Essentials TIPS for YOUR bachelor pad!!

[Xster]

Alot of you guys are single like me but many of us don't know how to set up our Bachelor Pad to be chick friendly!

Whether your pad passes the lady's "test" or not could be the difference between getting laid or not. Hopefully you will find a few of my Don Juan like tips helpful.

Some important things to remember about your bachelor pad are:

- YOU must be comfortable there.
- A WOMAN should not be uncomfortable there.
- It should reveal your PERSONALITY.
- It should be a FUNCTIONAL place to live.
- It should look like a MAN lives there.

Certain things are obvious and go without saying. Your place should be clean, neat, and not stink! Keep in mind that it should look "lived in" and not like you just spent six hours cleaning it before she came over. You want her to be "impressed" but also comfortable.

However, the main thing to remember is that when this Hot number enters your place, she's looking to make an assessment of your personality, to find out what kind of person you REALLY are, and trying to decide whether or not the two of you might be compatible to FUCK that day and if your lucky many more days after that!


Entertainment - Your bachelor pad should be entertaining. By "entertaining" I mean that this is a place where you two will be spending some time (hopefully) so you need, at minimum, a decent TV, stereo, and VCR. You should also have some games available - maybe a deck of cards, a backgammon board, and some other board games you like to play. Conversation is great, but nobody wants to talk all the time. You should have interesting things to DO.

Couch - Large, soft, and comfortable. Your couch is the focal point of your living room. It's the place where you and she will get to know one another, where you two will drink wine and listen to music, where you two can kick back and watch TV, and most likely where you'll make your first "move." Be sure to keep it spotless... which can be tough if that's where you prefer to eat. And please, no love seats. If she has to choose between being cramped with you in a love seat or relaxing in a nice comfortable chair across the room, she just might choose the fucking chair!!!

Coffee Table - Have an interesting book or two and some magazines lying across it - things that she can browse through while waiting. Books should have great titles or even pictures. The magazines you choose to layout will help to reveal your personality and help the "impression" you're trying to make. So choose them wisely!!

Plants - Try and have live plants but fakes plants will do if they look authentic. Several scattered throughout your apartment. Most guys don't want plants because they think it makes them look "gay" But they are essential for adding COLOR and CLASS to your place while setting yourself apart from those little boy types. BOYS don't have plants. Men do.

Framed Photos - Maybe in a bookcase or on a table. She will look at these for clues as to what you value, who you are, and where you've been. Pictures of family members, friends, trips you've taken, and pets are good. Old girlfriends and Ms. July are NOT!!!

Framed Art - On the wall in the living room, bedroom, and maybe even the dining room and bathroom depending on how big your place is. Cheap posters are not fucking allowed!!! Ideally this art that creates the right mood. This is your "bachelor" pad after all. Pick out something that you not only like but that also says a SAUVE MAN lives here.

Music - Music should be easily available in most every part of the house or apartment. If you have an impressive CD collection, this should be displayed prominently in a nice CD rack. She'll enjoy browsing through these. Having a VARIETY of music is a plus.. And make sure you have some smooth musice for those romantic dinners!

[Xster]

Atmosphere Lighting - Your living room light (and ideally dining room and bedroom too) should DIM to help create a soft and sexy atmosphere. And when you turn the light on, make sure not to turn it on "full blast." HAHA! Nothing kills a romantic mood like bright light shining in your eyes. Dont fuck it up with bright lighting!

Candles: Women love candles! They go great with soft music and drinks. If you buy scented candles make sure they all smell the same. If the candle smells STRONG before you buy it, its to strong. Make sure when buying a candle it only has a light sent when you smell it.

Bathroom - If she's in your apartment for more than ten minutes, she WILL go to your bathroom and check it out. The bathtub, shower, toilet, and sink should be spotless. You might also add one of those cleaning balls to your toilet to make the water colorful. That's always a good touch. You may also want to add some type of scent to your bathroom by placing a couple of stick up type things in out of sight locations.

Big FLUFFY Towels - She'll be GROSSED OUT by those small, thin towels with all the carefully crafted holes that you've been using for the last 14 years. BIG and FLUFFY will get her imagining herself draped in them after a hot shower with you! And dark blues or dark green colors tend to convey more of a "manly" impression.

