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Old 03-30-2006, 04:42 PM   #1
Jesus Christ The Lord
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You all are going to Hell.

"Where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth". There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.


Sounds scary doesnt it?


Would you walk into a forest fire or burning building for NO reason? Of course you wouldnt, but if you don't turn from your evil lifestyle thats EXACTLY WHAT YOURE DOING, ONLY MUCH MUCH WORSE!

Fornication is a SIN, even worse than murder. Homosexuality (AKA Sodomy) is an abomination against God himself.


You must repent and turn from your wicked ways.

You must stop treating the vagina as a pleasure "machine". God intended it for the purpose of making babies. You men must CEASE inserting your peniseses into the rectums of OTHER MEN and women. That's where the Aids comes from!

You don't want to die of the AIDS and go to HELL do you????

Stop perverting the minds of our youth with your filthy pronography.





Amen
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:42 PM   #2
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Suck a Dick And Die You Fag
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:43 PM   #3
Michaelious
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i think you'll find the minds are already perverted
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:44 PM   #4
Alberto Manuel Von Queef
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:mad

i want my COCK sucked~!

any horny bichez here ?
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:44 PM   #5
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look man i have the jesus market cornered in here find a new racket before i send my leg breaking goons after your false profit ass...and welcome to gfy?
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:45 PM   #6
aico
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:47 PM   #7
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I don't know about the rest of this filth, but God likes my sites.

He told me so.
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:47 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.
Wait a second...



























Will there be some hot sluts at this lake you speak of ?...
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:52 PM   #9
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Ok then, maybe you want to send a preach over here so we can talk about our respective industries...

At least, us, we don't suck and fuck young boys
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Old 03-30-2006, 04:56 PM   #10
Jesus Christ The Lord
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Originally Posted by qwebecexpo
Ok then, maybe you want to send a preach over here so we can talk about our respective industries...

At least, us, we don't suck and fuck young boys

I've been meaning to have a talk with them. It's just been a busy time for me what with all these wars and rumors of wars and plagues and famines and such. I need to learn to manage my time better.









PS. Tell Mel Gibson that I am NOT amused.
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:01 PM   #11
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why the hell did i enter this thread for, anyway? jeez
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:03 PM   #12
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Hi JC like to make a few bucks?????????

Suck my dick!!!!!
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:05 PM   #13
MichaelP
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Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
I've been meaning to have a talk with them. It's just been a busy time for me what with all these wars and rumors of wars and plagues and famines and such. I need to learn to manage my time better.

And your point is ????

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Old 03-30-2006, 05:06 PM   #14
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I don't think this is the real Jesus. The actual one has a higher postcount and a red title.
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:07 PM   #15
Amp
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I want to be fuckin' saved n' shit..... where can I get an application to join your cult?

and do I get a cool orange toga or something as a sign on bonus?
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:10 PM   #16
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:10 PM   #17
Jesus Christ The Lord
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Originally Posted by Amp
I want to be fuckin' saved n' shit..... where can I get an application to join your cult?

and do I get a cool orange toga or something as a sign on bonus?



You are preapproved my son. I just spoke with Lucifer and he's willing to trade you for the souls of three televangelists and "Creed".
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:11 PM   #18
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:11 PM   #19
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:12 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
I've been meaning to have a talk with them. It's just been a busy time for me what with all these wars and rumors of wars and plagues and famines and such. I need to learn to manage my time better.
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:12 PM   #21
minusonebit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
Fornication is a SIN, even worse than murder.
Thats good. There have been some people I want to kill, good to know that Gods OK with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
Homosexuality (AKA Sodomy) is an abomination against God himself.
Yeah, but it converts so well. Even god can understand that, cant he? Its not really as bad as you say. God dosent like ass fucking and cock sucking and turns the other way, but ist not really so high on the list, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
You must stop treating the vagina as a pleasure "machine". God intended it for the purpose of making babies.
Yeah, the mexicans figured this out. Good job. Now they are making more babies than we know what to do with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
Stop perverting the minds of our youth with your filthy pronography.
Nah, we leave that to the public schools and the Church. Oh, and of course, Republicans.
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:12 PM   #22
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:13 PM   #23
EvilFubAr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
"Where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth". There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.


Sounds scary doesnt it?


Would you walk into a forest fire or burning building for NO reason? Of course you wouldnt, but if you don't turn from your evil lifestyle thats EXACTLY WHAT YOURE DOING, ONLY MUCH MUCH WORSE!

Fornication is a SIN, even worse than murder. Homosexuality (AKA Sodomy) is an abomination against God himself.


You must repent and turn from your wicked ways.

You must stop treating the vagina as a pleasure "machine". God intended it for the purpose of making babies. You men must CEASE inserting your peniseses into the rectums of OTHER MEN and women. That's where the Aids comes from!

