watched "Constantine" on DVD...Don't you make the same mistake
 

I figured that this movie "Constantine" with Keanu Reaves would be good because it's so hard to rent at blockbuster and they have a whole wall of these videos that are rented...I was able to cop one and it SUCKS...

This idiot is walking around shooting demons with a rifle made out of a crucifix.

Don't watch this bullshit movie.

Oh and I have a new show up on www.mrnogood.com

Constintine Hell Yeah

While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window
I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window
I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light
The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops
They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area
So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield
The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me
Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car
Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat
I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack
Then I got violent and banged my head on the window
Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was
So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me
They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait
I waited about 30 minutes
Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down
They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO
He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO
I then you don?t tell me what I see
Then he said we can make you disappear
Then I tell them not to threaten me
He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear
Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high
So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from
Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over
The cops then took me and threw me into a cell
And the next day I was released and I went home.


Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers
So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities
Then it quickly flew off
15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me
The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk
I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it
The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out
They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack
I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack
Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk.
The car then starts driving
Were in there for 10 hours
I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack
Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell
I then reply I shit my sack
They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room
They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again
They put her in the corner of the room
Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness
What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness
There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist
We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it
Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it.
Then he says come with me?
And then we all walked down a hall way
We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints
We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us
And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold
While it?s on the ground it craps itself
The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you
We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell
Edd asks whats he doing here
He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him
Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up
As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out
Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car
And the one that talks put me back in my sack
I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist
They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again.
They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold
He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything
He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere.
He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash
They get back in the car and dvive off

that movie sucks

I thought it was a good movie...

I loved it. Always nice to see other peoples interpretations of hell. Lucifers role was kinda kick ass too.

Constintine Hell Yeah

While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window
I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window
I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light
The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops
They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area
So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield
The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me
Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car
Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat
I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack
Then I got violent and banged my head on the window
Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was
So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me
They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait
I waited about 30 minutes
Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down
They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO
He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO
I then you don?t tell me what I see
Then he said we can make you disappear
Then I tell them not to threaten me
He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear
Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high
So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from
Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over
The cops then took me and threw me into a cell
And the next day I was released and I went home.


Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers
So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities
Then it quickly flew off
15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me
The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk
I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it
The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out
They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack
I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack
Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk.
The car then starts driving
Were in there for 10 hours
I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack
Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell
I then reply I shit my sack
They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room
They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again
They put her in the corner of the room
Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness
What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness
There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist
We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it
Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it.
Then he says come with me?
And then we all walked down a hall way
We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints
We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us
And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold
While it?s on the ground it craps itself
The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you
We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell
Edd asks whats he doing here
He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him
Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up
As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out
Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car
And the one that talks put me back in my sack
I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist
They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again.
They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold
He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything
He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere.
He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash
They get back in the car and dvive off
While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window
I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window
I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light
The neighbors sat me naked so they called the cops
They cops show up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area
So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield
The big nig ger one grabs me and handcuffs me
Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car
Then I get all pissed off again, and I took a big shit on the seat
I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack
Then I got violent and banged my head on the window
Then the big nig ger one and asked me what that smell was
So I said I took a shit, and the big nig ger one hit me
They drove me to the station booked me, and took me in a room and told me to wait
I waited about 30 minutes
Then the 2 men in black came in one stands in the corner and the other sits down
They asked me what I saw, and I told them I saw a UFO
He then I told me I didn?t see a UFO
I then you don?t tell me what I see
Then he said we can make you disappear
Then I tell them not to threaten me
He then says we can make your wife, kids, and house disappear
Then he pulls a paper out that said I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high
So I signed it, then I asked what organization they were from
Then the one in the corner and looked at the other and the the one talking said the meeting was over
The cops then took me and threw me into a cell
And the next day I was released and I went home.