EXTRA Toilet Paper - In plain view, so she doesn't have to go through your junk draws to find some!. But it shouldn't just be sitting there. The extra roll should be UNRAPPED!! Nothing is more embarresing than the LOUD CRINKLING of when your unwrapping a roll of toilet paper! Believe me she doesn't want you to think she is taking a shit! Unwrap it and set it up as almost a decoration in the in a little basket or something with other interesting things.

Around The Sink - Most guys keep every type of personal item that they've used since the last time they moved piled messily around the bathroom sink. Needless to say this is not good. Most of your stuff should be kept in the bathroom cabinets out of sight. You'll want to place only a few select things around your sink. And you choose these carefully. A couple different types of cologne (EXPENSIVE not cheap), aftershave lotion, liquid hand soap, box of tissues, a nice toothbrush holder (with a new looking toothbrush), expensive hair gel, and a couple other things
of your choosing.

Shower Curtain - A shower curtain can make or break a bathroom as most bathrooms are pretty small. Spending a few bucks here would be a great investment.

Tissues - Boxes of these in the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and everywhere else. Women always need tissues. And if she decides she wants one, and happens to find a box nearby, she'll be comfortable and impressed.

EXTRA New Toothbrush - In case things go well and she decides to spend the night!! A nice extra touch that is sure to impress her the next morning. However, you might want to fall a little short of hinting that she use it and DO NOT mention you have an extra toothbrush until the next day, youll creep her out if you mention it too early.

Most Expensive Shampoo and Conditioner - Even though you prefer rubbing your head with a bar of Dial Soap!! haha!! Don't let her know that! Make her think you actually care about yourself and treat yourself well. Have a nice bottle of shampoo and conditioner prominently displayed in the shower. (Paul Mitchell is the BOMB!) As with all personal products, the idea is to create the impression that you actually care about and respect yourself. Cheap personal products, even if you prefer them and think they're better, will create the exact opposite impression.

YOur BED - Queen is probably the best size. Big enough for two, but not so big that it looks odd in a single guy's place. And make sure that you have the bed on a cool frame. An old mattress in the corner may have been fine when you were a college freshman, but you're a MAN now. And REAL men sleep in real beds, preferably with real women riding them.

BIG Fluffy Pillows - Again, women like big and fluffy.

Cool Sheets and Comforter - When she walks by your bedroom door, she's going to look in and check out the bed. Whether or not she can VISUALIZE herself sleeping there is VERY VERY Important! Your sheets and comforter should be attractive, comfortable-looking, and INTERESTING. Plain, boring, and dull has no place in your bedroom. Do you really think she wants to sleep with a guy who's plain, boring, or dull? No fucking way! Again dark colors convey that "manly" impression that you want to make.

Condoms - Keep a variety of kinds in your nightstand or dresser near the bed. Always be prepared. You might actually one day somehow someway manage to get lucky. Yeeehaaa!

Wine - You should have at least one good bottle of wine available to drink with dinner, after dinner, or just because your a classy guy. Good doesn't necessarily mean expensive. You can get a great bottle of wine for $10 or so (Merlot or Chardonnay). Do not drink them out of regular glasses! Go buy a few wine glasses at Marshalls for cheap.

Beer - Don't have cheap beer in yoru fridge! You can drink that cheap crap when you're by yourself or watching the game with your pals, but when she's over you need something different. It should taste great and maybesomething she's never had before. To set yourself apart from all the ordinary guys! (Rolling Rock is great and chicks love Corona too.)

Non-Alcoholic Beverages - A variety of beverages including orange juice, soda, tea, and bottled water. Variety is the key so you're sure you've got something she might like.

Ice Cream - And again not the cheap brand either! Dove Bars, Haagen Daaz, or some other delicious, expensive treat will really "warm" her up.

Chocoate!- women LOVE Chocolate! Buy a few Hersheys Kiss bars and off it to her after dinner or even with wine.


So there you have it. The essentials of a smooth daddy bachelor pad. If you focus on those things listed above, not only will you pass her test, but she may not leave EVER! Good luck GFY'ers!

[AMADude]

Holy shit man, why didnt you just write a book.

