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#1 |
Black Vagina Finder
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 13,975
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watched "Constantine" on DVD...Don't you make the same mistake
I figured that this movie "Constantine" with Keanu Reaves would be good because it's so hard to rent at blockbuster and they have a whole wall of these videos that are rented...I was able to cop one and it SUCKS...
This idiot is walking around shooting demons with a rifle made out of a crucifix. Don't watch this bullshit movie. Oh and I have a new show up on www.mrnogood.com
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#2 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 148
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Constintine Hell Yeah
While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack Then I got violent and banged my head on the window Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait I waited about 30 minutes Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO I then you don?t tell me what I see Then he said we can make you disappear Then I tell them not to threaten me He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over The cops then took me and threw me into a cell And the next day I was released and I went home. Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities Then it quickly flew off 15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk. The car then starts driving Were in there for 10 hours I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell I then reply I shit my sack They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again They put her in the corner of the room Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it. Then he says come with me? And then we all walked down a hall way We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold While it?s on the ground it craps itself The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell Edd asks whats he doing here He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car And the one that talks put me back in my sack I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again. They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere. He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash They get back in the car and dvive off |
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,478
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that movie sucks
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,859
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I thought it was a good movie...
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#5 |
peace&profit,
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,885
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I loved it. Always nice to see other peoples interpretations of hell. Lucifers role was kinda kick ass too.
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peace&profit, jaYMan |
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#6 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 148
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Constintine Hell Yeah
While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack Then I got violent and banged my head on the window Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait I waited about 30 minutes Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO I then you don?t tell me what I see Then he said we can make you disappear Then I tell them not to threaten me He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over The cops then took me and threw me into a cell And the next day I was released and I went home. Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities Then it quickly flew off 15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk. The car then starts driving Were in there for 10 hours I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell I then reply I shit my sack They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again They put her in the corner of the room Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it. Then he says come with me? And then we all walked down a hall way We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold While it?s on the ground it craps itself The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell Edd asks whats he doing here He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car And the one that talks put me back in my sack I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again. They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere. He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash They get back in the car and dvive off While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack Then I got violent and banged my head on the window Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait I waited about 30 minutes Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO I then you don?t tell me what I see Then he said we can make you disappear Then I tell them not to threaten me He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over The cops then took me and threw me into a cell And the next day I was released and I went home. Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities Then it quickly flew off 15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk. The car then starts driving Were in there for 10 hours I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell I then reply I shit my sack They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again They put her in the corner of the room Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it. Then he says come with me? And then we all walked down a hall way We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold While it?s on the ground it craps itself The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell Edd asks whats he doing here He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car And the one that talks put me back in my sack I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again. They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere. He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash They get back in the car and dvive off |
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#7 | |
赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The Valley
Posts: 14,831
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Quote:
I actually enjoyed Constantine. Must be a white thing.
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,865
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I think they changed so much of the story from the comic book. Have not seen it though, and I don't think I will based on what I heard from you guys.
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#9 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: XXXBigRed@Twitter
Posts: 9,586
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I thought it was alright ,but Loved the opening scene. When that El Camino crashes into the guy. That was wild, kinda leveled off after that
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#10 |
:glugglug
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 26,118
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I liked that movie
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#11 | |
:glugglug
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 26,118
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Quote:
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#12 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 583
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I 've seen that movie some time ago and I must agree that it was the most crappy movie I have seen in a long time.
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#13 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,448
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Quote:
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,640
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i didn't even finish watching that crap.
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#15 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Porn Valley
Posts: 2,284
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Just watched that movie tonight, how are doing Big Red, I thought that first part was pretty cool too.
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#16 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mallorca - Nottingham
Posts: 5,176
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Never seen a good Keanu Reaves film.
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#17 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 215
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Reviews of this movie have been mixed big time. I think a lot of people who don't like it don't understand it's based on a comic book story. It's not supposed to be real and have this great story behind it..it's a comic book brought to life. I thought it was a fucking cool. I can understand if this type of movie ain't your thing, but you can't denie the obvious hard work and time that went to into this film. The result was sweet eye candy. Reeves and his co stars didn't do a bad job either.
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#18 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,846
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it was not as good as i expected. guess it was too over-rated.
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#19 |
Reach for those stars!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 17,991
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I watched it the other night, and I want my $5 back. Keanu STILL can't act his way out of a wet paper bag, even when he's playing a dark, brooding character. Everyone else was good, though, and the special effects rocked.
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#20 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: SeATtle
Posts: 6,033
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Quote:
Agreed..he was ATROCIOUS in the movie. The only thing worse than his acting was THE MOVIE!
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#21 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Global Traveler
Posts: 51,271
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i would want to see this film, kinda curious bout what's with this movie.
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#22 |
Disruptive Innovator
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Vegas
Posts: 4,230
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rofl, did he say "whoa" in it haha
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#23 |
Traffillionaire
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: ICQ:209371571
Posts: 22,430
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I watched it, and it sucked....I can not understand how anybody can like it
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#24 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
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#25 | |
Sofa King Band
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Outside the box
Posts: 29,903
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Quote:
I don't think there's ever been a movie that gfy hasn't bashed. |
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#26 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mallorca - Nottingham
Posts: 5,176
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Quote:
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See sig... |
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#27 |
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Somewhere only we know
Posts: 100
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constantine rocks!!
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#28 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Global Traveler
Posts: 51,271
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I've seen it on Silverscreen, and I don't consider watching it a big mistake.
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#29 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the fucking outback
Posts: 1,497
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I thought it rocked, best demons and depiction of hell I've seen in a movie.
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#30 |
March 1st, 2003
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room
Posts: 20,295
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I watched it...I was entertained..that's all I ask for.
Did I learn something valuable about life? No. that's what "very special Blossom" episodes are for. ;) |
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#31 | |
Black Vagina Finder
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 13,975
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Quote:
And why would they have broken down cars and burning buildings in hell?
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#32 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,379
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not a bad flick. moderately entertaining.. overall not a great movie.. but it had some interesting scenes and the story was refreshingly different.
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#33 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,379
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Quote:
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#34 | |
March 1st, 2003
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room
Posts: 20,295
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Quote:
My perception of hell if there was one has always been that it's not really this lake full of fire and brimstone, but could be just an episode in your life that you play over and over. Just another person's concept of what hell might be...I thought it looked pretty cool. |
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#35 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 6,894
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Quote:
GFY is way harsher than Siskel and Ebert |
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#36 |
When it rains, it pours
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 20,609
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missing lots of movie watching lately.
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#37 |
Triple OG nigga on GFY
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: in the BP4L family compound
Posts: 27,296
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hell would be run by south central thugs
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#38 |
ex-TeenGodFather
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele
Posts: 20,306
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I like lucifer. I like lucifer movies. He kicks ass.
He was pretty much the only thing I liked in the movie.
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..and I'm off. |
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#39 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Location: behind you
Posts: 7,402
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the movie was kinda crap....
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#40 | |
ex-TeenGodFather
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele
Posts: 20,306
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Quote:
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..and I'm off. |
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#41 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dearborn, MI
Posts: 5,921
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You guys are crazy. Constantine was sweet. Great comic book movie.
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