FATPad

No idea if they're true or not, but I got them in an email and thought they were funny.

And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and
it was amazing!" (Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."
(New Zealand rugby commentator)

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
(Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston Bennett)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which
is identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother."
(Greg Norman)

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing
again." (Terry Venables)

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat
race 1977)

"Morcelli has four fastest 1,500 m times ever. And all those times over
1,500m." (David Coleman)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the
field." (Metro Radio)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for
even longer." (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in
football?" (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and
showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them.........Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator)