Athiest Quote of the Century: "Christian Fundamentalism:"

[lotusmike]

"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life." - Andrew Lias

How can anyone refute that?

[lotusmike]

A few more great quotes for the fellow heathens!

"The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them."
- Joseph Campbell

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
- Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo

"She bagan whoring worse than ever, remembering her girlhood, when she had played the whore in the land of Egypt, where she had been infatuated by profligates big-membered as donkeys, ejaculating violently as stallions. You were hankering for the debauchery of your girlhood, when they used to handle your nipples in Egypt and fondle your young breasts."
- Ezekiel 23:19-21, NJB (The Alleged Word of God)

"Happy is he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks."
- Psalms 137:8-9 (The Alleged Word of God)

"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church."
- Ferdinand Magellan

"Religions have the arrogance to tell nature what it is. Science, by contrast, has the grace to ask."
- Andrew Lias

"All theists are reduced to using sophistry to attempt to conjure their various gods into existence, because they universally have no evidence, and the more intelligent ones know it."
- randall g

[dig420]

good quotes my friend

[Myst]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
- Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo

"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church."
- Ferdinand Magellan

"Religions have the arrogance to tell nature what it is. Science, by contrast, has the grace to ask."
- Andrew Lias

beautiful
although I do believe in god

[- Jesus Christ -]

Do not be tainted by these devil quotes my children.

"Cookies are good, sex is bad." -Jesus Christ

"Why have an abortion when you can collect more welfare?" -Jesus Christ

Go forth and.... do... something...

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by Myst

beautiful
although I do believe in god

Which one? Vishnu? Bael? Zeus? Volcano God? There are thousands of them and they all have dusty old books of faith.

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by - Jesus Christ -

Do not be tainted by these devil quotes my children.

"Cookies are good, sex is bad." -Jesus Christ

"Why have an abortion when you can collect more welfare?" -Jesus Christ

Go forth and.... do... something...

- Jeffery Dahmer, notorious born-again murdering cannibal, February 17th
1992. He was since murdered by another prisoner, and now sits at the right
hand of God with all the other born-again Christians.

"I contend we are both atheists - I just believe in one fewer god than you
do. When you understand why you reject all other gods, You will understand
why I reject yours as well."
- Stephen F. Roberts

"I should not allow any child entrusted to my care to be adopted by a woman
who has had an abortion or used contraception. Such a woman is incapable
of love."
- Mother Teresa, demonstrating her warmth and understanding

The lesson today will be: "Our flat earth." Please turn to your bibles, chapters
2Peter3:5; 1Sam.2:8; 1Chron.16:30; Job37:3; Isa.11:12 and Rev.7:1.
Next week: "Our feathered friend the Bat." Please read: Lev.11:13; and Deut.14:11
in preparation. Then: "Pi equals 3." Please read: 1Kings7:23.

[bllott]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

A few more great quotes for the fellow heathens!

"The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them."
- Joseph Campbell

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
- Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo

"She bagan whoring worse than ever, remembering her girlhood, when she had played the whore in the land of Egypt, where she had been infatuated by profligates big-membered as donkeys, ejaculating violently as stallions. You were hankering for the debauchery of your girlhood, when they used to handle your nipples in Egypt and fondle your young breasts."
- Ezekiel 23:19-21, NJB (The Alleged Word of God)

"Happy is he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks."
- Psalms 137:8-9 (The Alleged Word of God)

"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church."
- Ferdinand Magellan

"Religions have the arrogance to tell nature what it is. Science, by contrast, has the grace to ask."
- Andrew Lias

"All theists are reduced to using sophistry to attempt to conjure their various gods into existence, because they universally have no evidence, and the more intelligent ones know it."
- randall g

you're a though guy now aren't you? piece of shit

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by bllott

you're a though guy now aren't you? piece of shit

How am I a piece of shit? Do those quotes exhibit logic and perhaps you are Christian yourself and it strains your brain?

Chew on this:

1.) there's no valid evidence for supernatural entities

2.) the Christian Bible (which is supposed to be evidence for one particular god) is full of inaccuracies, errors and evils which contradict that god's properties as commonly postulated, rendering it as useless as any other ancient religious text in terms of valid evidence for the supernatural
all the thousands of other gods that have been invented throughout history have a similar lack of evidence

3.) the existance of religion is easily explained in natural terms when you look at the big picture - it evolved as a way to comfort people in their miserable lives as well as enforce societal rules and allow people in early civilizations to be controlled

4.) a very telling fact is that over time, gods have been required to explain less and less of the universe, as our knowledge (obtained through the scientific method) has expanded (see Galileo). This "god-of-the-gaps" gets smaller and smaller over time, and I've no reason to think it won't disappear eventually

5.) the so-called "yearning" to believe in higher powers stems from early man's ignorance of the workings of the universe and the desperate need to explain and hopefully control natural processes such as weather - there was nothing more important to early agricultural civilizations than reliable seasons
oh, almost forgot, it provides an easy comfort for our understandable fear of death

6.) there is no absolute morality ordained by a higher power - all attempts to define one degenerate into huge grey areas

And last, for you: "Creationists are small-minded, malevolent, not very bright and can't get their science right - definitely made in God's image."
- anon

[Joe Citizen]

Originally Posted by bllott

you're a though guy now aren't you? piece of shit

Ahh... another follower of Christ proving that he's nothing more than a hypocritical dickhead!

