The better way to "whack" someone - GoFuckYourself.com

Xster · 05-02-2005, 06:48 PM

How would you rather see someone die in a Mob movie...

Plastic bag over the head?

or choked with a wire?

In my screenplay "TOWNIES" I use the wire for one of the mob hits, but now I'm thinking the plastic bag might be more ammusing. The victim could poke a hole with his finger, where his mouth is, as he is suffocating, to breath again (that's what I would do). Then the hitman gets frustrated and shoots the victim in the back of the head?

Here's what I have now with the wire.

INT. DOYLE?S CAR - NIGHT
Doyle slides in and sets his gun on the passenger seat. He sticks a key in the ignition and looks into the rear view mirror. Suddenly sees --

MICKEY staring back at him in the reflection.

DOYLE reaches for his gun. In the blink of an eye, Mickey wraps steel wire around Doyle's neck and tightens. Doyle gags and tries to pry his fingers under the wire. Mickey brings his head up against Doyle?s ear, teeth gritted.

MICKEY
Give Elvis my best.

The wire tears into Mickey?s latex gloves. Doyle?s eyes bulge out of his apple red face.

--------------- Im meeting with mgm monday so I'm just trying to polish this bitch up before hand. thanks.

brand0n · 05-02-2005, 06:49 PM

hit em with a fucking bat

Spunky · 05-02-2005, 06:50 PM

You have been thinking about this for awhile hmmm?

ytcracker · 05-02-2005, 06:50 PM

yea do the bag

brand0n · 05-02-2005, 06:51 PM

or you could always
wack em with a fucking golf club

thats good stuff

Xster · 05-02-2005, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brand0n

hit em with a fucking bat

A BAT is used in an earlier scene!...........

INT. VAN (MOVING) - CHARLESTOWN STREET - DAY
Seth drives a van down the street slowly. Trigger?s shotgun, John squats behind the console. Seth?s in plain clothing, John and Trigger are dressed like Jewish Rabbis. Seth?s cell phone RINGS. He looks at his caller ID that reads ?MICKEY?. Seth shuts his phone off. Trigger?s phone RINGS seconds later.

SETH
(to Trigger)
Don?t answer it! Shut your phones off. Both of you.

Seth shuts his phone off. Johns phone rings next.

JOHN
It?s Mickey.

SETH
No phones on the job, you know that.

JOHN
OK. OK.
John powers his phone off.

TRIGGER
(points)
There he is there.

EXT. SULLY?S PUB - STREET
Joey Sullivan walks uneasily toward his car.

INT. VAN (MOVING)
John steps to the van?s side sliding door and clenches the handle. The van creeps up behind Joey and stops.

EXT. VAN
The passenger and side door whips open. John and Trigger dart out of the van.

EXT. SULLY?S PUB
Trigger smashes Joey over the head with a baseball bat, it cracks in half. Joey drops. Zappa walks out of the bar holding car keys up.

ZAPPA
You forgot your keys!?

Zappa freezes. The gang throws Joey in the back of the van. Zappa hides himself behind the wall. The van takes off.

Xster · 05-02-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ytcracker

yea do the bag

I think so too. The wires been done a zillion times.

seeric · 05-02-2005, 06:56 PM

the way tony soprano whacked ralphie in the kitchen. that shit was hardcore.

Xster · 05-02-2005, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1R3K

the way tony soprano whacked ralphie in the kitchen. that shit was hardcore.

Didn't he stomp him to death? I forget but I remember the episode!

brand0n · 05-02-2005, 06:59 PM

crack him in the head with a toaster.

thaifan99 · 05-02-2005, 07:00 PM

Chainsaw! Arm/leg/head...........

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:01 PM

How about a hacksaw? haha! Heres the middle of a scene where a guy is gettin' chopped the fuck up.

MICKEY
(plastic over floor)
What's this shit for? Where?s Seth?

Trigger sips his beer and points with the neck of the bottle to the

BATHROOM DOOR
it?s opened a crack. Seth?s arm comes in and out of view as he saws back and forth over a pail bloody leg that dangles over the brim of a bath tub.

MICKEY
Who-the-fuck-is-that? Don?t even say that?s Joey Sullivan.

TRIGGER
Good guess... Told ya I'd take care of it bro.

MICKEY
FUCK.

VIPimp · 05-02-2005, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xster

I think so too. The wires been done a zillion times.

yep... i vote for the bag.

