So I got busted for a minor drug offence and the female police found my fleshlight.. - GoFuckYourself.com

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 09:36 AM

Happened last thursday, me and my friends got pulled over for a broken taillight and soon the cops realised that we where all stoned (except for the driver). Long story short we arrive at the police station and I have my bag with me, was heading for my girlfriends place to stay for a few days. Two female officers start to search my bag for contraband and soon enough they pick up 5g of hash. Thats not the worst part, the worts part comes now..

Now there are three officers in the room, two female one male, and they keep searching my bag. Almost all they way through the bag they pick up my fleshlight and the female cop holding it is like what the fuck, gross. I feel so fucking embarrased that I want to sink through the floor. As if that wasnt enough the cop calls other cops who are nearby to come look at the thing. Hilarious.

I should have hidden the stash in the fleshlight because they didnt bother to open it and check inside >(

When I got to my girlfriends house I trashed the fleshlight but kept the pussy part (I now use it to throw on walls, it sticks).

So, tell me one of your crazy FL stories..

Pipecrew · 01-18-2006, 09:38 AM

that's pretty rough.

crockett · 01-18-2006, 09:39 AM

lol fuck throwing it away.. next time put your drugs in it. If they start looking at it, make sure to warn them it was just used..

bjjb · 01-18-2006, 09:39 AM

youre more embarassed by a fleshlight than getting busted for drugs? lmao

jacked · 01-18-2006, 09:40 AM

that sucks man i'd be pretty embarrased to

Screaming · 01-18-2006, 09:40 AM

why did you trash it?

Dirty F · 01-18-2006, 09:41 AM

Did you get a fine for having hash with you?

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screaming

why did you trash it?

Because I never wanted to be in a similar situation, I guess the moral of the story is DONT CARRY YOUR FLESHLIGHT AROUND WITH YOU.

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck

Did you get a fine for having hash with you?

Will get a 200-500 dollar fine.

ServerGenius · 01-18-2006, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Happened last thursday, me and my friends got pulled over for a broken taillight and soon the cops realised that we where all stoned (except for the driver). Long story short we arrive at the police station and I have my bag with me, was heading for my girlfriends place to stay for a few days. Two female officers start to search my bag for contraband and soon enough they pick up 5g of hash. Thats not the worst part, the worts part comes now..

Now there are three officers in the room, two female one male, and they keep searching my bag. Almost all they way through the bag they pick up my fleshlight and the female cop holding it is like what the fuck, gross. I feel so fucking embarrased that I want to sink through the floor. As if that wasnt enough the cop calls other cops who are nearby to come look at the thing. Hilarious.

I should have hidden the stash in the fleshlight because they didnt bother to open it and check inside >(

When I got to my girlfriends house I trashed the fleshlight but kept the pussy part (I now use it to throw on walls, it sticks).

So, tell me one of your crazy FL stories..

Because the cops caught you with a fleshlight you decided to throw it away?

Donny · 01-18-2006, 09:43 AM

Why in the world would you be embarrassed? Both those female officers have vibrators, no doubt. It's okay to have a sex toy. You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.

arg · 01-18-2006, 09:47 AM

That would be the ultimate for smuggling contraband. You could pack a fleshlight full of crack, smear yogurt on the top, and no way would airport security dig their fingers in to see what's inside. :-)

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

Why in the world would you be embarrassed? Both those female officers have vibrators, no doubt. It's okay to have a sex toy. You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.

Maybe where you live, but I live in stuck-up-everything-that-isnt-descent-is-fucked-country.

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynaSpain

Because the cops caught you with a fleshlight you decided to throw it away?

Well, kind of.. then I couldnt bare having it around anyway and the gf hated it ^-^

kept the pussy part though.

Donny · 01-18-2006, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Maybe where you live, but I live in stuck-up-everything-that-isnt-descent-is-fucked-country.

So in other words you let the opinions of others influence your life. Okay.

Why are you in porn?

ChatCash_Rob · 01-18-2006, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arg

That would be the ultimate for smuggling contraband. You could pack a fleshlight full of crack, smear yogurt on the top, and no way would airport security dig their fingers in to see what's inside. :-)

till it goes through the xray

DWB · 01-18-2006, 09:55 AM

I hired movers about 10 years ago and my bed was the last thing to take out. They lifted the mattress and box spring and there set my Chasey Lain pocket pussy. Both the guys looked at me, I smiled, and we all started laughing our asses off. Owned.

