Funny Joke .. post one if you got one - GoFuckYourself.com

Eddie2100 · 03-13-2005, 10:21 PM

a plane was in flight when the captains voice was heard over the loud speaker saying" we taken on to much weight and we will have to let go some of the luggage out of the back of the plane, over"

a few moments go by and a few passengers i heard saying that they see their bags flying'''

Five mins go bye when the voice is heard on the loudspeaker again "awww folks I regret to till you that we still have a weight problem and now we are gonna have to ... let some of the passengers go."

you hear gasp and screams and cry's in the crowd.. then the voice comes back... " to be fair about this folks we are gonna start alphabeticliay ... would all the Afro-American please stand in the back on the plane"

no one moves

"OK would then all the Black People please go the back of the plane"

again no one moves

"fine then would all the Colored people go to the back of the plane"

Nothing!

then a little girl says to her mother" Momma i dought u say we wuz Colored .."

No honey "the mom says ." Today we are hahahahahahas And we go after the Fucking Mexican...

chodadog · 03-13-2005, 10:32 PM

Hahaha, nice one.

Wendy's Assistant Manager · 03-13-2005, 10:34 PM

You suck at life.

Eddie2100 · 03-13-2005, 10:48 PM

why becuase i'm bringing a little laughter in your sad sad life

Lee · 03-14-2005, 03:26 AM

Weird, I know the joke the other way round were the pilots asks all ethnic people to go to the back, when no-one does he says its gonna be alphabetical... So would all Asians, blacks, coons and darkies go to the back of the plane.

AaronM · 03-14-2005, 03:27 AM

Sobe is the best content provider in the world.

sarad · 03-14-2005, 04:04 AM

Not sure if this is an old one, I heard it the other day for the first time!

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, "Well, you can have it, but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why, yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

Sara

fris · 03-14-2005, 05:04 AM

q; what sexual position produces the ugliest babies?

a: ask your mom

sonofsam · 03-14-2005, 05:07 AM

that poker joke is good

Eddie2100 · 03-14-2005, 05:40 AM

i agree i like that poker joke

who · 03-14-2005, 05:45 AM

Good poker joker

adonthenet · 03-14-2005, 05:46 AM

good one

Chio The Pirate · 03-14-2005, 06:08 AM

YARGH!

Pirate mode dis-engaged

A man walks into a bar, and sits down for a drink.
While looking around he notices a man at the end of the bar with a very small head (the size of an orange). A little shocked at how someone's head could be so small, he gets up some courage to go and ask him about it.

Excuse me, I couldn't help notice your head is very small.

The guy laughs it off, and proceeds to tell the man what happened.

When I was a young sailor I was shipwrecked on an island. After many weeks alone, I gave up the thought that I would ever be found. One day while walking the beach, I heard some crying behind a rock. I was so excited that someone else was here, I went to check it out.

Behind the rock I saw the most beautiful mermaid stranded on the beach. She told me if I brought her back to the water, she could grant me 3 wishes.

I picked her up, and brought her back to the sea.

She asked what were my three wishes?

First I said, I'd like to get off this Island, and back home.

When my body is fully underwater, your wish will be granted, she said.

Second, I'd like to be the richest man in the World.

Again she said, when my body is fully in the water your wish will be granted.

Third, hmm this is a tough one. I have been on this Island without a women for a long time. I would like to have sex with you.

As you can see, I am not made for that. She said.

OK how about a little head.

Pirate mode re-enabled.
YARGH! Where's me boner?! Walk me plank. Man me harpoonies! AHOY!

Eddie2100 · 03-14-2005, 06:11 AM

lol good head joke... it always good to start off the day with alittle head..

Homer · 03-14-2005, 06:33 AM

I like these jokes lol

Wolfy · 03-14-2005, 06:52 AM

I went to the psychiatrist the other day wearing a saran wrap outfit. The doc took one look at me and said, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts".

BaDUM chaaaaaa

Eddie2100 · 03-14-2005, 07:01 AM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

them damn pills!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a woman goes to the doctor and complians that her and her husband never have sex anymore. the dotor then gives her a large jar of pills and instructs her to give him a few in his drink at night. so the woman goes home and that night she puts one in his coffee. they start to make out real hot and heavy. she decides that it aint enough so tha next night she put two in and they really get it on but she still isnt satisfied. so on the third night, she dumps the entire jar in his 32 ounce beer. well...
a week later, the doctor calls and the womans son picks up the phone
"So how is your mom doing?"he asks.
"well, mom's dead, sis is pregnant, my asshole hurts, and dad is out naked on the lawn screaming 'HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!'

