JurySummons - GoFuckYourself.com

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 06:44 PM

Mother fucker..

I just got a Jury Summons letter to do Jury duty.

I called them to try to get out of it, and thenI asked how they got my name, they said they selected me randomly via the Voter Registration list.

I suggest you inquire how to get off the Voter Registration list asap, and or never register to Vote in order to avoid this painful Civic Duty.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 06:46 PM

I guess when they do the interview when they select the jury for the trial, Ill come off as the angry, Ive been a victum of the law person.

Maybe they will dismiss me.

Juicy D. Links · 10-24-2005, 06:46 PM

dude i can get you of it

Juicy D. Links · 10-24-2005, 06:48 PM

i fucked this Judges daughter in Portland area, she said i was a good fuck.

Send me the info she owes me a favor

Juicy D. Links · 10-24-2005, 06:48 PM

Man i pumped her poonani to oblivion yo

DatingGold · 10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

I guess when they do the interview when they select the jury for the trial, Ill come off as the angry, Ive been a victum of the law person.

Maybe they will dismiss me.

I feel your pain, I have to go tomorrow at 8:00am.. I'm just gonna say if the cop arrested them, they must be guilty.

sonofsam · 10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

tell them you have a fetish for female lawyers, so you will have a hard time paying attention to the trial because you will keep picturing it turning into a hardcore lawyer gangbang

Spunky · 10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

Paint a swastika on your forehead and wear a Nazi costume..they will boot you pretty quick

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

I got off by saying that the case struck too close to home and that I couldn't judge in a fair manner..... That was after sitting in a court room for 6 hours though until I had my chance to approach the lawyers for questioning.

Most miserable day of my life.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

i fucked this Judges daughter in Portland area, she said i was a good fuck.

Send me the info she owes me a favor

Ok..

Lets make this happen..

Ill give you a Running Back for it.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DatingGold

I feel your pain, I have to go tomorrow at 8:00am.. I'm just gonna say if the cop arrested them, they must be guilty.

Ha!!! I like that one!!

I think Ill use that one too!

Ill also act stoned..

Hmmm.. Maybe I wont act.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shermsshack

I got off by saying that the case struck too close to home and that I couldn't judge in a fair manner..... That was after sitting in a court room for 6 hours though until I had my chance to approach the lawyers for questioning.

Most miserable day of my life.

6 hours??

WTF..

They better get this done faster than that..

WiredGuy · 10-24-2005, 07:06 PM

Just tell them you're self employed and you can't leave your work due to contractual obligations. If that doesn't work, just tell don't worry, I can pick out a guilty person just by looking at them

WG

adultchica · 10-24-2005, 07:08 PM

That sucks! I hope u get out of it. My Dad got picked for jury duty, and ended up getting picked for the trial! At first he was mad, but then he was glad when it was all over. It was for a murder trial at the federal level.

Furious_Male · 10-24-2005, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DatingGold

I feel your pain, I have to go tomorrow at 8:00am.. I'm just gonna say if the cop arrested them, they must be guilty.

They know better then that. They see through it. It wont work.

The best bet is to claim a medical condition that can't be verified. Panic Disorder works well. "I do not have a problem doing my civic duty but I can not guarantee I will not have a panic attack and disrupt the process".

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Furious_Male

They know better then that. They see through it. It wont work.

The best bet is to claim a medical condition that can't be verified. Panic Disorder works well. "I do not have a problem doing my civic duty but I can not guarantee I will not have a panic attack and disrupt the process".

Hmm Panic attack..

Hmmmmmmmm.

Houdini · 10-24-2005, 07:44 PM

I got one on Friday, I have to call in two weeks to see if I have to go. In California, they get the list from the DMV, so you can't get out of it. I actually don't mind if I get picked, I think it would be pretty interesting.

Rochard · 10-24-2005, 07:48 PM

In big black magic marker.... write across the application.... that you are a pornographer and you do not have the morals and values to serve on a jury. They'll remove your name from their list.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 08:05 PM

Are there any hot chicks ever at this thing?

sumphatpimp · 10-24-2005, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

Are there any hot chicks ever at this thing?

yeah, 50 and 60 year olds who look like Geritol past them by.

just tell them you are an internet pornographer, that should do it.
worked for me.
that and the fact I was up for obscenity concerning one of my adult bookstores.
doubt if they will ever call me again.
broke my heart too.

ronaldo · 10-24-2005, 10:07 PM

Tell them you have a criminal record and you're outta there. Seriously.

