AaronM

How do you know when somebody is suicidal and not just regular depression?

baddog

you find them hanging from the bedroom door

SuckOnThis

You don't. If somebody is serious about suicide they are not going to say a word about it to anyone. The ones that talk about it are crying for help and they dont really want to do it.

jonesy

yup. . . .

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JFPdude

If they are claiming they are going to kill themself they are usually not suicidal instead they are searching for help.

If you walk in and find them dead from self infliction of some kind then you know they were suicidal. Unfortunately if they really are suicidal it's not known till after the fact.

If you are worried someone is suicidal the best thing to do is call the local mental health crisis center and let professionals decide if they are or not.

JFPdude

I guess I typed to slow same answers from everyone LOL

JJ Gold

Depression is a fatal illness.

Mutt

that's true with alot of suicides but i think mental health professionals will tell you that you have to take any depressed person's words at face value when they say things like 'i should just kill myself', 'i'd be better off dead' etc

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smack

you really dont. it's always the ones you don't expect that commit suicide. at least, that has always been the case with my friends.

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Stacey_JoinRightNow

7 Signs Someone May Be Suicidal

1. Talking about suicide or death.- Do not take statements about wanting to die or "ending it all" lightly. Seek help immediately. Even if they are not seriously considering suicide, statements like these indicate that a person is in need of help and is reaching out.

2. Withdrawing from friends and family. - Loss of interest in friends and family can be a sign of depression or suicidal thought. A person contemplating suicide may withdraw to spend more and more time alone. They may become despondent or angry when loved ones try to intervene.

3. Sudden behavioral changes. - A sudden and marked change in behavior may indicate that a person is suffering from depression, mental illness or suicidal thought. This can include a change in attitude, thinking, appearance or interpersonal relationships. In some cases the changes can be gradual as well.

4. Wanting to "tie up loose ends" or give away belongings. - This can include calling old friends and relatives to say goodbye. Giving away personal belongings or pets to others or wanting to secure care for children is a serious warning sign that a person may be considering suicide very soon.

5. Reckless behavior. - Engaging in behavior such as heavy alcohol and drug use, driving recklessly, starting fights or taking excessive risks.

6. Withdrawing from regular activities. - Suddenly quitting or loosing interest in regular and extracurricular activities such as school, work, sports teams, clubs, church, volunteer duties, or hobbies.

7. Sudden change in sleeping patterns or eating habits. - Watch for sudden weight fluctuations or a marked increase or decrease in the amount of sleep a person is getting.

If you or someone you love is thinking of committing suicide please seek immediate professional help. There are many caring professionals and trained peers that are available to listen and talk about feelings of loneliness, depression or suicide

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SilverTab

exactly...

my best friend committed suicide about 6 months ago....I never saw it coming...he never talked about it....

he had some psychological problems, which we were aware of, but he stopped taking his pills....nobody knew it...untill we heard the terrible news. it hit me like a ton of brick...that phonecall was the worse moment of my life, I can still remember it like it was yesterday... I so wished I saw it coming and could help him in anyway...

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JJ Gold

Great info everybody.
I have lost too many friends over the years.
Also, suicide doesn't just happen overnight.
Self-Destructive activity should be taken just as seriously.
Best wishes to you and your friend.

mrthumbs

when they do over 100 posts a day @ gfy you know something is going on..

SilverTab

True...
worse thing is....

the very day my friend comitted suicide, he came to visit me to gave me back all the books he had borrowed from me...(he had them for more than a year...). He spent some time to talk with me, he almost seemed relieved and calm...we smoked a blunt, and then left to visit his cousin who lived 30 seconds from me....he was the last person to see him alive..

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mrthumbs

on a serious note:

People that vent a certain death wish "i want to kill myself etc" are not at the
stage of actually doing it. BUT having told intimates about it
without the actual intent doing so usually is another 'failure' and since there is no other step than actually DOING IT (see sig) after those statements : people that claim to be better of dead should be taken _very_ seriously.