Of all the things in my apartment I forgot to pack... my pocket pussy.

The shame.

Oracle Porn · 01-18-2006, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

So in other words you let the opinions of others influence your life. Okay.

Why are you in porn?

money, no everyone is a porn freak that can run around showing their dicks in public and fucking a fleshlight in a middle of a busy street.

Korban · 01-18-2006, 09:59 AM

Why the fuck did you let them search yout bag?

Edit: did they take you to the police station?

cool1 · 01-18-2006, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Well, kind of.. then I couldnt bare having it around anyway and the gf hated it ^-^

kept the pussy part though.

Why did your gf hate it, is she insecure about her ability to keep you satisfied? Just curious how others gf's react to it.

Donny · 01-18-2006, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oracle Porn

money, no everyone is a porn freak that can run around showing their dicks in public and fucking a fleshlight in a middle of a busy street.

Not every girl who owns a vibrator uses it in public either. Your post was ridiculous. Of all the girls I know who own sex toys, I can't think of one who uses it publicly. Why should male sex toys be any different?

Nobody should be ashamed of owning a sex toy.

Oracle Porn · 01-18-2006, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

Not every girl who owns a vibrator uses it in public either. Your post was ridiculous. Of all the girls I know who own sex toys, I can't think of one who uses it publicly. Why should male sex toys be any different?

Nobody should be ashamed of owning a sex toy.

every girl would get emberresed if a male cop goes thru their bag and finds a vibrator....

ronaldo · 01-18-2006, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

I hired movers about 10 years ago and my bed was the last thing to take out. They lifted the mattress and box spring and there set my Chasey Lain pocket pussy. Both the guys looked at me, I smiled, and we all started laughing our asses off. Owned.

Of all the things in my apartment I forgot to pack... my pocket pussy.

The shame.

I like a guy that can laugh at his own...uh, mistakes.

boner 2.0 · 01-18-2006, 10:15 AM

i'm pretty sure she licked the hole

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 10:16 AM

The two police-chicks where pretty hot too!

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

Why in the world would you be embarrassed? Both those female officers have vibrators, no doubt. It's okay to have a sex toy. You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.

Come on dude, in a situation like that its fucking embarassing no matter how open-minded you are. Trust me.

JamesK2 · 01-18-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oracle Porn

every girl would get emberresed if a male cop goes thru their bag and finds a vibrator....

Yeah, it's comparable.

MickeyG · 01-18-2006, 10:22 AM

that is some funny shit.

spanky part 2 · 01-18-2006, 10:22 AM

My question is this. You are on your way to your girlfriends, but you are taking your fleshlight with you. There is something wrong with this story, but I don't know what.

CherryLipsRosa · 01-18-2006, 10:25 AM

i am sure that officer went and ordered one lol

polish_aristocrat · 01-18-2006, 10:29 AM

i'd definitely be embarassed too

well, i woudlnt even want a free fleshlight for that matter

boner 2.0 · 01-18-2006, 10:31 AM

was it a vagina or a butthole?

DWB · 01-18-2006, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronaldo

I like a guy that can laugh at his own...uh, mistakes.

I had 5 choices:

1) I laugh it off
2) I offer them 10 minutes alone with it
3) I run and jump out the window
4) I give them a demonstration
5) Kill them in cold blood and dump the bodies in the river

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spanky part 2

My question is this. You are on your way to your girlfriends, but you are taking your fleshlight with you. There is something wrong with this story, but I don't know what.

She wanted to see/feel it ^-^

WiredGuy · 01-18-2006, 11:16 AM

I'm surprised the officers knew what it was without opening it. Means they're doing a great job marketing it!
WG

The Duck · 01-18-2006, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

I'm surprised the officers knew what it was without opening it. Means they're doing a great job marketing it!
WG

It has a quite realistic pussy on it duh ^-^

Why · 01-18-2006, 11:43 AM

i wouldnt be ashamed of either thing. busted for some hash, or a fleshlight.... everyone has to get high, and off.

right?

Marcus Aurelius · 01-18-2006, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bjjb

youre more embarassed by a fleshlight than getting busted for drugs? lmao

You read my mind.

sfera · 01-18-2006, 11:46 AM

wow lol kinda funny but harsh

stickyfingerz · 01-18-2006, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oracle Porn

money, no everyone is a porn freak that can run around showing their dicks in public and fucking a fleshlight in a middle of a busy street.

Are you stalking me?

