AOL's new tactic for keeping people from canceling: fear - GoFuckYourself.com

SuckOnThis · 09-14-2005, 01:31 PM

This is fucking hilarious, you would think with all the FTC fines they would learn their lesson. I just called to cancel an AOL account that I never use and it went like this.

Me: I'm calling to cancel my account.

AOL: Sure, I can help you with that. May I ask why you are canceling?

Me: Because I never use it.

AOL: I have to tell you, it would be very unwise for you to cancel.

Me: Why's that?

AOL: Because without our new award winning security software you will subject yourself to hackers and viruses in no time.

Me: Oh really?

AOL: Definitely. I see that you use a high speed connection, which means you are constantly connected to the internet and your IP address always stays the same. A huge recipe for hackers and viruses. Our new version 9.0 has security features in place to prevent that.

Me: Thats kinda scary.

AOL: I see that you are not using our latest version, may I ask why?

Me: Uhhh, because I never use it.

AOL: I'm willing to bet you already have viruses on your computer then, without our newest software you are a sitting duck.

Me: I'm not sure what a virus does, can you explain?

AOL: Has your computer ever locked up?

Me: Sometimes.

AOL: Yep. Ever been on a website and had popups?

Me: Popups? No, I've never heard my computer make popping noises.

AOL: No, have you ever been on a website and another website open in another window?

Me: Yes! Now that you mention it everytime I go to my favorite christian site a site called suckmydick.com comes up. Is that you guys doing that?

AOL: Not at all. Thats a virus. Thats why you need our software. I highly recommend you download version 9.0 and our security features will remove all viruses from your computer.

Me: Well to be honest, I'm starting to kinda like suckmydick.com

AOL: Look, I really want to help you. I'll give you 3 months free onto your account, if anything just so you can remove all the viruses.

Me: And then suckmydick.com will stop appearing on my computer?

AOL: Yes.

Me: If thats the case then I definitely want to cancel. You guys can't stop me from looking at suckmydick.com, whats up with that?

AOL: Please hold.....

xclusive · 09-14-2005, 01:33 PM

lol now that was funny

KMR Stitch · 09-14-2005, 01:33 PM

The best way to cancel the account.

Say a minor in the house used your credit card to signup for the serivce. they will cancel the accout within 4 seconds

wdsguy · 09-14-2005, 01:34 PM

haha its fucking awesome to mess with dumbshit customer service reps.

pornguy · 09-14-2005, 01:36 PM

Funny. Is that really how it went?

Rebecca Love · 09-14-2005, 01:38 PM

haha dummies at A O HELL.

SuckOnThis · 09-14-2005, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornguy

Funny. Is that really how it went?

Yep, and I was on hold the whole fucking time I typed that.

Kevsh · 09-14-2005, 01:43 PM

Good one, that's the way to handle those smarmy (yes, I said "smarmy") little reps. They prey on the gullible, old and computer-challenged and i'm sure it works 9 times out of 10.

I actually had an interview with them years ago. I had the manager I was meeting with believing I was at my current job every day by 7am and stayed late into the evening... I asked if there was any way he could schedule it earlier - he seemed none to please that we were going to meet at 5:30 am on a Monday morning (my only available time).

Monday at 6am I got a very angry voice mail at home. Then at 6:15 ... 6:25 ...

Hey, I was young and immature then, but it was sure fun!

iBanker · 09-14-2005, 01:45 PM

its not a "new" tactic the employ...lol

iBanker · 09-14-2005, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckOnThis

AOL: Yep. Ever been on a website and had popups?

Me: Popups? No, I've never heard my computer make popping noises.

That is too fucking funny

09-14-2005, 01:31 PM	#1
SuckOnThis So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: In my head Posts: 6,844	AOL's new tactic for keeping people from canceling: fear This is fucking hilarious, you would think with all the FTC fines they would learn their lesson. I just called to cancel an AOL account that I never use and it went like this. Me: I'm calling to cancel my account. AOL: Sure, I can help you with that. May I ask why you are canceling? Me: Because I never use it. AOL: I have to tell you, it would be very unwise for you to cancel. Me: Why's that? AOL: Because without our new award winning security software you will subject yourself to hackers and viruses in no time. Me: Oh really? AOL: Definitely. I see that you use a high speed connection, which means you are constantly connected to the internet and your IP address always stays the same. A huge recipe for hackers and viruses. Our new version 9.0 has security features in place to prevent that. Me: Thats kinda scary. AOL: I see that you are not using our latest version, may I ask why? Me: Uhhh, because I never use it. AOL: I'm willing to bet you already have viruses on your computer then, without our newest software you are a sitting duck. Me: I'm not sure what a virus does, can you explain? AOL: Has your computer ever locked up? Me: Sometimes. AOL: Yep. Ever been on a website and had popups? Me: Popups? No, I've never heard my computer make popping noises. AOL: No, have you ever been on a website and another website open in another window? Me: Yes! Now that you mention it everytime I go to my favorite christian site a site called suckmydick.com comes up. Is that you guys doing that? AOL: Not at all. Thats a virus. Thats why you need our software. I highly recommend you download version 9.0 and our security features will remove all viruses from your computer. Me: Well to be honest, I'm starting to kinda like suckmydick.com AOL: Look, I really want to help you. I'll give you 3 months free onto your account, if anything just so you can remove all the viruses. Me: And then suckmydick.com will stop appearing on my computer? AOL: Yes. Me: If thats the case then I definitely want to cancel. You guys can't stop me from looking at suckmydick.com, whats up with that? AOL: Please hold.....

09-14-2005, 01:33 PM	#2
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	lol now that was funny __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

09-14-2005, 01:36 PM	#5
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Funny. Is that really how it went? __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

09-14-2005, 01:38 PM	#6
Rebecca Love Skinemax BQueen Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Las Vegas NV Posts: 2,145	haha dummies at A O HELL. __________________ Kisses, Rebecca Love "Skinemax BQueen of Late-Nite" www.RebeccaLove.com

09-14-2005, 01:45 PM	#9
iBanker Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego, moving to Portland. Posts: 2,758	its not a "new" tactic the employ...lol __________________ www.JasonandAlex.com Christopher's ICQ: 268-843-170

09-14-2005, 01:33 PM	#3
KMR Stitch I am cool Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 14,494	The best way to cancel the account. Say a minor in the house used your credit card to signup for the serivce. they will cancel the accout within 4 seconds

09-14-2005, 01:34 PM	#4
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	haha its fucking awesome to mess with dumbshit customer service reps.

09-14-2005, 01:43 PM	#8
Kevsh Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: TO Posts: 8,619	Good one, that's the way to handle those smarmy (yes, I said "smarmy") little reps. They prey on the gullible, old and computer-challenged and i'm sure it works 9 times out of 10. I actually had an interview with them years ago. I had the manager I was meeting with believing I was at my current job every day by 7am and stayed late into the evening... I asked if there was any way he could schedule it earlier - he seemed none to please that we were going to meet at 5:30 am on a Monday morning (my only available time). Monday at 6am I got a very angry voice mail at home. Then at 6:15 ... 6:25 ... Hey, I was young and immature then, but it was sure fun!