FATPad

No idea if they're true or not, but I got them in an email and thought they were funny.

And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and
it was amazing!" (Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."
(New Zealand rugby commentator)

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
(Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston Bennett)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which
is identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother."
(Greg Norman)

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing
again." (Terry Venables)

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat
race 1977)

"Morcelli has four fastest 1,500 m times ever. And all those times over
1,500m." (David Coleman)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the
field." (Metro Radio)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for
even longer." (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in
football?" (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and
showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them.........Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator)

optikalz

A REAL "snafu" was when Jimmy The Greek got fired because he said on the air that Black football players were bigger and stronger because slaves were bred for strength during the slave days.

CyberFreak

I'm a big dork!

optikalz

Ya know, Cyberfreak, in Guam they make "sushi" out of spam... I got an idea... MOVE THERE with your spam

railz

This one is completely true - I even remember laughing my ass off when he said it.

Poor Murray hasn't been quite the same since Nigel Mansell left F1.

Here's one more of his gems:

"'Three Escorts, 1-2-3, not surprisingly, because they're all Ford Escorts in this race."

(BTW the original page for that list is http://www.suddenlysenior.com/sportssayings.html)

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railz

Here's some more - Poor Old Murray

(Taken from http://www.womanonwheels.co.uk/jokes.htm)

....the lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact it's just under 7 seconds.
Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place.
As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth.
Tambay's hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.
It's raining and the track is wet.
And this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car.
This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well.
You can't see the digital clock because there isn't one.
... and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position ... in fact he's lapping 2.5 seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position.
The Italian Grand Prix at Monaco...
"...and he's lost both right front tyres"
Murray: And look at the flames coming from the back of Berger's Mclaren! James Hunt: Actually, Murray, they're not flames - it's the safety light.
... and there's no damage to the car.......except the car itself.
and I interrupt myself to bring you this...
"Unless I'm very much mistaken... I am very much mistaken!"
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"
This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is known... and always has been.
And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
...Cruel luck for Alesi, second on the grid. That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year...
Mansell can see him in his earphone...
Murray: What's that? Theres a BODY on the track!!! James Hunt: Err.. no Murray, there's a piece of bodywork from someone's car on the track.
I'm applying intelligence and observation to the situation...
"Andrea de Cesaris...the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them"
And we have had 5 races so far this year: Brazil; Argentina; Imola; Schumacher and Monaco!
"With the race half gone, there is half the race still to go"

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Nedder

I remember the halftime guy on the superbowl said..."and coming up at halftime, Third Blind Eye!"

Nz