Eddie2100 · 03-14-2005, 07:48 AM

bump..........

FissPunny · 03-14-2005, 07:56 AM

how does a fag have a wank?

he shits in his hand first

jayme_ · 03-14-2005, 07:58 AM

q: what do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

a: Their last hit was The Wall

gangbangjoe · 03-14-2005, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddie2100

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

them damn pills!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a woman goes to the doctor and complians that her and her husband never have sex anymore. the dotor then gives her a large jar of pills and instructs her to give him a few in his drink at night. so the woman goes home and that night she puts one in his coffee. they start to make out real hot and heavy. she decides that it aint enough so tha next night she put two in and they really get it on but she still isnt satisfied. so on the third night, she dumps the entire jar in his 32 ounce beer. well...
a week later, the doctor calls and the womans son picks up the phone
"So how is your mom doing?"he asks.
"well, mom's dead, sis is pregnant, my asshole hurts, and dad is out naked on the lawn screaming 'HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!'

sickkittens · 03-14-2005, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jayme_

q: what do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

a: Their last hit was The Wall

Ouch. That was cruel.

sickkittens · 03-14-2005, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddie2100

why becuase i'm bringing a little laughter in your sad sad life

I'm still waiting for the laughter from it.

pubenemy · 03-14-2005, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Sobe is the best content provider in the world.

lol

Eddie2100 · 03-14-2005, 10:07 AM

come on no one is really racist anymore what maybe 5 percent in the world.....

spideriux · 03-14-2005, 12:11 PM

ha ha funny one :D

axelcat · 03-14-2005, 12:12 PM

MetaMan · 03-14-2005, 12:12 PM

"what do you call ducks in a box?"

answer:

"a bunch of quackers"

Manowar · 03-14-2005, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarad

Not sure if this is an old one, I heard it the other day for the first time!

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, "Well, you can have it, but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why, yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

Sara

KingAsher · 03-14-2005, 12:26 PM

"Why does Michael Jackson Like 28 years olds?"

Because theres 20 of em'

broke · 03-14-2005, 12:37 PM

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

03-13-2005, 10:21 PM	#1
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	Funny Joke .. post one if you got one a plane was in flight when the captains voice was heard over the loud speaker saying" we taken on to much weight and we will have to let go some of the luggage out of the back of the plane, over" a few moments go by and a few passengers i heard saying that they see their bags flying''' Five mins go bye when the voice is heard on the loudspeaker again "awww folks I regret to till you that we still have a weight problem and now we are gonna have to ... let some of the passengers go." you hear gasp and screams and cry's in the crowd.. then the voice comes back... " to be fair about this folks we are gonna start alphabeticliay ... would all the Afro-American please stand in the back on the plane" no one moves "OK would then all the Black People please go the back of the plane" again no one moves "fine then would all the Colored people go to the back of the plane" Nothing! then a little girl says to her mother" Momma i dought u say we wuz Colored .." No honey "the mom says ." Today we are hahahahahahas And we go after the Fucking Mexican... __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-13-2005, 10:32 PM	#2
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	Hahaha, nice one. __________________ 26 + 6 = 1

03-13-2005, 10:48 PM	#4
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	why becuase i'm bringing a little laughter in your sad sad life __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 04:04 AM	#7
sarad Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 146	The Poker Player Not sure if this is an old one, I heard it the other day for the first time! Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it, but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?" With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why, yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back." THAT, my friends, is a poker player! Sara __________________ The day Microsoft makes a product that does not suck will be the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

03-14-2005, 05:04 AM	#8
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	q; what sexual position produces the ugliest babies? a: ask your mom __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

03-13-2005, 10:34 PM	#3
Wendy's Assistant Manager So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 75	You suck at life.

03-14-2005, 03:26 AM	#5
Lee Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Kernow Posts: 2,977	Weird, I know the joke the other way round were the pilots asks all ethnic people to go to the back, when no-one does he says its gonna be alphabetical... So would all Asians, blacks, coons and darkies go to the back of the plane.

