K-Man's Sex Recipes

[kmanrox]

Abe Lincoln - Doggy style sex, Just before you climax, give her a donkey punch, then while she is knocked out, roll her over and jizz all over her chin and face, shave off her pubes, and sprinkle in the beard region of her jizz covered mug. - Wadtron

Airplane Blonde - A blonde who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

Airtight - A woman is said to be airtight when her anus, vagina, and mouth are all full of penis. - Wadtron

The Alien (aka The Shocker) - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink. - Tommy, Cincy

Alaskan Fire Dragon - Another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan fire dragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "I have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose. - Wadtron

Ambush - Insert your thumb in the pink, your pointer finger in the stink, and try to bust trough the skin inside. - Smalls, Pennsylvania

Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.

Angry Dragon - While receiving oral sex from a female, the male pulls out and shoots his load up her nose. The female then snorts to expell the semen from her nasal cavity, henceforth creating the appearance of an "angry dragon".

Antlers - Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.

Arabian Goggles (see also Ray Bans) - The bizarre act of stretching your scrotum across your lover's face and placing one testicle upon each eye. Voila! Arabian Goggles! - Christopher Mathews, Florida

Aussie Kiss - Same as a French Kiss, only you do it "Down Under"

Australian Death Grip - The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. - Wadtron

Beverly Hills Whiffer - This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"

Bloody Mary - When a drunk guy is going down on a girl and without even realizing it after he's done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody.

Blumpkin - Receiving oral sex while sitting on the toilet

Bone of Contention - A Hard-On that starts an argument, ie. your girlfriend catches you with a stiffy while watching Olympic Figure Skating.

Boofter (see also Rusty Trombone) - The anal to the oral. The guy does the girl in her ass then she gives him head. - Northside Drunkrockers

Breakfast at Tiffany's - the act of eating a soft-boiled egg from your girl's pussy.

Bridle - Whil banging a whore doggy style, hook your pinky fingers on either side of her mouth and pull back. - Wadtron

Brown Bag Special - The act of wrapping a girl up or placing her in a burlap sack up to her neck so that she is immobile and her head is sticking out. Straddle her and repeatedly smack her about the face with your limp hog. - Tucky

Budgie's Tongue (see also The Little man in the Canoe) - Euphamism for the clitoris.

Bunny Boiler - An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction"

The Burrowing Skunk - You take a shit on the floor, then from the doggie style position, just before you cum you shove her face in to the pile of shit and cum down the middle of her back, hence the burrowing skunk.. - Bruce Bell

Butt Rodeo (see also Rodeo Sex) - This is stupid, but it still made us laugh...When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!

California Potato Chip - Fuck the hell out of yo bitch, then bust a nut all over her back. Call it a night and then proceed to go to sleep. When you wake in the morning, Peel the hardened Jizz of her back and serve it to her for breakfast. - Jay Reid, Georgia

Camel Toe (see also Moose Knuckle, The Mumbler, Ninja Foot) - When a girl's pants are so tight you can make out the outline of her lips.

Chili Dog - The extreme act of shitting on your partner's chest then titty fucking her, henceforth the appearence of a "Chili Dog". - Twisted Pete, Ohio

Chilly Willy (aka Polar Bear, Snowjob) - Blowjob involving ice cubes. - Wadtron

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Taint - Pretending to be a Mormon just so you can impregnate virgins and breed them all out. - Club 1209

Cleveland Steamer - The extreme act of shitting on your partner's chest. (sometimes used as a revenge act).

Clitourist - A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."

Cold Faithful - Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift. - Wadtron

The Concrete Mixer - This is one is where you're tappin dat ass doggystyle, ramming her head fiercly into the drywall ahead. When you spew, shoot it into her drywall ridden locks. Presto, Concrete. - Christian Thomas, Georgia

Corn Flakes - This requires a really dirty partner. When you're about to cum, shoot it in her ear. If she's dirty enough, she'll have plenty of ear wax. Hopefully, the ear wax will float atop the semen. With the correct coloration, her ear will look like a bowl of milk and cereal.