SuckOnThis

So how many of you have thought about it?

mrthumbs

Another serious note:

You can only feel sorry for the people that killed themselves for the pain theyve gone through weeks/months/years _previous_ to their act.

Everybody seems to stress "i wish i knew in advance so i could stop him.." etc
that's bs. He/she made a good choice and put and end to his/her suffering themost efficient way. Remember: there is no heaven and hell.. its just nothing.. no room for more pain, regret and could have beens. just nothing.

The only pain is with those who are left behind. Well that pain is nothing compared
to the pain that person must have gone through driving him to that act.

If someone is that much damaged that he is REALLY capable of taking his own life theres no way back. Even if you could stop him.

Suicide is in 80% of the cases the best solution for the person doing it.
And even if it isnt/wasnt: it doesnt matter to that person anymore. Thats what
death is all about.

SilverTab

I honestly NEVER thought about killing myself seriously...sure the thought probably crosses everyone's mind when things aren't going too good...but I never came remotely close to actually do it...I love life. I could never do something like that....
Some people think you have to be a coward to commit suicide, but I think it also takes a lot of courage...
When you think about it, you're not only giving up on life, you're giving up on everything and every one you love, and that's not an easy thing to do...

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JFPdude

Succeeded to the point of last rites in the emergency room one time. Hated the people who helped me then. Now am glad they did.

AaronM

Interesting insight.

SilverTab

might be true in most cases, but my friend was actually on a road to recovery while taking his medicine....

He was on Anti-Psychotics (NOT antidepressors) because of a weird mental illness (he was having hallucinations and inventing weird stories that never actually happened etc...Caused by lack of sleep and other problems...) and while he was on the pills, he was quite normal and far from being suicidal. When he stopped taking his pills he suffered a severe relapsed and killed himself while being in the middle of a crisis that could've been avoided...(he stabbed himself 3 times in a gut with a short sword, in the middle of a forest, so you know he wasn't really aware of what he was doing). Apparently he was trying to escape from the "police" who were chasing him...(nothing of that was actually true)
Really fucked up story that even i would have a hard time believing if it didn't happen to my best friend... ;(

Best advice I could give anyone though...Don't wait...Act before it's too late...It sure is easy to say to someone else that he "shouldn't have regrets"...and..."it's not your fault, you couldn't have helped him" etc . etc...I heard it all...but trust me, you can't avoid it when it happens to someone close to you... I felt like shit for a good 2 months only for not being able to help...it still hurts just to think about it...

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SuckOnThis

I think it really depends on the persons situation. In cases where its a permanent solution to a temporary problem I think its the most selfish act one can do. In other cases where the decision is made because of failing health issues then I personally see nothing wrong with it and if that person makes that decision then the people around them should support it.

SilverTab

I completely agree!..but those are 2 really different cases....assisted suicide/euthanasia is another story....

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JJ Gold

Thank you.
I am fowarding your post to many of my friends.
I am grateful for your insight.

BlueWire

I speak from experience as my mom unfortunately went down that road. We were absolutely blind sided. The night before she had been talking about how exciting the yakees-redsox games were and how she was excited for different things she had signed up for (mostly volunteer work). For a couple months after her death we recieved phone calls and mail in response to tons of volunteer projects she had inquired about doing or signed up for. She had a trip to hawaii with my father coming up in about 5 weeks. Lots of good stuff to look forward to....

So from my experience i'd say that there are not always signs. We knew she dealt with depression just like half of americans. She took meds and things were fine in that respect for about the past 15 years. Looking back there is not at all that feeling of "oh, i should have known"....Just a greater appreciation for how fragile life is and how important it is to live each day to its fullest.


Okay, thats my sappy thought for the day...back to calling people dipshits and posting pics of *******

BlueWire

Thats about the absolute dumbest things i've ever heard

Sassy Girl

Tell that to my aunt that told everyone she was going to kill herself and then proceeded to go into the bedroom and blow her brains out.

