best way to get out of jury duty? - GoFuckYourself.com

Triple 6 · 05-30-2005, 10:50 AM

????

im not sure saying 'i am anti-religious and the display of "in god we trust" in the courtroom violates the very roots of my beliefs' will work, but im gonna use that crap as a last resort.

you ever get out of jury duty? how?

Apache_A · 05-30-2005, 10:51 AM

join the army

nofx · 05-30-2005, 10:53 AM

tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

Triple 6 · 05-30-2005, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apache_A

join the army

heh. i am, as they told me, "permanently disqualified for military enlistment"

Apache_A · 05-30-2005, 10:55 AM

why do want to get out of doing it?

Triple 6 · 05-30-2005, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx

tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

awesome. Sounds so easy!

KRL · 05-30-2005, 10:58 AM

What notice?

Terry · 05-30-2005, 11:05 AM

You could always use the eye for an eye excuse. Tell them something like because the guy is in court, it must mean he is guilty. So no matter what you will say he is guilty.

Triple 6 · 05-30-2005, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRL

What notice?

lol, ok, i got farther then that, maybe i should have said some bullshit then, but, i never was summoned for jury duty before so when i got the thing in the mail i read into the whole 'if you dont fill this shit out you go to jail' bit too seriously, lol, so i filled the questions out online. Next week I get another notice sayin I am now selected and have to appear on June 6th, call a day b4 to confirm.

I think it would be more fun to go, then blurt out at high decibel some random obsecenities, then tell them i forgot to fill out on the form i have 'tourettes'.

mikeyddddd · 05-30-2005, 11:17 AM

Tell them your prior commitments at GFY are of importance to national security that require you to be out of town at that time. But, you can make it a week from next Tuesday.

kane · 05-30-2005, 11:37 AM

last time I got a jury duty notice I was really busy so I just wrote them a note saying that I am self employed and have no employees to do the work for me and that being on jury duty and away from work would harm my business and they excused me.

MetaMan · 05-30-2005, 11:38 AM

commit suicide, you may as well, just like burger king the world doesnt want you around for very much longer.

Penthouse Tony · 05-30-2005, 11:49 AM

Usually everytime I get asked to do jury duty it's for an old address that I just moved from so I'm no longer in that county.

jukeboxfrank · 05-30-2005, 11:53 AM

Tell them your religious beliefs will not let you judge others......works every time.

mardigras · 05-30-2005, 12:03 PM

Judges are wise to all the excuses people try to use to get out of jury duty. Do it the other way around... act extremely anxious to be on the jury. Tell them you've been itching to be on a jury because you are a major fan of CourtTV and as a result you have developed a 6th sense of who's guilty or not just from their body language and thrilled at the chance to contribute your abilities to get the scum off the street... be sure the lawyers hear you. Good luck!

sperbonzo · 05-30-2005, 12:04 PM

Just tell them the truth. You have no interest in contributing to your community, you don't feel any sense of responsibility or have any wish to do anything that isn't in your own specifc self-interests, and you've decided that since you don't want to do your part in any way for your country, you've now decided to move to another country that you DO wish to be a part of.... or Antarctica, where you can live alone and not be forced to involve yourself with anyone else at all

rickholio · 05-30-2005, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

Just tell them the truth. You have no interest in contributing to your community, you don't feel any sense of responsibility or have any wish to do anything that isn't in your own specifc self-interests, and you've decided that since you don't want to do your part in any way for your country, you've now decided to move to another country that you DO wish to be a part of.... or Antarctica, where you can live alone and not be forced to involve yourself with anyone else at all

He's already in the right place then, isn't he?

Wiggles · 05-30-2005, 12:53 PM

tell them your in the porn industry.

infecto · 05-30-2005, 01:10 PM

I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

CDSmith · 05-30-2005, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto

I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

Egg-zactly. It is your civic duty really. Not a responsibility to be taken lightly. Some even consider it an honor, but those are the people the rest of us poke fun at. :D

If someone really REALLY wants out though, what you have to do is have yourself mentally prepared. A lawyer is going to ask you a series of questions at some point in order to test your suitability. If you're sharp you'll be able to come up with several answers that will sour them on the idea of approving you.

pornguy · 05-30-2005, 01:19 PM

Tell them that you believe that if the cops arrested them, then they are guilty.

If it is civil, the victim should be paid.

ricks · 05-30-2005, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx

tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

not true, they will pick you for a white guys trial or whatever color you are not racist against, unless you hate everybody which wouldnt make you a racist in the first place

i once tried saying that i did not believe in the principles of the jury system (ie. being tried by your peers) and didnt feel that i could convict anybody as a juror, they still picked me

Marcus Aurelius · 05-30-2005, 01:19 PM

If you are white tell them you are in the klan.

ricks · 05-30-2005, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto

I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

if it was a day or 2 i could handle it, but i can see why somebody wouldnt want to be stuck on a jury for a 10 year tax trial or something, which can always happen... i am too important to the economy to be taken out of circulation like that for any extended period of time... let some deadbeat take my place

ricks · 05-30-2005, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdcq

If you are white tell them you are in the klan.

that is perjury, unless you really are in the klan, they can imprison you on the spot for criminal contempt for saying something dumb like that

Nismo · 05-30-2005, 02:01 PM

Just say you are a pornographer or are in the entertainment industry.

They hate pornographers & entertainers.

DatingGold · 05-30-2005, 02:14 PM

Say if the police arrested him/her then they must be guilty.

Peaches · 05-30-2005, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto

I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

I agree.

However, I also think there should be professional jurists instead of the system we have now which basically gets you those who weren't smart enough to figure out how to get out of it as a the "jury of your peers".

tony286 · 05-30-2005, 04:48 PM

go serve its your duty as a citzen

kernelpanic · 05-30-2005, 04:52 PM

Tell them you are in the porn industry.
Tell them that your involvement in the porn industry would prevent you from giving a shit about what happens in the courtroom.
Tell them you are enthusiastic about jury duty, because you'll finally get your chance to put those criminals in their place.
Tell them you can't wait to start, since there has to be somebody to help get rid of all the dangerous minorities.
Tell them you don't believe in the jury system, since OJ walked.
Tell them that hahahahahahas and spics are ruining the country.
Go to the selection interview wearing a Confederate t-shirt.
et al

Rob · 05-30-2005, 04:56 PM

Go to Office Depot or Staples and buy yourself some of those t-shirt inkjet iron-ons. Then put this onto a shirt, wear it during jury selection and you're golden!

CDSmith · 05-30-2005, 04:59 PM

Do a search on google for "how to get out of jury duty" :D

WebTitan · 05-30-2005, 05:07 PM

wear a tshirt that says 'kill them all...let god sort them out"

ronaldo · 05-30-2005, 05:12 PM

The one time a criminal record would come in handy, if you have one.

reynold · 05-30-2005, 06:48 PM

Tell them you're dreaming of becoming a politician or a Hollywood actor..

Turboface · 05-30-2005, 06:56 PM

Tell them that you can tell if a person's guilty just by lookin' at them.

Spunky · 05-30-2005, 06:57 PM

Shave your head and draw a swastika on your forehead

Jay_StandAhead · 05-30-2005, 07:02 PM

Then them you'd be a perfect jury, cause you can spot guilty people on sight

Dirty Dane · 05-30-2005, 07:04 PM

Show up in ballerina outfit and start peeing in your pants with a proud baby smile.

05-30-2005, 10:50 AM	#1
Triple 6 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: isN'T everything Posts: 5,394	best way to get out of jury duty? ???? im not sure saying 'i am anti-religious and the display of "in god we trust" in the courtroom violates the very roots of my beliefs' will work, but im gonna use that crap as a last resort. you ever get out of jury duty? how? __________________ SIG TOO SMALL! Maximum 1200x600 button and no more than 30 text lines of ALL SIZES and COLORS. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 6240x4800 instead of a 1024x800.

05-30-2005, 10:51 AM	#2
Apache_A Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 434	join the army __________________ ICQ:2116226

05-30-2005, 10:53 AM	#3
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias) __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

05-30-2005, 10:55 AM	#5
Apache_A Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 434	why do want to get out of doing it? __________________ ICQ:2116226

05-30-2005, 10:58 AM	#7
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	What notice? __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

05-30-2005, 11:05 AM	#8
Terry Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 1,604	You could always use the eye for an eye excuse. Tell them something like because the guy is in court, it must mean he is guilty. So no matter what you will say he is guilty. __________________ TengaCash ICQ: 6776764

05-30-2005, 11:17 AM	#10
mikeyddddd Viva la vulva! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself Posts: 16,557	Tell them your prior commitments at GFY are of importance to national security that require you to be out of town at that time. But, you can make it a week from next Tuesday. __________________ AdultStarProfits AmbyaCash AnilosCash AzianiGold ColdHardCash FlashTheMoney IdolBucks MediumPimpin NSCash Nubiles PussyCash ScoreCash Sextronix SpunkyCash TubeTitans Twistys

05-30-2005, 11:37 AM	#11
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	last time I got a jury duty notice I was really busy so I just wrote them a note saying that I am self employed and have no employees to do the work for me and that being on jury duty and away from work would harm my business and they excused me.

