Dating Rituals - GoFuckYourself.com

GTS Mark · 07-03-2005, 12:29 PM

DATING RITUALS

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out

Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-karat ring

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head

Second Date: You get more great head

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents

Second date: Set the date of the wedding

Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner

Third Date: You get to pay her rent

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car

Second Date: She's pregnant

Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The "POINT" .

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

pr0 · 07-03-2005, 12:34 PM

irish women do rock......amen

Funbrunette · 07-03-2005, 12:36 PM

ROFL!!!!!

TheDatingNetworkCameron · 07-03-2005, 04:29 PM

LOL. That is too damn funny.

Sparks · 07-03-2005, 04:32 PM

Lol, that's pretty good.

nico-t · 07-03-2005, 05:44 PM

hahaa nice one

Drake · 07-03-2005, 05:49 PM

hahahaha

alec · 07-03-2005, 06:10 PM

Thanks for the helpful tips man!

sonofsam · 07-03-2005, 06:12 PM

i wish the "funny" emails people send me were actually as funny as this one

Spunky · 07-03-2005, 06:15 PM

So true..that's why I prefer Irish women

Libertine · 07-03-2005, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonofsam

i wish the "funny" emails people send me were actually as funny as this one

I should send your email address to the people who send me funny emails. They sent me this like five times already.

sniperwolf · 07-03-2005, 06:21 PM

rofl..some funny shit you got there

Bob_cougar · 07-03-2005, 06:38 PM

cool tips man, am learning now. hahaha

Vitasoy · 07-03-2005, 08:35 PM

haha I love it, those are great.

EmporerEJ · 07-03-2005, 08:38 PM

You forgot one:

Prostitute

1st date: It costs you the price of dinner, you get the exact sex YOU want, when YOU are done the date is over, you go home with a smile on your face, never have to see/speak to her again.

2nd Date: find another different "flavor" whore, repeat.
3rd date: find another different flavor whore, repeat.

Result:
Live happily ever after getting exactly what you paid for and NOT losing half on the trade-In, and NOT having eighteen years of weekly payments.

The point?
Now you know why Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Every deal is fair, because everyone gets exactly what they want and feels good afterward.

AkiraSS · 07-03-2005, 08:48 PM

/me packing bags and moving to Ireland ;)

maxxx_fucktor · 07-03-2005, 08:50 PM

that's a nice one! :laugh: i'll hunt for the irishes from now on.

Babagirls · 07-03-2005, 08:58 PM

hahahaha

07-03-2005, 12:29 PM	#1
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	Dating Rituals DATING RITUALS WHITE WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight Second date: You get to grope all over and make out Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position. IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. ITALIAN WOMEN First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-karat ring 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend. JEWISH WOMEN First Date: You get dynamite head Second Date: You get more great head Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. CHINESE WOMEN First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen. INDIAN WOMEN First date: Meet her parents Second date: Set the date of the wedding Third date: Wedding night. BLACK WOMEN First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner Third Date: You get to pay her rent Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you. MEXICAN WOMEN First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car Second Date: She's pregnant Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande. The "POINT" . DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

07-03-2005, 12:34 PM	#2
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	irish women do rock......amen __________________ __________ Loadedca$h - get sum! - Revengebucks - mmm rebills! - webair (gotz sErVrz)

07-03-2005, 12:36 PM	#3
Funbrunette Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 4,834	ROFL!!!!! __________________ Stephanie (Funbrunette) [email protected] ICQ: 155-713-409

07-03-2005, 04:29 PM	#4
TheDatingNetworkCameron Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 581	LOL. That is too damn funny. __________________ TheDatingNetwork.com Cameron Steer - Business Development Skype: Cameron.Steer3 Well sell our Email traffic! Hit me up!

07-03-2005, 06:10 PM	#8
alec Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,877	Thanks for the helpful tips man! __________________

07-03-2005, 04:32 PM	#5
Sparks Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern CA Posts: 2,466	Lol, that's pretty good.

07-03-2005, 05:44 PM	#6
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	hahaa nice one

07-03-2005, 05:49 PM	#7
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	hahahaha

07-03-2005, 06:12 PM	#9
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	i wish the "funny" emails people send me were actually as funny as this one __________________ I like turtles.

07-03-2005, 06:15 PM	#10
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	So true..that's why I prefer Irish women __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

07-03-2005, 06:21 PM	#12
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	rofl..some funny shit you got there __________________ ~Accepting design works~

07-03-2005, 06:38 PM	#13
Bob_cougar Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,935	cool tips man, am learning now. hahaha __________________

07-03-2005, 08:35 PM	#14
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	haha I love it, those are great. __________________ [email protected]

07-03-2005, 08:38 PM	#15
EmporerEJ Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Political subdivision United States, Continent North America, Planet Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy Posts: 282	You forgot one: Prostitute 1st date: It costs you the price of dinner, you get the exact sex YOU want, when YOU are done the date is over, you go home with a smile on your face, never have to see/speak to her again. 2nd Date: find another different "flavor" whore, repeat. 3rd date: find another different flavor whore, repeat. Result: Live happily ever after getting exactly what you paid for and NOT losing half on the trade-In, and NOT having eighteen years of weekly payments. The point? Now you know why Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Every deal is fair, because everyone gets exactly what they want and feels good afterward. __________________ Eric J. White Earn $$$ with the Virtual Sex Machine Affiliate program! Last edited by EmporerEJ; 07-03-2005 at 08:40 PM..

07-03-2005, 08:48 PM	#16
AkiraSS Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: ICQ: 17630227 Posts: 2,988	/me packing bags and moving to Ireland ;)

07-03-2005, 08:50 PM	#17
maxxx_fucktor Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,498	that's a nice one! :laugh: i'll hunt for the irishes from now on. __________________

07-03-2005, 08:58 PM	#18
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	hahahaha __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500