Letter of resignation... funny!!!
 

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!


Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia

Sounds like a guy that I worked for. What a fucking idiot he was. Deleted the website from the server, and then tried to blame someone else. Then he tried to move 8 gigs of info from his pc to the server. Froze everything for like 3 hours.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

hi reddd

happy saturday!

:)

Welcome to the invention of the innanet.

Great read, 'Cecelia' ownded his ass no doubt! :thumbsup

an oldie but still funny as hell..

HAHAHAHAHHAAH

Probably fake, wrote by somebody in this situation, but still fucking great ;)

funny, but I don't think blackmailing someone in writing is a smart move...

kickass.

:1orglaugh

owned....

thats fuckign classic

Nice, I can't stand pretentious people

When I worked in customer service for Electronic Arts I once got a call from a housewife that questioned everything I told her to do to fix her game. She was playing The Sims. Everything that I told her to do she questioned and told her husband who was next to her. She would then tell me that he thought doing what I was recommending would ruin her system. I was recommending that she shut down unneeded applications that were in her system tray so she could have enough free resources to run the game. :Oh crap

She wouldn't let me speak to her husband who was apparently driving this call nor would she do what I asked in order to help her. I have no idea why she was calling customer service. I hate people like that. :mad:

hahaha priceless!

What a grand parting letter. Smart cookie that girl is.

Nice letter. She appears to own him. The fact is that it is a two way street as she just blackmailed him. The FBI doesn't take kindly to extortion even if it is just for a kind referral. On the other hand they may laugh in his face?

Oh, another thing. If she would go public with user info, try getting the next job. Stuff like that can kill a sys admins rep. If you hold the keys to the network, you must learn to keep your mouth shut.

As far as cp goes, that iswere I'd draw the line. If he had it on his computer, he's reported.

Too funny...:1orglaugh

http://www.cs.princeton.edu/~aahobor...-Principle.jpg

Great book - I highly recommend it (my copy is autographed by Scott Adams).

ADG Webmaster

God damn if there isn't always some idiot coming in to point out the obvious in these types of threads. Here's a cluepon Ricky Retardo, it's most likely fucking fake like 99% of the other shit on the internet. Here's another one, even if it were blackmail who the fuck is gonna tell?

:321GFY :321GFY :321GFY You no sense of humor fuckstain.

My first job was as development guy was with BN** - company. So one day this guy calls up and tell us his PC is acting weird.. he can?t check his crew?s schedule and such. So I send a tech out there and guess what???? He has 20 GIGs of underage porn downloaded on his work PC.. He was 24 year veteran .. got his ass fired in minutes

bump for some laughs!

this is old but stil funny...

bwahahhahahahahahahah!!!

reminds me of my former employer :321GFY

Funny!!!! :1orglaugh

Very funny RRRED thanks for posting that:thumbsup :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

yes, old but funny! thanks.

hahaha it is the best letter i have read
!

Hahaha... I saw this thread and was like wtf I didn't post that. That was this past January lol..

I enjoyed reading it again though. Good choice of bump for an old thread though. :thumbsup

I know that biatch deserves to be on better companis... or even best ones I guess.. :1orglaugh

If she is so smart, why would she WRITE about blackmailing him. He could sue the pants off her... funny letter but likely fake

old but still funny..

and the boss is still pwned! :1orglaugh

old as jesus and fake as Halo 3, but still manages to make you laugh. :1orglaugh

Cheers to good laugh! :thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

kick ass letter man

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)


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hahaha, i love this part. how i wish her boss have the body to show in that bottle of sauce...

p.s i make sure i befriend the system administrator in every company i go. hahaha:thumbsup