Finally I get a spam that makes sense - GoFuckYourself.com

Lensman · 12-29-2001, 10:24 AM

Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! s_26

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!

At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!

************************************************** *********************

LIMITED TIME OFFER: ORDER TODAY!
SEND Only $29.95 US
(CREDIT CARD, CASH, CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER)
SHIPPING IS FREE!!! For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

To place your order merely fill out the following form and fax to 1-775-252-4949.
If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537.
or mail to:

Internet Information Services
PO Box 1541
Billings, MT 59103-0084

(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.

*************************

Credit Card Order Form
(Please print very clearly in dark ink)

Name on Credit Card:

Address:

City/State/ZIP:

Your email address:

Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate.
For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

Type of Card, circle one (Visa, MasterCard, American Express)

Credit Card Number:
Sorry, we do not accept discover.

Date Credit Card Expires:

Please tell us your phone Number:

Please tell us your fax Number:

To order by Check or Money Order:

MAKE YOUR CHECK PAYABLE TO:
Internet Information Services

(Please Print Clearly Your Name and Address)

Name:

Address:

City/State/ZIP:

E-mail Address:

Please tell us your phone Number:

Please tell us your fax Number:

(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.

Thank you for your business,

Internet Information Services
PO Box 1541
Billings, MT 59103-0084

Fax to 1-775-252-4949. If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537.

Copyright (c) 1997-2000
All Rights Reserved

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++
This ad is pro duced and sent out by:
Unive rsal Adve rtising Syste ms
To be remo ved from our mail ing list please email us at
[email protected] with remo ve in the subject line or
call us toll free at 1-88 8-605-2485 and give us your email address or write us at:
Centr al D B Removal, PO Box 12 00, Oran jest ad, Aru ba
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++

ElvisManson · 12-29-2001, 10:25 AM

Hasn't RedShoe already done this?

The Truth · 12-29-2001, 10:26 AM

Post a pic when you get the certificate

------------------
Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

Squishy · 12-29-2001, 10:27 AM

www.subgenius.com It's a little more expensive, but well worth it...you can be a bishop.

corvette · 12-29-2001, 10:31 AM

Just for the forgiveness of sins, im willing to pay $29.95 recurring...

AaronM · 12-29-2001, 11:26 AM

SUCKERS!!!

Go get it for free
http://ulc.org/

Forget about 48 hours. This can be done in just 3 minutes.

[This message has been edited by AaronM (edited 12-29-2001).]

The Truth · 12-29-2001, 11:49 AM

Thanks Aaron.... I got mine ...

I'll be starting up the church of Porn... who wants to be an alter boy..???

------------------
Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

Trax · 12-29-2001, 11:59 AM

ijoin

AaronM · 12-29-2001, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Truth:
Thanks Aaron.... I got mine ...
I'll be starting up the church of Porn... who wants to be an alter boy..???

No problem my brother.

Scootermuze · 12-29-2001, 12:18 PM

Hmmm.. No Ginsu knives for prompt ordering?

MrBrian · 12-29-2001, 12:31 PM

where can you get fake diplomas online? i want to get one saying i have a PhD from oxford or mit

AaronM · 12-29-2001, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBrian:
where can you get fake diplomas online? i want to get one saying i have a PhD from oxford or mit

Not sure. I have both of those those for real. I can scan them ad photoshop your name in if you like.

Kimmykim · 12-29-2001, 02:15 PM

"WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!"
------------

I take it these are being held mainly in the South?

titmowse · 12-29-2001, 03:33 PM

Feh...like brother Squishy said, for a mere $29.95 you can be ordained as a reverend of the Church of SubGenius, PLUS you get ETERNAL SALVATION or your money back!

Praise Bob

------------------

love,
tit

learn search find

-=HUNGRYMAN=- · 12-29-2001, 11:00 PM

Hahahaha

<bgsound src=http://66.40.16.209/god.wav>

------------------

America's New War - <s>Osama </s><font color="red"> PORNSUITE</font> you are sooooo fucked now !!
The Black Sheep of the Boneprone Family
I like to rub HERTURN on my nipples

[This message has been edited by -=HUNGRYMAN=- (edited 12-29-2001).]

