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-   -   Finally I get a spam that makes sense (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=45020)

Lensman 12-29-2001 10:24 AM

Finally I get a spam that makes sense
 
Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! s_26

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!


At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!


************************************************** *********************

LIMITED TIME OFFER: ORDER TODAY!
SEND Only $29.95 US
(CREDIT CARD, CASH, CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER)
SHIPPING IS FREE!!! For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

To place your order merely fill out the following form and fax to 1-775-252-4949.
If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537.
or mail to:

Internet Information Services
PO Box 1541
Billings, MT 59103-0084


(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.

*************************

Credit Card Order Form
(Please print very clearly in dark ink)

Name on Credit Card:

Address:

City/State/ZIP:

Your email address:

Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate.
For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

Type of Card, circle one (Visa, MasterCard, American Express)

Credit Card Number:
Sorry, we do not accept discover.

Date Credit Card Expires:

Please tell us your phone Number:

Please tell us your fax Number:


To order by Check or Money Order:

MAKE YOUR CHECK PAYABLE TO:
Internet Information Services

(Please Print Clearly Your Name and Address)

Name:

Address:

City/State/ZIP:

E-mail Address:

Please tell us your phone Number:

Please tell us your fax Number:

(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.



Thank you for your business,


Internet Information Services
PO Box 1541
Billings, MT 59103-0084

Fax to 1-775-252-4949. If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-243-9537.


Copyright (c) 1997-2000
All Rights Reserved

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++
This ad is pro duced and sent out by:
Unive rsal Adve rtising Syste ms
To be remo ved from our mail ing list please email us at
[email protected] with remo ve in the subject line or
call us toll free at 1-88 8-605-2485 and give us your email address or write us at:
Centr al D B Removal, PO Box 12 00, Oran jest ad, Aru ba
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++


ElvisManson 12-29-2001 10:25 AM

Hasn't RedShoe already done this? http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif


The Truth 12-29-2001 10:26 AM

Post a pic when you get the certificate http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif

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Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

Squishy 12-29-2001 10:27 AM

www.subgenius.com It's a little more expensive, but well worth it...you can be a bishop.

corvette 12-29-2001 10:31 AM

Just for the forgiveness of sins, im willing to pay $29.95 recurring...


AaronM 12-29-2001 11:26 AM

SUCKERS!!!

Go get it for free
http://ulc.org/

Forget about 48 hours. This can be done in just 3 minutes.

[This message has been edited by AaronM (edited 12-29-2001).]

The Truth 12-29-2001 11:49 AM

Thanks Aaron.... I got mine ...


http://www.thefuckhole.com/truth/reverendtruth.jpg

I'll be starting up the church of Porn... who wants to be an alter boy..???

http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif

------------------
Make $$$ the Diabolical Way

Trax 12-29-2001 11:59 AM

http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif
ijoin

AaronM 12-29-2001 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Truth:
Thanks Aaron.... I got mine ...
I'll be starting up the church of Porn... who wants to be an alter boy..???

http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif


No problem my brother.

Scootermuze 12-29-2001 12:18 PM

Hmmm.. No Ginsu knives for prompt ordering?

MrBrian 12-29-2001 12:31 PM

where can you get fake diplomas online? i want to get one saying i have a PhD from oxford or mit http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif

AaronM 12-29-2001 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBrian:
where can you get fake diplomas online? i want to get one saying i have a PhD from oxford or mit http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/smile.gif
Not sure. I have both of those those for real. I can scan them ad photoshop your name in if you like.

Kimmykim 12-29-2001 02:15 PM

"WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!"
------------

I take it these are being held mainly in the South? http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/wink.gif

titmowse 12-29-2001 03:33 PM

Feh...like brother Squishy said, for a mere $29.95 you can be ordained as a reverend of the Church of SubGenius, PLUS you get ETERNAL SALVATION or your money back!

Praise Bob


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http://www.screaminet.com/~incognit/frog.gif love,
tit

learn search find

-=HUNGRYMAN=- 12-29-2001 11:00 PM

Hahahaha

<bgsound src=http://66.40.16.209/god.wav>

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http://www.sexwatcher.com/plane.gif
America's New War - <s>Osama </s><font color="red"> PORNSUITE</font> you are sooooo fucked now !!
The Black Sheep of the Boneprone Family
I like to rub HERTURN on my nipples

[This message has been edited by -=HUNGRYMAN=- (edited 12-29-2001).]


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