Best Way to DUMP A GIRL............... - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

DeloreanRider99 · 01-17-2006, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamageX

"Dating you made me realize that I'm gay."

HAHAHAHAA LMAO. I should of used that on my ex g/f.

adultchica · 01-17-2006, 03:49 PM

52 and mad views for the juiceman

Ramos · 01-17-2006, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPays

your pussy stinks, bye

DeloreanRider99 · 01-17-2006, 04:14 PM

/\ /\ that would of also worked on my ex g/f, because ITS TRUE!!!!

SirMoby · 01-17-2006, 04:15 PM

Try to get her to fulfill all of your most perverted sexual fantasies. Either she will do it and then it's cool to keep her around for a while or she'll think you're sick fuck and leave you alone forever. Either way you get what you want.

media · 01-17-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

What are you best lines or techniques?

-Yo (Insert girls name here) shit aint gonna work out.
-Yo (Insert girls name here) unless you swallow shit aint gonna work out

and the classic................

Its Not you its me............

My classic is:

"Hey girl, just think of it like this... There's this magical place in the sky, it's filled with alot of people, you're gonna be taking a trip there with me.. it's called Dump City!"

DWB · 01-17-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickkittens

*in walks woj*

26MLR · 01-30-2006, 08:27 AM

I've used the last one about 10 times.

adamneve · 01-30-2006, 08:32 AM

i really want your mother

I LOVE Little Brown Asses · 01-30-2006, 08:35 AM

fuck her sister. or her brother.

chase · 01-30-2006, 08:50 AM

Stick it in her ass without asking. If she doesn't leave you the first time, try, try again. *grin*

kernelpanic · 01-30-2006, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamageX

"Dating you made me realize that I'm gay."

Stuntpig · 01-30-2006, 08:57 AM

I found someone to do it for me!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Breakup-Letter-S...cm dZViewItem

Stuntpig · 01-30-2006, 09:35 AM

Dear Audrey,

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during
our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the
wounded little boy in me talking.

Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my
fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me.
I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost
me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I
don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the
first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our
hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says...
"There's no one like you, Audrey." I look for you in the eyes and
breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home
with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the
depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those
perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating
can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe
and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I
sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the
stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.
What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well,
in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her
a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately
attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.
I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt,
I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It
wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger,
but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel
so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because
you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing
feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you.

And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that
single mum we met at Pontins last year? Well, she dropped by last week
with a pan of lasagne. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without
a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not
the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're
banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in
the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does
when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the
kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on
your grandmother' old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle
it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes
me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the
mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we
never used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order.
I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.
She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general.
She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is. So we're
drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage
girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she
looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And
then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that gets
me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and
how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you
see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon
ring, all I can do is think of you?

It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could
start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?

I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know,
otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is.

Steve

Lace · 01-30-2006, 09:38 AM

Just disappear to South Africa for a few months, she'll get the picture.

greygoose · 01-30-2006, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Granger

Take a dump on her at night when she is asleep and just leave.

make sure u eat lots of corn first.

LA Mike · 01-30-2006, 10:48 AM

Open the car door and kick real hard :P

DWB · 01-30-2006, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I LOVE Little Brown Asses

fuck her sister. or her brother.

i like your style.

Barefootsies · 01-30-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickkittens

*in walks woj*

Screaming · 01-30-2006, 11:54 AM

Fuck her sister.

johnnyhey · 01-30-2006, 12:08 PM

go like sly stallone and break up via fed-ex. he sent jennifer flavin a fed-ex letter stating what was up.

very klassy

Swanks · 01-30-2006, 12:23 PM

I just tell them "It was fun and all but im young ive got to get around i cant be tied down". Its about valentines now as well, time to dump and pick up another after.

SteveLightspeed · 01-30-2006, 12:34 PM

Ask her if you can enter her in a "scooching contest" --- makes 99.9% of all women WANT to leave!

calibra · 01-30-2006, 12:48 PM

Tell her: "I fucked your mom yesterday. She's the hottest babe I've ever had"!

Big_Papi · 01-30-2006, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by media

My classic is:

"Hey girl, just think of it like this... There's this magical place in the sky, it's filled with alot of people, you're gonna be taking a trip there with me.. it's called Dump City!"

Dump City...

Dre

profligate · 01-30-2006, 01:38 PM

just be honest and tell her your PO violated you and you have to finish your manslaughter bid.

Juicy D. Links · 10-27-2006, 10:16 PM

heeheheeheeheh

CaptainHowdy · 10-27-2006, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamageX

"Dating you made me realize that I'm gay."

ROFL

!!

starpimps · 10-27-2006, 10:50 PM

just give her a nice little text message
"its over, im gay"
done and done..

DrunkEric · 10-28-2006, 12:25 AM

Over AIM. I was dealing with a real psycho (had every email,AIM convo saved to disk and ever message on her answering machine saved) so I felt that was the safest way to do it.

dynastoned · 10-28-2006, 12:27 AM

just quit answering her calls.