You don't want to die of the AIDS and go to HELL do you????

Stop perverting the minds of our youth with your filthy pronography.





Amen
So the hundreds of thousands of dollars this industry raised for 9/11, tsuami, and katrina reflief funds is wrong too?

We dont sell to children, parents need to step in there. You dont let you child buy guns do you?
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:15 PM   #24
Amp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
You are preapproved my son. I just spoke with Lucifer and he's willing to trade you for the souls of three televangelists and "Creed".

I'm a little aprehensive.... the last time I was "preapproved" was for a Discover card, and as soon as the balance transfer went through, they fucked me on the interest rate.
How can I be sure if I give up Creed that I won't get slapped with a Lameness Penalty three months from now?
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:16 PM   #25
MichaelP
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Ok now... Who's that guy ?????
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:17 PM   #26
EvilFubAr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amp
I'm a little aprehensive.... the last time I was "preapproved" was for a Discover card, and as soon as the balance transfer went through, they fucked me on the interest rate.
How can I be sure if I give up Creed that I won't get slapped with a Lameness Penalty three months from now?

Jesus doesnt accept Discover.

Last edited by EvilFubAr; 03-30-2006 at 05:19 PM..
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:17 PM   #27
CDSmith
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:17 PM   #28
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you have to believe in hell to go to it lol
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:18 PM   #29
BusterBunny
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Originally Posted by CDSmith

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Old 03-30-2006, 05:19 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
"Where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth". There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.

Sounds scary doesnt it?
Clowns here?

P.S. Dude, try to stop taking dope. Heroin will kill you one day..
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:19 PM   #31
Jesus Christ The Lord
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Originally Posted by SPeRMiNaToR
loljesusDOTcom


Stop posting those blasphemous links you little heathen bastard or I shalt be forced to smite the living shitteth out of thee.


Although I quite like this one.

loljesusDOTcom/submissions/loljesus_children_go_to_hell.jpg
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:21 PM   #32
Jesus Christ The Lord
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amp
I'm a little aprehensive.... the last time I was "preapproved" was for a Discover card, and as soon as the balance transfer went through, they fucked me on the interest rate.
How can I be sure if I give up Creed that I won't get slapped with a Lameness Penalty three months from now?
You don't understand my son. I agree to let Swaggart, Falwell, Graham and Creed rot in hell forever, and Satan gives the slot he has reserved for YOU to someone else.
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:24 PM   #33
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:34 PM   #34
just a punk
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Check this out: http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/0512/jesus.mov
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:35 PM   #35
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:38 PM   #36
BusterBunny
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it was only a matter of time
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:41 PM   #37
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Whos alias is this?
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:42 PM   #38
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I'm converting!
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:55 PM   #39
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the third commandment says "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord your God in vain."

strike one for blasphemy for you
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:13 PM   #40
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of course im going to hell. i plan on taking over
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:17 PM   #41
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Heaven or hell, I have friends in both places.
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:22 PM   #42
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Religion is a crutch for the weakminded.
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DatingGold Rocks!
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:41 PM   #43
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I can not believe that there are some people in this thread getting offended, and taking it seriously when it is obviously a joke, and a way to have a little bit of fun. Come on, guys! Lighten up!
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:43 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
"Where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth". There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.


Sounds scary doesnt it?


Would you walk into a forest fire or burning building for NO reason? Of course you wouldnt, but if you don't turn from your evil lifestyle thats EXACTLY WHAT YOURE DOING, ONLY MUCH MUCH WORSE!

Fornication is a SIN, even worse than murder. Homosexuality (AKA Sodomy) is an abomination against God himself.


You must repent and turn from your wicked ways.

You must stop treating the vagina as a pleasure "machine". God intended it for the purpose of making babies. You men must CEASE inserting your peniseses into the rectums of OTHER MEN and women. That's where the Aids comes from!

You don't want to die of the AIDS and go to HELL do you????

Stop perverting the minds of our youth with your filthy pronography.





Amen

"DUDE! Your getting a HELL!"
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:32 PM   #45
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he who hath no sin cast the first stone
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:42 PM   #46
God Almighty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ The Lord
"Where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth". There you will burn FOREVER AND EVER in a LAKE OF FIRE.

Son, put down your cross and take a chill pill.
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:44 PM   #47
God Almighty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith
I don't know about the rest of this filth, but God likes my sites.

He told me so.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of porn, I shall wear no flip flops.

P.S. From now on, keep our conversations PRIVATE!
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:46 PM   #48
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:50 PM   #49
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Whos alias is this?
Lithium = the forthcoming of the religious onslaught.
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:53 PM   #50
God Almighty
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Originally Posted by tristan_D
he who hath no sin cast the first stone
He who hath no sensibilities casts Sharon Stone.

oh yeah....FIFTY
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