My biological father owes 17.5 years of back child support.

Way over $100,000



Mabye I should go find him...his name is listed in the white pages...

I guarantee you I have more family court time than your cousin and Alien combined.

Unfortunatley in some cases judges completely ignore the paternity test and stick the man with child support anyway.

What... do you want a cookie or something? You were dead fucking wrong in this situation. Why not rebutt to my post above that? Were you wrong? Please... What you quoted had NOTHING to do with you at all. It was about people's opinions and how they differ depending upon whos side you are one.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Usually that's if the man has already accepted the child as his own.

I have NEVER heard of that. Where does that happen?

I live in california. If that matters. And i am no expert on anything, just what i know from friends' experiences.

I paid from the day we divorced, she doesn't spend a dime of it on my daughter, and at the moment I don't even get to see my little girl :(

Why not?

Okay let's rebut your post.

Is this your cousins ex wife or just some ex chick he was banging?

If it was his ex wife did she divorce him before she left? Or did she just leave and not get divorced until years later?

So he pays child support and feels so sad when the kid shows up in old tattered clothes and shoes.

Why doesn't he pay more than his child support and go out and buy her new clothes and shoes when she shows up?

Which is my point. People bitch about paying 15-30% when if the kid lived with them they would be paying 100%.

I'm sure your response will be now that he of course does buy her new clothes every time she shows up...I'm sure your cousin's a gem.

50 deadbeats

My wife is paying $500 a month for her daughter here in PA. The daughter lives with her dad since the school districts are MUCH better where he lives and for the longest time would battle us in court for visitation that its not a good idea. ( He didnt like my wife getting remarried, its a I cant have you, no one will kinda asshole )

The courts here take the child's point into view, now that she's 14 she can pick and choose... so, what does dad do?...

You can go to see your mom at her house *or* go with me to Great Adventure ( amusement park ) ... at 13, what would you take?

This has been going on time and time again with these idiots and no matter what shit they put us thru, I'll pay and hopefully one day have her see the light and at least be able to talk to her mother without that being followed with legal papers.

Some men are really fucked up absolutely, when it comes to letting go of the past and allowing people to move on. The one fact most dont realize when using kids as pawns... you dont get this time back of their childhood.

Only 4 more years until she can contact us on her own, My door will be forever open to her.

I don't know much about child support matters but I think most men do pay child support. The whole 'dead beat dad' thing is over rated.

Many times also, I think fathers try to see their kids but the mothers who generally have custody make it difficult for them to see the kids. The situation spirals downward from there.

I live in TX...Harris county -- Houston, to be exact...and THAT means everything :2 cents:

If things are going shitty with your marriage and you have kids, move to Houston for a bit...6 months...then file first :thumbsup

Yealp anyone that can own up to their own kids are worthless men/women

Tom

Yep the manipulation that goes on during these struggles are absolutely bizarre.

I saw it from both sides, my father and mother...they both did and said some really fucked up shit.

Another thing, these guys who complain that their kids show up in old clothes etc.
Like I said they are paying 15-30% of their income which could be as little as $200-$300 a month for their one kid.

If a mom cannot make a decent living, that $300 a month may just have them breaking even. Just because the mom or dad gets child support does not mean that they are not living at or below the poverty line.

As bizarre as it sounds, it happens all the time. If there is one father listed on the birth certificate, and later it's found that another actually fathered the child, many times the courts continue to view the birth certificate father as the legal father.

Yep, which is why any man who is just sleeping around gets that call should have a paternity test done before he accepts responsiblity for that child.

Because her mom says so

Did the court make a ruling about your visitation or did the court leave that all up to the mother?!?

Why does anyone even bother responding in this thread? This is Eros' thread - anything posted that doesn't agree with him will just be cut down and called bullshit. No one's opinion's mean jack shit unless you are on his side. Pathetic actually that this is a "discussion" forum :error

I am not in disagreement with eros...and I am here to pad my post count just like everyone else :upsidedow

Boo fucking hoo.

You asked me to rebut your post...so I did.

The point man is I don't care how much your cousin is paying and I honestly don't care what his ex is doing wrong.

His responsibility does not end at the signing of a check or at his disdain for his ex's life...that's just where it begins.

Do you not get that?

Let me slow it down for you.

He could be paying $1,000 a month...if he's making $3,000 a month that's what would be going towards her care and well being if she lived with him.

He could be paying $300 a month, and just because his ex is a bitch, a drug addict whatever doesn't mean he shouldn't pick up the slack if his daughter needs it.

He may very well do that...good for him if he does.

Court says I'm entitled to see my girl. But she thinks otherwise, and here in The Netherlands, women can get away with it..

"He could be paying $300 a month, and just because his ex is a bitch, a drug addict whatever doesn't mean he shouldn't pick up the slack if his daughter needs it."

