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-   -   best way to get out of jury duty? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=474270)

Triple 6 05-30-2005 10:50 AM

best way to get out of jury duty?
 
????

im not sure saying 'i am anti-religious and the display of "in god we trust" in the courtroom violates the very roots of my beliefs' will work, but im gonna use that crap as a last resort.

you ever get out of jury duty? how?

Apache_A 05-30-2005 10:51 AM

join the army

nofx 05-30-2005 10:53 AM

tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

Triple 6 05-30-2005 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apache_A
join the army

heh. i am, as they told me, "permanently disqualified for military enlistment"

:thumbsup

Apache_A 05-30-2005 10:55 AM

why do want to get out of doing it?

Triple 6 05-30-2005 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx
tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

awesome. Sounds so easy!

KRL 05-30-2005 10:58 AM

http://www.organizer4me.com/images/TRASH.gif

What notice?

Terry 05-30-2005 11:05 AM

You could always use the eye for an eye excuse. Tell them something like because the guy is in court, it must mean he is guilty. So no matter what you will say he is guilty.

Triple 6 05-30-2005 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRL


lol, ok, i got farther then that, maybe i should have said some bullshit then, but, i never was summoned for jury duty before so when i got the thing in the mail i read into the whole 'if you dont fill this shit out you go to jail' bit too seriously, lol, so i filled the questions out online. Next week I get another notice sayin I am now selected and have to appear on June 6th, call a day b4 to confirm. :( I think it would be more fun to go, then blurt out at high decibel some random obsecenities, then tell them i forgot to fill out on the form i have 'tourettes'.

mikeyddddd 05-30-2005 11:17 AM

Tell them your prior commitments at GFY are of importance to national security that require you to be out of town at that time. But, you can make it a week from next Tuesday.

kane 05-30-2005 11:37 AM

last time I got a jury duty notice I was really busy so I just wrote them a note saying that I am self employed and have no employees to do the work for me and that being on jury duty and away from work would harm my business and they excused me.

MetaMan 05-30-2005 11:38 AM

commit suicide, you may as well, just like burger king the world doesnt want you around for very much longer.

Penthouse Tony 05-30-2005 11:49 AM

Usually everytime I get asked to do jury duty it's for an old address that I just moved from so I'm no longer in that county.

jukeboxfrank 05-30-2005 11:53 AM

Tell them your religious beliefs will not let you judge others......works every time.

mardigras 05-30-2005 12:03 PM

Judges are wise to all the excuses people try to use to get out of jury duty. Do it the other way around... act extremely anxious to be on the jury. Tell them you've been itching to be on a jury because you are a major fan of CourtTV and as a result you have developed a 6th sense of who's guilty or not just from their body language and thrilled at the chance to contribute your abilities to get the scum off the street... be sure the lawyers hear you. Good luck! :upsidedow

sperbonzo 05-30-2005 12:04 PM

Just tell them the truth. You have no interest in contributing to your community, you don't feel any sense of responsibility or have any wish to do anything that isn't in your own specifc self-interests, and you've decided that since you don't want to do your part in any way for your country, you've now decided to move to another country that you DO wish to be a part of.... or Antarctica, where you can live alone and not be forced to involve yourself with anyone else at all

rickholio 05-30-2005 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sperbonzo
Just tell them the truth. You have no interest in contributing to your community, you don't feel any sense of responsibility or have any wish to do anything that isn't in your own specifc self-interests, and you've decided that since you don't want to do your part in any way for your country, you've now decided to move to another country that you DO wish to be a part of.... or Antarctica, where you can live alone and not be forced to involve yourself with anyone else at all

He's already in the right place then, isn't he? :winkwink:

Wiggles 05-30-2005 12:53 PM

tell them your in the porn industry.

infecto 05-30-2005 01:10 PM

I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

CDSmith 05-30-2005 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto
I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

Egg-zactly. It is your civic duty really. Not a responsibility to be taken lightly. Some even consider it an honor, but those are the people the rest of us poke fun at. :D


If someone really REALLY wants out though, what you have to do is have yourself mentally prepared. A lawyer is going to ask you a series of questions at some point in order to test your suitability. If you're sharp you'll be able to come up with several answers that will sour them on the idea of approving you.

pornguy 05-30-2005 01:19 PM

Tell them that you believe that if the cops arrested them, then they are guilty.