Vlad · 01-18-2006, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Happened last thursday, me and my friends got pulled over for a broken taillight and soon the cops realised that we where all stoned (except for the driver). Long story short we arrive at the police station and I have my bag with me, was heading for my girlfriends place to stay for a few days. Two female officers start to search my bag for contraband and soon enough they pick up 5g of hash. Thats not the worst part, the worts part comes now..

Now there are three officers in the room, two female one male, and they keep searching my bag. Almost all they way through the bag they pick up my fleshlight and the female cop holding it is like what the fuck, gross. I feel so fucking embarrased that I want to sink through the floor. As if that wasnt enough the cop calls other cops who are nearby to come look at the thing. Hilarious.

I should have hidden the stash in the fleshlight because they didnt bother to open it and check inside >(

When I got to my girlfriends house I trashed the fleshlight but kept the pussy part (I now use it to throw on walls, it sticks).

So, tell me one of your crazy FL stories..

pussy !

I'd hit the female officer with fleshlight !

Bird · 01-18-2006, 11:52 AM

Here at the office, We fling the pussy out of the holder too! Usually the against the walls or each other at the office.......That fucking thing is durable....If you turn the whole thing inside out it looks like a long uncircumsized dick.

reginaldo · 01-18-2006, 11:55 AM

thread bookmarked... thank you

jawanda · 01-18-2006, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Hands

Why the fuck did you let them search yout bag?

Edit: did they take you to the police station?

Dude at least read the FIRST post of the thread.

Jesus fuckin Christ.

-p

grumpy · 01-18-2006, 11:58 AM

Its time for you to move to......Holland.
You can walk around with the fleshlight on your dick smoking a joint a white powderd nose and nobody will bother you.

pornguy · 01-18-2006, 12:02 PM

I would have hit on the female officers. I would have told them that they could help me use it.

sumphatpimp · 01-18-2006, 12:03 PM

you suck at spam.
you have embarrassed Juicey D. Links to no end.
I wouldn't want to be you.

GlydeGirl · 01-18-2006, 12:12 PM

I remember getting pulled over by a couple of police when my guy and I were heading out to a BDSM play party. We had our gym bag packed with spankers, floggers, dildos, vibrators, condoms... you name it. The bag was so heavy that he carried one handle, I carried the other, and we walked down the street to the bus stop.

The cops pulled us over because they thought we had stolen property in the bag. When they questioned us, we explained that we were heading to a BDSM play party... long story short --- they chatted with us for a few moments, testing us on what the definition of BDSM was, what certain toys were for, and they finally let us go.

I think it was their most interesting encounter of the night! LOL

Baker Rd · 01-18-2006, 12:39 PM

Quote:

was it a vagina or a butthole?

was wondering the same thing... a used moca butthole would have been classic.

Istrijan · 01-18-2006, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Maybe where you live, but I live in stuck-up-everything-that-isnt-descent-is-fucked-country.

Oh really? Who's more open minded than people from your area?
I would have added few 0s to your fee.

01-18-2006, 09:36 AM	#1
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	So I got busted for a minor drug offence and the female police found my fleshlight.. Happened last thursday, me and my friends got pulled over for a broken taillight and soon the cops realised that we where all stoned (except for the driver). Long story short we arrive at the police station and I have my bag with me, was heading for my girlfriends place to stay for a few days. Two female officers start to search my bag for contraband and soon enough they pick up 5g of hash. Thats not the worst part, the worts part comes now.. Now there are three officers in the room, two female one male, and they keep searching my bag. Almost all they way through the bag they pick up my fleshlight and the female cop holding it is like what the fuck, gross. I feel so fucking embarrased that I want to sink through the floor. As if that wasnt enough the cop calls other cops who are nearby to come look at the thing. Hilarious. I should have hidden the stash in the fleshlight because they didnt bother to open it and check inside >( When I got to my girlfriends house I trashed the fleshlight but kept the pussy part (I now use it to throw on walls, it sticks). So, tell me one of your crazy FL stories.. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

01-18-2006, 09:39 AM	#3
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	lol fuck throwing it away.. next time put your drugs in it. If they start looking at it, make sure to warn them it was just used.. __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

01-18-2006, 09:40 AM	#5
jacked sperm tail Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: nj Posts: 11,019	that sucks man i'd be pretty embarrased to __________________ Got Cam Models? icq: 361-607-616

01-18-2006, 09:40 AM	#6
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	why did you trash it? __________________

01-18-2006, 10:16 AM	#25
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	The two police-chicks where pretty hot too! __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected] Last edited by The Duck; 01-18-2006 at 10:18 AM..