Country Blumpkin - A Modified Blumpkin taking place in an outhouse

Coyote Ugly - Waking up with a nasty one night stand, you realize you have to give her/him the slip. You realize your arm is wrapped around them. You would rather gnaw off your own arm than risk waking them.

Crossed Swords - A blowjob involving two penises at one time. Three becomes a Jawbreaker. - Wadtron

oooo Trumpet - While down on a chick, place your lips solidly over her love hole and blow, watch her stomach rise as she fills with air. Then, with a firm hand push down on her stomach to let all the air out like the beautiful sound of a trumpet

Detachable Penis - In the dark while you are fucking your woman, instead of your penis to penetrate her oooo, use a banana or cucumber, or something that resembles a penis. Make unusual sexual "grunts" Proceed to fall out of the bed, leaving the penis-like object inside of her. If done right, she will go in a panic thinking your penis fell off. - Kirk Barrios, Indiana

Dirty Jose - The homosexual act of making your partner clean your pooh covered member after a hearty bout of anal play.

Dirty Sanchez - During Doggystyle sex, the male inserts his finger into his partner's anus. He then proceeds to smear the fecal matter onto his partner's upper lip to create a mustache made of poo.

Donkey Punch - (don't recommend trying this one in any circumstance) During Doggystyle sex, the male punches his partner in the back of her head right before he climaxes. The female then tenses up from the blow giving the male a better orgasm.

Double Bass - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

Double Dragon (see also Split Pissonality, PEUM) - Post sex urination where you get a double stream out of one peehole.Dutch Oven - While a girl is going down on you, you blow ass and pull the covers over her head - Zerb

Eskimo Frenchbread Surprise - While nailing her doggystyle, you shove a frozen breadstick in her butt. - Zerb

Esplanade - To attempt to explain your whiskey dick to a girl. You are obviously drunk.

Etch-A-Sketch - Trying to draw a smile on a women's face by turning her knobs (nipples)

The Exploding Thorns - A variation on the Shocker. Penetrate the chick with your fingers crossed (middle over index and ring over pinky) and then immediately uncross them while yelling out "BOOM!" Always remember the thumb for the clitoral stimulation. - Woogie310, Georgia

Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips will swell. A la, the fat lip.

Fat Guy In a Little Coat - When your dick is too big for the girl's box. - Milton Waddums, Georgia

Felching - The act of sucking semen from your partner's butt.

Fidel Castro - Take a shit on the chick's face, rip out some pubes and toss em on her grillpiece, and then top it off by having her "smoke your cigar." - Woogie310, Georgia

Fire in the Hole - A revenge technique of pre-sex greasing up of your schlong with a mixture of Bengay and Tobasco Sauce. - Nook



(these have been stolen from http://www.tomorrowideation.com/geto...d/TheList.html )

[Cheshire]

i'm so excited...

[Sly_RJ]

No shrimping?

[mjrools23]

california potato chip is funny

[pr0]

Two in the Goo....One in the Poo

[Cheshire]

Originally posted by Sly_RJ
No shrimping?

Trust me, it's on the complete list...

[RW316]

hey chesire

[kmanrox]

Shrimping - Bang em down in the rear, then, after you bust, take a straw and suck out the jizz/poo mixture. what comes out resembles a shrimp and is performed in prisons mostly i hear. - Mike Causey, Florida

Skipoling - A girl jerking off two guys at once, hence, looks like she has two ski poles.

