Blow Job Etiquite - GoFuckYourself.com

Cunt · 11-22-2004, 07:45 PM

Blow job etiquette (by a woman)

First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
Extension to rule #3- No, I don't have to swallow.
My ears are not handles.
Extension to rule #5- Do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?
I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart.
Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just you can't have sex right now.
Extension to #8- "blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you are that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my midol.
If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
No, I will not do it while you watch TV.
When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's Rebuttal

First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.
Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
You bitch about the taste, but trust me when i tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.
At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
Play with the balls.
No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
Caress the ass, too. We like that.
Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

Satisfaction · 11-22-2004, 07:58 PM

suck it hard and swallow, is all that needs to be remembered..

Kard63 · 11-22-2004, 08:02 PM

Anyone that cant deal with me pushing a little on their head cant blow me.

ProjectNaked · 11-22-2004, 09:30 PM

That is "kick-fuking-ass"

(2) thumbs up

BitterPen · 11-22-2004, 09:40 PM

Wiggles · 11-22-2004, 09:48 PM

"First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will. "

haha thats good

jwerd · 11-22-2004, 10:05 PM

Fucking hilarious...

Screaming · 11-22-2004, 10:25 PM

great stuff and i completely agree with the girls of course

Easton · 11-22-2004, 11:22 PM

etiquette

Red Ezra · 11-23-2004, 02:36 AM

funny - now suck me - hehe

Mefo · 11-23-2004, 02:48 AM

hehe lol

421Fill · 11-23-2004, 02:53 AM

funny

LiveDose · 11-23-2004, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hahahaha
Blow job etiquette (by a woman)
First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

Yes, it's in the rules. Page 1, at the top...

Living For Today · 11-23-2004, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hahahaha
[*] If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?[/list]

I love it

Speaking of blow jobs I havent had one for 2 months. hmmmmm.

Elli · 11-23-2004, 03:14 AM

It makes the woman sound like a total bitch. :P

But then it makes the guy sound like an asshole, so it evens out.

ocho-ocho · 11-23-2004, 05:28 AM

whattan article!

at least there is still the so called "etiquette"

Sarah_Jayne · 11-23-2004, 05:34 AM

If I am going to put it in my mouth I am going to be okay with swallowing.

Fukeneh · 11-23-2004, 05:34 AM

i love it.

its old but its good.

Mikey_219Inc · 11-23-2004, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hahahaha
Blow job etiquette (by a woman)
I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart.

i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?"

Sarah_Jayne · 11-23-2004, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mikey_219Inc
i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?"

once in a sex filled weekend my bf started to go down on me and then I felt him stop and minutes later I heard snoring. Now, given that we had done A LOT that day I just took it that I wore him out. He fell asleep with a finger in me so I sort of had to wake him up without trying to get hurt. 'no, i love being down here..i'll keep going'

uh huh...like a kid that fell asleep on the sofa arguing with his mom that he really was okay to stay up for a movie.

d00t · 11-23-2004, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mikey_219Inc
i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?"

nice

dcortez · 11-23-2004, 08:52 AM

What's next?

A union?

-Dino

hova · 11-23-2004, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mikey_219Inc
i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?"

hehe

Basic_man · 11-23-2004, 08:55 AM

My GF would agree... but not me ! :D

kowntafit · 11-23-2004, 08:59 AM

That is fucking funny, nice post.

Drake · 11-23-2004, 09:00 AM

I think you're onto something

sirbknight · 11-23-2004, 10:08 AM

"
i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?""

To fucking funny..LMAO

EZRhino · 11-23-2004, 12:06 PM

Killer post

LMOA

tranza · 11-23-2004, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hahahaha
When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.

If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

Lol!! I loved this ones!

Manowar · 11-23-2004, 01:06 PM

MandyBlake · 11-23-2004, 01:16 PM

Whatever woman made that up is a bitch!
Here's mine!

