Letter of resignation... funny!!! - GoFuckYourself.com

RRRED · 01-28-2006, 02:06 PM

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia

pornguy · 01-28-2006, 02:15 PM

Sounds like a guy that I worked for. What a fucking idiot he was. Deleted the website from the server, and then tried to blame someone else. Then he tried to move 8 gigs of info from his pc to the server. Froze everything for like 3 hours.

sicone · 01-28-2006, 02:20 PM

seeric · 01-28-2006, 02:20 PM

hi reddd

happy saturday!

BradM · 01-28-2006, 02:20 PM

Welcome to the invention of the innanet.

Scroto · 01-28-2006, 02:22 PM

Great read, 'Cecelia' ownded his ass no doubt!

Stallion · 01-28-2006, 02:22 PM

an oldie but still funny as hell..

Doctor Dre · 01-28-2006, 02:22 PM

HAHAHAHAHHAAH

Probably fake, wrote by somebody in this situation, but still fucking great ;)

Baker Rd · 01-28-2006, 02:23 PM

funny, but I don't think blackmailing someone in writing is a smart move...

Lord Nelson · 01-28-2006, 02:24 PM

kickass.

kernelpanic · 01-28-2006, 02:25 PM

DWB · 01-28-2006, 03:29 PM

owned....

cyberpunk · 01-28-2006, 03:33 PM

thats fuckign classic

sweetcuties · 01-28-2006, 03:35 PM

Nice, I can't stand pretentious people

Penthouse Tony · 01-28-2006, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

When I worked in customer service for Electronic Arts I once got a call from a housewife that questioned everything I told her to do to fix her game. She was playing The Sims. Everything that I told her to do she questioned and told her husband who was next to her. She would then tell me that he thought doing what I was recommending would ruin her system. I was recommending that she shut down unneeded applications that were in her system tray so she could have enough free resources to run the game.

She wouldn't let me speak to her husband who was apparently driving this call nor would she do what I asked in order to help her. I have no idea why she was calling customer service. I hate people like that.

BlueDesignStudios · 01-28-2006, 04:18 PM

hahaha priceless!

wyldblyss · 01-28-2006, 04:24 PM

What a grand parting letter. Smart cookie that girl is.

pussyluver · 01-28-2006, 05:09 PM

Nice letter. She appears to own him. The fact is that it is a two way street as she just blackmailed him. The FBI doesn't take kindly to extortion even if it is just for a kind referral. On the other hand they may laugh in his face?

pussyluver · 01-28-2006, 05:13 PM

Oh, another thing. If she would go public with user info, try getting the next job. Stuff like that can kill a sys admins rep. If you hold the keys to the network, you must learn to keep your mouth shut.

As far as cp goes, that iswere I'd draw the line. If he had it on his computer, he's reported.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 01-28-2006, 05:17 PM

Too funny...

Great book - I highly recommend it (my copy is autographed by Scott Adams).

ADG Webmaster

chadglni · 01-28-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyluver

Oh, another thing. If she would go public with user info, try getting the next job. Stuff like that can kill a sys admins rep. If you hold the keys to the network, you must learn to keep your mouth shut.

As far as cp goes, that iswere I'd draw the line. If he had it on his computer, he's reported.

God damn if there isn't always some idiot coming in to point out the obvious in these types of threads. Here's a cluepon Ricky Retardo, it's most likely fucking fake like 99% of the other shit on the internet. Here's another one, even if it were blackmail who the fuck is gonna tell?

You no sense of humor fuckstain.

UtahSaints · 01-28-2006, 06:00 PM

My first job was as development guy was with BN** - company. So one day this guy calls up and tell us his PC is acting weird.. he can?t check his crew?s schedule and such. So I send a tech out there and guess what???? He has 20 GIGs of underage porn downloaded on his work PC.. He was 24 year veteran .. got his ass fired in minutes

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-08-2006, 03:24 AM

bump for some laughs!

marketsmart · 06-08-2006, 03:52 AM

this is old but stil funny...

