I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true) - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxjay · 08-26-2005, 01:16 PM

Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines.

One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious.

He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.?

So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit??

So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it.

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar?

Hollywood, you gotta? love it.

iBanker · 08-26-2005, 01:19 PM

Jay, I believe you 100%....

Would have been better to hear that story in person though

JFK · 08-26-2005, 01:21 PM

Nice story

SteveLightspeed · 08-26-2005, 01:21 PM

Jay gets more ass than a toilet seat -- if anyone could bang an Olsen twin, my money is on him.

TinaBallina · 08-26-2005, 01:21 PM

Classic Hollywood shit.......so you did not get a number for something future?

xo

opflix · 08-26-2005, 01:22 PM

LOL @ "Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes."

..

Hustlin Entertainment · 08-26-2005, 01:24 PM

cool beans

Realpascal · 08-26-2005, 01:24 PM

Fuck them, tape them.. call Roger.

Frank The Tank · 08-26-2005, 01:24 PM

last night while i was on the moon me and the space men met elvis and joan of arc and had high tea

BVF · 08-26-2005, 01:25 PM

get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers.

Platinum Dave · 08-26-2005, 01:26 PM

Those bitches are so skinny ass, every magazine I see them in, they article is talking about how skinny they are.

But I'd still fuck them both ... Hollywood!

spongemonkey · 08-26-2005, 01:26 PM

Which dive bar?

EroticySteve · 08-26-2005, 01:26 PM

This thread is useless without pics. Am I the first to say it? I should refresh before i post but i wont.

Pete-KT · 08-26-2005, 01:26 PM

no pics Jay?

xxxjay · 08-26-2005, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spongemonkey

Which dive bar?

The Dime on Fairfax.

Tat2Jr · 08-26-2005, 01:27 PM

Is there a new twins solo girls site coming down the line?

Better not! Since they're still under 21 and not whored out, you're sure to get a zillion, "They look too young. Burn in Hell".

Red Ezra · 08-26-2005, 01:29 PM

nice story and congrats

davethetruth · 08-26-2005, 01:29 PM

Right on Jay!

Local dive bars in LA are the way to go fo sho! You get to have the celebs in your own stomping grounds. Don't be surprised if she comes back this weekend.

XXX Graphics Master · 08-26-2005, 01:29 PM

Hahahaha no bloody way. Well, don't they pretty much own L.A.? too bad it didn't go further... oh hell did you check your hat, pocket, etc maybe they slipped their number heh. Ah well, don't worry Jay, you might bump into hilary duff.. that is, if she is now legal age hehe.

Mako · 08-26-2005, 01:29 PM

One little problem:

Mary Kate is engaged to a Billionaire shipping magnate.

Not that xxxjay isn't a player, but damn man...that's some rough competition.

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Mary-...eir-5228.shtml

LittleSassy · 08-26-2005, 01:30 PM

too bad no pics...

Mr Bond · 08-26-2005, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

solid flirtation.

Yo you should have thrown down on them... XXX Style.

Paris Hilton Sex Tape... Move THE FUCK OVER..... here comes Mary Kate and Ashley 3-Some.... Exclusive AT OC CASH

Mr. Bond

.

Adam · 08-26-2005, 01:32 PM

Thats awesome Jay, should have done them both anyway!

Sosa · 08-26-2005, 01:33 PM

pimp pimp

Shaddam IV · 08-26-2005, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

you = fag, with a "capitol" F

xxxjay · 08-26-2005, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaddam IV

you = fag, with a "capitol" F

Fucking haters.

chase · 08-26-2005, 01:40 PM

"but not a good fat" lolol I love that.

Hope I'm a "good fat" lmfao.

TheHatchet · 08-26-2005, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

...(like 6 inches away)......A while later -- they left...

doesn't sound like much of a pimp

XXX Graphics Master · 08-26-2005, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mako

One little problem:

Mary Kate is engaged to a Billionaire shipping magnate.

Not that xxxjay isn't a player, but damn man...that's some rough competition.

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Mary-...eir-5228.shtml

Jesus, another wealthy spoiled ass son of some shipping family scores again? these young celebs are pathetic.. you watch, britney will dump that loser of hers, and run away with some greek shipper too.. then hopefully, he'll take all her money, and ship her ass off to timbuk-tu never to lip sync again LOL.

JD · 08-26-2005, 01:46 PM

can you imagine the value of a Olsen twins porn tape!?!?!?/1/1/1?!!?!?1/!! Millions! It would make Paris hilton look like a Season 3 DVD of Knight Rider

punker barbie · 08-26-2005, 01:46 PM

you stud you would have nailed them simply for bragging rights.
tell chris i said hello

Mako · 08-26-2005, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XXX Graphics Master

Jesus, another wealthy spoiled ass son of some shipping family scores again? these young celebs are pathetic.. you watch, britney will dump that loser of hers, and run away with some greek shipper too.. then hopefully, he'll take all her money, and ship her ass off to timbuk-tu never to lip sync again LOL.