# First and foremost, I love to do it!
# Extension to rule #1- So you'll get a great bj.
# I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; I want you to be happy and have a good time so cum wherever you want.
# Extension to rule #3- Yes I love to swallow!
# Please push on the top of my head. I want you to be in control.
# I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart. Ok I agree with this one! lol
# Having my period means that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit, but I' extremely horny so I need the dick anyway I can get it!
# I'm not worried about pubic hairs in my mouth cuz I'm too busy concentrating on your bj.
# Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is fine cuz I can get myself off if you're not in the mood.
# No, it doesn't particularly taste good. But I'm not swishing it around in my mouth for 30 seconds like Listerine so it really doesn't matter.
# Yes, I will do it while you watch TV.
# When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough tell them all about how much you get blown and how good it is.
# Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". It means I WANT to kiss it good morning!

Hows that? lol

Mikey_219Inc · 11-23-2004, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MandyBlake
Whatever woman made that up is a bitch!
Here's mine!

# First and foremost, I love to do it!
# Extension to rule #1- So you'll get a great bj.
# I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; I want you to be happy and have a good time so cum wherever you want.
# Extension to rule #3- Yes I love to swallow!
# Please push on the top of my head. I want you to be in control.
# I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart. Ok I agree with this one! lol
# Having my period means that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit, but I' extremely horny so I need the dick anyway I can get it!
# I'm not worried about pubic hairs in my mouth cuz I'm too busy concentrating on your bj.
# Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is fine cuz I can get myself off if you're not in the mood.
# No, it doesn't particularly taste good. But I'm not swishing it around in my mouth for 30 seconds like Listerine so it really doesn't matter.
# Yes, I will do it while you watch TV.
# When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough tell them all about how much you get blown and how good it is.
# Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". It means I WANT to kiss it good morning!

Hows that? lol

if i take a shit directly before the blowjob, do i need to shower or just wipe real good?

MandyBlake · 11-23-2004, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mikey_219Inc
if i take a shit directly before the blowjob, do i need to shower or just wipe real good?

Shower please!

Dagwolf · 11-23-2004, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MandyBlake
Whatever woman made that up is a bitch!
Here's mine!

# First and foremost, I love to do it!
# Extension to rule #1- So you'll get a great bj.
# I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; I want you to be happy and have a good time so cum wherever you want

.Etc....

Mandy is the younger, prettier, and dirtier girl referred to in "A Man's Rebuttal"

Dagwolf · 11-23-2004, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mikey_219Inc
if i take a shit directly before the blowjob, do i need to shower or just wipe real good?

What would you say to a woman who asked you that?

WPProphet · 11-23-2004, 01:36 PM

I laughed my ass off reading that to my coworkers!!

MandyBlake · 11-23-2004, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dagwolf
Mandy is the younger, prettier, and dirtier girl referred to in "A Man's Rebuttal"

hahah.
I guess so!

Warden · 11-23-2004, 01:40 PM

Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week"

Having this been said to me I fucking died reading this!

Denis_SC · 11-23-2004, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Satisfaction
suck it hard and swallow, is all that needs to be remembered..

Mikey_219Inc · 11-23-2004, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MandyBlake
Shower please!

what if i use wetwipes? they smell nice and fresh ... and i dont like my salad tossed, just talking about freshness

Mikey_219Inc · 11-23-2004, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dagwolf
What would you say to a woman who asked you that?

i wouldnt say anything, i personally take em in the shower and clean the pooper myself so i can get in there nice and deeeeep!

bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl bl

TheMob · 11-23-2004, 02:28 PM

hehe, old. but funny nonetheless

11-22-2004, 09:48 PM	#6
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	"First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will. " haha thats good __________________ no sig

11-22-2004, 10:05 PM	#7
jwerd Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 1,953	Fucking hilarious... __________________ Yii Framework Guru - Seasoned PHP vet - Partner @ XXXCoupon.com

11-22-2004, 11:22 PM	#9
Easton Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 9,825	etiquette __________________ New models booked and shot every week... MILFs, pornstars and teens. Girls for every niche and project. Looking for high-quality affordable exclusive content? Check me out at Easton Content for all the details.

11-23-2004, 02:48 AM	#11
Mefo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 6,169	hehe lol __________________

11-23-2004, 02:53 AM	#12
421Fill Super Mario Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Swenson's Avatar Posts: 19,481	funny __________________ RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!