05-30-2005, 11:38 AM	#12
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	commit suicide, you may as well, just like burger king the world doesnt want you around for very much longer.

05-30-2005, 11:49 AM	#13
Penthouse Tony Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mountain View, CA Posts: 5,835	Usually everytime I get asked to do jury duty it's for an old address that I just moved from so I'm no longer in that county. __________________ aamos AT FFN dot com Penthouse.com Business Development ICQ: 49090846 \| Yahoo IM: ff_aamos

05-30-2005, 11:53 AM	#14
jukeboxfrank Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: www.jenniferworthington.com Posts: 1,207	Tell them your religious beliefs will not let you judge others......works every time. __________________ ICQ= 231-182-592

05-30-2005, 12:03 PM	#15
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	Judges are wise to all the excuses people try to use to get out of jury duty. Do it the other way around... act extremely anxious to be on the jury. Tell them you've been itching to be on a jury because you are a major fan of CourtTV and as a result you have developed a 6th sense of who's guilty or not just from their body language and thrilled at the chance to contribute your abilities to get the scum off the street... be sure the lawyers hear you. Good luck! __________________ .

05-30-2005, 12:04 PM	#16
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	Just tell them the truth. You have no interest in contributing to your community, you don't feel any sense of responsibility or have any wish to do anything that isn't in your own specifc self-interests, and you've decided that since you don't want to do your part in any way for your country, you've now decided to move to another country that you DO wish to be a part of.... or Antarctica, where you can live alone and not be forced to involve yourself with anyone else at all __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

05-30-2005, 12:53 PM	#18
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	tell them your in the porn industry. __________________ no sig

05-30-2005, 01:10 PM	#19
infecto Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,697	I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

05-30-2005, 01:19 PM	#21
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Tell them that you believe that if the cops arrested them, then they are guilty. If it is civil, the victim should be paid. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

05-30-2005, 01:19 PM	#23
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	If you are white tell them you are in the klan.

05-30-2005, 02:01 PM	#26
Nismo Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: FLORIDA Posts: 4,977	Just say you are a pornographer or are in the entertainment industry. They hate pornographers & entertainers. __________________ i buy massive xxx dating traffic.

05-30-2005, 02:14 PM	#27
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05-30-2005, 04:48 PM	#29
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	go serve its your duty as a citzen

05-30-2005, 04:52 PM	#30
kernelpanic Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,961	Tell them you are in the porn industry. Tell them that your involvement in the porn industry would prevent you from giving a shit about what happens in the courtroom. Tell them you are enthusiastic about jury duty, because you'll finally get your chance to put those criminals in their place. Tell them you can't wait to start, since there has to be somebody to help get rid of all the dangerous minorities. Tell them you don't believe in the jury system, since OJ walked. Tell them that hahahahahahas and spics are ruining the country. Go to the selection interview wearing a Confederate t-shirt. et al __________________ ZangoCash - Turn Your Traffic Into Ca$h. $.40 Per Install - No Tier

05-30-2005, 04:56 PM	#31
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	Go to Office Depot or Staples and buy yourself some of those t-shirt inkjet iron-ons. Then put this onto a shirt, wear it during jury selection and you're golden! __________________

05-30-2005, 04:59 PM	#32
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Do a search on google for "how to get out of jury duty" :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

05-30-2005, 05:07 PM	#33
WebTitan Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western NY Posts: 5,114	wear a tshirt that says 'kill them all...let god sort them out"

05-30-2005, 05:12 PM	#34
ronaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ#: 272000271 Posts: 5,475	The one time a criminal record would come in handy, if you have one.

05-30-2005, 06:48 PM	#35
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Tell them you're dreaming of becoming a politician or a Hollywood actor..

05-30-2005, 06:56 PM	#36
Turboface Back in Black Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 9,976	Tell them that you can tell if a person's guilty just by lookin' at them. __________________ Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites

05-30-2005, 06:57 PM	#37
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05-30-2005, 07:02 PM	#38
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05-30-2005, 07:04 PM	#39
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