[Xster]

Im all wired up. I wrote that a while back i just added some stuff onto it.

[OnTime]

Whoa

[Steen2]

entertaining..

[beemk]

EXTRA New Toothbrush - In case things go well and she decides to spend the night!!

what? you mean you dont kick her out after sex?

[beemk]

Originally posted by Xster
Im all wired up. I wrote that a while back i just added some stuff onto it.

are you sure you didnt steal it from somewhere? i coulda swore i read it somewhere before.

[xclusive]

I guess this is where you first published it...

[beemk]

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/bachelor.htm google owns you

[reynold]

bachelors will definetely learn more things how to keep thier pad...bright idea

[beemk]

Originally posted by xclusive
I guess this is where you first published it...

damn you beat me to it

[Xster]

Originally posted by xclusive
I guess this is where you first published it...

Yep you got it! Nice find

[Xster]

Copyright issues??? Uh oh. I wasnt trying to claim his shit, just trying not to get in trouble for infringment! My version is better!

[Paraskass]

Originally posted by xclusive
I guess this is where you first published it...

[Xster]

GREAT FUCKING ARTICLE! READ IT GUYS!

[xclusive]

Originally posted by Xster
Im all wired up. I wrote that a while back i just added some stuff onto it.

Sounds like you are trying to claim it as your own seriously DON'T FUCK WITH GOOGLE...

[beemk]

Originally posted by Xster
Im all wired up. I wrote that a while back i just added some stuff onto it.

Originally posted by Xster
Copyright issues??? Uh oh. I wasnt trying to claim his shit, just trying not to get in trouble for infringment! My version is better!

uh huh

[Xster]

What ever. Just trying to help out guys. Yeah i tried to claim it, sue me! hahaha!!

[[Brian]]

Your posts are fucking dumb, and so are you.

[Diabolical Cord]

All you really need is an IKEA catalog.

[Xster]

Originally posted by [Brian]
Your posts are fucking dumb, and so are you.

im sure your # of post are only from stupid insults. Can you say Looooser?

[Xster]

Originally posted by Diabolical Cord
All you really need is an IKEA catalog.

Just ordered one. Thanks for the tip.

[Xster]

Originally posted by [Brian]
Your posts are fucking dumb, and so are you.

HEY BRIAN!! Nice to see you again. Its been a LONG TIME! I use to run radio spots all over New England and sold access to a site called MANHOODEXERCISES.com and made a fucking killing!!!! You called me and claimed I copied your sites wording. Now do i seem like someone that would do that?? hahah! Thanks for the coin!! I made a quick fortune.

[smack]

haha. nice. but i just keep a big bottle of ruffies handy.

[boardersweetie]

Some of that stuff is a little cheesy, and most girls will catch on. If they don't think you're gay, they'll know it's a scheme to bed her. We're so much smarter than men give us credit for.

[[Brian]]

Originally posted by Xster
HEY BRIAN!! Nice to see you again. Its been a LONG TIME! I use to run radio spots all over New England and sold access to a site called MANHOODEXERCISES.com and made a fucking killing!!!! You called me and claimed I copied your sites wording. Now do i seem like someone that would do that?? hahah! Thanks for the coin!! I made a quick fortune.

Not surprised. Four years later and people are still copying me. We'll see who gets the last laugh.

[Rich]

I can't believe how much time some guys spend worrying about getting laid. Back when I was single we had a thing called alcohol.

[Gynecologist]

Last week I caught a chick digging throug my closet. She thought I was gone.

Dumb bitch.

[Gynecologist]

Originally posted by boardersweetie
Some of that stuff is a little cheesy, and most girls will catch on. If they don't think you're gay, they'll know it's a scheme to bed her. We're so much smarter than men give us credit for.

No you are not. Women LOVE to be bullshitted and mind-fucked. They eat that stuff up and come back for more.

[Fukeneh]

it needs a fucking stripper pole. its mandatory.

[Gynecologist]

Make sure you have an extra morning after pill as well.

[cpanic]

As with all personal products, the idea is to create the impression that you actually care about and respect yourself

You don't actually care about and respect yourself?

maybe that's why you have to trick women into diggin you....