Wrong Number - GoFuckYourself.com

BrettJ · 04-22-2002, 02:13 PM

::Ring Ring::

B: Hello

Moron: Hi - I'm looking for Patricia F$#%&*$#

B: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

Moron: Do you know what her number might be?

B: (cough) Uh, No. I'm sorry I don't.

Moron: You are in Seattle, right?

B: Uh, Yes.

:::thinks to himself - there are only 2.5 million people in this town - and this guy expects me to know Patty's number:::

Moron: Okay, sorry to bother you.

::click::

pr0 · 04-22-2002, 02:34 PM

Telemarketer: Hello Mr ****?

ME: What hangs down & flies at night?

Telemarketer: What?

ME: A Bat

Telemarketer: ok.....

ME: What has a 10" Dick & hangs up?

*CLICK*

Rochard · 04-22-2002, 02:41 PM

I got a call from a local chiropractor the other day... True story:

Guy on phone: Hello Mr. Buss, I'm calling from Dr. Thomas's office.

Me: Great. Do I know you?

Guy on phone: Do you know me? I don't think so.

Me: I meant are you my doctor?

Guy on phone: No, I'm calling from Dr. Thomas's office.

Me: Well, if your not my doctor then why are you calling me?
Dr. Thomas just opened up his chiropractor practice here in Phoenix and we were wondering if you were interested in having us look at your back.

Me: I do have some back problems, but I do coke.

Guy on phone: Excuse me?

Me: You know, cocaine. I have a little bit of back pain, do some coke, and it's all good.
Guy on phone: Really. And that works for you?

Me: Sure. Why don't you give me your home phone number and I'll come over later tonight and get you and slut girlfriend all fucked up.

Guy on phone: <<click>>

My wife was laughing so hard so couldn't stand up.

Lexxx · 04-22-2002, 04:37 PM

wish I could post something funny from my own experience but I usually hang up faster than they can pronounce my last name...

[Labret] · 04-22-2002, 04:45 PM

I have caller ID.

I never answer the phone.

pornJester · 04-22-2002, 04:51 PM

Me: Hi, I've been trying to fax a document to your office for about 10 minutes now and It's not going through.

Dumb Bitch: Oh, keep trying, it should pick up.

Me: Really, I think it would have picked up by now, could you possibly CHECK on the fax machine and see if it's working.

Dumb Bitch: You want me to check it? Oh, ok, hold on a sec.

:::pause...

Dumb Bitch: The fax machine is out of paper, it's been fixed now, try again in about 10 min.

Me: Wow, imagine that, thanks.

:::hang up

It amazes me how companies hire such incompetent/moronic/lazy people, and it's the little things too that piss me off, do your fucking jobs you worthless fucks!

Oh, and don't even get me started on the fast food windows...

kenny · 04-22-2002, 04:55 PM

BILL COLLECTOR: Is keen there?
ME: haven't you heard?
BILL COLLECTOR:what?
ME:kenny's dead

MikeyBoy · 04-22-2002, 05:01 PM

gallup called me up some weeks ago and asked me if they could ask me some questions

i yelled into the phone no man no stop calling me
u are fuckingpissing me off
and then hang up

havent heard from them since

Lev · 04-22-2002, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Telemarketer: Hello Mr ****?

ME: What hangs down & flies at night?

Telemarketer: What?

ME: A Bat

Telemarketer: ok.....

ME: What has a 10" Dick & hangs up?

*CLICK*

LOL...

Gotta try that.

funkmaster · 04-22-2002, 05:12 PM

"I have caller ID.
I never answer the phone."

... hmmm, I have that too but if nobody calls you ... you know !

On-top · 04-22-2002, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by [Labret]
I have caller ID.

I never answer the phone.

Indeed.

Home phones suck.

Jamdin · 04-22-2002, 07:25 PM

Me: Hello...hello...

Them: Hello, we would like to extend your subscription to Stuff magazine and send you an introductory gift subscription of Sports Illustrated, Maxim and USA Today. For verification, may I please have your credit card number...