SuckOnThis

I havent mastered communicating with the dead but when I do I'll try to remember to tell her.

mrthumbs

[QUOTE=SilverTab]might be true in most cases, but my friend was actually on a road to recovery while taking his medicine....
[QUOTE]

I know your frustration but its really important to understand for yourself
that all the 'could have beens' and good experiences he may have undergone if he didnt do this selfish act exists only in the imagination of the people he left behind: you for example.

The recovery you are talking about is getting him back to the point where he sees a future and is confident in things well..a situation where he can simple live without the urge putting an end to it.. thats only 60% peace of mind.. now he is at 100%.

Even if he didnt do it.. and a year later he would have a great life.. succes
and surround by happines crying "how could i have ever thought about THAT.. life is so good now!" thats simply not relevant anymore.. only for you and the other people that loved him.

Suicide is one of the most complex issues for a person to understand (any person.. even for him till the very last second) but the key is to accept for yourself that once its 'done' it all doesnt matter. nothing.

The ironic part of that is that if you are able to accept and see things that way it also reflect on your own life: just something thats there until you switch if off. And thats a mindset that goes against all natural instincts
because that basicly means living life has no sense.
As in: being able to accept the death of someone that killed himself automatically puts your own life in another, darker, perspective.

But not accepting it will keep you with this strange feeling of misplaced 'guilt' for the rest of your life.

If you have the strength to keep yourself from god and religion life is what you make of it. And if you dont like it anymore or there is no chance for progression (in your opinion!) then simply turn it off.

SilverTab

I know what you mean...My friend actually got his car fixed the day before he killed himself!...

BUT...there are many different cases....people constantly saying they will kill themselves might never do it, some might do it...some you will never see it comming, others, it will happen and you will just think: I knew it was coming... There's no general rules when it comes to suicide!....All i'm saying is...if you THINK someone might actually do it, DO SOMETHING...it might spare you some regrets later....

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SilverTab

Good post....and I agree with most of it!
But trust me....regrets are HARD to avoid... although you HAVE to get over it...but when it just happened...you can't help but feel guilty...
I was aware of it and tought the whole "feeling guilty" part you hear in movies etc was just BS untill I witnessed it first hand....but it IS true that you have to get over it and accept the fact that what's done is done, and "what ifs" are useless...

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mrthumbs

I would have said the same years ago.

And im very aware that the things im saying are 'controversial' (not stupid)
but thats just the way ive learned to experience things.

BlueWire

I'm not sure about your experience or whatever. But having experienced it first hand with my mother within the past year...It downright pisses me off to hear such absolute bullshit come out of your mouth.

People are in pain so they commit suicide..this is true. But call me an optimist...but quitting on yourself, your friends, and your family is never a good thing. Things can ALWAYS get better and to go as far as to give a statistic that you made up (80% are better off killing themselves) is just miseducated and not thought out.

Suicide is a selfish act....period. I have all the sympathy in the world for fighters. I lack sympathy for quitters

mrthumbs

Like i mentioned in both posts i can completely understand things from the perspective of the people left behind. their anger, guilt, frustration etc.
Yes it is selfish and yes you have all the right to be angry at a person who did that.

But my posts are initially about the person killing himself and in his or her world
there is no selfishness, guilt, frustration, 'things can get better or worse' etc so theres no need to feel sorry for them or speculate about their future.

Anger and blame from your -own- perspective.. yes.

BlueWire

Actually...I'm not mad at my mother. I think it was selfish...But i think it was selfish when my girlfriend took the last junior mint out of my box of candy at the movies tonight as well...Am i mad at her for taking the mint? No.

Point being...you REALLY come off as someone who hasn't had it happen close to them. I am not coming from the perspective as a pissed off person who feels left behind. I'm coming from the perspective of knowing that person had a solid 30-40 years left in them and lots of good they could have done....lots of life experiences that are beautiful that they could have experienced.

