You Know You're Russian When... - GoFuckYourself.com

Mr. Igor · 02-17-2005, 08:57 PM

I took his off a russian forum.... the russian members will find this very funny and true ;)

------------------------------------------
You're Russian When...
Your car costs more than your college education

Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not

Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)

Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends

Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.

Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone

Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font

You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents

People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can

Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy"

You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market

You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki

You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner

You know all the cops by their first names

You know someone who works at a dental lab

You are somehow related to most of the people you know

On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2

You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit

Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper

Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs

At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'...

Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB

You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying.

You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne).

The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy".

You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.

Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk.

You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).

You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka

You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on.

Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4...

You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).

You have a personalized license plate.

When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts.

Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"

Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones."

Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough.

You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.

Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise.

You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.

Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.

Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational

You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends!

Spunky · 02-17-2005, 08:59 PM

Nyet Nyet fellow comrade

yellowmenace · 02-17-2005, 09:00 PM

nice dude.

sickbeatz · 02-17-2005, 09:00 PM

Fuck That Too Much To Read

rollinOn20s · 02-17-2005, 09:10 PM

I'm not even close to that background/heritage, and I found that pretty funny!

Sasha18 · 02-17-2005, 09:15 PM

xorosho

Kevsh · 02-17-2005, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasha18

xorosho

ocheen xorosho ... how many apply to you Igor (besides the leather)

Pete-KT · 02-17-2005, 11:09 PM

seems tru about the two russians that i know

UniversalPassLorence · 02-17-2005, 11:17 PM

some funny & true lines

Anita · 02-18-2005, 04:13 AM

_________________________________
Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper
_________________________________
:D
_________________________________
You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
_________________________________

Nope. It tinted so much that the driver even at the cloudy daytime need to open the window so see anything outside
_________________________________
You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).
_________________________________
Holy truth! :D

Something in this text is surely not truth but in general it's pretty funny! Thanks for the good morning, I was laughed like crazy!!!

LasseKongos · 02-18-2005, 04:14 AM

Nothing wrong with russians. They work hard, at leat the people I work with.

BabeHunter · 02-18-2005, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoodlumm

Your car costs more than your college education

Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends

Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.

Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone

People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can

You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market

You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki

You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner

You know someone who works at a dental lab

Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB

You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).

You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"

You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.

Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.

Yep! All true

kuthi123 · 02-18-2005, 06:01 AM

looks like most of them are true

Adultnet · 02-18-2005, 06:21 AM

some lines are nice lol

B-Eazy · 02-18-2005, 06:36 AM

LOL thats so good you have no idea.. I am russian and jewish and thats post is so true, except that most russian have more money then a lot of other people and wear all name brands and ride benz's or something better. But "the information systems" i was pissing my pants bro. Good shit.. Thanks for that!

hova · 02-18-2005, 06:37 AM

Some fucking funny ones in tht list

Mr. Igor · 02-18-2005, 10:57 AM

i wont lie almost everything is true.

Phoenix · 02-18-2005, 11:03 AM

whats a loh

i laugh at people who drive auto matic as well ;)

Mr. Igor · 02-18-2005, 11:06 AM

same as saying, what a moron he is driving an auto...

Lace · 02-18-2005, 01:02 PM

haha this is great! one of my good friends is russian, so I kind of understand it. lol

spamofon · 02-18-2005, 01:11 PM

one thing i do not get, is why russian and synagogue?

now you are mixing jewish with russian background and russia-russian

sweetME · 02-18-2005, 01:20 PM

I can relate to the vodka part and I thought it was funny.

CAHEK · 02-18-2005, 01:31 PM

i'm approved

VASmtl · 02-18-2005, 01:47 PM

Fuck Not All Russians Are Like That Although Majority Is

tungsten · 02-18-2005, 01:51 PM

funny shit

Stacey_JoinRightNow · 02-18-2005, 01:52 PM

with all of that...IM sure im not a RUSSIAN

Just_Dave · 02-18-2005, 02:13 PM

that was prety funny

spideriux · 02-18-2005, 02:21 PM

when I'm drinking a VODKA

02-17-2005, 08:57 PM	#1
Mr. Igor Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 276	You Know You're Russian When... I took his off a russian forum.... the russian members will find this very funny and true ;) ------------------------------------------ You're Russian When... Your car costs more than your college education Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn) Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner You know all the cops by their first names You know someone who works at a dental lab You are somehow related to most of the people you know On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2 You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'... Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne). The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy". You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to. Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk. You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself). You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on. Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4... You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer). You have a personalized license plate. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?" Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones." Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough. You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets. Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise. You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex. Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long. Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends! __________________ Fully Managed Hosting igor AT serverprovider.com ICQ: 308440791 1-888-312-4113 EXT 112.