However, if you DON'T, and they CHECK, here's a few more...

-I can tell if people are guilty by looking at them.
-I'm attracted to you, your honor.
-If a police officer told me I was a bug, I would believe him.
-My religion prohibits me from sitting near other people.
-Would I have to bathe?
-Can each of my personalities vote in deliberations?
-Laws are for sissies.
-Your marshall's handcuffs are turning me on.
-I'm allergic to justice.
-I'm deaf. (Answer questions thereafter by cupping hand and shouting "What?")
-A pit bull named [defendant's first name] just killed my baby.
-I have Tourette's Syndrome, you fucking asshole.
-I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence.
-Have you ever done this, your honor? (Chop off your ear with a razor).
-An eye for an eye? I say we take his head for an eye! (Point at defendant).

Since those will probably fail, and you'll have to serve, at least have some fun....

-Raise your hand during witness testimony and ask if it would have been appropriate for the defense to object at that point.
-Come for duty as a TRUE Scotsman in a kilt. Every 15 minutes play a tape of "Lord of the Dance" and dance along SHOWING everyone you're a true Scotsman.
-Turn your seat away from the courtroom. When questioned, tell them the jury foreman put you on a timeout.
-Stand up and request a sidebar.
-Stare at the defendant and run your finger across your neck as if you're slicing your throat.
-Wink and blow kisses at the prosecution. Gender is irrelevant.
-Have pizza delivered to the jury box as per "Fast Times at Ridgemont High".
-During awkward pauses by witnesses, start to hum the "Jeopardy" theme song out loud...add a loud "BUZZ" when they finally answer and say, "I'm sorry, that's incorrect."
-Every time there's a female witness, lean over to another juror (always the same one) and say, "Boneprone fucked her."

Note-be sure to do these during your first hour of the trial or before you're held in contempt of court...whichever comes first.

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronaldo

Tell them you have a criminal record and you're outta there. Seriously.

I do..

And I was convicted in this Court..

I was on Probation for 4 years and just got off my probation last MONTH!! September 21st...

The last time I was in that Court it was when I was convicted..

Too funny. Now they want me back in so I can stick it to another.

Actually im kinda looking forward to this now.

LiveDose · 10-24-2005, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

I guess when they do the interview when they select the jury for the trial, Ill come off as the angry, Ive been a victum of the law person.

Maybe they will dismiss me.

Tell them you are a buddhist and cannot pass judgement on anyone.

newbreed · 10-24-2005, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronaldo

-Every time there's a female witness, lean over to another juror (always the same one) and say, "Boneprone fucked her."

the boy · 10-24-2005, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

I do..

And I was convicted in this Court..

I was on Probation for 4 years and just got off my probation last MONTH!! September 21st...

The last time I was in that Court it was when I was convicted..

Too funny. Now they want me back in so I can stick it to another.

Actually im kinda looking forward to this now.

what did you do? .... spill the beans....

Babagirls · 10-24-2005, 11:19 PM

i got out of mine a couple months ago.

just write them a letter saying that your income comes from being self employed and time off would damage your income severly.

i did that and im off the list for 5 yrs

DatingGold · 10-24-2005, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Furious_Male

They know better then that. They see through it. It wont work.

The best bet is to claim a medical condition that can't be verified. Panic Disorder works well. "I do not have a problem doing my civic duty but I can not guarantee I will not have a panic attack and disrupt the process".

haha.. I do get anxious and shit..

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the boy

what did you do? .... spill the beans....

It's old news..

Most the old school GFYer's know...

It was a car chase.. Seems now like a long long long time ago.

And before you jump the gun, no I wasnt drunk or on drugs..

Just your avarage car chase with City Police, Country Sherif's, State Troopers, and the County Helicopter..

About 8 cars in all, a chopper and an off duty elected official.

Oh yeah, and A Corvette. Mine.

Chase was from city to city, and jumping city lines. State and County had to get involved.

the boy · 10-24-2005, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

It's old news..

Most the old school GFYer's know...

It was a car chase.. Seems now like a long long long time ago.

And before you jump the gun, no I wasnt drunk or on drugs..

Just your avarage car chase with City Police, Country Sherif's, State Troopers, and the County Helicopter..

About 8 cars in all, a chopper and an off duty elected official.

Oh yeah, and A Corvette. Mine.