Me: 666-69-1313

Them: That's an odd number. Is this Visa or MasterCard?

Me: Neither, it's Bank of Satan

Them: Click

HeadPimp · 04-22-2002, 09:35 PM

I'm pissed at Discover card.. Last week they called me two days in a row. Then on the second day they called and asked for my wife.. Fuckers.
I did have a funny one today.. Phone rings, I answer and say hello and I hear some asian chick on the other end sounding very confused and speaking I don't know what language.. Needless to say it was a wrong number and she hung up.

jimmy3way · 04-22-2002, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pr0
Telemarketer: Hello Mr ****?

ME: What hangs down & flies at night?

Telemarketer: What?

ME: A Bat

Telemarketer: ok.....

ME: What has a 10" Dick & hangs up?

*CLICK*

That's so funny my usual is this:

Telemarketer: Hello Mr ****?

ME: Hi who is this?

Telemarketer: This is a courtesy call from blah, blah, blah.

ME: No shit...hey did you know that people with Altzheimers have huge horse cocks?

Telemarketer: Uh okay, sir.....

ME: Who is this, what do you want, why did I call you?

04-22-2002, 10:02 PM

shit, i usually hang up on those people ... but this thread gives me fresh ideas

04-22-2002, 10:05 PM

once I asked a telemarketing girl, who seemed to be fairly young, if she would go out with me ... then I hung up on her.

AaronM · 04-22-2002, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Equinox
once I asked a telemarketing girl, who seemed to be fairly young, if she would go out with me ... then I hung up on her.

What? you could not deal with the rejection?

XXXPaysiteDesign · 04-22-2002, 10:20 PM

When I lived with my parents we got a telemarketer call and ask for Dog Wilson. She was asian and couldn't pronounce "Doug" correctly.

T: Hello is Dog Wilson there?

Me: Dog Wilson?

T: Yes, Dog Wilson.

Me: So you wanted to speak with Dog then?

T: Yes.

Me: Okay one sec.. DOG PHONE FOR YOU!

<click>

04-22-2002, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AaronM

What? you could not deal with the rejection?

yeah, it hit me hard, so I hit the phone.

Machine · 04-22-2002, 10:27 PM

I get like 10 wrong numbers a day, its fucking ridiculous.

Fletch XXX · 04-22-2002, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by [Labret]
I have caller ID.

I never answer the phone.

Same here.

Anyone i need to talk to has my cell.

ADIDAS · 04-22-2002, 10:36 PM

If anyone has ever seen BoilerRoom Seth has a great way to piss these guys off.....

Get the to give you their pitch, the whole schpeel.....waste their time, make em think you are interested.....give all the buying signals and then BOOM! Knock em flat out of their sales.......

I do it all the time and I am getting LESS AND LESS of em all the time!

BrettJ · 04-22-2002, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fletch XXX

Same here.

Anyone i need to talk to has my cell.

Cell phone wrong numbers suck - cuz even if i'm sleeping and my cell goes off I make every effort to wake myself up and answer it. People that call my cell know not to call after 6am and before noon - so if it rings - it's important and I need to answer it.

BUT - the worst one is cell phone solication - I put my cell number down for business stuff, gov't documents, and domain name registrations - - so I get spamm calls by fuck'n Casino sites and web hosting companies - - at 8 in the morning!

fuck'n Annoying

PersianKitty · 04-22-2002, 10:57 PM

I discovered last year about a year ago that a nearby down had mistakenly put my home phone number as a number for Salvation Army temporary housing/shelter in a pamphlet they give to people in need. It was also on that town's area services directory online. Even though they've corrected it online there are thousands of the pamphlets floating around. I get two or three calls a week for the Salvation Army. I give them all the correct number.

Other then that the other wrong number I also get is for the local area Dominos Pizza. Some people call back over and over again.. I've actually taken orders for the most persistent ones. Guess they must all have called the correct number when their pizza didn't arrive.

jimmy3way · 04-22-2002, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
I discovered last year about a year ago that a nearby down had mistakenly put my home phone number as a number for Salvation Army temporary housing/shelter in a pamphlet they give to people in need.