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VIPimp

yep... i vote for the bag.

Thanks man.

nofx · 05-02-2005, 07:05 PM

he is getting ready to take his kids/family on an outing, he loads his loved ones, in the car first, as he is walking to get in the drivers side, KERBOOM, the car is engulfed in flames and his loved ones are now screaming in agony and burned alive. he has to spend the rest of his life(unless he kills himself) living with that memory. (OR he gets in the car turns the key in the ignition, KERBOOM car bomb explodes while his whole family is in the car with him) wired bomb under each seat goes off, or jugs full of gasoline + pipe bomb with nails and glass strapped around it for maximum effect + maximum fire.

cut brake line (thats prob too played out)

assassinate him from a distance, head shot

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx

he is getting ready to take his kids/family on an outing, he loads his loved ones, in the car first, as he is walking to get in the drivers side, KERBOOM, the car is engulfed in flames and his loved ones are now screaming in agony and burned alive. he has to spend the rest of his life(unless he kills himself) living with that memory. (OR he gets in the car turns the key in the ignition, KERBOOM car bomb explodes while his whole family is in the car with him) wired bomb under each seat goes off, or jugs full of gasoline + pipe bomb with nails and glass strapped around it for maximum effect + maximum fire.

cut brake line (thats prob too played out)

assassinate him from a distance, head shot

Very E-vil. I don't know how Hollywood will feel about it, but I love it. haha! The only problem is you cant have a "hero/protagonist" kill women and children and have the audience still care about them after. Believe me I'd love to have a family screaming on fire. Sounds fun to watch. Jk.

nofx · 05-02-2005, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xster

Very E-vil. I don't know how Hollywood will feel about it, but I love it. haha! The only problem is you cant have a "hero/protagonist" kill women and children and have the audience still care about them after. Believe me I'd love to have a family screaming on fire. Sounds fun to watch. Jk.

fuck mainstream hollywood bullshit, seriously. I have been seriously thinking about writing my own movie. the bad guys WILL win. the good guys will die within the first 30 minutes of the film.(ie. the good guys will not be able to disarm the nuke and the world will explode OR the good guy/hero will not be able to save his family that is kidnapped and they kill them and he has to live with that fact) children and women will die horrid deaths, screaming until they die. why does it have to be so padded and "lovely-dovey" ? this is real life, if you want to portray REAL hate, you have to REALLY show it. thats real fucking hate man, if you fuck with me or my family, im going to give you the worst possible death I can think of.

so what if it gets an R or even X rating, fuck making movies for the masses. make a movie for the people who truely understand reality and hate. but SADLY i guess if you want to make money(WHICH IT SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT) you have to appeal to the masses, sad thats how it works. I highly doubt any major film company would touch my idea(s) anyways. would have to be totally independant.

d00t · 05-02-2005, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx

fuck mainstream hollywood bullshit, seriously. I have been seriously thinking about writing my own movie. the bad guys WILL win. the good guys will die within the first 30 minutes of the film.(ie. the good guys will not be able to disarm the nuke and the world will explode OR the good guy/hero will not be able to save his family that is kidnapped and they kill them and he has to live with that fact) children and women will die horrid deaths, screaming until they die. why does it have to be so padded and "lovely-dovey" ? this is real life, if you want to portray REAL hate, you have to REALLY show it. thats real fucking hate man, if you fuck with me or my family, im going to give you the worst possible death I can think of.

so what if it gets an R or even X rating, fuck making movies for the masses. make a movie for the people who truely understand reality and hate. but SADLY i guess if you want to make money(WHICH IT SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT) you have to appeal to the masses, sad thats how it works. I highly doubt any major film company would touch my idea(s) anyways. would have to be totally independant.

brilliant...absoltely brilliant!

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:16 PM

Irish version of....

"SLEEPS WITH THE FISHES".

INT. FITZ HOUSE - ENTERTAINMENT ROOM - DAY
Fitz sweats and paces back and forth behind his desk. He swigs a bottle of whiskey, and sways a handgun around. Paddy sits relaxed in front of the desk and eyes Fitz carefully.

FITZ
Where the fucks my reinforcements!?

PADDY
Probably stuck in traffic.

FITZ
Call em up, see what?s the hell?s the hold up. I?m a sittin? duck here.

Paddy dials. Fitz continues to pace and drink.

PADDY
No answer... Might be a signal problem... Don?t worry ?bout it, they?ll be here.