12-29-2001, 10:24 AM	#1
Lensman GFY Chaperone Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Adult.com Posts: 9,846	Finally I get a spam that makes sense Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! s_26 BE ORDAINED NOW! As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!! WEDDINGS MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!! Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony. FUNERALS A very hard time for you and your family Don't settle for a minister you don't know!! Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony. BAPTISMS You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!" What a special way to welcome a child of God. FORGIVENESS OF SINS The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!! VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!! Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH?? After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!! At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it. Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95. For only $29.95 you will receive: 1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL. (CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS) 2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!! 3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!! ********************************************** ******************* LIMITED TIME OFFER: ORDER TODAY! SEND Only $29.95 US (CREDIT CARD, CASH, CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER) SHIPPING IS FREE!!! For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00. To place your order merely fill out the following form and fax to 1-775-252-4949. If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537. or mail to: Internet Information Services PO Box 1541 Billings, MT 59103-0084 (ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM) Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail. If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order. ************************ Credit Card Order Form (Please print very clearly in dark ink) Name on Credit Card: Address: City/State/ZIP: Your email address: Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate. For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00. Type of Card, circle one (Visa, MasterCard, American Express) Credit Card Number: Sorry, we do not accept discover. Date Credit Card Expires: Please tell us your phone Number: Please tell us your fax Number: To order by Check or Money Order: MAKE YOUR CHECK PAYABLE TO: Internet Information Services (Please Print Clearly Your Name and Address) Name: Address: City/State/ZIP: E-mail Address: Please tell us your phone Number: Please tell us your fax Number: (ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM) *Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail. If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order. Thank you for your business, Internet Information Services PO Box 1541 Billings, MT 59103-0084 Fax to 1-775-252-4949. If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537. Copyright (c) 1997-2000 All Rights Reserved ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++ This ad is pro duced and sent out by: Unive rsal Adve rtising Syste ms To be remo ved from our mail ing list please email us at [email protected] with remo ve in the subject line or call us toll free at 1-88 8-605-2485 and give us your email address or write us at: Centr al D B Removal, PO Box 12 00, Oran jest ad, Aru ba ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++

12-29-2001, 10:25 AM	#2
ElvisManson Looking California Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 5,476	Hasn't RedShoe already done this?

12-29-2001, 10:26 AM	#3
The Truth Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: U.S.of A. Posts: 920	Post a pic when you get the certificate ------------------ Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

12-29-2001, 10:27 AM	#4
Squishy Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Hiding from you. Posts: 1,809	www.subgenius.com It's a little more expensive, but well worth it...you can be a bishop.

12-29-2001, 10:31 AM	#5
corvette Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: scottsdale Posts: 7,880	Just for the forgiveness of sins, im willing to pay $29.95 recurring...

12-29-2001, 11:26 AM	#6
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	SUCKERS!!! Go get it for free http://ulc.org/ Forget about 48 hours. This can be done in just 3 minutes. [This message has been edited by AaronM (edited 12-29-2001).]

12-29-2001, 11:49 AM	#7
The Truth Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: U.S.of A. Posts: 920	Thanks Aaron.... I got mine ... I'll be starting up the church of Porn... who wants to be an alter boy..??? ------------------ Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

12-29-2001, 11:59 AM	#8
Trax [----------------------] Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14,486	ijoin

12-29-2001, 12:18 PM	#10
Scootermuze Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 4,513	Hmmm.. No Ginsu knives for prompt ordering?

12-29-2001, 12:31 PM	#11
MrBrian Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 1,215	where can you get fake diplomas online? i want to get one saying i have a PhD from oxford or mit

12-29-2001, 02:15 PM	#13
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	"WEDDINGS MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!" ------------ I take it these are being held mainly in the South?

12-29-2001, 03:33 PM	#14
titmowse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: TEXAS Posts: 5,320	Feh...like brother Squishy said, for a mere $29.95 you can be ordained as a reverend of the Church of SubGenius, PLUS you get ETERNAL SALVATION or your money back! Praise Bob ------------------ love, tit learn search find

12-29-2001, 11:00 PM	#15
-=HUNGRYMAN=- Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Between your mamma's legs Posts: 4,753	Hahahaha <bgsound src=http://66.40.16.209/god.wav> ------------------ America's New War - <s>Osama </s><font color="red"> PORNSUITE</font> you are sooooo fucked now !! The Black Sheep of the Boneprone Family I like to rub HERTURN on my nipples [This message has been edited by -=HUNGRYMAN=- (edited 12-29-2001).]