01-18-2006, 09:38 AM	#2
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	that's pretty rough.

01-18-2006, 09:39 AM	#4
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074	youre more embarassed by a fleshlight than getting busted for drugs? lmao

01-18-2006, 09:41 AM	#7
Dirty F Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 59,204	Did you get a fine for having hash with you?

01-18-2006, 09:43 AM	#11
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	Why in the world would you be embarrassed? Both those female officers have vibrators, no doubt. It's okay to have a sex toy. You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.

01-18-2006, 09:47 AM	#12
arg Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,164	That would be the ultimate for smuggling contraband. You could pack a fleshlight full of crack, smear yogurt on the top, and no way would airport security dig their fingers in to see what's inside. :-)

01-18-2006, 09:55 AM	#17
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	I hired movers about 10 years ago and my bed was the last thing to take out. They lifted the mattress and box spring and there set my Chasey Lain pocket pussy. Both the guys looked at me, I smiled, and we all started laughing our asses off. Owned. Of all the things in my apartment I forgot to pack... my pocket pussy. The shame.

01-18-2006, 09:59 AM	#19
Korban Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: moon Posts: 417	Why the fuck did you let them search yout bag? Edit: did they take you to the police station?

01-18-2006, 10:15 AM	#24
boner 2.0 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 10,970	i'm pretty sure she licked the hole

01-18-2006, 10:22 AM	#28
MickeyG Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: South Florida Posts: 4,134	that is some funny shit.

01-18-2006, 10:22 AM	#29
spanky part 2 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,981	My question is this. You are on your way to your girlfriends, but you are taking your fleshlight with you. There is something wrong with this story, but I don't know what.

01-18-2006, 10:25 AM	#30
CherryLipsRosa Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 3,603	i am sure that officer went and ordered one lol __________________ Rosalia M. ICQ.12150439 Skype. cherrylipsrosa

01-18-2006, 10:29 AM	#31
polish_aristocrat Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 40,377	i'd definitely be embarassed too well, i woudlnt even want a free fleshlight for that matter

01-18-2006, 10:31 AM	#32
boner 2.0 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 10,970	was it a vagina or a butthole?

01-18-2006, 11:16 AM	#35
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,482	I'm surprised the officers knew what it was without opening it. Means they're doing a great job marketing it! WG __________________ I play with Google. Last edited by WiredGuy; 01-18-2006 at 11:18 AM..

01-18-2006, 11:43 AM	#37
Why MFBA Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: PNW Posts: 7,230	i wouldnt be ashamed of either thing. busted for some hash, or a fleshlight.... everyone has to get high, and off. right?

01-18-2006, 11:46 AM	#39
sfera Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ICQ: 248877409 Posts: 8,597	wow lol kinda funny but harsh

01-18-2006, 11:52 AM	#42
Bird Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Stockton Posts: 4,365	Here at the office, We fling the pussy out of the holder too! Usually the against the walls or each other at the office.......That fucking thing is durable....If you turn the whole thing inside out it looks like a long uncircumsized dick. __________________ ICQ:268731675

01-18-2006, 11:55 AM	#43
reginaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 610	thread bookmarked... thank you

01-18-2006, 11:58 AM	#45
grumpy Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Holland Posts: 9,870	Its time for you to move to......Holland. You can walk around with the fleshlight on your dick smoking a joint a white powderd nose and nobody will bother you. __________________ Don't let greediness blur your vision \| You gotta let some shit slide icq - 441-456-888

01-18-2006, 12:02 PM	#46
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	I would have hit on the female officers. I would have told them that they could help me use it. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

01-18-2006, 12:03 PM	#47
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	you suck at spam. you have embarrassed Juicey D. Links to no end. I wouldn't want to be you.

01-18-2006, 12:12 PM	#48
GlydeGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,516	I remember getting pulled over by a couple of police when my guy and I were heading out to a BDSM play party. We had our gym bag packed with spankers, floggers, dildos, vibrators, condoms... you name it. The bag was so heavy that he carried one handle, I carried the other, and we walked down the street to the bus stop. The cops pulled us over because they thought we had stolen property in the bag. When they questioned us, we explained that we were heading to a BDSM play party... long story short --- they chatted with us for a few moments, testing us on what the definition of BDSM was, what certain toys were for, and they finally let us go. I think it was their most interesting encounter of the night! LOL