Well thats where reform laws in Custody/Child Support must take place.
That money is supposed to be considered for use on the siblings, but generally it is not nor is it required by anymeans.

The Ex Wives out there are able to spend the money any way they see fit.
I can't see how the check is benefitting a kid if Daddy is paying for mommies drug habit.

Frankly -- you're the one that's retarded.

The national wage average is 35,648.55. As an "average" wage earner, you would be placed in the 25+ tax bracket on the hook for $5,580. Adding to that your 15-30%, which places another $5,350 or $10,700 on average joe. Add to that state/local taxes which normally total about 5% or $1,800.

Out of $35,700, average joe has either $23K/year or $18.5K/year to live on...

Can they get away with it because no one has the balls to fight the women there or is it genuinely the courts won't enforce their own rulings?

Your point is valid and invalid to some degree.

The reason I say that is that some guy sends $300 in child support..he all of a sudden thinks he better see $300 worth of whatever spent on his child the next time he gets visitation.

That $300 is not just for clothes, toys etc...It's for rent, utilities, food, healthcare..things a lot of ex's don't want to see.

If the ex truly has a drug habit and it can be proven, then the parent should be exhausting all their resources to get custody of that child.

My point above was that just because you think your ex is being a bad parent, does not mean you don't have to pay more than what you do in child support...your financial reponsibility does not end with what the court tells you, you have to pay.

Technically, legally yes it does. But morally it doesn't.

Be above average then! Who can fucking live off of $35k anyway?

No -- it wouldn't... Christ, you're dense.

LOL so. If you had a kid then 100% of that would be going to taking care of your child.

dude, I have been taking care of my nieces on and off for 11 years...my brother in law out of the last 15 years has paid the equivalent of about 2 years in child support.

I know what the costs are involved in taking care of a child, and even if he gave us the $350 to "help" that would just cover food, and 1 utility...while I pay the rest of the bills..that does not include clothing, school activities, school uniforms, health care, etc..etc..etc.

Who said I'm not???

I'm just using averages and statisics to point out the flaws in an argument.

You're not using shit.

If I was making $36K a year with two kids, that $36K a year would go towards providing them the essentials...that's not debateable.

I may not spend the entire $36K a year, but if I had to I would.

Now if I was making $36K a year with two kids that lived with their mother and had to spend $350 a month on child support then the most I have at risk is $4,200 if that's all I spend on them.

What do you not get? And you call me dense...LOL

No -- it wouldn't and doesn't.

Thanks for playing.


If 100% went towards taking care of the "children", I'd have no 401K, no IRA, no Roth IRA, no car, and wouldn't eat or drink.

dumb shit, taking care of your children would include paying for retirement, providing a car for necessary travel, buying food and drink

Some states have mandatory percentages of income they use for calculating child support. Some states take both parents income levels into consideration when calculating child support. Frankly, it depends on the state. The one time I tried to get child support enforced by two different states, they basically told me to forget it, not going to happen, since it takes sometimes months of employment in a new place for the state to catch the fact that the SSN matches a deadbeat dad, and to start garnishing wages. Most of the true deadbeats will simply quit and go to work somewhere else as soon as the garnishes start coming out.

My son will be 15 in March, and for the last 13 years, I've paid all his bills. I'm a lot luckier than most women, that's for sure. If I was a secretary or a teacher or something like that, I don't know what the hell I'd have done to keep a roof over our heads and mac and cheese on the table.

The child support system needs a reform at the lowest level and the highest... seems to me that these are the non-custodial parent situations where the shit is the worst.

My dad stayed behind on his child support when we were kids, I don't know how my mom managed, since she was a restaurant manager. If I'd worked the long hours she did to support us, I'd have probably gone nuts. She was lucky that we were old enough not to require daycare or babysitters or anything like that, otherwise she probably wouldn't have been able to support us. This was before the days of wage garnishment, and my dad always seemed to be able to go on vacations, trips, things like that. Alot of the times he took us along, and we had fun, but looking back, I think we'd have been way better served with my mom getting her child support instead of us going on vacation.

the courts won't enforce their own rulings in these cases.

I'm offline in a sec, laterz

Here is where your argument falls apart...

Yep, seen that a lot too.

My father got custody of us, as well as the house and furnishings.

My mother took all of the furnishings and left us with nothing. *getting revenge at my dad of course but making us suffer too*

The courts would not enforce their ruling.

My mother was never forced to pay child support, the judge just laughed when the lawyer requested it and said.."I would never make a woman pay child support." Of course this was 1976.

My mother emptied out all the bank accounts too, left us broke, collapsed my dads business, she even borrowed money from his parents weeks before she bailed.

She would come pick us up, and decide to keep us. Not really going to keep us, but make my dad have to pay to go to court and get a court order for the sherrif to come and get us.

The courts never punished her for this either.

Divorce, it's a wonderful thing for families...LOL