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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed.

 
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:02 AM   #1
xxxjay
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XXXJay?s Rare Tech Tips

How to completely defrag, optimize performance, and rid your laptop of all viruses, worms, spyware, and malware without any type of RAM upgrade or software in just a few seconds:



Also: Removes annoying monitor glare from your screen too (well, not really).



Quick message to whoever the assholes that wrote Spy Sheriff and NT Authority\System Shutdown shit?there?s a special layer in hell being reserved for you right now. It will be the 27th layer and will be three times as hot as the rest of hell, but with no air.

I will be there to meet you assholes. You?ll notice me because I will be the guy pouring acid into your faces while holding a bag of air and charging you to breathe! Ya? fucking bastards! Go back to slaying Orcs with your broadsword / working on your resistance to lightening ? you fucking geeks!

And stop fucking up our computers?we have porn to publish!

On a side note: Hewitt Packard noticed a slight increase in laptop sales in the Los Angeles area.

From:
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/sex-blog/
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:03 AM   #2
BumpUglyz
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you can use a hug
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:04 AM   #3
FredIsMe
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ya... nice tip...
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:05 AM   #4
StuartD
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it looks like the hard drive was trying to make a break for it.
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:13 AM   #5
PussyTeenies
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hmz.. do you also do house calls?
i got 2 laptops that need a quick fix
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:18 AM   #6
Antonio
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now you can sell it on Ebay
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:22 AM   #7
Juicy D. Links
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that laptop was gubaed to death
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:35 AM   #8
xxxjay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links
that laptop was gubaed to death
haha...that's a good one...you are on a roll tonight Juicy
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:40 AM   #9
Love Sex
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breaking things is so much fun. if you cant fix break it
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:42 AM   #10
u-Bob
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thanks.. very useful tips
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:45 AM   #11
V_RocKs
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Hmmm.. did it ever occure to you that you could just reinstall windows?
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:47 AM   #12
Zarathustra
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Hey, is that the HP ZD7000?
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:05 AM   #13
broke
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Fucking trash.
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:10 AM   #14
ServerGenius
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First you get hacked.....now a virus
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:10 AM   #15
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oh crap, did spyware do that? I gotta get rid of mine
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:14 AM   #16
Downtime
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did you beat the fuck out of it while u listened to "Die Motherfucker Die" from the Office Space soundtrack?
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:18 AM   #17
Manowar
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damn that is crushed
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:51 AM   #18
Tom_PM
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I just did a system restore when I got hit with that one, but your method looks more extensive and thorough.
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Old 02-22-2006, 08:20 AM   #19
Thurbs
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jay fucked that laptop up
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Old 02-22-2006, 09:44 AM   #20
brand0n
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ive so wanted to do that so many times
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Old 02-22-2006, 09:53 AM   #21
Validus
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Jay, I can't even get my personal website listed #1... grrr... SE's suck... or maybe I do!?
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Old 02-22-2006, 10:22 AM   #22
Pornwolf
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G'ddamn Jay, OCCash and Jay's XXX Links must be doing pretty good huh.
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:11 PM   #23
xxxjay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by V_RocKs
Hmmm.. did it ever occure to you that you could just reinstall windows?
Hahaha, of course...reinstalling windows is for pussies.
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:12 PM   #24
xxxjay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Downtime
did you beat the fuck out of it while u listened to "Die Motherfucker Die" from the Office Space soundtrack?
That is one of my favorite parts to any movie - EVER! I laugh every time I see them bust that fax machine up.
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:29 PM   #25
xxxice
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LOL good stuff
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:32 PM   #26
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Looks like somebody has a temper
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:33 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StuartD
it looks like the hard drive was trying to make a break for it.


good stuff.
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:35 PM   #28
nadanada
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Quote:
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did you beat the fuck out of it while u listened to "Die Motherfucker Die" from the Office Space soundtrack?
hah thats the same thing that went through my mind
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:50 PM   #29
dij
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haha, it's a classic

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Old 02-22-2006, 01:53 PM   #30
DWB
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that's rock and roll.
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Old 02-22-2006, 02:02 PM   #31
wedouglas
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I think there should be a large underground investigation launched into finding spyware producers and ruining their lives.
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