MarinaAngela · 06-08-2006, 04:15 AM

bwahahhahahahahahahah!!!

reminds me of my former employer

u-Bob · 06-08-2006, 06:26 AM

BluewireAngie · 06-08-2006, 07:25 AM

Funny!!!!

ContentSHOOTER · 06-08-2006, 09:03 AM

Very funny RRRED thanks for posting that

nancycash(dot)com · 06-08-2006, 09:22 AM

yes, old but funny! thanks.

CaptainWolfy · 06-08-2006, 09:48 AM

hahaha it is the best letter i have read
!

RRRED · 06-08-2006, 11:10 AM

Hahaha... I saw this thread and was like wtf I didn't post that. That was this past January lol..

I enjoyed reading it again though. Good choice of bump for an old thread though.

reynold · 06-08-2006, 08:08 PM

I know that biatch deserves to be on better companis... or even best ones I guess..

xNetworx · 06-08-2006, 08:13 PM

If she is so smart, why would she WRITE about blackmailing him. He could sue the pants off her... funny letter but likely fake

Capt. rold · 06-08-2006, 08:20 PM

old but still funny..

and the boss is still pwned!

notabook · 06-08-2006, 08:49 PM

old as jesus and fake as Halo 3, but still manages to make you laugh.

iWeb_Iya · 06-08-2006, 09:21 PM

Cheers to good laugh!

Shocking · 06-08-2006, 09:29 PM

kick ass letter man

dRI-X · 06-08-2006, 09:30 PM

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

---

hahaha, i love this part. how i wish her boss have the body to show in that bottle of sauce...

p.s i make sure i befriend the system administrator in every company i go. hahaha

01-28-2006, 02:06 PM	#1
RRRED Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: WA Posts: 6,754	Letter of resignation... funny!!! Actual letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker, As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts. 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own. 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration. 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.) Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time! Wishing you a grand and glorious day, Cecelia

01-28-2006, 02:15 PM	#2
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Sounds like a guy that I worked for. What a fucking idiot he was. Deleted the website from the server, and then tried to blame someone else. Then he tried to move 8 gigs of info from his pc to the server. Froze everything for like 3 hours. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

01-28-2006, 02:20 PM	#3
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	__________________

01-28-2006, 02:22 PM	#7
Stallion Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: FL Posts: 6,632	an oldie but still funny as hell.. __________________ Project Manager/Program Manager/Webmaster Seeking Work [email protected] icq 856554

01-28-2006, 02:23 PM	#9
Baker Rd Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 647	funny, but I don't think blackmailing someone in writing is a smart move... __________________ money talks and bullshit walks.

01-28-2006, 02:20 PM	#4
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	hi reddd happy saturday!

01-28-2006, 02:20 PM	#5
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Welcome to the invention of the innanet.

01-28-2006, 02:22 PM	#6
Scroto Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 2,804	Great read, 'Cecelia' ownded his ass no doubt!

01-28-2006, 02:24 PM	#10
Lord Nelson So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 715	kickass.

01-28-2006, 02:25 PM	#11
kernelpanic Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,961	__________________ ZangoCash - Turn Your Traffic Into Ca$h. $.40 Per Install - No Tier

01-28-2006, 03:29 PM	#12
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	owned....

01-28-2006, 03:33 PM	#13
cyberpunk Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,377	thats fuckign classic __________________ POST NO ADS!

01-28-2006, 03:35 PM	#14
sweetcuties Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Posts: 5,859	Nice, I can't stand pretentious people __________________

01-28-2006, 04:18 PM	#16
BlueDesignStudios Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 9,492	hahaha priceless! __________________ Blue Design Studios - Adult Design Specialists! Email me for a free quote: [email protected]

01-28-2006, 04:24 PM	#17
wyldblyss Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Buck Starts Here Posts: 5,779	What a grand parting letter. Smart cookie that girl is.

01-28-2006, 05:09 PM	#18
pussyluver Clueless OleMan Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ICQ - 169903487 Posts: 11,009	Nice letter. She appears to own him. The fact is that it is a two way street as she just blackmailed him. The FBI doesn't take kindly to extortion even if it is just for a kind referral. On the other hand they may laugh in his face?

