WARNING: new FDA labels on all alchoholic beverages sold - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 09-02-2004, 12:41 PM

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Liquor Manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your UNDERWEAR.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

candyflip · 09-02-2004, 12:42 PM

Nope. Not really.

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 09-02-2004, 12:43 PM

That would be great if they put that on alcoholic beverages.. would make for some great reading when you are seeing 4 instead of two..

Manowar · 09-02-2004, 12:59 PM

hadnt seen that one before, funny stuff

Espiecally:

"The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof."

swoop · 09-02-2004, 01:02 PM

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Damm, they weren't???

Doc911 · 09-02-2004, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

damn it my wife said it was a rash!

CDSmith · 09-02-2004, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

This one's my fav. I've been to so many wedding receptions I lost count back in the early 80's, and every one has had at least one person like this jumping and jerking and twisting around like a baboon in heat.

Yet still I drink...

09-02-2004, 12:41 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	WARNING: new FDA labels on all alchoholic beverages sold Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Liquor Manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: Warning: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your UNDERWEAR. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. Warning: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

09-02-2004, 12:42 PM	#2
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,064	Nope. Not really. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

09-02-2004, 01:02 PM	#5
swoop Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 3,903	Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. Damm, they weren't??? __________________ Earn 50 % Per Sale - Weekly Payments by check, wire, PayPal, or ePassporte

09-02-2004, 12:43 PM	#3
C_U_Next_Tuesday WW4L Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: over the river and through the woods Posts: 10,581	That would be great if they put that on alcoholic beverages.. would make for some great reading when you are seeing 4 instead of two..

09-02-2004, 12:59 PM	#4
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	hadnt seen that one before, funny stuff Espiecally: "The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof."