You Know You're Russian When...
 

I took his off a russian forum.... the russian members will find this very funny and true ;)

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You're Russian When...
Your car costs more than your college education

Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not

Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)

Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends

Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.

Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone

Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font

You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents

People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can

Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy"

You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market

You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki

You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner

You know all the cops by their first names

You know someone who works at a dental lab

You are somehow related to most of the people you know

On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2

You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit

Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper

Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs

At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'...

Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB

You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying.

You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne).

The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy".

You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.

Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk.

You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).

You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka

You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on.

Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4...

You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).

You have a personalized license plate.

When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts.

Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"

Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones."

Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough.

You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.

Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise.

You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.

Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.

Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational

You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends!

Nyet Nyet fellow comrade

nice dude.

Fuck That Too Much To Read

I'm not even close to that background/heritage, and I found that pretty funny!

xorosho :1orglaugh

ocheen xorosho ... how many apply to you Igor (besides the leather) :thumbsup

seems tru about the two russians that i know

some funny & true lines :1orglaugh

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Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper
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:D
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You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
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Nope. It tinted so much that the driver even at the cloudy daytime need to open the window so see anything outside
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You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).
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Holy truth! :D

Something in this text is surely not truth but in general it's pretty funny! Thanks for the good morning, I was laughed like crazy!!!

Nothing wrong with russians. They work hard, at leat the people I work with.

Yep! All true

looks like most of them are true

some lines are nice lol :)

LOL thats so good you have no idea.. I am russian and jewish and thats post is so true, except that most russian have more money then a lot of other people and wear all name brands and ride benz's or something better. But "the information systems" i was pissing my pants bro. Good shit.. Thanks for that!

Some fucking funny ones in tht list

:thumbsup i wont lie almost everything is true.

whats a loh


i laugh at people who drive auto matic as well ;)

same as saying, what a moron he is driving an auto...

haha this is great! one of my good friends is russian, so I kind of understand it. lol

one thing i do not get, is why russian and synagogue?

now you are mixing jewish with russian background and russia-russian

I can relate to the vodka part and I thought it was funny. :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh i'm approved

Fuck Not All Russians Are Like That Although Majority Is

funny shit :thumbsup

with all of that...IM sure im not a RUSSIAN :)

that was prety funny

:) when I'm drinking a VODKA :thumbsup