I'm in the mood for a giggle - GoFuckYourself.com

Sarah_Jayne · 09-08-2004, 05:27 AM

if you have a joke, post em..if not just enjoy.

Me first:

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?", she asks.

"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...".

The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

The man exclaims, "Damn-- this thing must be an hour fast!".

bjjb · 09-08-2004, 05:56 AM

Project-Shadow · 09-08-2004, 07:15 AM

Heh,

The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also.

The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

TheLegacy · 09-08-2004, 07:15 AM

Baby seal walks into a club

skyechase · 09-08-2004, 07:28 AM

Argument About Sex

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?

Busy Bulls

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow."

fr33s3x · 09-08-2004, 07:29 AM

great jokes

Sarah_Jayne · 09-08-2004, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheLegacy
Baby seal walks into a club

so wrong

NoEngrish · 09-08-2004, 07:33 AM

hehe

Manowar · 09-08-2004, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
if you have a joke, post em..if not just enjoy.

Me first:

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?", she asks.

"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...".

The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

The man exclaims, "Damn-- this thing must be an hour fast!".

longbrick · 09-08-2004, 08:20 AM

This is a Russian Anekdote

4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

donnie · 09-08-2004, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by longbrick
This is a Russian Anekdote

4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

block · 09-08-2004, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by longbrick
This is a Russian Anekdote

4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

Gonna tell that jokes sometime... Nice one.

Basic_man · 09-08-2004, 08:56 AM

rolf

Alltopnotch · 09-08-2004, 08:59 AM

what do a pizza delivery man and a gynocologist have in common???

they can both smell it but they can't eat it.

WickedVenus · 09-08-2004, 09:02 AM

no offense to blondes here, just love this joke.

Ok there was this blonde in a row boat in the mojave desert rowing away. This other blonde in a car pulls up next to her and says " you know what its blondes like you that make us look dumb. if I could swim I would swim over there and kick your ass"

Sarah_Jayne · 09-08-2004, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WickedVenus
no offense to blondes here, just love this joke.

Ok there was this blonde in a row boat in the mojave desert rowing away. This other blonde in a car pulls up next to her and says " you know what its blondes like you that make us look dumb. if I could swim I would swim over there and kick your ass"

myjah · 09-08-2004, 09:20 AM

These are great. Just what I needed this morning.

Just_Dave · 09-08-2004, 09:24 AM

Grammar Police · 09-08-2004, 09:42 AM

I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

LaurieX · 09-08-2004, 10:03 AM

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/cat/html

xclusive · 09-08-2004, 10:05 AM

Well if you wanna giggle i'll just show you my penis girls always seem to laugh at it...

chase · 09-08-2004, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Grammar Police
I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

Sounds like fun.....you first!

mcp_catman · 09-08-2004, 10:28 AM

Jesus and Moses were up in (whereever the fuck they are) sitting by a lake...

Jesus Said: I wonder if we still have the mojo.
Moses replied: I'm sure we do let try something with this lake..
Jesus said: Ok you first...

Moses stands up and parts the lake in two with his staff...

Jesus said: Niiice bro, now put it back before my dad sees and gets pissed..
Moses replied: Ok, now you...
Jesus said: hmmmm, a lake of wine? naaaah... I know....

Jesus lifted up his robe and walked out onto the water, by the time he get half way out he starts to sink....

Jesus yells: moses help I can't swim!!!!

Moses parts the lake and Jesus walks ashore...

Moses says: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
Jesus replied: I forgot... That last time I did that I didn't have holes in my feet....

Sarah_Jayne · 09-08-2004, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Grammar Police
I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

honey, I said giggle, not wet dream.

EpicLisa · 09-08-2004, 10:59 AM

those were great! thanks for sharing

momo · 09-08-2004, 11:02 AM

chase · 09-08-2004, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mcp_catman
Jesus and Moses were up in (whereever the fuck they are) sitting by a lake...

Jesus Said: I wonder if we still have the mojo.
Moses replied: I'm sure we do let try something with this lake..
Jesus said: Ok you first...

Moses stands up and parts the lake in two with his staff...