02-17-2005, 08:59 PM	#2
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Nyet Nyet fellow comrade __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

02-17-2005, 09:00 PM	#3
yellowmenace Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,141	nice dude. __________________ Yellow Menace icq# 322981173

02-17-2005, 09:00 PM	#4
sickbeatz The Hustler Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,993	Fuck That Too Much To Read __________________ GalleryFeeder.com

02-17-2005, 09:10 PM	#5
rollinOn20s Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ontario Posts: 2,006	I'm not even close to that background/heritage, and I found that pretty funny! __________________ Trade With xApsters Thumb TGP's Today - Some Of The Biggest and Best On The Net!

02-17-2005, 09:15 PM	#6
Sasha18 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 582	xorosho __________________

02-17-2005, 11:09 PM	#8
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	seems tru about the two russians that i know

02-17-2005, 11:17 PM	#9
UniversalPassLorence Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Califonia Posts: 3,721	some funny & true lines __________________ $25.00 PPS for $1.00 Trial Making Webmasters Money Since 1997 ICQ: 305090349

02-18-2005, 04:13 AM	#10
Anita Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 61	_________________________________ Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper _________________________________ :D _________________________________ You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit _________________________________ Nope. It tinted so much that the driver even at the cloudy daytime need to open the window so see anything outside _________________________________ You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself). _________________________________ Holy truth! :D Something in this text is surely not truth but in general it's pretty funny! Thanks for the good morning, I was laughed like crazy!!!

02-18-2005, 04:14 AM	#11
LasseKongos Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,668	Nothing wrong with russians. They work hard, at leat the people I work with.

02-18-2005, 06:01 AM	#13
kuthi123 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,478	looks like most of them are true

02-18-2005, 06:21 AM	#14
Adultnet Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 8,713	some lines are nice lol __________________ TrafficCashGold Paying Webmasters Since 1996! Awesome Conversions! Fast Weekly Payments! Over 125 Tours!

02-18-2005, 06:36 AM	#15
B-Eazy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,521	LOL thats so good you have no idea.. I am russian and jewish and thats post is so true, except that most russian have more money then a lot of other people and wear all name brands and ride benz's or something better. But "the information systems" i was pissing my pants bro. Good shit.. Thanks for that! __________________

02-18-2005, 06:37 AM	#16
hova Traffillionaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ:209371571 Posts: 22,430	Some fucking funny ones in tht list __________________ http://traffillions.com/ Sign up and get lifetime revshare on your traffic

02-18-2005, 10:57 AM	#17
Mr. Igor Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 276	i wont lie almost everything is true. __________________ Fully Managed Hosting igor AT serverprovider.com ICQ: 308440791 1-888-312-4113 EXT 112.

02-18-2005, 11:03 AM	#18
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	whats a loh i laugh at people who drive auto matic as well ;) __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

02-18-2005, 11:06 AM	#19
Mr. Igor Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 276	same as saying, what a moron he is driving an auto... __________________ Fully Managed Hosting igor AT serverprovider.com ICQ: 308440791 1-888-312-4113 EXT 112.

02-18-2005, 01:02 PM	#20
Lace Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,116	haha this is great! one of my good friends is russian, so I kind of understand it. lol

02-18-2005, 01:11 PM	#21
spamofon Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,999	one thing i do not get, is why russian and synagogue? now you are mixing jewish with russian background and russia-russian

02-18-2005, 01:20 PM	#22
sweetME Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 3,162	I can relate to the vodka part and I thought it was funny. __________________ Email: questions @ Prodinix.com \| Site: Prodinix.com

02-18-2005, 01:31 PM	#23
CAHEK C.C.C.P. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Novorossiya Posts: 7,041	i'm approved __________________ Pharma from True-Meds. High converting shop in Europe and USA, fast payouts via BTC !!!

02-18-2005, 01:47 PM	#24
VASmtl Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 39	Fuck Not All Russians Are Like That Although Majority Is

02-18-2005, 01:51 PM	#25
tungsten Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 10,579	funny shit __________________ VOYEUR /HOMEMADE, HENTAI / CARTOON, Reality, Amateur, Shemale, Hardcore, Cuckold, Celebrity, Retro/Vintage, ect...ALL OUR SITES >> Unbelievable Ratio \| High % of Rebills \| Bi-Monthly Payments (also to E-Passporte) Ton's of EXCLUSIVE Free content & FHG's \|=> GREAT REVENUE $$$ GUARANTEED!

02-18-2005, 01:52 PM	#26
Stacey_JoinRightNow Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal Posts: 6,269	with all of that...IM sure im not a RUSSIAN __________________

02-18-2005, 02:13 PM	#27
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009	that was prety funny

02-18-2005, 02:21 PM	#28
spideriux Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 17,227	when I'm drinking a VODKA __________________ FreeOnes