English speaking people: Need some grammar help - GoFuckYourself.com

Violetta · 02-11-2005, 06:57 AM

My band has recorded a song, but we wonder if we have to change a sentence:

"the passport is in my trunk,
and as usual, my boss is almost drunk"

Is that a bad sentence that has to be changed?
Its hard to write lyrics in foreign laguages you know...

Violetta · 02-11-2005, 07:37 AM

wtf? Noone who can help?

gh0st · 02-11-2005, 07:43 AM

that's written perfectly man, no need for help

gh0st · 02-11-2005, 07:44 AM

only thing i'd change is:

the passport is in my trunk

to

my passport is in the trunk

Violetta · 02-11-2005, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gh0st

only thing i'd change is:

the passport is in my trunk

to

my passport is in the trunk

Ok thanks alot man!

sickkittens · 02-11-2005, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gh0st

only thing i'd change is:

the passport is in my trunk

to

my passport is in the trunk

What if it's not his passport? ;)

Tanker · 02-11-2005, 07:57 AM

Looks good by me

DarkJedi · 02-11-2005, 07:59 AM

"and as usual, my boss is fucking drunk"

DateDoc · 02-11-2005, 08:03 AM

where is the rest of the song?

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 02-11-2005, 08:05 AM

you could cut this "and as usual, my boss is almost drunk" down to
"and my boss is always drunk"

Hera, the Apocalypse · 02-11-2005, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkJedi

"and as usual, my boss is fucking drunk"

this is cool

Schwick · 02-11-2005, 11:12 AM

I think that I have the next verse for you. Let me know what you think and feel free to use it.

"My love for you is like a truck, Beserker!
Would you like to make some fuck, Beserker!
My love for you is ticking clock, Beserker!
Would you like to suck my cock, Beserker!"

AdultLocals_Max · 02-11-2005, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickkittens

What if it's not his passport? ;)

good point

TooDoLittleIzALot · 02-11-2005, 11:15 AM

this place is fuckin' great!!

tranza · 02-11-2005, 11:21 AM

Post the mp3 for your song when you're done dude...

Manansala · 02-11-2005, 11:53 AM

"the" passport is in my trunk
"the" is poetic artistic as "my" is direct deliverance

passport's in the trunk,
and yea, my boss is still drunk.

Where "still" can be "always", "almost", "fucked", "fucken'", or just...
and yea, my boss is stoned.

Licentious · 02-11-2005, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockatansky

My band has recorded a song, but we wonder if we have to change a sentence:

"the passport is in my trunk,
and as usual, my boss is almost drunk"

Is that a bad sentence that has to be changed?
Its hard to write lyrics in foreign laguages you know...

how about the passport is in my trunk
as well as my boss whos almost drunk...

02-11-2005, 06:57 AM	#1
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	English speaking people: Need some grammar help My band has recorded a song, but we wonder if we have to change a sentence: "the passport is in my trunk, and as usual, my boss is almost drunk" Is that a bad sentence that has to be changed? Its hard to write lyrics in foreign laguages you know... __________________ M&A Queen

02-11-2005, 07:37 AM	#2
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	wtf? Noone who can help? __________________ M&A Queen

02-11-2005, 07:57 AM	#7
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	Looks good by me __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

02-11-2005, 08:03 AM	#9
DateDoc Outside looking in. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: To Hell You Ride Posts: 14,243	where is the rest of the song? __________________

02-11-2005, 11:12 AM	#12
Schwick Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Right here, right now. Posts: 543	I think that I have the next verse for you. Let me know what you think and feel free to use it. "My love for you is like a truck, Beserker! Would you like to make some fuck, Beserker! My love for you is ticking clock, Beserker! Would you like to suck my cock, Beserker!" Last edited by Schwick; 02-11-2005 at 11:14 AM..

02-11-2005, 07:43 AM	#3
gh0st So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 928	that's written perfectly man, no need for help

02-11-2005, 07:44 AM	#4
gh0st So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 928	only thing i'd change is: the passport is in my trunk to my passport is in the trunk

02-11-2005, 07:59 AM	#8
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	"and as usual, my boss is fucking drunk"

02-11-2005, 08:05 AM	#10
C_U_Next_Tuesday WW4L Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: over the river and through the woods Posts: 10,581	you could cut this "and as usual, my boss is almost drunk" down to "and my boss is always drunk"

02-11-2005, 11:15 AM	#14
TooDoLittleIzALot Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 158	this place is fuckin' great!!

02-11-2005, 11:21 AM	#15
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Post the mp3 for your song when you're done dude... __________________ I'm just a newbie.

02-11-2005, 11:53 AM	#16
Manansala Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 551	"the" passport is in my trunk "the" is poetic artistic as "my" is direct deliverance passport's in the trunk, and yea, my boss is still drunk. Where "still" can be "always", "almost", "fucked", "fucken'", or just... and yea, my boss is stoned. __________________ I don't have a signature. !