Later that afternoon a black military helicopter flew over with no numbers
So I get all pissed off and started throwing shoes at the helicopter and screaming profanities
Then it quickly flew off
15 minutes later a black car pulls up, and the two men in black I saw the day before confront me
The one that didn?t talk cuffs me throws me in a sack and puts me in the trunk
I then start yelling, and Mrs Tribble comes up with a shoe and beats the one that talked yelling I saw it
The one that doesn?t talk pulls out a black object and hits her with it knocking her out
They take her and throw her in the back seat and I still in the trunk in the sack
I start to get pissed off, so I took a piss and yelled I pissed my sack, I pissed my sack
Then they pick me up from the wet sack and put me in the trunk.
The car then starts driving
Were in there for 10 hours
I had to take a shit so I decided to shit my sack
Once we got to the destination they opened the trunk and asked whats that smell
I then reply I shit my sack
They pick me up and took me in a building and then a room
They they bring Mrs Tribble in , She then starts biting the one that don?t talk so he pulls his object out and hits her again
They put her in the corner of the room
Then the one that talked sat me down and said ?you witnessed something that you weren?t suppose to witness that you didn?t witness
What you saw was out of this world technology that you didn?t witness
There are beings that come here to this world that don?t exist
We have an actual alien being here but we don?t actually have it
Were gonna show you it, but you didn?t see it.
Then he says come with me?
And then we all walked down a hall way
We come up to a locked door that opened by DNA finger prints
We go down another hall and in a cell is an alien standing there jizzing on us
And we get hit with a bluish goo. The man in black that talk opened the cell and hit it with the object knocking it out cold
While it?s on the ground it craps itself
The one that talked said ?we showed you something that we didn?t show you
We walk down to the gate and I see Luther Reigns in a cell
Edd asks whats he doing here
He replys he?s not actually here, you didn?t see him
Walked back to the security room where Mrs Tribble is getting up
As soon as she the men in black she throws a chair at the one that talks knocking him down
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out
Then he dragged her out of the room and puts her in the car
And the one that talks put me back in my sack
I asked for a clean one and said your not in a sack it doesn?t exist
They drive me back to my house on the way I piss my sack again.
They take me out of the sack and Mrs Tribble bytes the one that don?t talk
The 2nd one hits her with object again knocking her out cold
He dragged her to the steps and left her there the one that talked said I didn?t witness anything
He said if anyone asked where we were to tell them we weren?t anywhere.
He says we will be watching you and digging threw your trash
They get back in the car and dvive off

I got to hang out with that guy. He's cool as hell.

I actually enjoyed Constantine. Must be a white thing.

I think they changed so much of the story from the comic book. Have not seen it though, and I don't think I will based on what I heard from you guys.

I thought it was alright ,but Loved the opening scene. When that El Camino crashes into the guy. That was wild, kinda leveled off after that

I liked that movie :glugglug

Please feel free to keep making that post 500 times per day. I've already added you to ignore :thumbsup

I 've seen that movie some time ago and I must agree that it was the most crappy movie I have seen in a long time.

same here..the movie was good :thumbsup

i didn't even finish watching that crap.

Just watched that movie tonight, how are doing Big Red, I thought that first part was pretty cool too.

Never seen a good Keanu Reaves film. :2 cents:

Reviews of this movie have been mixed big time. I think a lot of people who don't like it don't understand it's based on a comic book story. It's not supposed to be real and have this great story behind it..it's a comic book brought to life. I thought it was a fucking cool. I can understand if this type of movie ain't your thing, but you can't denie the obvious hard work and time that went to into this film. The result was sweet eye candy. Reeves and his co stars didn't do a bad job either.

it was not as good as i expected. guess it was too over-rated.

I watched it the other night, and I want my $5 back. Keanu STILL can't act his way out of a wet paper bag, even when he's playing a dark, brooding character. Everyone else was good, though, and the special effects rocked.

Agreed..he was ATROCIOUS in the movie.
The only thing worse than his acting was THE MOVIE!

i would want to see this film, kinda curious bout what's with this movie.

rofl, did he say "whoa" in it haha

I watched it, and it sucked....I can not understand how anybody can like it

i made the mistake of seeing it in the movies back in feb or mar. i never fall asleep in a theater but this one had me well rested after it was over. best 8 bucks ever spent for a nap.

If I picked movies based on gfy opinions, I'd never see a movie again.

I don't think there's ever been a movie that gfy hasn't bashed.

Keanu Reaves is as wooden as Elizabeth the 1sts dildo.

constantine rocks!! :)

I've seen it on Silverscreen, and I don't consider watching it a big mistake.

I thought it rocked, best demons and depiction of hell I've seen in a movie.

I watched it...I was entertained..that's all I ask for.

Did I learn something valuable about life? No. that's what "very special Blossom" episodes are for. ;)

The special effects were good but that doesn't make a movie...

And why would they have broken down cars and burning buildings in hell?

not a bad flick. moderately entertaining.. overall not a great movie.. but it had some interesting scenes and the story was refreshingly different.

i guess it's not based on the 'real' hell?

Why not?

My perception of hell if there was one has always been that it's not really this lake full of fire and brimstone, but could be just an episode in your life that you play over and over.

Just another person's concept of what hell might be...I thought it looked pretty cool.

yeah, no shit

GFY is way harsher than Siskel and Ebert

missing lots of movie watching lately.
should be an interesting flick to watch.

:smokin

hell would be run by south central thugs

I like lucifer. I like lucifer movies. He kicks ass.
He was pretty much the only thing I liked in the movie.

the movie was kinda crap....

I'd say finnish taxman would be closer to the truth.

You guys are crazy. Constantine was sweet. Great comic book movie.