Chase was from city to city, and jumping city lines. State and County had to get involved.

so.. you just ran for no reason?.... weird

boneprone · 10-24-2005, 11:59 PM

For love of the game.

boneprone · 10-25-2005, 12:00 AM

I had to enroll in some Anger Management courses thereafter as part of my probation..

About 2 weeks worth of classes with wife beaters, fighters, and rage mongours..

After that I became pretty mellow of a lad..

Im pretty mellow in general..

But as most people know, those mellow easy going guys that never ever get mad like myself, when we do get mad that once in a blue moon, it's bad.. It becomes a major snap..

I had a snap..

And I was in a Vette.. And had some cops chasing me.

I figured I could loose em..

I was wrong.

je_rome · 10-25-2005, 03:58 AM

Maybe it's not so bad, but I hope whatever you're planning works.

boneprone · 10-25-2005, 09:32 AM

I just submitted the the packet saying I will be attending..

Then I'll see if I can get out of it during the interview.

See if I can scare em.

Luc · 10-25-2005, 10:49 AM

the easiest way to get off it, assuming you run your own business is to tell them that by missing a day of work your business can potentially suffer loses which may result in the business going under.

if you read the shit closely there is a disclaimer for that. i've had a few of them and got out each one by calling em up and telling them that shit. of course, if you don't run your shit don't say you do.

pornguy · 10-25-2005, 11:01 AM

Just make it sound like the cops have ruffed you up a bit, and then say that you believe that anyone who has been arrested is NOT guilty.

Phoenix · 10-25-2005, 11:03 AM

just be openly racist in front of them.

if it is a shite person..say shit like..payback is a bitch for slavery eh?

or if it is a black person..say shit like...payback is a bitch..or just scream i hate !@#$$%%

if it is asian....im sure you get the picture

crockett · 10-25-2005, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneprone

Mother fucker..

I just got a Jury Summons letter to do Jury duty.

I called them to try to get out of it, and thenI asked how they got my name, they said they selected me randomly via the Voter Registration list.

I suggest you inquire how to get off the Voter Registration list asap, and or never register to Vote in order to avoid this painful Civic Duty.

Just go with a pancake on your head.. shouldn't have any problems getting out like that.

PS the racist shit never works.. judge's have been dealing with that excuse for ever.

10-24-2005, 06:44 PM	#1
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	JurySummons Mother fucker.. I just got a Jury Summons letter to do Jury duty. I called them to try to get out of it, and thenI asked how they got my name, they said they selected me randomly via the Voter Registration list. I suggest you inquire how to get off the Voter Registration list asap, and or never register to Vote in order to avoid this painful Civic Duty. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

10-24-2005, 06:46 PM	#2
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	I guess when they do the interview when they select the jury for the trial, Ill come off as the angry, Ive been a victum of the law person. Maybe they will dismiss me. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM	#7
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	tell them you have a fetish for female lawyers, so you will have a hard time paying attention to the trial because you will keep picturing it turning into a hardcore lawyer gangbang __________________ I like turtles.

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM	#8
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	Paint a swastika on your forehead and wear a Nazi costume..they will boot you pretty quick __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-24-2005, 07:06 PM	#13
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,486	Just tell them you're self employed and you can't leave your work due to contractual obligations. If that doesn't work, just tell don't worry, I can pick out a guilty person just by looking at them WG __________________ I play with Google.

10-24-2005, 06:46 PM	#3
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	dude i can get you of it

10-24-2005, 06:48 PM	#4
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	i fucked this Judges daughter in Portland area, she said i was a good fuck. Send me the info she owes me a favor

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM	#9
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	I got off by saying that the case struck too close to home and that I couldn't judge in a fair manner..... That was after sitting in a court room for 6 hours though until I had my chance to approach the lawyers for questioning. Most miserable day of my life.

10-24-2005, 07:08 PM	#14
adultchica Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: usa Posts: 5,141	That sucks! I hope u get out of it. My Dad got picked for jury duty, and ended up getting picked for the trial! At first he was mad, but then he was glad when it was all over. It was for a murder trial at the federal level. __________________

10-24-2005, 07:44 PM	#17
Houdini Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: SoCal Posts: 1,651	I got one on Friday, I have to call in two weeks to see if I have to go. In California, they get the list from the DMV, so you can't get out of it. I actually don't mind if I get picked, I think it would be pretty interesting.