Sleeping Bag - If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head. - Wadtron

Smoking Pole - Oral sex on a male... no flame required

Snake Skin (aka The Lost Goat) - The act of staying inside her after sex until you go limp, then pulling out leaving behind your condom and its contents. - Wadtron

Snowball - After ejaculating in your partner's mouth, you make out and swap joy juice

Snowjob (aka Polar Bear, Chilly Willy) - Blowjob involving ice cubes. - Wadtron

Snowmobile - When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face. - Wadtron

Sperm Wail (see also Spewphemism) - A verbal outburst during the Male Orgasm

Spewphemism (see also Sperm Wail) - A verbal outburst during the Male Orgasm

Spicy Stanley - When a girl takes hot sauce and pours it on your cock. She then proceeds to give you a blowjob, making sure all of the hot sauce is gone. - Wadtron

Split Pissonality (see also Double Dragon, PEUM) - Post sex urination where you get a double stream out of one peehole.

The Spocker (see also The Shocker) - Two in the pink and two in the stink

Squeegee - when your fucking a girl in the ass, when your about to cum, you stick a pin in one of her ass cheeks, thus making her clench up and cleaning all the shit off your cock as you pull out at the same time.

Stove Piping - Taking it in the Tush.

Stranger - The act of sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, then you jerk off with it. - Wadtron

Strawberry Milkshake (aka Jelly Donut, Strawberry Shortcake) - when a guy blows his load on a girls face, Then swiftly punches her in the nose, causing it to bleed. Giving the apperence of a strawberry shortcake. - Chris A, Tennessee

Strawberry Shortcake (aka Jelly Donut, Strawberry Milkshake) - when a guy blows his load on a girls face, Then swiftly punches her in the nose, causing it to bleed. Giving the apperence of a strawberry shortcake. - Chris A, Tennessee

Stuffucking - The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. - Wadtron

Teabag - The act of dropping your testicles onto your partners face and/or mouth

Texas Tornado - When a guy crosses his first 2 fingers while banging a chick. - John Peil, Oregon

Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a girl and then she puts her two big butt cheeks on your face like holiday hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but instead of just putting the cheeks on your head she farts on it too.

Throne of Lightning - This is done by fucking a girl while you shit in a toilet. When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica album

Titanic - A girl who is likely to "go down" the first time out.

Tombstone 69 - while having standing 69 with her upside down, wait till you cheeze then exclaim "tombstone" and drop her on her head WWF style. With any luck she will proceed to expell "angry dragon" style as well because of the impact. Important note: make sure your dick is not in her mouth anymore when you tombstone her

[Sly_RJ]

Originally posted by Cheshire

Trust me, it's on the complete list...

I'll be damned, ya learn something new every day...

[Lev]

Fidel Castro - Take a shit on the chick's face, rip out some pubes and toss em on her grillpiece, and then top it off by having her "smoke your cigar." - Woogie310, Georgia

[kmanrox]

my fave;

Strawberry Shortcake (aka Jelly Donut, Strawberry Milkshake) - when a guy blows his load on a girls face, Then swiftly punches her in the nose, causing it to bleed. Giving the apperence of a strawberry shortcake. - Chris A, Tennessee

ahahahaha

[Cheshire]

...don't even think about it...

[-=HOAX=-]

The walrus is good...get a girl who's a notorious spitter...after you blow your load in her mouth and just before she begins to spit it out pinch her lips together and the sperm will dribble out the corner of her mouth, thus looking like walrus tusks...

[kmanrox]

Originally posted by Cheshire
...don't even think about it...

ahahaha what??? what did i say??
i dont get it


im confused

[-=HOAX=-]

Cheshire
kmanrox is HOT



You lose a bet?

[Steve]

does everyone else find this list fucking hysterical, or is it just because I seriously need some sleep?

I think I ruptured something internally, trying to keep it in while reading that page - I had to close the fucking browser

[-=HOAX=-]

Originally posted by Steve
I had to close the fucking browser

Pussy...

[Sly_RJ]

Originally posted by Steve
does everyone else find this list fucking hysterical, or is it just because I seriously need some sleep?

I think I ruptured something internally, trying to keep it in while reading that page - I had to close the fucking browser

It's not just you bro. The Walrus is great...