Kevin Federline is my hero...Guy plays golf at a $150k a year country club in a wife-beater, and goes two weeks inbetween shaves.

Lucky fucker, lol.

Shaddam IV · 08-26-2005, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Fucking haters.

if it was true, you would have tapped that ass (if only for bragging rights)

Phoenix · 08-26-2005, 01:50 PM

props to you man..digits would have been cool...secret cams everywhere..lol

VeriSexy · 08-26-2005, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mako

One little problem:

Mary Kate is engaged to a Billionaire shipping magnate.

Not that xxxjay isn't a player, but damn man...that's some rough competition.

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Mary-...eir-5228.shtml

kosta · 08-26-2005, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true)
Reply to Thread

ALMOST DON'T CUT ANY ICE WITH US, SON. RETURN TO BASEMENT.

:2cents

Triple 6 · 08-26-2005, 01:55 PM

both those girls cant give head for shit, surprisingly.

Adam · 08-26-2005, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Fucking haters.

thats right man, mad haters!

Sassy Girl · 08-26-2005, 02:00 PM

Wow, seeing someone and exchanging idle chit chat is almost hooking up? Hey, I almost hooked up with Brendan Shanahan once!!!

mahoney · 08-26-2005, 02:07 PM

LOL, too funny..... Good Shit Jay

Doctor Dre · 08-26-2005, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVF

get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers.

They would be very good sugar mamas !

sherie · 08-26-2005, 02:11 PM

Only you, Jay Hollywood!

DutchTeenCash · 08-26-2005, 02:14 PM

a phone number would be cool

HollywoodChris · 08-26-2005, 02:20 PM

Last night was a blast... Not too ofter that I meet a billionaire.

One is totally hotter than the other too. I was stoked that they were actually cool, not like some of the other cock smoking celebs I've met around here that make 2% of what the Olsens are worth.

Vince Vaughn is still getting an ass beating.

Doctor Dre · 08-26-2005, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy Girl

Wow, seeing someone and exchanging idle chit chat is almost hooking up? Hey, I almost hooked up with Brendan Shanahan once!!!

Who the hell is Brenda Shanahan ?

Doctor Dre · 08-26-2005, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HollywoodChris

Last night was a blast... Not too ofter that I meet a billionaire.

One is totally hotter than the other too. I was stoked that they were actually cool, not like some of the other cock smoking celebs I've met around here that make 2% of what the Olsens are worth.

Vince Vaughn is still getting an ass beating.

Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't they worth in the 100ish millions each ? That's not billionaires ...

HollywoodChris · 08-26-2005, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Dre

Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't they worth in the 100ish millions each ? That's not billionaires ...

who cares, you're still Canadian

CherryLipsRosa · 08-26-2005, 02:31 PM

They are sweet girls after all.

xxxjay · 08-26-2005, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy Girl

Wow, seeing someone and exchanging idle chit chat is almost hooking up?

She was giving me some defininant flirtation.

Let me have my moment.

Kevsh · 08-26-2005, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVF

get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers.

He didn't need to ask
He could've said he got her number from Paris' hacked TMobile on GFY

08-26-2005, 01:16 PM	#1
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true) Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines. One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious. He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.? So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit?? So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it. So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation. A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes. The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar? Hollywood, you gotta? love it. __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

08-26-2005, 01:19 PM	#2
iBanker Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego, moving to Portland. Posts: 2,758	Jay, I believe you 100%.... Would have been better to hear that story in person though __________________ www.JasonandAlex.com Christopher's ICQ: 268-843-170

08-26-2005, 01:21 PM	#3
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	Nice story __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

08-26-2005, 01:21 PM	#4
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Jay gets more ass than a toilet seat -- if anyone could bang an Olsen twin, my money is on him. __________________ Abra-cadabra!

08-26-2005, 01:21 PM	#5
TinaBallina Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 922	Classic Hollywood shit.......so you did not get a number for something future? xo __________________ TinaBallina ICQ: 331521809 AIM: ballinaballina

08-26-2005, 01:22 PM	#6
opflix Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: HELL Posts: 1,428	LOL @ "Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes." .. __________________ Social Escrow - Buying & Selling Accounts? Contact Me \| Social Escrow IG

08-26-2005, 01:24 PM	#7
Hustlin Entertainment So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2002 Location: Nassau,Bahamas Posts: 2,326	cool beans

08-26-2005, 01:24 PM	#8
Realpascal Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Dutchie !!! Posts: 2,119	Fuck them, tape them.. call Roger. __________________ OMGWTFBBQ

08-26-2005, 01:24 PM	#9
Frank The Tank Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 3,225	last night while i was on the moon me and the space men met elvis and joan of arc and had high tea __________________ aim : titanceltic icq : 307499327 Frank[@]babesandstuff.com

08-26-2005, 01:25 PM	#10
BVF Black Vagina Finder Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Midwest Posts: 13,975	get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers. __________________ Black Pussy Click On Mr Cosby..CCbill, 60/40, 136 FHG's....The Cos Loves Black Ghetto Pussy!!