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by Joe Citizen

Ahh... another follower of Christ proving that he's nothing more than a hypocritical dickhead!

Hehe. Well -if- he is a Christian, calling me a "piece of shit" isn't very well Christian of him.

"Whosoever shall say Thou fool, shall be in danger of hellfire." - Matthew 5:22

Actually, with further inspection, [Jesus said] "Ye fools and blind." - Matthew 23:17 one of hundreds af babble contridictions (which of course the pulpit conveniently glosses over.)

What a bunch of sheep.

[Redrob]

Where is Harry Potter when we need him?

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by Redrob

Where is Harry Potter when we need him?

Chasing invisible pink unicorns and creating things that go bump in the night.

btw, love your sig quote. Right on.

[Mr. Pat]

i always hear about people who believe in "god" though they don't believe in xianity or specifiy another one they believe in......i bet if they had to give up their porn or their sexual lifestyle, their belief in "god" will go away fast!

[bllott]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

How am I a piece of shit? Do those quotes exhibit logic and perhaps you are Christian yourself and it strains your brain?

Chew on this:

1.) there's no valid evidence for supernatural entities

2.) the Christian Bible (which is supposed to be evidence for one particular god) is full of inaccuracies, errors and evils which contradict that god's properties as commonly postulated, rendering it as useless as any other ancient religious text in terms of valid evidence for the supernatural
all the thousands of other gods that have been invented throughout history have a similar lack of evidence

3.) the existance of religion is easily explained in natural terms when you look at the big picture - it evolved as a way to comfort people in their miserable lives as well as enforce societal rules and allow people in early civilizations to be controlled

4.) a very telling fact is that over time, gods have been required to explain less and less of the universe, as our knowledge (obtained through the scientific method) has expanded (see Galileo). This "god-of-the-gaps" gets smaller and smaller over time, and I've no reason to think it won't disappear eventually

5.) the so-called "yearning" to believe in higher powers stems from early man's ignorance of the workings of the universe and the desperate need to explain and hopefully control natural processes such as weather - there was nothing more important to early agricultural civilizations than reliable seasons
oh, almost forgot, it provides an easy comfort for our understandable fear of death

6.) there is no absolute morality ordained by a higher power - all attempts to define one degenerate into huge grey areas

And last, for you: "Creationists are small-minded, malevolent, not very bright and can't get their science right - definitely made in God's image."
- anon

perfect.. i guess you feel really good now

[reynold]

"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church."
- Ferdinand Magellan

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
- Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo

Glad you find both these buddy!

[Joe Citizen]

Originally Posted by bllott

perfect.. i guess you feel really good now

I feel good knowing your a worthless little sigwhore who can't make ends meet without whoring out your sig on webmaster forums.

What's wrong? Not smart enough to run the Fry-o-later at McDonalds?

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by bllott

perfect.. i guess you feel really good now

Glad I planted some seeds

I hope you don't believe i'm a sinner. Perhaps I have been posessed by the devil and need your prayers. If true, please pray for me then. In fact, that would be an honor!

Hey, if you know some other mindless fundies who like to pray all day and night, give them my nick too - I'm going for a record. We'll have a little contest here on gfy. Don't forget Juicy

If it's any help, I suggest you stop praying for me long enough to eat, shit and sleep occasionally. I won't mind. But I insist on at least 16 hours a day! Anything less and you might let me and Jesus down!

And if Make Believe Buddy up there in the sky decides to give me the big Holy Lobotomy, I'll be sure to get back to you so we can all bleat like sheep together.

[pornguy]

And let us not forget that more people have died at the hand of the church than any other. But bush is pushing a close second.

[woj]

interesting quotes...

[nofx]

bump for a great thread

[reynold]

amen for that brotha, aleluyah. :D

[ADL Colin]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

"The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them."
- Joseph Campbell

.... Nice

[lotusmike]

Originally Posted by reynold

amen for that brotha, aleluyah. :D

Repent and we're all saved. Period.

[rambler]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life." - Andrew Lias

How can anyone refute that?

I like that one.
Too bad Boobmaster (a nick from the past who was a hardcore Christian) isn't here to argue his case for god....it used to be really amusing seeing him get all worked up. (ahhh.... good times )

[dig420]

Originally Posted by bllott

perfect.. i guess you feel really good now

uh oh, I think a guy who thinks he's a Christian just got his brain involuntarily expanded.

Does it hurt?

[The Sultan Of Smut]

Thread of the day! Thanks bllott

edit: spelling...

[Theo The Theologian]

Originally Posted by lotusmike

"I contend we are both atheists - I just believe in one fewer god than you
do. When you understand why you reject all other gods, You will understand
why I reject yours as well."
- Stephen F. Roberts

This one is going in my sig. Great quote.