01-28-2006, 05:13 PM	#19
pussyluver Clueless OleMan Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ICQ - 169903487 Posts: 11,009	Oh, another thing. If she would go public with user info, try getting the next job. Stuff like that can kill a sys admins rep. If you hold the keys to the network, you must learn to keep your mouth shut. As far as cp goes, that iswere I'd draw the line. If he had it on his computer, he's reported. Last edited by pussyluver; 01-28-2006 at 05:15 PM..

01-28-2006, 05:17 PM	#20
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Too funny... Great book - I highly recommend it (my copy is autographed by Scott Adams). ADG Webmaster __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

01-28-2006, 06:00 PM	#22
UtahSaints Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,538	My first job was as development guy was with BN - company. So one day this guy calls up and tell us his PC is acting weird.. he can?t check his crew?s schedule and such. So I send a tech out there and guess what???? He has 20 GIGs of underage porn downloaded on his work PC.. He was 24 year veteran .. got his ass fired in minutes __________________ Enjoy Bucks** - Enjoy Bucks

06-08-2006, 03:24 AM	#23
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	bump for some laughs!

06-08-2006, 03:52 AM	#24
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	this is old but stil funny...

06-08-2006, 04:15 AM	#25
MarinaAngela Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 383	bwahahhahahahahahahah!!! reminds me of my former employer __________________ http://www.azdtoons.com Last edited by MarinaAngela; 06-08-2006 at 04:17 AM..

06-08-2006, 06:26 AM	#26
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063

06-08-2006, 07:25 AM	#27
BluewireAngie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Makati Posts: 4,643	Funny!!!! __________________ Web Design & Programming - Creative Mainstream Style Web Design and Programming PORTFOLIO Custom Cartoons - High Quality Cartoon Studio PORTFOLIO Offshore Staff - Save Money & Grow Faster With Dedicated Offshore Staff PRICING ICQ:282-072-512

06-08-2006, 09:03 AM	#28
ContentSHOOTER Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: See Above Posts: 3,770	Very funny RRRED thanks for posting that __________________ Shooting Exclusive Content for over 16 years You can reach me at [email protected] I have survived in this industry shooting exclusive for 16 years.

06-08-2006, 09:22 AM	#29
nancycash(dot)com Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 208	yes, old but funny! thanks. __________________ NEW SOLO GIRL NANCY TITS + NANCY PUSSY = $CASH$

06-08-2006, 09:48 AM	#30
CaptainWolfy Playa Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere on the Earth Posts: 8,439	hahaha it is the best letter i have read !

06-08-2006, 11:10 AM	#31
RRRED Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: WA Posts: 6,754	Hahaha... I saw this thread and was like wtf I didn't post that. That was this past January lol.. I enjoyed reading it again though. Good choice of bump for an old thread though.

06-08-2006, 08:08 PM	#32
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	I know that biatch deserves to be on better companis... or even best ones I guess..

06-08-2006, 08:13 PM	#33
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	If she is so smart, why would she WRITE about blackmailing him. He could sue the pants off her... funny letter but likely fake

06-08-2006, 08:20 PM	#34
Capt. rold Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Cashcore.com, Canada Posts: 192	old but still funny.. and the boss is still pwned! __________________ Cashcore - Original Paysites, Exclusive Content, 60% Revshare, Epassporte.Click Here to View captrold/at/cashcore.com ICQ - 43798166

06-08-2006, 08:49 PM	#35
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	old as jesus and fake as Halo 3, but still manages to make you laugh. __________________

06-08-2006, 09:21 PM	#36
iWeb_Iya Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Manila Posts: 1,091	Cheers to good laugh! __________________ Iya Mallorca [email protected] ICQ: 212-175-124 800.934.4942 or +1.408.454.7716 Offshore Staff Leasing Services

06-08-2006, 09:29 PM	#37
Shocking Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Panama Posts: 523	kick ass letter man

06-08-2006, 09:30 PM	#38
dRI-X Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: In A Free Country Posts: 372	3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.) --- hahaha, i love this part. how i wish her boss have the body to show in that bottle of sauce... p.s i make sure i befriend the system administrator in every company i go. hahaha