08-26-2005, 01:26 PM	#11
Platinum Dave Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,441	Those bitches are so skinny ass, every magazine I see them in, they article is talking about how skinny they are. But I'd still fuck them both ... Hollywood! __________________ Check out Adult Rental - Only Pay Per Signup VOD!

08-26-2005, 01:26 PM	#12
spongemonkey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 199	Which dive bar?

08-26-2005, 01:26 PM	#13
EroticySteve Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 4,365	This thread is useless without pics. Am I the first to say it? I should refresh before i post but i wont. __________________ You deserve to make more money. I'll help you do that. Our affiliates earn up to $3/email or $107/sale email steve <at> eroticy.com - icq 290153464

08-26-2005, 01:26 PM	#14
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	no pics Jay?

08-26-2005, 01:27 PM	#16
Tat2Jr Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sunny California Posts: 4,882	Is there a new twins solo girls site coming down the line? Better not! Since they're still under 21 and not whored out, you're sure to get a zillion, "They look too young. Burn in Hell". __________________ NICHE MONEY >> Ass Worship • Panties • Solo Teen • Pantyhose Serving up exclusive fetish sites since 1997!

08-26-2005, 01:29 PM	#17
Red Ezra redezra.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Vegas Baby! Posts: 4,680	nice story and congrats

08-26-2005, 01:29 PM	#18
davethetruth Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,806	Right on Jay! Local dive bars in LA are the way to go fo sho! You get to have the celebs in your own stomping grounds. Don't be surprised if she comes back this weekend. __________________ Rainbow Revenue- The BEST Gay Conversions New Sex Toy Affiliate Program! Get $10.00 Just For Joining! Choose from two Sex Toy Stores to promote: BedroomSports- Since 1998 - Now New & Improved! VibratorWarehouse- New Site with Excellent Conversions!

08-26-2005, 01:29 PM	#19
XXX Graphics Master Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 53	Hahahaha no bloody way. Well, don't they pretty much own L.A.? too bad it didn't go further... oh hell did you check your hat, pocket, etc maybe they slipped their number heh. Ah well, don't worry Jay, you might bump into hilary duff.. that is, if she is now legal age hehe. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-26-2005, 01:29 PM	#20
Mako Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The OC baby! Posts: 1,986	One little problem: Mary Kate is engaged to a Billionaire shipping magnate. Not that xxxjay isn't a player, but damn man...that's some rough competition. http://news.softpedia.com/news/Mary-...eir-5228.shtml __________________

08-26-2005, 01:30 PM	#21
LittleSassy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: behind you Posts: 7,402	too bad no pics... __________________ Proadultoutsourcing.com ~ version 2.0 OFFSHORE SOLUTIONS PROVIDER SINCE 2003 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE 264-580-554

08-26-2005, 01:32 PM	#23
Adam Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 842	Thats awesome Jay, should have done them both anyway! __________________ ICQ: 267-743-237 [email protected]

08-26-2005, 01:33 PM	#24
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	pimp pimp

08-26-2005, 01:40 PM	#27
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	"but not a good fat" lolol I love that. Hope I'm a "good fat" lmfao. __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

08-26-2005, 01:46 PM	#30
JD Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 22,651	can you imagine the value of a Olsen twins porn tape!?!?!?/1/1/1?!!?!?1/!! Millions! It would make Paris hilton look like a Season 3 DVD of Knight Rider

08-26-2005, 01:46 PM	#31
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,226	you stud you would have nailed them simply for bragging rights. tell chris i said hello __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

08-26-2005, 01:50 PM	#34
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	props to you man..digits would have been cool...secret cams everywhere..lol __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

08-26-2005, 01:55 PM	#37
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08-26-2005, 02:00 PM	#39
Sassy Girl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 410	Wow, seeing someone and exchanging idle chit chat is almost hooking up? Hey, I almost hooked up with Brendan Shanahan once!!!

08-26-2005, 02:07 PM	#40
mahoney Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas Nv Posts: 5,318	LOL, too funny..... Good Shit Jay __________________ Vegassexparty.com

08-26-2005, 02:11 PM	#42
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	Only you, Jay Hollywood! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor

08-26-2005, 02:14 PM	#43
DutchTeenCash I like Dutch Girls Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: dutchteencash.com Posts: 21,684	a phone number would be cool __________________ ICQ 16 91 547 - SKYPE dutchteencash bob AT dutchteencash DOT com ... did you see our newest Sweet Natural Girl Priscilla (18)?

08-26-2005, 02:20 PM	#44
HollywoodChris Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,282	Last night was a blast... Not too ofter that I meet a billionaire. One is totally hotter than the other too. I was stoked that they were actually cool, not like some of the other cock smoking celebs I've met around here that make 2% of what the Olsens are worth. Vince Vaughn is still getting an ass beating.

08-26-2005, 02:31 PM	#48
CherryLipsRosa Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 3,603	They are sweet girls after all. __________________ Rosalia M. ICQ.12150439 Skype. cherrylipsrosa