Favorite Simpsons quotes

[SteveLightspeed]

I'm bored and depressed. Simpson's quotes are in order. Please post your favorites.

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Marge: Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Homer: Well in that case, He should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.
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Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business!

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[crake]

Ralph: I bent my wookie.

[Black Dog]

Homer: Hmmm... so they have the Internet on computers now, huh?

[SteveLightspeed]

Ralph: Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.

[SteveLightspeed]

Krustyburger manager: We need more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.

[SteveLightspeed]

Psychiatrist: Is there a lot of screaming at your house?
Bart: Well, my dad's always yelling about the white man keeping him down.

[SteveLightspeed]

Marge: Careful of that apple pie on the back seat...
Grampa: Uh-oh.
Marge: Grampa, are you sitting on the pie?
Grampa: I sure hope so.

[Black Dog]

Ralph: The doctor says my nose wouldn't bleed so much if I just kept my finger out of there.

Ralph has all the best lines.


B

[madawgz]

Originally Posted by Black Dog

Homer: Hmmm... so they have the Internet on computers now, huh?

[juve20]

don't have one! Simpsons suck ass!

[leroytrolley]

Flanders : Hey Kids....did anybody prey for some giant shoes?

Kids : I Did.

Flanders : Okely Dokely !

I have "okely dokely" as my text message alert on my mobile phone.

[Warden]

"You don't snuggle with Max Power; you strap yourself in and FEEL THE G'S (accompanied with pelvic thrusting)"

[sherie]

Homer:"But Marge, it's a UterUS not a UterU"

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

Marge: "This is the worst thing you've ever done."
Homer: "You say that so often that it lost its meaning."

Ralph: "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness."

Homer: "Here's to alcohol, the cause ofhahaha8212;and solution tohahaha8212;all life's problems."

Homer: "Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore."

[Rufchild]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

[Black Dog]

Originally Posted by sherie

Ralph: "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

I told you Ralph has all the best lines.


B

[SteveLightspeed]

Marge: He's had a heart-attack! Quick someone do CPR!
Homer Simpson: [singing] I see a bad moon rising.
Marge: No that's CCR!
Homer Simpson: Errr... [singing] Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

[Canibal-7]

Homer says to God: "You just made yourself a very powerful enemy!"

[sherie]

Lenny: "Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it."

Ralph: "When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

Mr.Burns: "Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!"
Smithers:"You mean the revolver, sir?"
Mr.Burns: "Precisely."

Mr. Burns: "I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children."

[SteveLightspeed]

[Marge accidentally got breast implants]
Marge: You can't call breast implants a minor misunderstanding.
Dr. Hibbert: Look, Mrs. Simpson, if you want, you can come back in 48 hours, and I'll remove them.
Marge: You better. If not, my husbands gonna come back here, and do some malpractice on your face.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, yes, your husband. [sarcastically] I'm sure he'll be furious!

[SteveLightspeed]

Marge: The plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO! Four day weekend!

[Black Dog]

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.


We could do a whole thread about Ralph.

B

[Canibal-7]

Homer opens the door and sees the grimmreeper.


Grimmreeper: "I am Death!"

Homer: "Death? We don't want any"


Slams the door.

[SteveLightspeed]

Lisa: All we found were these oozing berries, and they look pretty poisonous.
Ralph: I ated the purple berries... oooh, oohh
Ralph: They taste like... burning.

[SteveLightspeed]

Ralph: Why do people keep running away from me?
[wets himself and smiles]

[SteveLightspeed]

Ralph: [after being sprayed by fake blood] I look like cable T.V...

[SteveLightspeed]

Principal Seymour: Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmellows, or raining down on Charlie.

[pornguy]

Man those are great. this is the first thread all day that I read every post.

[LittleSassy]

D'Oh!

[LittleSassy]

ooppss...double post

[Halcyon]

Marge: "That's not God, that's a waffle stuck to the ceiling!"

Homer: "Doh! I know I shouldn't eat thee ......mmmmmmm...sacrilicious..."

[SteveLightspeed]

Patty: I need a favor.
Homer Simpson: Hang on, I'll get my belt sander and try to grind the ugly off your face!

[psili]

Bart: Homer, are you licking toads.
Homer: I'm not, not licking toads.

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Ralph in wolf's mouth: You're breath smells like dead bunnies.

[Warden]

These are all great!

[Alex]

Grandpa:
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a cheat, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star.

[Warden]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

[Alex]

Lisa: (walks in to the kitchen) Mom...Dad... There is something i have to do. You might not like it, but i feel it has to be done. (Walks Out)

Homer: (whispering) Marge... She is going to narc on our stash.

Marge: What stash???

Homer: Thats right.... What stash???

[Warden]

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

[swoop]

Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

Marge: The plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO! Four day weekend!

HAHA...classic Homer

[CCBillJames]

Homer: 8:59am, first time I've ever been on time for work.... except for all those stupid daylight saving time days.... lousy farmers.

[Torn Rose]

Lisa: MAD BEAST!
Mr Burns: LIBERAL MIDGET!

Mr Burns: WHOLLEY BULLEY!

[Purple Haze]

I thought there was a post like this today already.

so here is one:

I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-A-r-t. --Homer Simpson

[tyler.]

hehe , the simpsons rock , i dont remember any lines what a pitty

[WiredGuy]

Homer: It's still good, it's still good! (In reference to the flying turkey)
WG

[american pervert]

ralph- if aquarium gravel is bad for you, why does it taste so good?

ralph- my cats breathe smells like cat food

[sexyclicks]

mmmmmmmmmmmm.... invisible cola....

[Vitasoy]

haha those are great.

[NaughtyJulie]

From the 'Max Power' episode:

"Marge: Well, I'm glad you changed your name back to Homer Simpson.
Homer: Yes, I learned you gotta be yourself. Good night, honey.
Marge: Good night.
[Homer flips off the lamp, but then flips it back on]
Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the courthouse I had
them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty La Rue.
Marge: Chesty La Rue?!
Homer: Just try it for two weeks! If you're not completely
satisfied, you can be Busty St. Claire.
Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue, or Busty St. Claire!
Homer: Fine, Hootie McBoob it is.
Marge: Good night, Homer.
[Marge reaches over and turns off the lamp]
Homer: Sleep tight, Hootie."

I want to be Hootie McBoob when I grow up!!

[iWeb_Jayson]

Hilarious..,lol

[Penthouse Tony]

Homer takes his oath, "And by the Sacred Parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of The Stonecutters, may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs."

Moe replies, "Um, I think he should have to take a different oath."

[Penthouse Tony]

Coyote: There is a lesson you must learn.
Homer: If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you.