I come from the walk of life that 50 years of dealing with pure shit would be worth it for just ONE perfect day. Life is beautiful, EVEN if you're swimming through pure shit to find the beauty.

mrthumbs

And people able to commit suicide are not quitters.. theyve done a thing that requires more courage than the toughest fight. I think your mother was quite aware that with taking her own life she would also take a part of your life and htat of others. You hold her 'accountable' for that so i assume she was in that position. You think thats a choice someone would make that thinks
"ahh oh well.. lets just end it..".? No. Its a choice you should respect no matter what. Blame and anger. yes.. but at least respect the choice.

BlueWire

Read my most recent post before making a bigger fool of yourself. You've pinned me for the wrong type of person...

Frusteration over a person not living up to their full potential is a totally different frusteration than what you're talking about.

And btw...suicide IS a choice. People in the american society are so busy finding other places to blame. Just like with everything else, suicide included, people need to look at themselves (although perhaps impossible if they are gone obviously, but you get the point).

I guess i just actually take responsibility for myself and my actions...hmmm...what theory...imagine that?

SuckOnThis

True, but I don't think you can ever begin to understand the mindset, lack of hope, and darkness of the person that takes that road. Until you can fully understand it you will feel the way you do now, which is completely normal. I am sorry about your mother.

BlueWire

mrthumbs -

Do us all a favor and take your Psych 101 class elsewhere. Not everything they say in your text book correlates correctly to reality

BlueWire

I agree that its tough for us all to relate to what is going through someone's mind. That doesnt justify it in my mind.

Like i was saying, i support fighters...quitters i have a short leash for.


Take addition for instance. Yes, its a disease...but some people say, I'm helpless...i cant do anything about it...and just keep getting high or drunk...

...others take steps to do something about it.


In suicide...depression is a TOUGH endevor....Some fight it and lose...some fight it and never give up.

mrthumbs

Its not even textbook psych: just my opinion. and as everybody knows around here im an idiot. So dont take it personal.

i wish you the best, sincerely and hope i didnt offend you as it wasnt meant personal.

eroswebmaster

Yep..I dealt with my mother on this issue a 1,000 x's.
The only time she never said anything was when she actually did it.

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eroswebmaster

Exactly. Not a day goes by when we don't think about how my mother would have enjoyed herself. I even invited her to come out and live with me in Vegas..she loved Vegas.
She would have seen her grandaughter graduate high school..go to prom...etc..etc.
Not now.

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SuckOnThis

Didnt your mother have some health issues?

BlueWire

You hit the nail on the head. I dont know about how most people deal with it. But if you base your views off of made for TV lifetime movies you'd think everyone who's parent kills themselves hates that parent for the rest of their life.

Thats not the case atleast in our case it seems. Nothing more than sad and frusterating about how there were so many good things to look forward to.

Its funny, your parents spend your whole childhood being frusterated about you not reaching potential or whatever...then you grow up, become an adult, meet your expectations...and they pull a role reversal on you. crazy shit

eroswebmaster

That's the great thing about suicide they leave so many questions unanswered.
Yes and no.
Enough to kill herself..I honestly don't know.
There's been rumors in teh family that she found out she had cancer..but because she never called us or left a note explaining we just don't know.

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SuckOnThis

Wow, thats rough. I have cancer and truth be told I have thought about it many, many times. The one thing that has stopped me is exactly what you guys are feeling. I don't want to ruin my kids life due to my selfishness by taking the easy way out, I don't think he would ever understand. But I do understand why some people would make that choice, maybe your mother felt she was doing you a favor by not eventually being a burden. You'll never know and that must be hell.

eroswebmaster

Hey man sorry to hear that. I do remember you discussing this one night and I wish you the best of health.

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Rui

totaly wrong, just because it common doesn't mean its the norm, far from it.

Its hard to "spot" somebody with a serious depression unless you also suffer from it, then its freaking easy

Rui

....was going to say something but rather not