FITZ
Don?t worry about it? Don?t fuckin? worry about it? My muscles?s layin? in the street right now like a piece of Swiss fuckin? cheese, and I shouldn?t worry?.. Your second in command! My advisor! Right now I need good fuckin' advice! Don't worry about it? That's fuckin' brilliant Paddy. Just brilliant.

PADDY
Hey, I told it wasn?t a good idea to move on Mickey?s crew. What?d you think they were gonna do? Hide? Hit the mattresses? That?d be the day.

FITZ
They weren?t suppose to do nothin?! They?re all suppose to be fuckin? dead right now! But no, that?s too much for Doyle. Instead of doing his fuckin? job, he was beddin? that motherfuckin' cocksuckin' bitch.

PADDY
This is a peaceful suburban neighborhood. Nobody?s crazy enough to come out here.

FITZ
Your kiddin? me right?

Paddy checks the time on his watch and looks into his pack of smokes. He grabs a set of keys off the desk.

FITZ
?The fuck you goin??

Paddy stands.

PADDY
I?m outa smokes. You need anything?

Fitz sets his whiskey down and retrieves a can of Murphy?s Irish Stout from a mini fridge.

FITZ
No... Come right back Paddy. I need you here.

Paddy leaves the room.

Fitz places his gun down on the desk, sits, and snorts a massive line of cocaine. He cracks open the beer and nervously puffs on a cigar.

INT. FITZ?S HOUSE - ENTRY WAY
Paddy's stands in front of an alarm system keypad on the wall. A red light blinks "armed". He presses five digits, makes the sign of the cross, walks out and shuts the door behind him.

The light on the alarm system keypad is green, under the words ?unarmed?.

INT. FITZ'S HOUSE - ENTERTAINMENT ROOM - DAY
Beer splatters on the floor. A man?s feet are unfocused in the background.

PAN UP
Beer as it flows down.
Beer dumps out from a tipped over can on a desktop.

PAN FORWARD/OVER
Beer can.
Handgun and cocaine.
Smoke rises from a cigar.
Ash tray.

PAN UP
Stomach.
Chest and gold shamrock pendent.
Neck wrenched back.
A raw potato jammed inside a mouth.
Streaks of blood drip down around the nose.
Eyes wide open and dilated.
Bullet hole in the forehead.

PAN BACK
Mob Boss Fitz slain at his desk.

nofx · 05-02-2005, 07:20 PM

raw potato in the mouth, nice death for the irish man.

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofx

fuck mainstream hollywood bullshit, seriously. I have been seriously thinking about writing my own movie. the bad guys WILL win. the good guys will die within the first 30 minutes of the film.(ie. the good guys will not be able to disarm the nuke and the world will explode OR the good guy/hero will not be able to save his family that is kidnapped and they kill them and he has to live with that fact) children and women will die horrid deaths, screaming until they die. why does it have to be so padded and "lovely-dovey" ? this is real life, if you want to portray REAL hate, you have to REALLY show it. thats real fucking hate man, if you fuck with me or my family, im going to give you the worst possible death I can think of.

so what if it gets an R or even X rating, fuck making movies for the masses. make a movie for the people who truely understand reality and hate. but SADLY i guess if you want to make money(WHICH IT SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT) you have to appeal to the masses, sad thats how it works. I highly doubt any major film company would touch my idea(s) anyways. would have to be totally independant.

Yeah it would have to be independent. My film is independent. I have some pretty controversial scenes in the film but I wrote them in because it's what "I" would want to see in a movie and that's what's important. In films like New Jack City/Scarface they always kill off the goodguy/badguy because they think its the moral thing to do. Hollywood doesnt want to send the message to people that crime pays. In my film Crime ends up paying. The hero is a killer, gangster, bank robber and he basks in the sun at the end. Fuck hollywood. =)

Xster · 05-02-2005, 07:57 PM

OK I EDITED IT AND ADDED "THE BAG" INSTEAD OF THE WIRE. THANKS EVERYONE!

INT. DOYLE?S CAR
Doyle slides in and sets his gun on the passenger seat. He sticks a key in the ignition and looks into the rear view mirror. Suddenly sees --

MICKEY stares back at him in the reflection.

DOYLE reaches for his gun. In the blink of an eye, Mickey covers Doyle?s head with a clear garbage bag and tightens it.

