finished design for teenpeaches.com (need some feedback) - GoFuckYourself.com

oberheimer · 04-04-2005, 04:11 PM

finished design for teenpeaches.com (need some feedback)
I saved the site as a .jpg (i need some feedback before i slice it up)
Im going to do a tour page tomorrow

TeenPeaches

What should i change and what is good

iwantchixx · 04-04-2005, 05:42 PM

well... hmm. Ok. Take this all as constructive criticism.

Try using actual peach colors in your design. Get rid of the peach tree background or recolor it so it matches a peach color scheme. Even run a cartooning effect on it. You want your design to POP for a site with girls like this. make that part smaller too, it's too tall and wasting valuable design space.

Just throwing a bunch of cut outs in the middle of the page is not going to cut it. Come up with a design scheme. Use background gradients to fill it out. use blending and blurs between each girl, even overlap them some. Try to keep them all in one row and not all over the place with big dead spots everywhere.

All poses should be where the girl is looking at the surfer. The white top girl and the fingering girl aren't even looking at anyone and look bored. You're doing the right thing with the ass shots though. Always good to have the girl looking back at the surfer like that in a "come get it big boy" look.

The instant access area looks good.

Overall the whole design needs to be tighter and more closely knit. Too much dead space with just random cut out girls thrown in there like it's a 1996 era AVS.

AdultX · 04-04-2005, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iwantchixx

well... hmm. Ok. Take this all as constructive criticism.

Try using actual peach colors in your design. Get rid of the peach tree background or recolor it so it matches a peach color scheme. Even run a cartooning effect on it. You want your design to POP for a site with girls like this. make that part smaller too, it's too tall and wasting valuable design space.

Just throwing a bunch of cut outs in the middle of the page is not going to cut it. Come up with a design scheme. Use background gradients to fill it out. use blending and blurs between each girl, even overlap them some. Try to keep them all in one row and not all over the place with big dead spots everywhere.

All poses should be where the girl is looking at the surfer. The white top girl and the fingering girl aren't even looking at anyone and look bored. You're doing the right thing with the ass shots though. Always good to have the girl looking back at the surfer like that in a "come get it big boy" look.

The instant access area looks good.

Overall the whole design needs to be tighter and more closely knit. Too much dead space with just random cut out girls thrown in there like it's a 1996 era AVS.

I was going to offer some advice, but you pretty much said it all!!

BadBrad · 04-04-2005, 08:16 PM

Here is a decent example with some peaches.

http://www.twistedbydesigns.com/tightx/

Even tho it is a TGP you get the idea.

Follow what iwantchixx has to offer. It will clean up real nicely.

iwantchixx · 04-04-2005, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BadBrad

Here is a decent example with some peaches.

http://www.twistedbydesigns.com/tightx/

Even tho it is a TGP you get the idea.

Follow what iwantchixx has to offer. It will clean up real nicely.

that TGP would really "pop" with a #F3E5CC background.

oberheimer · 04-05-2005, 12:36 AM

Ok thanks alot i will see what i can do. This is my first AVS design

ozmatt · 04-05-2005, 12:44 AM

iwantchix pretty much covered it... i would make the design smaller, there is no need for the large graphic of the peach to take up 1/3 of the designs background. Find maybe 2 MAIN FEATURE GIRLS to use that really stand out, and then use smaller pics to fill in some background.

Make your text stand out.. dont use dark text on a dark background.. increase the size.

would point out more.. but got to head out... best of luck

matt

quantum-x · 04-05-2005, 12:52 AM

-> Point to consider RE: the copy.
"1000s of DVDs" stopped selling years ago.
"Horny teens that fuck and suck" - again, bland.

Why not something with spice?
"Fresh teen peaches plucked from college, ready for you to sample their juices.."
"Young babes so tender their pussies are covered in delicate peach fuzz.."

