Dear President Bush, - GoFuckYourself.com

ADL Colin · 02-27-2005, 08:41 AM

Dear President Bush,

I have been reading the Bible and hope you can shed some light on the following.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Signed,

The OTHER Almighty.

kmanrox · 02-27-2005, 08:44 AM

hmmmm shellfish is bad? that sucks...

i guess ill have to start eating more shellfish

mardigras · 02-27-2005, 08:44 AM

Heh, originally directed at Dr. Laura, but I love that piece. I have shut up a number of pablum pukers in usenet by simply throwing a few verses back at 'em

ADL Colin · 02-27-2005, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mardigras

Heh, originally directed at Dr. Laura, but I love that piece. I have shut up a number of pablum pukers in usenet by simply throwing a few verses back at 'em

Plagiarism in academia? Bad.

Plagiarism in marketing? Good.

Nicky · 02-27-2005, 08:47 AM

hehe, good shit!

Phoenix · 02-27-2005, 08:51 AM

oh wow..i have to read the bible one day

especially the Leviticus part..sounds good,

Head · 02-27-2005, 08:52 AM

Amazing how they take it out of context!

ADL Colin · 02-27-2005, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix

oh wow..i have to read the bible one day

especially the Leviticus part..sounds good,

Leviticus is the best book in the bible .. for anti-bible thumping.

mardigras · 02-27-2005, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Almighty Colin

Leviticus is the best book in the bible .. for anti-bible thumping.

Absolutely. For every verse that a funkamentalist can throw at you from Leviticus there are a dozen you can throw back harder

Rui · 02-27-2005, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Almighty Colin

Plagiarism in academia? Bad.

Plagiarism in marketing? Good.

so fucking true

steffie · 02-27-2005, 10:15 AM

My favorite site on the net

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

enjoy..

Drake · 02-27-2005, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steffie

My favorite site on the net

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

enjoy..

Wow nice

Workshop_Willy · 02-27-2005, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mardigras

Heh, originally directed at Dr. Laura, but I love that piece. I have shut up a number of pablum pukers in usenet by simply throwing a few verses back at 'em

The above is from the Old Testament, deals with Jewish law, and is better posed to a Jewish leader. Bush is a Christian, and might answer thus:

(Mark, 7:5)"And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, 'Why do your disciples not live according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with hands defiled?'" (7:6)" And he said to them, 'Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, ''This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;(7:7)in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.'"

tony286 · 02-27-2005, 10:47 AM

very good letter

brand0n · 02-27-2005, 10:51 AM

stolen and reposted

thanks =]

sherie · 02-27-2005, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steffie

My favorite site on the net

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

enjoy..

Ahh, this is some good stuff. Thank you!

datezonline · 02-27-2005, 11:28 AM

colin/moron.

its actuly a book on how priests should live. not you or bush.

rambler · 02-27-2005, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by datezonline

colin/moron.

its actuly a book on how priests should live. not you or bush.

So thats how priests should live?????

Kicker · 02-27-2005, 11:35 AM

nice shit!;)

Manowar · 02-27-2005, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steffie

My favorite site on the net

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

enjoy..

Very good read

Johny Traffic · 02-27-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Almighty Colin

Dear President Bush,

I have been reading the Bible and hope you can shed some light on the following.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Signed,

The OTHER Almighty.

I dont think Bush reads GFY

Johny Traffic · 02-27-2005, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by datezonline

colin/moron.

its actuly a book on how priests should live. not you or bush.

Its OK for Priests to have slaves, cool

The Sultan Of Smut · 02-27-2005, 01:41 PM

Awewome post!

Xplicit · 02-27-2005, 01:46 PM

LOL good one.

Young · 02-27-2005, 01:47 PM

this has been on the web for 5 years.

titmowse · 02-27-2005, 01:48 PM

And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye?

psili · 02-27-2005, 01:53 PM

"Religion is the invention of failures." - Charles Bukowski

pxxx · 02-27-2005, 02:15 PM

Wow, i didn't even know some of those things listed.

02-27-2005, 08:41 AM	#1
ADL Colin Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Tube Titans, USA Posts: 11,929	Dear President Bush, Dear President Bush, I have been reading the Bible and hope you can shed some light on the following. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)? I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Signed, The OTHER Almighty. __________________ Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY! skype = "adultdatelink" Last edited by ADL Colin; 02-27-2005 at 08:42 AM..

02-27-2005, 08:44 AM	#2
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,292	hmmmm shellfish is bad? that sucks... i guess ill have to start eating more shellfish __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

02-27-2005, 08:47 AM	#5
Nicky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	hehe, good shit! __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

02-27-2005, 08:51 AM	#6
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	oh wow..i have to read the bible one day especially the Leviticus part..sounds good, __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

02-27-2005, 08:52 AM	#7
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	Amazing how they take it out of context! __________________

02-27-2005, 08:44 AM	#3
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	Heh, originally directed at Dr. Laura, but I love that piece. I have shut up a number of pablum pukers in usenet by simply throwing a few verses back at 'em

02-27-2005, 10:15 AM	#11
steffie Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in the Mountains, far far away Posts: 2,422	My favorite site on the net http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/ enjoy.. __________________ Partying since '96 and not going anywhere Anna's Dorm

02-27-2005, 10:47 AM	#14
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	very good letter

02-27-2005, 10:51 AM	#15
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	stolen and reposted thanks =]

02-27-2005, 11:28 AM	#17
datezonline A man trapped in a woman's body Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: hardrive Posts: 450	colin/moron. its actuly a book on how priests should live. not you or bush. __________________ epassporte are assholes with bad service and no fraud protection, they are based offshore in st kitts so they cant be sued when they fuck you over

02-27-2005, 11:35 AM	#19
Kicker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: TakeBucks.com - Porn Star Academy Posts: 7,040	nice shit!;) __________________ TakeBucks.com and Real-Bucks.com *65% \| $30 PPS \| 10% referral!!!* TryAnalFisting.com - ratio is 1:85. No joke! ========================= Alex Affiliate Manager support@takebucks_dot_com

02-27-2005, 01:41 PM	#23
The Sultan Of Smut Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 4,325	Awewome post!

02-27-2005, 01:46 PM	#24
Xplicit Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: █◄►█ Posts: 3,558	LOL good one.

02-27-2005, 01:47 PM	#25
Young Bland for life Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 10,468	this has been on the web for 5 years. __________________ ★★★

02-27-2005, 01:48 PM	#26
titmowse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: TEXAS Posts: 5,320	And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye? __________________ I still love everybody

02-27-2005, 01:53 PM	#27
psili Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Loveland, CO Posts: 5,526	"Religion is the invention of failures." - Charles Bukowski __________________ Your post count means nothing.

02-27-2005, 02:15 PM	#28
pxxx First African GFY Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 12,114	Wow, i didn't even know some of those things listed.