That reminds me of the suicide hotline stuff from the novel Survivor.

Actually, I think that novel was written by a local boy, you're in Wash. State, right?

tekart · 04-22-2002, 11:23 PM

When I remember to do this, this is 'really funny' as well:

After the sales person gets through w/the sales pitch, I start in with the usual "NO SPEAKA English!"...

If the sales person actually speaks spanish, and attempts the come back of "Hablo Espanol?"...then I chime in with:
"No enchalada por taco la gordita!" .... " Como nacho el mucho grande, y meximelt por favor?"......<CLICK>

gotta love those Taco Bell menus!

04-22-2002, 02:13 PM	#1
BrettJ ol' timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Seattle WA Posts: 4,715	Wrong Number ::Ring Ring:: B: Hello Moron: Hi - I'm looking for Patricia F$#%&*$# B: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. Moron: Do you know what her number might be? B: (cough) Uh, No. I'm sorry I don't. Moron: You are in Seattle, right? B: Uh, Yes. :::thinks to himself - there are only 2.5 million people in this town - and this guy expects me to know Patty's number::: Moron: Okay, sorry to bother you. ::click::

04-22-2002, 02:41 PM	#3
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 74,022	I got a call from a local chiropractor the other day... True story: Guy on phone: Hello Mr. Buss, I'm calling from Dr. Thomas's office. Me: Great. Do I know you? Guy on phone: Do you know me? I don't think so. Me: I meant are you my doctor? Guy on phone: No, I'm calling from Dr. Thomas's office. Me: Well, if your not my doctor then why are you calling me? Dr. Thomas just opened up his chiropractor practice here in Phoenix and we were wondering if you were interested in having us look at your back. Me: I do have some back problems, but I do coke. Guy on phone: Excuse me? Me: You know, cocaine. I have a little bit of back pain, do some coke, and it's all good. Guy on phone: Really. And that works for you? Me: Sure. Why don't you give me your home phone number and I'll come over later tonight and get you and slut girlfriend all fucked up. Guy on phone: <<click>> My wife was laughing so hard so couldn't stand up. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

04-22-2002, 04:37 PM	#4
Lexxx Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Boston Posts: 1,489	wish I could post something funny from my own experience but I usually hang up faster than they can pronounce my last name... __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

04-22-2002, 04:45 PM	#5
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	I have caller ID. I never answer the phone. Last edited by [Labret]; 04-22-2002 at 04:47 PM..

04-22-2002, 04:51 PM	#6
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	Me: Hi, I've been trying to fax a document to your office for about 10 minutes now and It's not going through. Dumb Bitch: Oh, keep trying, it should pick up. Me: Really, I think it would have picked up by now, could you possibly CHECK on the fax machine and see if it's working. Dumb Bitch: You want me to check it? Oh, ok, hold on a sec. :::pause... Dumb Bitch: The fax machine is out of paper, it's been fixed now, try again in about 10 min. Me: Wow, imagine that, thanks. :::hang up It amazes me how companies hire such incompetent/moronic/lazy people, and it's the little things too that piss me off, do your fucking jobs you worthless fucks! Oh, and don't even get me started on the fast food windows... __________________ FreshBucks \| Webmaster Vault \| GayAW Trusted Names in Adult. ICQ 9157.3698

04-22-2002, 02:34 PM	#2
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	Telemarketer: Hello Mr ***? ME: What hangs down & flies at night? Telemarketer: What? ME: A Bat Telemarketer: ok..... ME: What has a 10" Dick & hangs up? CLICK*

04-22-2002, 04:55 PM	#7
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	BILL COLLECTOR: Is keen there? ME: haven't you heard? BILL COLLECTOR:what? ME:kenny's dead __________________ 7

04-22-2002, 05:01 PM	#8
MikeyBoy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 537	gallup called me up some weeks ago and asked me if they could ask me some questions i yelled into the phone no man no stop calling me u are fuckingpissing me off and then hang up havent heard from them since

04-22-2002, 05:12 PM	#10
funkmaster So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: shell beach Posts: 7,938	"I have caller ID. I never answer the phone." ... hmmm, I have that too but if nobody calls you ... you know !