03-14-2005, 03:27 AM	#6
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Sobe is the best content provider in the world.

03-14-2005, 05:07 AM	#9
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	that poker joke is good __________________ I like turtles.

03-14-2005, 05:40 AM	#10
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	i agree i like that poker joke __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 05:45 AM	#11
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	Good poker joker

03-14-2005, 05:46 AM	#12
adonthenet Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,753	good one

03-14-2005, 06:08 AM	#13
Chio The Pirate Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: YARGH! On me big sailboat with the skull flags * * ICQ: 39-183769 Posts: 946	Mermaids YARGH! Pirate mode dis-engaged A man walks into a bar, and sits down for a drink. While looking around he notices a man at the end of the bar with a very small head (the size of an orange). A little shocked at how someone's head could be so small, he gets up some courage to go and ask him about it. Excuse me, I couldn't help notice your head is very small. The guy laughs it off, and proceeds to tell the man what happened. When I was a young sailor I was shipwrecked on an island. After many weeks alone, I gave up the thought that I would ever be found. One day while walking the beach, I heard some crying behind a rock. I was so excited that someone else was here, I went to check it out. Behind the rock I saw the most beautiful mermaid stranded on the beach. She told me if I brought her back to the water, she could grant me 3 wishes. I picked her up, and brought her back to the sea. She asked what were my three wishes? First I said, I'd like to get off this Island, and back home. When my body is fully underwater, your wish will be granted, she said. Second, I'd like to be the richest man in the World. Again she said, when my body is fully in the water your wish will be granted. Third, hmm this is a tough one. I have been on this Island without a women for a long time. I would like to have sex with you. As you can see, I am not made for that. She said. OK how about a little head. Pirate mode re-enabled. YARGH! Where's me boner?! Walk me plank. Man me harpoonies! AHOY! __________________ Need to get a site indexed in a few days? Want thousands of targeted, quality hits to your site? Want to beta test something that will revolutionize the way companies, and individuals advertise online.? Click here to take a look at Bliggo

03-14-2005, 06:11 AM	#14
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	lol good head joke... it always good to start off the day with alittle head.. __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 06:33 AM	#15
Homer Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 6,780	I like these jokes lol __________________

03-14-2005, 06:52 AM	#16
Wolfy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 3,574	I went to the psychiatrist the other day wearing a saran wrap outfit. The doc took one look at me and said, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts". BaDUM chaaaaaa

03-14-2005, 07:01 AM	#17
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- them damn pills! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a woman goes to the doctor and complians that her and her husband never have sex anymore. the dotor then gives her a large jar of pills and instructs her to give him a few in his drink at night. so the woman goes home and that night she puts one in his coffee. they start to make out real hot and heavy. she decides that it aint enough so tha next night she put two in and they really get it on but she still isnt satisfied. so on the third night, she dumps the entire jar in his 32 ounce beer. well... a week later, the doctor calls and the womans son picks up the phone "So how is your mom doing?"he asks. "well, mom's dead, sis is pregnant, my asshole hurts, and dad is out naked on the lawn screaming 'HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!' __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 07:48 AM	#18
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	bump.......... __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 07:56 AM	#19
FissPunny Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 231	how does a fag have a wank? he shits in his hand first __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-14-2005, 07:58 AM	#20
jayme_ Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: new york city Posts: 158	q: what do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? a: Their last hit was The Wall

03-14-2005, 10:07 AM	#25
Eddie2100 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Miami,fl Posts: 119	come on no one is really racist anymore what maybe 5 percent in the world..... __________________ E-mail: [email protected] AIM: Kazuca21

03-14-2005, 12:11 PM	#26
spideriux Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 17,227	ha ha funny one :D __________________ FreeOnes

03-14-2005, 12:12 PM	#27
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

03-14-2005, 12:12 PM	#28
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	"what do you call ducks in a box?" answer: "a bunch of quackers"

03-14-2005, 12:26 PM	#30
KingAsher Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 685	"Why does Michael Jackson Like 28 years olds?" Because theres 20 of em' __________________ Asher Hardt Matrix Content Inc. www.matrixcontent.com ICQ: 160132354 AIM: Ashermatrix E-mail: [email protected]

03-14-2005, 12:37 PM	#31
broke Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Someplace Windy Posts: 4,501	Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.