11-22-2004, 07:45 PM	#1
Cunt So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2002 Location: on your mind Posts: 170	Blow Job Etiquite Blow job etiquette (by a woman) First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful. I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. Extension to rule #3- No, I don't have to swallow. My ears are not handles. Extension to rule #5- Do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick? I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just you can't have sex right now. Extension to #8- "blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you are that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my midol. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. No, I will not do it while you watch TV. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". A Man's Rebuttal First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you? I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when i tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth. Play with the balls. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. Caress the ass, too. We like that. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep". If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

11-22-2004, 07:58 PM	#2
Satisfaction WootWootCash.com Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 10,900	suck it hard and swallow, is all that needs to be remembered..

11-22-2004, 08:02 PM	#3
Kard63 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 237 619 975 Posts: 8,944	Anyone that cant deal with me pushing a little on their head cant blow me. __________________

11-22-2004, 09:30 PM	#4
ProjectNaked Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Detroit Areola Posts: 4,309	That is "kick-fuking-ass" (2) thumbs up

11-22-2004, 09:40 PM	#5
BitterPen Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: TN Posts: 1,926	__________________

11-22-2004, 10:25 PM	#8
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	great stuff and i completely agree with the girls of course __________________

11-23-2004, 02:36 AM	#10
Red Ezra redezra.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Vegas Baby! Posts: 4,680	funny - now suck me - hehe

11-23-2004, 03:14 AM	#15
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	It makes the woman sound like a total bitch. :P But then it makes the guy sound like an asshole, so it evens out. __________________ email: [email protected]

11-23-2004, 05:28 AM	#16
ocho-ocho Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,769	whattan article! at least there is still the so called "etiquette" __________________ ____________________________ under construction

11-23-2004, 05:34 AM	#17
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	If I am going to put it in my mouth I am going to be okay with swallowing.

11-23-2004, 05:34 AM	#18
Fukeneh Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Location: Location: Posts: 1,245	i love it. its old but its good.

11-23-2004, 08:52 AM	#22
dcortez DINO CORTEZ™ Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Vancouver Island Posts: 2,145	What's next? A union? -Dino

11-23-2004, 08:55 AM	#24
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	My GF would agree... but not me ! :D __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

11-23-2004, 08:59 AM	#25
kowntafit Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 4,667	That is fucking funny, nice post. __________________ This is where my next million is coming from!

11-23-2004, 09:00 AM	#26
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	I think you're onto something

11-23-2004, 10:08 AM	#27
sirbknight Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: FLA Posts: 150	" i got so relaxed once i fell asleep and the next thing i heard "are you fucking snoring?"" To fucking funny..LMAO __________________ Bobby Azure Cash ICQ: 163892447

11-23-2004, 12:06 PM	#28
EZRhino Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: couch Posts: 6,258	Killer post LMOA

11-23-2004, 01:06 PM	#30
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

11-23-2004, 01:16 PM	#31
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	Whatever woman made that up is a bitch! Here's mine! # First and foremost, I love to do it! # Extension to rule #1- So you'll get a great bj. # I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; I want you to be happy and have a good time so cum wherever you want. # Extension to rule #3- Yes I love to swallow! # Please push on the top of my head. I want you to be in control. # I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart. Ok I agree with this one! lol # Having my period means that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit, but I' extremely horny so I need the dick anyway I can get it! # I'm not worried about pubic hairs in my mouth cuz I'm too busy concentrating on your bj. # Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is fine cuz I can get myself off if you're not in the mood. # No, it doesn't particularly taste good. But I'm not swishing it around in my mouth for 30 seconds like Listerine so it really doesn't matter. # Yes, I will do it while you watch TV. # When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough tell them all about how much you get blown and how good it is. # Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". It means I WANT to kiss it good morning! Hows that? lol __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

11-23-2004, 01:36 PM	#36
WPProphet Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Valencia, CA Posts: 340	I laughed my ass off reading that to my coworkers!! __________________ AIM: WPmktgdir ICQ: 278887331

11-23-2004, 01:40 PM	#38
Warden Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Valencia, CA Posts: 2,906	Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" Having this been said to me I fucking died reading this! __________________ AIM: ZeeRiddler ICQ: 128160005 Warden's MS

11-23-2004, 02:28 PM	#42
TheMob Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: 2006 Posts: 8,584	hehe, old. but funny nonetheless