Jesus said: Niiice bro, now put it back before my dad sees and gets pissed..
Moses replied: Ok, now you...
Jesus said: hmmmm, a lake of wine? naaaah... I know....

Jesus lifted up his robe and walked out onto the water, by the time he get half way out he starts to sink....

Jesus yells: moses help I can't swim!!!!

Moses parts the lake and Jesus walks ashore...

Moses says: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
Jesus replied: I forgot... That last time I did that I didn't have holes in my feet....

Very very funny!

jhauser · 09-08-2004, 11:55 AM

Hump day humor love it!

09-08-2004, 05:27 AM	#1
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	I'm in the mood for a giggle if you have a joke, post em..if not just enjoy. Me first: A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it." Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?", she asks. "Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...". The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!" The man exclaims, "Damn-- this thing must be an hour fast!".

09-08-2004, 07:15 AM	#4
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 17,096	Baby seal walks into a club __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

09-08-2004, 07:28 AM	#5
skyechase Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 510	Argument About Sex A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger? Busy Bulls A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow." __________________ Skye [email protected] ICQ: 246300603

09-08-2004, 07:29 AM	#6
fr33s3x Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 5,064	great jokes __________________

09-08-2004, 07:33 AM	#8
NoEngrish Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 364	hehe __________________

09-08-2004, 05:56 AM	#2
bjjb Have laptop will travel Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 145201426 Posts: 13,074

09-08-2004, 07:15 AM	#3
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	Heh, The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

09-08-2004, 08:20 AM	#10
longbrick Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 913	This is a Russian Anekdote 4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

09-08-2004, 08:56 AM	#13
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	rolf __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

09-08-2004, 08:59 AM	#14
Alltopnotch Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Oakland Posts: 2,845	what do a pizza delivery man and a gynocologist have in common??? they can both smell it but they can't eat it. __________________ WANT A FREE LAPTOP?

09-08-2004, 09:02 AM	#15
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	no offense to blondes here, just love this joke. Ok there was this blonde in a row boat in the mojave desert rowing away. This other blonde in a car pulls up next to her and says " you know what its blondes like you that make us look dumb. if I could swim I would swim over there and kick your ass" __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

09-08-2004, 09:20 AM	#17
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	These are great. Just what I needed this morning. __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

09-08-2004, 09:24 AM	#18
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009

09-08-2004, 09:42 AM	#19
Grammar Police So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 727	I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

09-08-2004, 10:03 AM	#20
LaurieX Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 1,541	http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/cat/html __________________ [email protected] ICQ# 81820905 Aim LaurieX THE BANNER YOU ARE TRYING TO RUN IS CAUSING ERRORS FOR EVERYONE ON GFY. PLEASE CORRECT IT!!!

09-08-2004, 10:05 AM	#21
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	Well if you wanna giggle i'll just show you my penis girls always seem to laugh at it... __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

09-08-2004, 10:28 AM	#23
mcp_catman Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 131	Jesus and Moses were up in (whereever the fuck they are) sitting by a lake... Jesus Said: I wonder if we still have the mojo. Moses replied: I'm sure we do let try something with this lake.. Jesus said: Ok you first... Moses stands up and parts the lake in two with his staff... Jesus said: Niiice bro, now put it back before my dad sees and gets pissed.. Moses replied: Ok, now you... Jesus said: hmmmm, a lake of wine? naaaah... I know.... Jesus lifted up his robe and walked out onto the water, by the time he get half way out he starts to sink.... Jesus yells: moses help I can't swim!!!! Moses parts the lake and Jesus walks ashore... Moses says: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Jesus replied: I forgot... That last time I did that I didn't have holes in my feet.... Last edited by mcp_catman; 09-08-2004 at 10:31 AM..

09-08-2004, 10:59 AM	#25
EpicLisa Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 305	those were great! thanks for sharing __________________ PIMPDOG ROCKS MY WORLD!! [email protected]

09-08-2004, 11:02 AM	#26
momo Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Western Hemisphere Posts: 245	lol

09-08-2004, 11:55 AM	#28
jhauser Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2,924	Hump day humor love it! __________________ TopBucks.com\| PlugInFeeds.com\| PinkVisual.com I am not one of those girls that go Mobi ing around my mobile solution is for you and you only. icq 175789972