10-24-2005, 07:48 PM	#18
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 74,294	In big black magic marker.... write across the application.... that you are a pornographer and you do not have the morals and values to serve on a jury. They'll remove your name from their list. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

10-24-2005, 08:05 PM	#19
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	Are there any hot chicks ever at this thing? __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

10-24-2005, 10:07 PM	#21
ronaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ#: 272000271 Posts: 5,475	Tell them you have a criminal record and you're outta there. Seriously. However, if you DON'T, and they CHECK, here's a few more... -I can tell if people are guilty by looking at them. -I'm attracted to you, your honor. -If a police officer told me I was a bug, I would believe him. -My religion prohibits me from sitting near other people. -Would I have to bathe? -Can each of my personalities vote in deliberations? -Laws are for sissies. -Your marshall's handcuffs are turning me on. -I'm allergic to justice. -I'm deaf. (Answer questions thereafter by cupping hand and shouting "What?") -A pit bull named [defendant's first name] just killed my baby. -I have Tourette's Syndrome, you fucking asshole. -I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence. -Have you ever done this, your honor? (Chop off your ear with a razor). -An eye for an eye? I say we take his head for an eye! (Point at defendant). Since those will probably fail, and you'll have to serve, at least have some fun.... -Raise your hand during witness testimony and ask if it would have been appropriate for the defense to object at that point. -Come for duty as a TRUE Scotsman in a kilt. Every 15 minutes play a tape of "Lord of the Dance" and dance along SHOWING everyone you're a true Scotsman. -Turn your seat away from the courtroom. When questioned, tell them the jury foreman put you on a timeout. -Stand up and request a sidebar. -Stare at the defendant and run your finger across your neck as if you're slicing your throat. -Wink and blow kisses at the prosecution. Gender is irrelevant. -Have pizza delivered to the jury box as per "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". -During awkward pauses by witnesses, start to hum the "Jeopardy" theme song out loud...add a loud "BUZZ" when they finally answer and say, "I'm sorry, that's incorrect." -Every time there's a female witness, lean over to another juror (always the same one) and say, "Boneprone fucked her." Note-be sure to do these during your first hour of the trial or before you're held in contempt of court...whichever comes first.

10-24-2005, 11:19 PM	#26
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	i got out of mine a couple months ago. just write them a letter saying that your income comes from being self employed and time off would damage your income severly. i did that and im off the list for 5 yrs __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

10-24-2005, 11:59 PM	#30
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	For love of the game. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

10-25-2005, 12:00 AM	#31
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	I had to enroll in some Anger Management courses thereafter as part of my probation.. About 2 weeks worth of classes with wife beaters, fighters, and rage mongours.. After that I became pretty mellow of a lad.. Im pretty mellow in general.. But as most people know, those mellow easy going guys that never ever get mad like myself, when we do get mad that once in a blue moon, it's bad.. It becomes a major snap.. I had a snap.. And I was in a Vette.. And had some cops chasing me. I figured I could loose em.. I was wrong. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids. Last edited by boneprone; 10-25-2005 at 12:01 AM..

10-25-2005, 03:58 AM	#32
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	Maybe it's not so bad, but I hope whatever you're planning works. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

10-25-2005, 09:32 AM	#33
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	I just submitted the the packet saying I will be attending.. Then I'll see if I can get out of it during the interview. See if I can scare em. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

10-25-2005, 10:49 AM	#34
Luc Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 1,130	the easiest way to get off it, assuming you run your own business is to tell them that by missing a day of work your business can potentially suffer loses which may result in the business going under. if you read the shit closely there is a disclaimer for that. i've had a few of them and got out each one by calling em up and telling them that shit. of course, if you don't run your shit don't say you do. __________________ » Looking for Type-in domais? Page Rank domains? Alexa domains? Popular domains? » Domain Research Tool can scan hundreds of thousands of domains to find whatever you're looking for. » Auto-appraise domains and send automated domain offers in bulk with just one click. » Full support for Proxy Servers and International Overture. Try it Free.

10-25-2005, 11:01 AM	#35
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Just make it sound like the cops have ruffed you up a bit, and then say that you believe that anyone who has been arrested is NOT guilty. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

10-25-2005, 11:03 AM	#36
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,465	just be openly racist in front of them. if it is a shite person..say shit like..payback is a bitch for slavery eh? or if it is a black person..say shit like...payback is a bitch..or just scream i hate !@#$$%% if it is asian....im sure you get the picture __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io