Doyle struggles and tries to free himself. Mickey pulls back harder. The plastic pops in and out over Doyle?s mouth with every last breath. Mickey brings his head up against Doyle?s ear, teeth gritted.

MICKEY
(tightens grip)
Give Elvis my best.

Mickey relaxes himself slightly and waits for Doyle to die.

Doyle rams his finger into the plastic over his mouth and pokes a small hole.
He breaths in!

MICKEY
Tricky fucker.

Mickey leans over the front seat, still a tight hold of Doyle and grabs his gun. Doyle weak now, tries to grab onto Mickey. Mickey pushes Doyle's hand away like a rag doll. He sits back with the gun and lets go of the bag.

Doyle rips it off and sucks in air like he?s been underwater for the last five minutes.

MICKEY
Enjoy that breath. It's your last.

Mickey aims the gun at the back of Doyle?s head and pulls the trigger. Blood splatters everywhere on the windshield.

05-02-2005, 06:48 PM	#1
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	The better way to "whack" someone How would you rather see someone die in a Mob movie... Plastic bag over the head? or choked with a wire? In my screenplay "TOWNIES" I use the wire for one of the mob hits, but now I'm thinking the plastic bag might be more ammusing. The victim could poke a hole with his finger, where his mouth is, as he is suffocating, to breath again (that's what I would do). Then the hitman gets frustrated and shoots the victim in the back of the head? Here's what I have now with the wire. INT. DOYLE?S CAR - NIGHT Doyle slides in and sets his gun on the passenger seat. He sticks a key in the ignition and looks into the rear view mirror. Suddenly sees -- MICKEY staring back at him in the reflection. DOYLE reaches for his gun. In the blink of an eye, Mickey wraps steel wire around Doyle's neck and tightens. Doyle gags and tries to pry his fingers under the wire. Mickey brings his head up against Doyle?s ear, teeth gritted. MICKEY Give Elvis my best. The wire tears into Mickey?s latex gloves. Doyle?s eyes bulge out of his apple red face. --------------- Im meeting with mgm monday so I'm just trying to polish this bitch up before hand. thanks. Last edited by Xster; 05-02-2005 at 06:50 PM..

05-02-2005, 06:49 PM	#2
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	hit em with a fucking bat __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

05-02-2005, 06:50 PM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	You have been thinking about this for awhile hmmm? __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

05-02-2005, 06:50 PM	#4
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	yea do the bag __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

05-02-2005, 06:51 PM	#5
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	or you could always wack em with a fucking golf club thats good stuff __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

05-02-2005, 06:56 PM	#8
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	the way tony soprano whacked ralphie in the kitchen. that shit was hardcore.

05-02-2005, 06:59 PM	#10
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	crack him in the head with a toaster. __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

05-02-2005, 07:00 PM	#11
thaifan99 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: London UK Posts: 3,029	Chainsaw! Arm/leg/head........... __________________ ARE YOU A FAMILY MEMBER? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!

05-02-2005, 07:01 PM	#12
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	How about a hacksaw? haha! Heres the middle of a scene where a guy is gettin' chopped the fuck up. MICKEY (plastic over floor) What's this shit for? Where?s Seth? Trigger sips his beer and points with the neck of the bottle to the BATHROOM DOOR it?s opened a crack. Seth?s arm comes in and out of view as he saws back and forth over a pail bloody leg that dangles over the brim of a bath tub. MICKEY Who-the-fuck-is-that? Don?t even say that?s Joey Sullivan. TRIGGER Good guess... Told ya I'd take care of it bro. MICKEY FUCK.

05-02-2005, 07:05 PM	#15
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	he is getting ready to take his kids/family on an outing, he loads his loved ones, in the car first, as he is walking to get in the drivers side, KERBOOM, the car is engulfed in flames and his loved ones are now screaming in agony and burned alive. he has to spend the rest of his life(unless he kills himself) living with that memory. (OR he gets in the car turns the key in the ignition, KERBOOM car bomb explodes while his whole family is in the car with him) wired bomb under each seat goes off, or jugs full of gasoline + pipe bomb with nails and glass strapped around it for maximum effect + maximum fire. cut brake line (thats prob too played out) assassinate him from a distance, head shot __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide. Last edited by nofx; 05-02-2005 at 07:06 PM..

