Bake

maybe this will actually work?

> A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the following
> exchange:
>
> Officer: May I see your driver's license?
> Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for drunk driving.
>
> Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
> Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
>
> Officer: The car is stolen?
> Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
> registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
>
> Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
> Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the
woman
> who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.
>
> Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
> Driver: Yes, mate.
>
> Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car was
> quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to
> handle the tense situation:
>
> Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
> Driver: Sure. Here it is.
> It was valid.
>
> Captain: Who's car is this?
> Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.
> The driver owned the car.
>
> Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a
> gun in it?
> Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
> Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
>
> Captain: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a
> body in it.
> Driver: No problem.
> Boot is opened; no body.
>
> Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
told
> him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box,
> and that there was a dead body in the boot.
> Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, as
> well.

Hot Tropical Babes

CUTE!! but, whats a "bloke"

------------------
Hot Tropical Babes

BrettJ

THAT'S A GREAT JOKE.

I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THAT HARD IN QUITE SOME TIME

Gemini

Bloke...Brit-Aussie slang for 'guy'

CDSmith

Did somebody say.......joke?

Oye Mick Bake! You the joke bloke?

Here's some jokes about STUPID COPS:

DUI: stands for "Duhhhh, U IDIOT"...

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
))
__________________________________________________ ____

This one made me laugh... "COP CONTEST"

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
__________________________________________________ ____

Body Parts...

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head.
He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error.
"Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.
"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch.
He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head.
"Head on curb."
__________________________________________________ ____

Top Ten Things To Say
When A Cop Pulls You Over

10. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
9. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
8. You must have been doing 125 to keep up with me.....good job.
7. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
5. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.
4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
1. I was just trying to keep up with traffic!
__________________________________________________ ____

Q: Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died?
A: Ten. Five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.
__________________________________________________ ____

More Dead Cops...

The old sheriff was driving along when there was an announcement on his radio that he was needed urgently at the scene of a major accident. When he got there, he found a local farmer filling in a large trench with his tractor.
"What y'all doin', son?" He asked.
"Well, sheriff," he replied, "I came across this accident, and I thought I would do the right thing." Said the farmer.
"And what might that be?" asked the sheriff.
"Well this here van full of vice cops just got plowed into tiny pieces by the passing train, and they were all killed instantly. I was just giving them a decent burial." Replied the farmer, while chewing on a piece of straw.
"Whoa, son," said the surprised sheriff, "That was fast! Y'all sure every one o' them there vice cops was dead?"
"Well," said the farmer, "two or three of 'em kept sayin' they weren't, but you know how them vice cops lie they fuckin asses off."


can you tell that cops ain't muh faverut peeple?
<font face="Arial">___________
CD
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DarkJedi

thats some funny stuff CD