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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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Thread Tools |
07-05-2001, 02:29 PM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Attn: Jenna Jameson....
Hi Jenna, you sent for me? Someone said you wanted to make out with me or something like that, so here I am.
Umm, you did say that right? Heres my pic, Im the sexy guy with the big head.  ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 02:44 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The Helm!
Posts: 8,818
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Machine... You are such a TOOL!
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07-05-2001, 02:45 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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07-05-2001, 02:47 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг
Posts: 10,945
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAH |
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07-05-2001, 02:51 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: ReliableServers.Com
Posts: 1,462
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07-05-2001, 02:52 PM
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#6 |
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HAL 9000
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 34,515
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Machine stay away from Jenna or you'll face fatal issues!
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07-05-2001, 02:55 PM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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See! Rodent heard her say it!
Woo Hoo Im like gonna make out or somethin. Fatal Issues? Does that mean you're like going to kill me or something? To be honest man, death doesnt scare me... Ive been married. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 02:57 PM
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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So how many cfm of hot air can you cycle thru that big head?!
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07-05-2001, 02:58 PM
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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If I wasnt so hungover and nauseous right now, I would come back with a retort so witty it would make your head spin!
But "Youre a poophead" will have to suffice for the moment! lol ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 03:02 PM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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I forgot you're hungover so I'll have to accept the lame retort. Besides I'm a tuff old lady and take whatever you can dish out!
<font color="#505050"> [This message has been edited by Gemini (edited 07-05-2001).] |
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07-05-2001, 03:04 PM
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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I appreciate the reprieve. I promise to make it up to you one of these days with some incredibly witty verbal bashing. Or I could just call ya "Tuff Old Lady" which was always a hit with my wife too. No wonder she ditched me. lol
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 03:07 PM
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#12 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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Only ONE eh? Well I have enough men under my belt that thought they were witty and they all got ditched too. But tuff old lady wasn't anything to get upset about. lmbo
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07-05-2001, 03:11 PM
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#13 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Oh Im definitly witty. When you have a head my size, you have to learn to fight and be witty.
So Im a fighter AND a smartass. Luckily Im good in the sack too, so it all works out. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 03:30 PM
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#14 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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07-05-2001, 03:34 PM
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#15 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Brian, you may be my boss, but sometimes the employee can teach the employer a thing or two.
Todays lesson: There is no limit to how low I will sink to make a jackass of myself in front of a woman. You should try also, since you are also of the short and cranially advantaged persuasion like I am. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 03:41 PM
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#16 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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Oh thats great for you Machine!
It took me 20 years but I finally found a good one that can and does keep up with me. And yep, I dug in to the shorter guy pool to find him.  All those years looking for 6'+ were a waste.Now behave for your boss before he gives you a time out in the corner. lol Someome like Jenna would stop your heart permanently within 2 mins. |
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07-05-2001, 03:45 PM
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#17 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Good for you Gemini... finding someone special is good.
However having to pay them is bad. As for Jenna stopping my heart in two minutes... why? What would she be doing the other minute and a half after Im done? lol Just kidding, me strong like bull. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com [This message has been edited by Machine (edited 07-05-2001).] |
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07-05-2001, 03:45 PM
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#18 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
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Machine ... aka "Machine May" from the MMA forum?
Good to see you hear bro. Now stop harassing Jenna!  |
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07-05-2001, 03:48 PM
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#19 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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The one and only!! It is me, the famous big headed Sexy Bitch!
Who are you? ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 03:49 PM
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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Don't know much about them there big words yur usin and all but I'll have to agree with Eric_ada_RedEyes' first post, hehe.
And because I know you outside of the Internet, I'm already well aware of how you are able to make an ass out of yourself. So thankfully, because of you, I know how NOT to act. ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:08 PM
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#21 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
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Quote:
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07-05-2001, 04:12 PM
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#22 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Dude you just described half the forum! lol
Are we friends or foes? lol ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:13 PM
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#23 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Brian, Ive seen you being a jackass with my own two eyes, so give it up! lol
Ive seen you do shit that still gives me nightmares. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:22 PM
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#24 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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ok, I'm back.
I'm juuuuuust about to print checks for the last period. Machine, what was that you were saying? ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:25 PM
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#25 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Checks? Did you say checks?
Umm, nothing Sir. Im just working hard Sir. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:31 PM
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#26 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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btw, now that you've brought it to my attention, you do have quite a big noggin.
------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:33 PM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Have you seen your head lately "Charlie Brown"?!?
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:35 PM
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#28 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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your next check it looks like is for 37.50.
that sound about right to you? (so many numbers to deal with...they get lost in all this head space I've got) ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:37 PM
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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07-05-2001, 04:39 PM
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#30 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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Shit, good catch Machine! Now I know why I hired ya!