05-02-2005, 07:16 PM	#19
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	Irish version of.... "SLEEPS WITH THE FISHES". INT. FITZ HOUSE - ENTERTAINMENT ROOM - DAY Fitz sweats and paces back and forth behind his desk. He swigs a bottle of whiskey, and sways a handgun around. Paddy sits relaxed in front of the desk and eyes Fitz carefully. FITZ Where the fucks my reinforcements!? PADDY Probably stuck in traffic. FITZ Call em up, see what?s the hell?s the hold up. I?m a sittin? duck here. Paddy dials. Fitz continues to pace and drink. PADDY No answer... Might be a signal problem... Don?t worry ?bout it, they?ll be here. FITZ Don?t worry about it? Don?t fuckin? worry about it? My muscles?s layin? in the street right now like a piece of Swiss fuckin? cheese, and I shouldn?t worry?.. Your second in command! My advisor! Right now I need good fuckin' advice! Don't worry about it? That's fuckin' brilliant Paddy. Just brilliant. PADDY Hey, I told it wasn?t a good idea to move on Mickey?s crew. What?d you think they were gonna do? Hide? Hit the mattresses? That?d be the day. FITZ They weren?t suppose to do nothin?! They?re all suppose to be fuckin? dead right now! But no, that?s too much for Doyle. Instead of doing his fuckin? job, he was beddin? that motherfuckin' cocksuckin' bitch. PADDY This is a peaceful suburban neighborhood. Nobody?s crazy enough to come out here. FITZ Your kiddin? me right? Paddy checks the time on his watch and looks into his pack of smokes. He grabs a set of keys off the desk. FITZ ?The fuck you goin?? Paddy stands. PADDY I?m outa smokes. You need anything? Fitz sets his whiskey down and retrieves a can of Murphy?s Irish Stout from a mini fridge. FITZ No... Come right back Paddy. I need you here. Paddy leaves the room. Fitz places his gun down on the desk, sits, and snorts a massive line of cocaine. He cracks open the beer and nervously puffs on a cigar. INT. FITZ?S HOUSE - ENTRY WAY Paddy's stands in front of an alarm system keypad on the wall. A red light blinks "armed". He presses five digits, makes the sign of the cross, walks out and shuts the door behind him. The light on the alarm system keypad is green, under the words ?unarmed?. INT. FITZ'S HOUSE - ENTERTAINMENT ROOM - DAY Beer splatters on the floor. A man?s feet are unfocused in the background. PAN UP Beer as it flows down. Beer dumps out from a tipped over can on a desktop. PAN FORWARD/OVER Beer can. Handgun and cocaine. Smoke rises from a cigar. Ash tray. PAN UP Stomach. Chest and gold shamrock pendent. Neck wrenched back. A raw potato jammed inside a mouth. Streaks of blood drip down around the nose. Eyes wide open and dilated. Bullet hole in the forehead. PAN BACK Mob Boss Fitz slain at his desk.

05-02-2005, 07:20 PM	#20
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	raw potato in the mouth, nice death for the irish man. __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

05-02-2005, 07:57 PM	#22
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	OK I EDITED IT AND ADDED "THE BAG" INSTEAD OF THE WIRE. THANKS EVERYONE! INT. DOYLE?S CAR Doyle slides in and sets his gun on the passenger seat. He sticks a key in the ignition and looks into the rear view mirror. Suddenly sees -- MICKEY stares back at him in the reflection. DOYLE reaches for his gun. In the blink of an eye, Mickey covers Doyle?s head with a clear garbage bag and tightens it. Doyle struggles and tries to free himself. Mickey pulls back harder. The plastic pops in and out over Doyle?s mouth with every last breath. Mickey brings his head up against Doyle?s ear, teeth gritted. MICKEY (tightens grip) Give Elvis my best. Mickey relaxes himself slightly and waits for Doyle to die. Doyle rams his finger into the plastic over his mouth and pokes a small hole. He breaths in! MICKEY Tricky fucker. Mickey leans over the front seat, still a tight hold of Doyle and grabs his gun. Doyle weak now, tries to grab onto Mickey. Mickey pushes Doyle's hand away like a rag doll. He sits back with the gun and lets go of the bag. Doyle rips it off and sucks in air like he?s been underwater for the last five minutes. MICKEY Enjoy that breath. It's your last. Mickey aims the gun at the back of Doyle?s head and pulls the trigger. Blood splatters everywhere on the windshield. Last edited by Xster; 05-02-2005 at 07:58 PM..