04-22-2002, 07:25 PM	#12
Jamdin Registered User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,560	Me: Hello...hello... Them: Hello, we would like to extend your subscription to Stuff magazine and send you an introductory gift subscription of Sports Illustrated, Maxim and USA Today. For verification, may I please have your credit card number... Me: 666-69-1313 Them: That's an odd number. Is this Visa or MasterCard? Me: Neither, it's Bank of Satan Them: Click

04-22-2002, 09:35 PM	#13
HeadPimp Bad Mo-Fo Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 2,772	I'm pissed at Discover card.. Last week they called me two days in a row. Then on the second day they called and asked for my wife.. Fuckers. I did have a funny one today.. Phone rings, I answer and say hello and I hear some asian chick on the other end sounding very confused and speaking I don't know what language.. Needless to say it was a wrong number and she hung up.

04-22-2002, 10:02 PM	#15
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	shit, i usually hang up on those people ... but this thread gives me fresh ideas

04-22-2002, 10:05 PM	#16
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	once I asked a telemarketing girl, who seemed to be fairly young, if she would go out with me ... then I hung up on her. Last edited by X37375787; 04-22-2002 at 10:08 PM..

04-22-2002, 10:20 PM	#18
XXXPaysiteDesign Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Everett, WA Posts: 2,201	When I lived with my parents we got a telemarketer call and ask for Dog Wilson. She was asian and couldn't pronounce "Doug" correctly. T: Hello is Dog Wilson there? Me: Dog Wilson? T: Yes, Dog Wilson. Me: So you wanted to speak with Dog then? T: Yes. Me: Okay one sec.. DOG PHONE FOR YOU! <click> __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

04-22-2002, 10:27 PM	#20
Machine Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Michigan Posts: 660	I get like 10 wrong numbers a day, its fucking ridiculous. __________________ Webmastercommerce.com AAC - Adult Amateur Content (coming soon)

04-22-2002, 10:36 PM	#22
ADIDAS Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: San Diego CA USA Posts: 638	If anyone has ever seen BoilerRoom Seth has a great way to piss these guys off..... Get the to give you their pitch, the whole schpeel.....waste their time, make em think you are interested.....give all the buying signals and then BOOM! Knock em flat out of their sales....... I do it all the time and I am getting LESS AND LESS of em all the time! __________________ <img src="http://www.sunlightcontent.com/images/sl_but.gif" border=0> Professional Video Encoding As Low As $2.00 Per Minute ICQ # 125084296

04-22-2002, 10:57 PM	#24
PersianKitty Meow Media Inc. Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod Posts: 7,785	I discovered last year about a year ago that a nearby down had mistakenly put my home phone number as a number for Salvation Army temporary housing/shelter in a pamphlet they give to people in need. It was also on that town's area services directory online. Even though they've corrected it online there are thousands of the pamphlets floating around. I get two or three calls a week for the Salvation Army. I give them all the correct number. Other then that the other wrong number I also get is for the local area Dominos Pizza. Some people call back over and over again.. I've actually taken orders for the most persistent ones. Guess they must all have called the correct number when their pizza didn't arrive.

04-22-2002, 11:23 PM	#26
tekart Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: somwhere in time... Posts: 368	When I remember to do this, this is 'really funny' as well: After the sales person gets through w/the sales pitch, I start in with the usual "NO SPEAKA English!"... If the sales person actually speaks spanish, and attempts the come back of "Hablo Espanol?"...then I chime in with: "No enchalada por taco la gordita!" .... " Como nacho el mucho grande, y meximelt por favor?"......<CLICK> gotta love those Taco Bell menus!