WARNING: new FDA labels on all alchoholic beverages sold
 

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Liquor Manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your UNDERWEAR.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

:1orglaugh

Nope. Not really.

That would be great if they put that on alcoholic beverages.. would make for some great reading when you are seeing 4 instead of two..:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh hadnt seen that one before, funny stuff

Espiecally:

"The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or, worse, bulletproof."

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Damm, they weren't???

damn it my wife said it was a rash!

This one's my fav. I've been to so many wedding receptions I lost count back in the early 80's, and every one has had at least one person like this jumping and jerking and twisting around like a baboon in heat.

Yet still I drink...


:glugglug