I knew that sounded a bit much, and after re-checking, it turns out that you're getting your normal $11.45 paycheck. Lesson for the day: Learn to quit while you're ahead. ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:41 PM
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#31 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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You're too smart for me bossman.
*Note to self - Post picture I took of Brian buying a penis enlarger while he thought no one was looking* ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:42 PM
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#32 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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Hey Linus! Lay off Charlie Brown or I call ya up with Inna Gadda De Vidi (spelling totaled) playing on a stereo that would scare you, in the background! That'd fix your hangover!
Btw, no one has challenged you for the largest haid! Not many want their claim to fame as being a fathaid eh? lol Brian, backcharge him 10% for each post that follows in this thread from him. Send it to the Snoopy Foundation for the reduction in large heads from over drinking or more commonly known as not knowing their limits. |
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07-05-2001, 04:45 PM
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#33 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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*Note to self: continue to 'misplace' Machine's check for the next 12 pay periods and then watch how fast a straight man drops to his knees* (should be common practice for you by now anyway)
lol, get back to work ya damn slacker! ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:45 PM
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#34 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Oh I know my limits.... I just know that I usually surpass them early in the evening. Thus ensues a drunken night of jackassedness.
Is that a word? ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:46 PM
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#35 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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07-05-2001, 04:46 PM
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#36 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: In your face
Posts: 8,488
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Machine.. you best watch Brian... he deducts for those who don't do "special favors" for him. Hope he doesn't give YOU the same job requirements he TRIED to give me.........
Brian... have you hit Machine up for those yet? Something about licking you............. well......... *blushing*..... THERE?? rotfl Tam ------------------ May the Force Be With YOU!! Not a FUCKING Reseller!! The Board of Force |
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07-05-2001, 04:46 PM
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#37 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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If you misplace my checks Id have to get down on my knees to pay rent anyway ya bastard!
Must remember to stop insulting the man that feeds me.... at least while he's looking. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:49 PM
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#38 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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Hint from an ex dancer that made more by drinking more... plain boiled spaghetti, 1/4 pound of it 30 mins or so before imbibing. It helps keep it soaked up. NO sauces or anything. Less hangover as well.
 The bill for that hint is in the mail to Brian to directly pay since fatheads generally forget their bills. lmFao |
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07-05-2001, 04:49 PM
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#39 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Tam, thanks for the warning. I wasnt sure what he meant when he mentioned some stuff about a bonus, some duct tape, whipped cream, a goat, KY, and some thumb tacks... now Im onto him and his twisted games.
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:49 PM
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#40 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: In your face
Posts: 8,488
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There you go Machine....... just be good while he is watching....... and you will be fine, when he ain't looking, SHOW YOUR ASS!!!!!!
And yes he is as twisted as they come...... I could tell YOU a thing or two about that one. Tam ------------------ May the Force Be With YOU!! Not a FUCKING Reseller!! The Board of Force [This message has been edited by Tam (edited 07-05-2001).] |
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07-05-2001, 04:51 PM
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#41 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Gemini I cant believe you would call me a fathead after all we've meant to each other.
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:52 PM
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#42 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Tam, did you just ask to see my ass?!? lol jk
Oh, and thanks for the pasta tip Gemini. I will have to try that. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:53 PM
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#43 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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Tam,
those requirements are only for the ladies on my staff, hehe. Actually, I shouldn't even joke about it. With my luck, I'd be up on "virtual sexual harrassment" charges quicker than I could blink, lol. Machine, I'm always looking. ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:53 PM
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#44 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: o-HI-o
Posts: 7,183
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I wouldn't if you were as good as your brags. My bad for believing someone so young tho! When will you be 18 anyhow?!
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07-05-2001, 04:56 PM
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#45 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: footmaniac.com
Posts: 2,880
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hahaha everybody answered on the thread except Jenna....lol !
------------------ www.adult-web-master.com evidence eliminator sells like hot cakes on porn sites |
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07-05-2001, 04:57 PM
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#46 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Gemini, I just fell in love with ya sweetie! Im 27 and feeling old so the 18 year old comment just made me your biggest fan.
------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 04:59 PM
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#47 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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SABAI, I know this sucks! I ask for Jenna, and I end up talking to my damn boss!
Where is Jenna?!? I thought I was gonna make out with her?!? ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 05:00 PM
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#48 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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Machine,
while you were busy showin yer ass, I've been training Jenna to take over your position at WebmasterCommerce. Don't worry, I still have 'other' work for you. hehe ------------------ Brian www.webmastercommerce.com |
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07-05-2001, 05:00 PM
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#49 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 660
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Quote:
I know you are, and I wish you would stop leaving nose prints on my window. ------------------ Machine Webmastercommerce.com Jerkoffhere.com |
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07-05-2001, 05:01 PM
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#50 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Amherst, MA
Posts: 450
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