I dunno, but get some orginality in there

oberheimer · 04-06-2005, 05:23 AM

I need to fix the size of the pics. It's allways a problem with the size it does'nt matter if it's your cock or your pics
Im going to change som text aswell thanks quantum-x

rowan · 04-06-2005, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quantum-x

-> Point to consider RE: the copy.
[...]
"Young babes so tender their pussies are covered in delicate peach fuzz.."

That one scares me a little, the only pussies that are going to have peach fuzz will belong to adults who have done 6 months worth of hair removal cream/laser surgery, or pre-pubescent girls.

I always wondered whether peaches referred to peach fuzz, or the shape resembling an ass. (Maybe both?)

04-04-2005, 04:11 PM	#1
oberheimer So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: sweden Posts: 791	finished design for teenpeaches.com (need some feedback) finished design for teenpeaches.com (need some feedback) I saved the site as a .jpg (i need some feedback before i slice it up) Im going to do a tour page tomorrow TeenPeaches What should i change and what is good

04-04-2005, 08:16 PM	#4
BadBrad Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 618	Here is a decent example with some peaches. http://www.twistedbydesigns.com/tightx/ Even tho it is a TGP you get the idea. Follow what iwantchixx has to offer. It will clean up real nicely. __________________ Your sig chose me!

04-05-2005, 12:44 AM	#7
ozmatt Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: brisvegas, australia Posts: 1,843	iwantchix pretty much covered it... i would make the design smaller, there is no need for the large graphic of the peach to take up 1/3 of the designs background. Find maybe 2 MAIN FEATURE GIRLS to use that really stand out, and then use smaller pics to fill in some background. Make your text stand out.. dont use dark text on a dark background.. increase the size. would point out more.. but got to head out... best of luck matt __________________ NEW NEW Pimpin Pays Version 2 NEW NEW *** * * AIM - pwize69 - ICQ - 4664 7757 - EMAIL** - matt at pimpinpays dot com * PIMPIN DESIGN - $699 PAYSITES * HIT ME UP NOW - PIMPINPAYS.COM

04-05-2005, 12:52 AM	#8
quantum-x Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ICQ: 251425 Fr/Au/Ca Posts: 6,863	-> Point to consider RE: the copy. "1000s of DVDs" stopped selling years ago. "Horny teens that fuck and suck" - again, bland. Why not something with spice? "Fresh teen peaches plucked from college, ready for you to sample their juices.." "Young babes so tender their pussies are covered in delicate peach fuzz.." I dunno, but get some orginality in there __________________ PrettyInCash.com - BoozedGFs.com - TeenGFs.com - JizzGFs.com- MilfUploads.com -

04-04-2005, 05:42 PM	#2
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	well... hmm. Ok. Take this all as constructive criticism. Try using actual peach colors in your design. Get rid of the peach tree background or recolor it so it matches a peach color scheme. Even run a cartooning effect on it. You want your design to POP for a site with girls like this. make that part smaller too, it's too tall and wasting valuable design space. Just throwing a bunch of cut outs in the middle of the page is not going to cut it. Come up with a design scheme. Use background gradients to fill it out. use blending and blurs between each girl, even overlap them some. Try to keep them all in one row and not all over the place with big dead spots everywhere. All poses should be where the girl is looking at the surfer. The white top girl and the fingering girl aren't even looking at anyone and look bored. You're doing the right thing with the ass shots though. Always good to have the girl looking back at the surfer like that in a "come get it big boy" look. The instant access area looks good. Overall the whole design needs to be tighter and more closely knit. Too much dead space with just random cut out girls thrown in there like it's a 1996 era AVS.

04-05-2005, 12:36 AM	#6
oberheimer So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: sweden Posts: 791	Ok thanks alot i will see what i can do. This is my first AVS design

04-06-2005, 05:23 AM	#9
oberheimer So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: sweden Posts: 791	I need to fix the size of the pics. It's allways a problem with the size it does'nt matter if it's your cock or your pics Im going to change som text aswell thanks quantum-x