If it is civil, the victim should be paid.

ricks 05-30-2005 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx
tell them you know the person or you are racist(they cannot pick people who are racist or who would have some kind of bias)

not true, they will pick you for a white guys trial or whatever color you are not racist against, unless you hate everybody which wouldnt make you a racist in the first place

i once tried saying that i did not believe in the principles of the jury system (ie. being tried by your peers) and didnt feel that i could convict anybody as a juror, they still picked me :upsidedow

Marcus Aurelius 05-30-2005 01:19 PM

If you are white tell them you are in the klan. :1orglaugh

ricks 05-30-2005 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto
I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

if it was a day or 2 i could handle it, but i can see why somebody wouldnt want to be stuck on a jury for a 10 year tax trial or something, which can always happen... i am too important to the economy to be taken out of circulation like that for any extended period of time... let some deadbeat take my place

ricks 05-30-2005 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdcq
If you are white tell them you are in the klan. :1orglaugh

that is perjury, unless you really are in the klan, they can imprison you on the spot for criminal contempt for saying something dumb like that

Nismo 05-30-2005 02:01 PM

Just say you are a pornographer or are in the entertainment industry.

They hate pornographers & entertainers.

DatingGold 05-30-2005 02:14 PM

Say if the police arrested him/her then they must be guilty.

Peaches 05-30-2005 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infecto
I think its stupid to get out of jury duty. People put so little regard to it. I just hope if I ever need a jury that I won't have idiots on it that don't want to be there.

I agree.

However, I also think there should be professional jurists instead of the system we have now which basically gets you those who weren't smart enough to figure out how to get out of it as a the "jury of your peers".

tony286 05-30-2005 04:48 PM

go serve its your duty as a citzen

kernelpanic 05-30-2005 04:52 PM

  • Tell them you are in the porn industry.
  • Tell them that your involvement in the porn industry would prevent you from giving a shit about what happens in the courtroom.
  • Tell them you are enthusiastic about jury duty, because you'll finally get your chance to put those criminals in their place.
  • Tell them you can't wait to start, since there has to be somebody to help get rid of all the dangerous minorities.
  • Tell them you don't believe in the jury system, since OJ walked.
  • Tell them that hahahahahahas and spics are ruining the country.
  • Go to the selection interview wearing a Confederate t-shirt.
  • et al

Rob 05-30-2005 04:56 PM

Go to Office Depot or Staples and buy yourself some of those t-shirt inkjet iron-ons. Then put this onto a shirt, wear it during jury selection and you're golden! :thumbsup


http://www.redvoltaire.net/IMG/jpg/ku-klux-klan_200.jpg

CDSmith 05-30-2005 04:59 PM

Do a search on google for "how to get out of jury duty" :D

WebTitan 05-30-2005 05:07 PM

wear a tshirt that says 'kill them all...let god sort them out"

ronaldo 05-30-2005 05:12 PM

The one time a criminal record would come in handy, if you have one.

reynold 05-30-2005 06:48 PM

Tell them you're dreaming of becoming a politician or a Hollywood actor..

Turboface 05-30-2005 06:56 PM

Tell them that you can tell if a person's guilty just by lookin' at them.

:winkwink:

Spunky 05-30-2005 06:57 PM

Shave your head and draw a swastika on your forehead

Jay_StandAhead 05-30-2005 07:02 PM

Then them you'd be a perfect jury, cause you can spot guilty people on sight

Dirty Dane 05-30-2005 07:04 PM

Show up in ballerina outfit and start peeing in your pants with a proud baby smile.

:pimp


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