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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
lurker
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: atlanta
Posts: 57,021
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Funny article by Mike South
How To Make Love Like A Pornstar:
Gee this is getting a ton of hype. A whats funny is...well the title says it all. Anyone in porn knows pornstars don't "make love" they fuck. But I guess how to fuck like a pornstar is a little too much truth in advertising. BUT.....If I did tell the truth it would read a lot more like this--- 1. Arrive late for your date, or maybe not at all, but if you don't arrive at all I guess you can't fuck, thus negating the purpose of the book.. 2. Complain...about everything, the time being too early, or too late, it was too hard to find, whatever. 3. Hand your musician boyfriend the keys to your car. 4. Complain to the make up artist, tell her how dto do your make up because only you know how to do it right, bitch that red lipstick is out. 5. Strip. 6. Complain that you're cold. 7. Demand more money. 8. Ask for the Director, then get told he isn't there because he is far too much of an artist to shoot sex scenes, his assistant does those, he only directs the dialogue. 9. Oral ? I thought that's what the fluffers do. 10. Reverse Cowgirl. 11. When the assistant director says cut, tell your co-star "Get the fuck off of me" 12. Complain, because your partner doesn't have wood, or is doing caverject, or smells bad, or has bad breath, or his penis is too small, or his penis is too large. 13. When it's time to resume tell your co-star to get it up himself, you aren't paid for that. 14. Mish. 15. Doggy. 16. Pop Shot--Hurry up, and don't get it in my hair or my eyes, then dodge it as though it were highly corrosive acid. 17. Pose for stills. 18. Cuss out P.A. for being late with baby wipes. 19. Ask producer when he's hiring you again. 20. Call musician boyfriend, who doesn't answer. 21. Complain. 22. Cry. 22. Get High with Behind the Scenes Cameraman. 23. Hitch ride home with Costar. There ya have it...How To Make Love Like A Pornstar....Y'all know I ain't gonna sugar coat it. |
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#2 |
The Best Ideas Start Here
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 6,037
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That's funny stuff. Mike's a great guy.
__________________
Regards, Rick Latona http://latonas.com Latona's - We Sell Money Making Web Properties Note to buyers of websites and traffic: please check our inventory at http://latonas.com/websites-for-sale. If you would like to make an offer on something, just let me know. |
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#3 |
FBOP Class Of 2013
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: bumfuck, ky
Posts: 35,562
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wow, he just describes almost every porn set I have ever been on
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#4 |
lurker
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: atlanta
Posts: 57,021
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Gave me a morning chuckle
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#5 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
hehehehe these guys live the la pornstar life day in and day out. the valley if filled with them.
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#6 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 51,692
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Fucking ROFL ... and it probably isn't far from reality
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#7 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
this is typical daily shit from a porn stud. ive known of the south crew for years. this is all very real.
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#8 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
![]() Especially since we were all together about a month ago ![]() |
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#9 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
this describes every little shithole porn set in the valley, to which Mike South and Jace refer. i live here remember? ;) the valley is full of these people. big deal, brag about meeting up with someone I respect
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#10 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
![]() I'll let you know when I'm "bragging", lol!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#11 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
haventy you heard the expression as if someone who drinks alot gets drunk... "well gotta expect that, you know how Dave is right?" note the "heheheh" geez you people need a hand.. same thing i wish i could post once a day without having you quote me and make me explain shit to you. get out of the house
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#12 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
![]() And I am out of the house, lol! ![]() |
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#13 |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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ever notice this peaches person argues about nothing?
jumps in conversation has no clue and then starts arguing about nothing. you live in the hills, i live where these people place their ads.. peaches do yourself a favor and just stop. i took you off ignore and now i have to see you quote me everyday. why dont you please JUST IGNORE ME INSTEAD??? please? as an old friend said, i can hear the banjos start everytime you post, you dont even understand my humor let alone my posts, just put me on ignore. no need to EVER quote me agin, okay? pretty please? i doubt you could go 2 days without quoting me and trying to argue, wanna try? hahaha
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#14 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
too seriously! ![]() Oops, I guess you "win" and I "lose" |
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#15 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
I make a comment to jace and now you feel the need to have jumped in and try to argue over it. yes you do. and i told you couldnt go a day without quopting me. you are obcessed with me actually. follow me around some more reddie
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#16 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
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#17 | |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
im trying to hit 40k, you are just a pinion. the funny thing is you actually say you are *having fun* during this. I am checking email, installing a script and half-ass working on a design. as i said, you take this board too serious, im working you are being entertained by my posts. this is your life, this is your entertainment. keep reading sugar, i know youre glued to my words, you have been for awhile. oscession.
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#18 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
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#19 |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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the fact you talk about me on boards I dont post on, SHOWS you have something going on in your head about me.
Others have pointed it out to me. you should seek help. you talk about me when i am not even around, issues.
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#20 | |
Old broad
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Away
Posts: 13,933
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Quote:
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