L-Pink · 10-28-2006, 01:24 AM

My brother gave an ex-girlfriend a $500. paid invoice from a local moving company. We still laugh about that.

s9ann0 · 10-28-2006, 02:53 AM

one day when I grow up and get a girlfriend I'll try all these on her

Lykos · 10-28-2006, 03:31 AM

Just cheat her but make her see that,or tell her u r gay

HighSociety · 10-28-2006, 03:35 AM

change your locks and hide behind the couch

HighSociety · 10-28-2006, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirMoby

Try to get her to fulfill all of your most perverted sexual fantasies. Either she will do it and then it's cool to keep her around for a while or she'll think you're sick fuck and leave you alone forever. Either way you get what you want.

hahaha the best answer so far

01-17-2006, 03:49 PM	#52
adultchica Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: usa Posts: 5,141	52 and mad views for the juiceman __________________

01-17-2006, 04:14 PM	#54
DeloreanRider99 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: San Diego, Ca Posts: 269	/\ /\ that would of also worked on my ex g/f, because ITS TRUE!!!! __________________ [email protected] ICQ 283942371 Free Partner Accounts Kelly Knows Best

01-30-2006, 08:32 AM	#59
adamneve LIVING LA VITA LOCA Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Internet Posts: 13,327	i really want your mother __________________ Telegram: @adamsc23

01-30-2006, 08:35 AM	#60
I LOVE Little Brown Asses Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Paradise Posts: 1,047	fuck her sister. or her brother. __________________ ladyboygold.com \| joonmali.com \| lilykoh.com \| ashakumara.com \| girlslovetoys.com POTD/MOTD/GOTD \| Geo-IP Fansigns \| Custom Gallery Builder \| RSS Feeds 60% Revshare \| 10% Webmaster Referral \| Console Free \| 100% EXCLUSIVE \| ICQ: 194519692

01-30-2006, 08:50 AM	#61
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	Stick it in her ass without asking. If she doesn't leave you the first time, try, try again. grin __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

01-17-2006, 04:15 PM	#55
SirMoby Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 583	Try to get her to fulfill all of your most perverted sexual fantasies. Either she will do it and then it's cool to keep her around for a while or she'll think you're sick fuck and leave you alone forever. Either way you get what you want.

01-30-2006, 08:27 AM	#58
26MLR Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: USA Posts: 401	I've used the last one about 10 times.

01-30-2006, 08:57 AM	#63
Stuntpig Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 299	I found someone to do it for me! http://cgi.ebay.com/Breakup-Letter-S...cm dZViewItem

01-30-2006, 09:35 AM	#64
Stuntpig Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 299	Dear Audrey, I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Pontins last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagne. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother' old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know, otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is. Steve

01-30-2006, 09:38 AM	#65
Lace Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,116	Just disappear to South Africa for a few months, she'll get the picture. __________________ Your Paysite Partner Strength In Numbers! StickyDollars \| RadicalCash \| KennysPennies \| HomegrownCash

01-30-2006, 10:48 AM	#67
LA Mike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 3,056	Open the car door and kick real hard :P

01-30-2006, 11:54 AM	#70
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	Fuck her sister. __________________

01-30-2006, 12:08 PM	#71
johnnyhey Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: los angeles Posts: 1,172	go like sly stallone and break up via fed-ex. he sent jennifer flavin a fed-ex letter stating what was up. very klassy __________________ CandyDreams.com shooter for hire info[at]candydreams.com ICQ:96563638 AIM: johnnyhey

01-30-2006, 12:34 PM	#73
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Ask her if you can enter her in a "scooching contest" --- makes 99.9% of all women WANT to leave! __________________ Abra-cadabra!

01-30-2006, 12:48 PM	#74
calibra Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,357	Tell her: "I fucked your mom yesterday. She's the hottest babe I've ever had"! __________________ GetCyberCash.com

01-30-2006, 01:38 PM	#76
profligate Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 76	just be honest and tell her your PO violated you and you have to finish your manslaughter bid.

10-27-2006, 10:16 PM	#77
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	heeheheeheeheh

10-27-2006, 10:50 PM	#79
starpimps Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: internets Posts: 6,954	just give her a nice little text message "its over, im gay" done and done..

10-28-2006, 12:25 AM	#80
DrunkEric Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Allentown PA Posts: 154	Over AIM. I was dealing with a real psycho (had every email,AIM convo saved to disk and ever message on her answering machine saved) so I felt that was the safest way to do it.

10-28-2006, 12:27 AM	#81
dynastoned mmm yeah! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: roseville, ca Posts: 5,061	just quit answering her calls.

10-28-2006, 01:24 AM	#82
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	My brother gave an ex-girlfriend a $500. paid invoice from a local moving company. We still laugh about that.

10-28-2006, 02:53 AM	#83
s9ann0 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Boston Posts: 4,873	one day when I grow up and get a girlfriend I'll try all these on her

10-28-2006, 03:31 AM	#84
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,030	Just cheat her but make her see that,or tell her u r gay __________________

10-28-2006, 03:35 AM	#85
HighSociety Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,786	change your locks and hide behind the couch __________________ http://www.highsociety.com http://www.playgirl.com http://www.cheri.com Jonathan "JC" Maldini ICQ: 223 643