Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: New York Posts: 4,944	Long text again. It must be really interesting to write all those long posts __________________ Add Your Site To My PR4 Blog Selling Sig ICQ-200636146

04-19-2006, 08:12 AM	#29
G-Rotica Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 4,258	i have a cat and drink only diet sodas, that makes me the only gay guy that has no idea what cock taste like. However I have read that it taste like pumpkin pie... __________________

05-19-2008, 02:22 PM	#31
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Bump. Some newbs to the board since this was first posted need to check if they're gay. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

05-19-2008, 02:27 PM	#32
polle54 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Beach Posts: 4,626	LOL that cracked me up :D __________________ ICQ# 143561781

05-19-2008, 02:29 PM	#33
MichaelP Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: QWEBEC Corporate Office Posts: 7,124	I Love Chartreuse

05-19-2008, 02:30 PM	#34
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	__________________

05-19-2008, 02:33 PM	#35
halfpint GFY's Halfpint Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: UK Posts: 15,223	Brokeback mountain was on TV last night....I did not watch it.... but I still crave a deep homosexual relationship because I refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom __________________ Get FREE website listings on Cryptocoinshops.net

05-19-2008, 10:05 PM	#37
M0nk Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: uruguay Posts: 3,502	hahahha this is fantastic!!! __________________ No! I don´t work for SPACash anymore so stop asking. ICQ: 458651805

05-21-2008, 12:23 PM	#38
Vicious_B Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,564	Apparently I have dated quite a few gay men __________________ ICQ# 419 775 271

05-21-2008, 01:02 PM	#40
C-Bass Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: th3 1nt3Rwebz Posts: 3,153	where's BoyAlley in all of this? LOL __________________ "Unhappy with the riches 'cause you're piss poor morally." Trade traffic? - Highdef Blog

05-21-2008, 02:45 PM	#44
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,699	Need a second opinion? JUST CLICK HERE lol __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