[kmanrox]

Originally posted by -=HOAX=-



Pussy...

aahahaha

[Cheshire]

Originally posted by -=HOAX=-
Cheshire
kmanrox is HOT



You lose a bet?

Yes...
and my mind too.

[-=HOAX=-]

There there Chesh, it'll all be ok...just get a xanax script and let the pain melt away.

[Cheshire]

then I can be cool like you Hoax...

...and the name's Cheshire

[-=HOAX=-]

Ch,

Cool like a Cucumber...

[Cheshire]

Ho,

I'm no vegitable ~ ya fruit!

[-=HOAX=-]

,

sure....

[Cheshire]

.

[FierceHost]

l
o
l

[Plat]

lol, bump from a recent post :c)

[SleazyDream]

Ingrediants.

One cute WHORE
One balcony

Directions:

Stuff whore with k-man meat till just before orgasm. Then cover whore's face on balcony for all at Internext to see.


Optional - throw whore over balcony and keep whore's purse.

[kmanrox]

ahahahaha i gotta try this one;

Detachable Penis - In the dark while you are fucking your woman, instead of your penis to penetrate her oooo, use a banana or cucumber, or something that resembles a penis. Make unusual sexual "grunts" Proceed to fall out of the bed, leaving the penis-like object inside of her. If done right, she will go in a panic thinking your penis fell off.

[Plat]

Originally posted by kmanrox
ahahahaha i gotta try this one;

Detachable Penis - In the dark while you are fucking your woman, instead of your penis to penetrate her oooo, use a banana or cucumber, or something that resembles a penis. Make unusual sexual "grunts" Proceed to fall out of the bed, leaving the penis-like object inside of her. If done right, she will go in a panic thinking your penis fell off.

haha that would pwn

[llporter]

deserves a bump

[woj]

Originally Posted by Hedonistic

ahahahaha i gotta try this one;

Detachable Penis - In the dark while you are fucking your woman, instead of your penis to penetrate her oooo, use a banana or cucumber, or something that resembles a penis. Make unusual sexual "grunts" Proceed to fall out of the bed, leaving the penis-like object inside of her. If done right, she will go in a panic thinking your penis fell off.

[tristan_D]

I'll be waiting for the paperback version.

[DWB]

Clip & Dip: When your banging a girl but you poked a hole in your rubber before hand so it breaks mid fuck... then you dump inside her and act like it was an accident. Never to see her again.

Barebackistan swap & pop: When your in one position, but you flip her around doggy so she can't see you and you slip off yoru rubber and stick it in (keep rubber in hand)... pull out, act like you are removing the rubber and blow on her ass. This works best with high class escorts and other condom nazis that you just have to raw dog.

[yys]

Oh shit I remember this thread; funny stuff.
Here's one I didn't see listed. Chio probably knows it.

The Angry Pirate: Well your getting a blowjob and just before your about to cum hold one of the girls eye's open with your forefinger and thumb. Pull out and blow your load in her open eye. Grab her hair and pull her head back well at the same time saying ARRRRRR Matie.

[reed_4]

looks interesting though that was a very long read, thanks.

[reynold]

Perfect for my healthy lifestuyle... ;)

[Chio The Pirate]

Originally Posted by yys

Oh shit I remember this thread; funny stuff.
Here's one I didn't see listed. Chio probably knows it.

The Angry Pirate: Well your getting a blowjob and just before your about to cum hold one of the girls eye's open with your forefinger and thumb. Pull out and blow your load in her open eye. Grab her hair and pull her head back well at the same time saying ARRRRRR Matie.

YARGH! HAHA That's great.

[Doctor Dre]

Woah I read halfway through . too much information for me ... I'l finish this a bit later lol

[angelsofporn]

Alaskan Fire Dragon - Another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan fire dragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "I have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose. - Wadtron

LOL...you are a bad man